Write Ups and Blogs


Run 2636 – Scumbag @ Hamer Park


A large pack convened at Hamer Park in spite of the instructions and lack of a sign until 5:50 when the pack had assembled.  Folks looking for North from the South were disappointed as it is called Longroyd from Lawley Street.

The horn was blown to get the attendance list done and the pack away and the Hare from Lala land was elsewhere on the planet.  A belligerent arrival and a brisk on-on had us away through the burbs, not crossing Walcott or into ECU, A good start.  Arrows, checks and FTs plentiful.  We use Ps at HHH but not Scummy; he uses arrows.   There were enough of them.

We crossed Alexander Drive, used laneways rather well and came up through the back of Angove. This was good running territory.

Thereafter we crossed back over Fitzgerald and now the smallish pack disintegrated.  At this stage, there were seven of us left. We got across Walcott together and remained on trail until we are asked to turn right at Queens when on Clifton Street. By then Gumby had called enough and Bushy and Moses, thought the extra loop to the East a luxury,

The four who decided to go on must have lost trail and added a stack as Gnocchi had 9.4km and Moses only 7, with Q somewhere in between.

All said a pretty good run; the hamburgers were really terrific after a long spell of Covid suited food and this author would say something over 8 was an appropriate score.

Well done Scummy and Antman.

(Written by Moses).


50th Anniversary Parliament House run photos

The Premier of Western Australia, Mark McGowan MLA, speaks to the hash chapters of Perth on the steps of Parliament House.

Mark McGowan MLA, on the steps of Parliament House addressing the gathered hashers (from the many chapters in greater Perth area). The Premier spoke about the benefits of running hash and commented that he has known Eric Ripper, former leader of the Labor Party, known to us as ‘Sir Knob’ for over 25 years. He went on to say he has never seen Eric looking better so Hash must be benefitting him.

The Premier then called ‘On on that way’ and depending where you where standing it was either to the left or to the right, showing that Hash is apolitical.

The Premier of Western Australia, Mark McGowan MLA, addresses the Hash on the steps of Parliament House.
GM greets Premier of WA
Perth Hash 2020 GM, Max ‘Horse’ Hore, meets and greets the Premier of Western Australia.
Is that chalk for marking the run asked the Premier?
Polly, On Sec of Perth Hash, gets to talk next.
Hmmm…which way does the run go, ‘to the left’?
Wagon & Cans.
Hamersley Hash have a photo opportunity with the Premier.
The Premier asks Sir Knob about the benefits of joining Perth Hash.
The signing of the Perth Hash T-Shirts.
Hashers of Perth.
What time does the run start?
Last opportunity to view the Perth Hash ‘Beer Bus’.
Great food was (self) served.
It wouldn’t be a joint run without Hamersley Hash! And South of Perth Hash House Harriers.
Sir Knob, RA of Perth Hash, addressing the hashers.
Our Chief Tugger, Rumpole, enjoying a small drink.
Meanwhile whilst the runners where hitting the streets the GM and On Sec (and St Peter, a founding member along with Cans who both ran on run #1 on 16/02/1970) were posing with the Premier of Western Australia, Mark McGowan MLA.

We understand ‘Sarge’ from the Perth Harriettes convinced the Premier to don the 50th Anniversary Perth Hash House Harriers T-Shirt for the photo opportunity.

Run 2685 – Awesome 4 Some Joint Run in Balcatta

Your scribe had Uber duties on the way to the On On, picking up Shakin’ from the Stirling Train Station. Just an easy run north on Cedric Street to discover it doesn’t join Delawney Street. No problem, divert to Odin then back onto Delawney.

The H4 & PH3 buckets were already in place with H4 near the Beer Cage (oh, that is Bear Cage).

The WCH3 bucket arrived behind Basil Brushes white Jeep just before the 6:15 PM start. Not sure why the start was delayed as most hash chapters present normally start at 6:00 PM.

BB addressed the runners and walkers before the run and stated that if it was a stuff -up Hamersley and Perth were to blame. C arrows for runners and straight arrows for walkers.

Off we went across the park and east on Delawney on a mixture of P and straight arrows. I did see some C arrows as well during the run. Across Delawney reserve and east on Campsbourne, west on Eversley and past Jones Paskin Reserve. The run meandered around Balcatta before passing West Balcatta Primary School with the new-ish Balcatta Senior High School in the distance. Good to see taxpayers’ money being spent on infrastructure for the future.
We ran past Lasagna’s house on Amelia then north on Kenwick past Nanny’s house – no drink stops here (more on that later).

On On to the drink stop where light beer and ginger beer was being served. A change from the last joint run where port was on offer. I had a quick drink and managed to get going just as Hamersley started singing their song. It also gave me time to run up the false trail (for runners, walkers kept going straight on) and back on Santarosa Way. We ran back past the drink stop
Over Odin Road, past Vrankovich Reserve, a quick false trail on Delage Way before the On Home on Delawney Street. 6km in just under an hour.

Crayfish arrived back with the food before the circle and the suggestion that we eat before the circle was not agreed to as PH3 hashers would have gone home before or during the circle.

The circle was called (at least twice) and the circle then got under way. Various hashers were called up for down-downs including many visitors. I recall one was from Darwin and one was Elbows neighbor. A WCH3 hasher claimed one runner was stopping cars to check if they were on the way to the drink stop.
Some Perth Hashers formed their own circle near the PH3 bucket. Birdman graciously kept an eye on the PH3 beer whilst the circle was in progress.

Surprisingly the circle was short by H4 standards (maybe BB had an influence).
Then after an application of dermatitis inducing goober on our hands we tucked into Colonel’s Fried Chicken & chips with homemade curry salad (it was very nice salad) from the kitchen of Crayfish.

Another great night of hashing in Perth.

On On

Run 2683 – FT in Craigie

FTs Rainbow Worriers run in the far north with the Mole

Chunda had a shit of a day. Found out the clutch had gone on my
four by and then followed by my lawn mower not firing up. That set the
tone of the day for I needed some form of resuscitation. Luckily a
ride was forthcoming courtesy of Elbows and Haggis. Even more luck
followed by the ugly looking inclement weather which meant because I
didn’t have any wet weather protection I would get wet. Luckily it
meant that I could enconse myself in the bucket and sample that
wonderful Margaret River Stout and Guiness of which I had 4 before the
boys got back. Thanks Xmas. Lucky me.

Thirty two turned up 20 walkers and the rest runners.
FT had the foresight to hand each group a copy of the run because
within minutes the heavens opened up washing out the trail. It was
quite a long run about 7.8 kms long with 14 F/Ts with a drink stop and
water melon offered. Lucky me there was no stout offered.

Highlight of the circle was Xmas’s joke

Another highlight was Action getting his 40 year Mug
Also Crayfish reached 34 years Hashing

Food was excellent. Delicious coleslaw and corn beef in a bun.

And I finished up with 7 beers for the night.
Lucky me. On On. Chunda

Run 2682 – Run for a Reason 2021

Run for a Reason 2021
This year’s hares were West Coast for the real hash and Bullsbrook for the walkers. A larger than anticipated Perth contