Write Ups and Blogs

Run 2923 – APITW with Moses and Maggie – J C Smith Pavillion Nedlands – 11 May 2026

 BY CRAYFISH

With the 4 week absence of Prairie Dog, Soft Rock has agreed to do the photos and I will add to the run write up. The photos will be by a separate posting. It was a perfect night for the run but only a small pack of around 26 with 7 runners. Grizzly was as usual thanked for the weather but it was quickly realised that he had nothing to do with it as he is at Nash Hash. The runners headed off chasing Q into the leafy suburbs of Nedlands and Dalkeith and Phantom as usual led the walkers armed with his ever reliable map.
Pitt has returned after a 3 weeks absence – doing battle with a surgeons knife but has now fully recovered and on the mend. He named himself as a returnee then called up Sir Tom for a birthday (not present) and Pot Hole who is 77 years young and put on the obligatory carton. He thanked Pembo for filling at the circle during his absence.
Mastitis as RA called up Elbows to let him know that the watch he repaired is now finally working – Elbows wasn’t there to receive the accolades for the usual reason – and Polly delivered the weekly joke about an elderly couple confessing to their infidelities over the years. Stewie received the prestigious Wilsons Parking Award.
The hares were called up along with Q and Haggis – Haggis being the self confessed oldest runner and Q the youngest. Q provided a critique of the run – it was of 8km duration and had some strange markings and at times the false trails a bit too long but overall a great run. He recommended that a few points be deducted as the hare promised a drink stop which turned out to be a water fountain. Colonel was asked to give a summary of the walk but said he was unqualified as he was too busy talking to Chunda and did not take in the subtleties of the walk or absorb the magnificent scenery along the way – Colonel never lets you down and is always good fodder for the RA! Mention was made that with such a small pack that the runners are starting to look out for each other and waiting for the stragglers – what a good initiative.
The run was awarded a well deserved 8.6 and food followed – pulled beef with coleslaw on a bun. Our thanks to the hares for putting on an enjoyable night and to Polly and Xmas for attending to wagon duties.

Run 2922- Botak and Crayfish in Rosalie Park

Another good effort by 2 of our very experienced hashmen, Botak and Crayfish. Weather conditions during the day were good with temperatures in the afternoon around 23 degrees (even without Grizzly being present). However as soon as the sun sank behind the horizon the temperature dropped several degrees and it was a bit chilly at the start of the run. However, ideal running condition once we got underway. A total of 25 hashmen showed up at Rosalie Park where parking was at a premium. In worst case one had to walk a few hundred meters to the Home territory but it was worth it. Gumby was back from another stint in PNG (welcome back) and some hashers were absent and already on their way to the Interhash 2026 in Yogyakarta.

8 of the hardened hashmen and 2 dogs set-out for a meandering run through Subiaco and Shenton Park.  There where plenty of FTs and several checks with the aim of keeping the pack together and a good use was made of the laneways available in the area.

The total distance clocked was around 7.5 km, depending of the number of checks and false trails run by each person. The runners were back Home after approx. 1 hour and 9 minutes.

I can’t comment on the quality of the walkers walk, with the exception being Budgie coming in well after the arrival time of the runners and just before food was ready.

As a rare instance food was called before the circle was officially run, not because of the late arrival of the runners doing a 10.5 km run (refer Emu’s run several weeks ago) but because Botak had just arrived with warm Piza’s so better to eat them ‘fresh’.

The circle was run by stand-in On-sec Pembo and the (apparently acting) RA’s Mastitis and Moses.  Q was called out for his recent Birthday (thanks for the carton of ?? beer). Gumby as a returner. There must have been some other down downs but apparently I was not paying enough attention

Birdman was called-up for the Joke of the night, or as he called it himself a story, which was well received.

The hares were called out and the balls drawn from Mastitis’  “hairy balls back’ came up with an 9 and a 8. So run score awarded was 9.8.

All in all an excellent evening and a good run. Thanks to the hares Botak (and good luck on your trip back to UK) and Crayfish.

ON ON

Another Prick in the Wall (ak APITW)

 

Run 2920 – Action @ Woodlands Reserve

Not sure if a run write up will arrive from elsewhere, so will put this in should there be no other.
About 28 pitched up for a run with dreadful weather forecast for the early evening. There was the odd rain spit as the Hashmen were driving in and just before run start, the lean to was perfect protection from a real shower. But the weather held and the odd drop did not decimate the run.
We had the two Malaysian visitors and Birdman had a very special birthday related to an unlucky cricket score. On the day! Happy Birthday Birdman and thanks for the beers.
The run was a very good one refer Nanny and the walk too refer Grizzly. The RA either got lost or lazy and came in with the walkers, whilst the runners were in in just over the hour with APITW running out all the FTs and checks doing near 8km and the shortest version about 6.5km. The map is that recorded setting the run.
Dinner was a fine super Chilli con carne with the accompanying necessities and there was lots for seconds.
Emu told a very fine story about how Moses exported his contraband from Russia.
The run was scored at 9.6.
Thank you Polly and Xmas for bucket duties and ice cold beer.

Pitt run 2915 Pig Trap Review

Pig Trap on Pitt run 2915 – Darlington
A lovely evening for a run/walk in a great area with lots of interesting trail options.
I was part of the walking group consisting of 12 walkers & 2 dogs. Great to see Dick Tracy back out walking, he walked with us to Sandover Rd & then turned back down Pine Tce back to the beer wagon.
The running group of 13 plus 2 dogs set off in the opposite direction to the walkers & our paths did not cross again although both groups enjoyed a drink stop at Horse’s son’s place on Owen Rd.
From the comments that the runners made I was sorry not to be able to run although the walk was very good with a reasonable amount of climbing to keep Birdman & Phantom happy.
The runners were all back by 7.00pm and soon afterwards the circle was called by GM/On Sec.
It was raised by someone that the outgoing committee did not receive down downs at the AGPU in honour of their service. This was remedied & all members of the old committee were called forth.
Next up was Birdman who was celebrating 30 or 60 years of membership or maybe somewhere in-between , I was not paying full attention.
Returnees were Horse & Q. Skippy volunteered as a returnee but he is practically a permanent returnee so he missed out.
There was a joke about a sex change and pay cuts but I missed most of it.
Next up was Sir Knob who still thinks that parliamentary privilege allows him to park in a loading zone.
Haggis apparently committed the crime of missing out on a drink at the Blue dress run last week & this resulted in all the Scotsmen receiving down downs.
Xmas excelled himself with his joke about an old married couple farting in bed and keeping score. When it got to 2 all the husband was having difficulty farting ,finally shitting himself.
When asked by his wife what happens now he called half time & change sides.
RA Mastitis called upon Rimmer & Haggis to critique the walk & run . They both gave favorable accounts in under 10 words whereupon they both took balls out the hairy ballbag , resulting in a score of 75 out of 80 using a method only known to Mastitis.
The meal was a great chicken casserole/curry with bread & butter. Lots for everyone and some leftovers for Pitt to enjoy at his leisure.
Another great night, where would you rather be on a Monday
ON On
Pig Trap

PS You are lucky enough to have another Hills run next week. There will be some ‘off piste’ running/walking so remember to bring your torches !!

Run 2914 4 Seasons Joint Run set by WCH (Simple)

FROM THE GM/ONSEC

An interesting area seldom used by PH3 since the early days Parking lighting etc all adequate. There was confusion to begin with as no senior WC office bearers present and only a small group of around 8 WC runners but, needless to say, Basil B assumed control and things got underway.

The runners took off at the usual rapid pace with Phantom struggling with the map before leading the walk. An interesting older area if a little unkempt in places and what appeared to be 2 separate running packs. A drink stop for port and lemonade was welcome as it was a chilly night.  The circle included PH3 welcoming back Dick Tracy, still recovering and recommending “whatever you’ve got spend it now as you never know!” Great to see him up and about. Ramrod was 81 on the day and bought all a drink via a token each. Thank you Ramrod. In PDs absence I’m guilty of failing to take note of the WC charges etc but it was a brief circle with the run given a 10 and finished off by Hash songs.

A more than adequate supply of Subway rolls was brought along by Mumbles and was quickly followed by departing Hashers off for a very early night. I turned around after collecting the empties , mugs, plates etc for next week’s and there was only Polly Christmas and the wagon left. Home by 8.45 ,a very rare event.

 

OnOn

 

Pitt

 

RUN 2912 Stewie and Pig Trap

Set in the hills of Maida Vale – the site has been used before and lies on the boundary of Mundy Regional Park.
The run had many hills, steep and gravelly – great territory for front runner Boner to clear all the false trails, assisted by Mastitis, Nanny, Barcode, APITW, Pothole, Q, and visitor Isacc with the other runners – about 15 in total – splitting into subgroups. The run had plenty of flour and occasionally chalk and paper but was difficult at times to follow as it split into several competing marked trails.
The walkers re-visited their youth and surprised even themselves in ascending the steep paths to the top of the hill and both runners and walkers enjoyed a drink stop with a view.
The circle was led by GM Pitt followed by RA’s Mastitis & Moses – dressed in exotic Moroccan attire – Mastitis with a most impressive ball bag. What followed was a sleek affair, well received, with too many down downs to document and the joke by Moses about a Mr Brown trying to pick a fight on an airline.
Dinner was a superb Chicken Biryani with all the condiments – top notch!!
Where else would you be on a Monday?
On On
Prairie Dog
Sacre Bleu! We all pitched up at one of the toughest run sites not too far from CBD at 4.85km in about 65 minutes. There was a full invasion of the larger Price dynasty with Bar Code flying in from Dubai and Boner running in from somewhere else training for an ultra-marathon. Even Seagull made a third appearance in short time to complement the family support.
See Prairie Dog’s official write-up with some very fine photos.
DISSENTION IN THE CAMP: YEAR OF THE HORSE. It started badly for our horse when Horse was dressed down by our fearless GM. However. However! The misdemeanour was worthy of note. Last Monday of the month Horse arrived uteless and Pitt to the rescue. There will be some harsh words in future drives together until the bandaids come off.

Run 2911- AGPU – 16th Feb 2026

The Perth Hash House Harriers Annual General Piss Up – a once-a-year extravaganza where the outgoing committee is celebrated, the incoming committee announced, and awards given to the deserving, the legendary and the notorious.
The run was set at McGillivray Oval in Floreat amongst sprawling sporting complexes and adjacent to nearby Bold Park and Perry Lakes. Hares Nanny and Phantom set the run with flour, chalk and paper through carparks, bushland, around sports stadiums and across ovals. Despite the top-level efforts of front runners Q, APITW, Mastitis, and, oddly, Seagull – how does a walker get to be a “front runner”? – the home trail was accidently picked up and the run recorded as 2.72km in 26 minutes.
The circle was preceded with hors d’oeuvres of cheese, salami, pickles, crackers, and prawns as well as a wide choice of beers courtesy of the many recent birthday donations.
At the circle, outgoing On Sec Rimmer called up the hares Phantom and Nanny; run critique was provided by Q; Returnees were Birdman, Neon, Reluctant, Q; Birthdays(?) were Neon, Q, Antman; Emu was awarded a 50 years mug; Also called up were Budgie, & Colonel (?).
Awards were Pembo; Polly; Moses; Soft Rock; Elbows; Polecat (Tripple J to deliver); Haggis; Stewie & Pig Trap.
Outgoing GM Sir Knob thanked the outgoing committee and welcomed the incoming Committee: GM Pitt; On Sec (vacant); Joint Masters Stewie and Haggis; Hash Splash and Hash Cash Polly; RA’s Mastitis, Moses and Nanny; Run Master APITW; Hash IT Bushie; Token Master Mastitis; Munch Masters Budgie & Dick Tracy; and Hash Horn Soft Rock (to be confirmed).
Dinner Mains were a choice of chicken or beef curry with rice with plenty for seconds.
Refer to The Sir Knob’s Mob 2025 HASH ANNUAL on the Perth Hash Harriers website (there is no printed copy this year) for the full write up of the year’s events along with photos, details of the Awards, the Committees reports, and more…
Where else would you be on a Monday?
On On
Prairie Dog

Run 2910 – Seagull – 9th Feb 2026

Set in the suburb of Viveash – named after Samuel Viveash, the owner of the land in the 1840’s – and located just north of Midland along the banks of the upper Swan River.
11 runners and perhaps 20 walkers set off anticlockwise along the banks and wetlands of the river before snaking through the established suburb followed by new and future sub-divisions. The runners were led by returnee Red Dwarf and ably helped by Mastitis and APITW. The hare (Seagull) provided a drink-stop – well received – with cold water and icy-polls. The run was recorded at 5km in 43minutes – with one shortcut by your scribe.
Some of the locals enquired as to why there was so much shouting and horn blowing and after offering an explanation to two good looking lasses , Nanny kindly offered for them to hold his horn, which was politely declined!
At the circle On Sec Rimmer called up Skippy (visitor); Tripple J, Red Dwarf, Seagull (returnees); Tripple J (subject of Rimmer’s Limerick); Elbows, Polly, Griz (birthdays); APITW (racist comments); Seagull (talking in the circle); Griz(new car); Xmas gave a walker’s critique while dobbing in Griz for short-cutting – however Seagull noted that Griz was on chalk, unlike the other walkers. The joke was about Elbows at a night club. Red Dwarf gave a runner’s critique, noting the best sunset he’s seen in 6 months, and the run was awarded a score of 9.2. Great effort.
Dinner was Tuna Mornay served on fresh buns – a novel concept and strangely enjoyable!
Where else would you be on a Monday night?

 

Follow the link below to see the original write-ups on Facebook and view the photos and members’ comments

 https://www.facebook.com/groups/PerthHashHouseHarriers

Run 2909 – Prairie Dog, Bushie and Crayfish – Heathcote Reserve Applecross – 2 February 2026

The temperature soared to 40.9 which was probably the reason why only 26 of us were at the run. The hares wisely decided to mark the run in the morning and escaped the oppressive heat. Prairie Dog again used his favourite venue and used a new direction, towards Majestic Point and then back through the leafy suburb of Applecross – what a beautiful suburb it is. Surprisingly neither PD or Bushie remembered the old Majestic Hotel.
I think about 8 or 9 were on the run which was of 7.1 km duration and the leader APITW got back at 7.10. The master again led the walkers.
An interesting circle, Sir Knob was both On Sec and RA due to Rimmer being incognito and Dickie still in hospital and what a great job he did. First up was Phantom who tried to take over and was duly penalised and further disgraced himself by treading on Pothole’s dog’s foot. The dog was not happy but Prairie Dog assured us that no injury was sustained. Polly has a birthday on the 5th and returnees were Sea Gull and Topgun (thanks to Stewie for picking him up). And then Colonel was up – discretion this time was forgetting to return the cups. A bit of background – Prairie Dog forgot to take the cups last week (he also copped a down down) and the ever obliging Budgie took them home and washed them. As Budgie would not be at hash last night he dropped them off at Colonels place and you guessed it, Colonel forgot to bring them to the run – as I said last week, Colonel is an RA’s dream.
Polecat and Elbows were next, the story goes that Polecat offered to pick up Elbows on the way to hash. Elbows being the inquisitive person that he is honed by years of being a public servant questioned the geography here and asked Polecat why he would go so far out of his way. It turned out that Polecat had confused Elbows with someone else (identity unknown) and cancelled the offer, talk about an aging club!
Pitt gave an impassioned plea for someone to put their hand up for the position of On Sec. There are a number of people who could adequately do the job – you know who you are so please come forward.
Sir Tom gave a health report on an old member Sherlock and on Dick Tracy who is still in hospital – we look forward to getting Dickie back to hash. Crayfish was up to explain the poor polling for the Libs and being convincingly outgunned by Pauline and then Moses whose discretion was acting on a marking from a previous run and calling the pack back – the pack had just gone up a hill, had to come back then up the hill again when the error was identified. Sir Knob gave us 2 stories, the first about a dentist and chair adjustments and the second about 2 Hamersly hash men talking about how they explained coming home after a boozy night to their wives.
APITW gave a report on the run, it was a good review and a well deserved score of 9.1 was given. The meal was an excellent chilli con carne with rice, a dollop of yoghurt and hot chilli’s if you felt so inclined.
An enjoyable night, great venue, cold beers and our thanks to Prairie Dog for the effort he has put in, Sir Knob for filling in on circle duties and to Polly and Xmas for attending to wagon duties.
One of the photos is of a tree – enlarge the photo and at the top you will see a tree lopper in his hi vis clothing hauling up his chain saw. We spotted him while setting the run and were amazed that he could climb up to such a height.

Run 2908 – Australia Day Run – Budgie and Dick Tracy – Charles Riley Reserve North Beach – 27 January 2026

The Australia Day Run, a very significant run on our calendar – it brings us together to celebrate everything that unites us as nation and makes us the best country on earth.
33 of us turned up thinking we were going to be entertained by the dynamic duo and they would put on a Laurel and Hardy Show but we learnt that Dickie was in hospital with pneumonia and was quite ill. Dickie and Marlene had recently returned from an ocean voyage along the Queensland coast and had to endure a cyclone and then he catches a bug – a word of advice Dickie, stay on the land for future holidays.
Budgie had to make alternative arrangements for the run and the food and he did well. He set half of the run and then got Mastitis to do a live hare run for the second half and the runners said it was successful. I am told the run comprised 13 runners and was 6 km in length and the runners came in within the hour – all except Pitt who got a bit lost and took a bit longer. The walkers were again led by the master and went through parts of Star Lake.
The On Sec had Elbows up for as a returnee and for a birthday, Pig Trap for being Pig Trap (couldn’t understand what the offense was) and then he talked about celebrating Robbie Burns Day on 25 January – an important day in the life of the Scotties and has been going on for over 250 years. Rimmer recited a Robbie Burns poem, half in Scottish and which no one could understand and the other half in English. The Scotties – Rimmer, Haggis, Ramrod and Sirtomarse were called up for a down down.
Pembo was the stand in RA and called for a toast to our country to celebrate Australia Day. He then got Stewie up to critique the run and Stewie talked about foxes and Quendas and wildlife at Star Swamp and gave the run a 1.9. Pot Hole critiqued the run and gave it a well earned 8.5. Under Pembos complicated run scoring system he extrapolated this to 5.2 – quite an easy calculation, combine the run and walk scores 10.4 and divide by 2 = 5.2. I think I prefer Dickies scoring system using the black box. He finished with a story about a cowboy and a chilli meal.
Budgie put on pizzas which were devoured in no time flat. We all missed Dickies meal which is one of our culinary highlights of the year.
Well done to Budgie who had to improvise at short notice. Organising a run is always stressful and losing your cohare at short notice really puts you to the test. It turned out to be a great night and we thank him for his efforts. And our thanks to Polly and Xmas for attending to wagon duties.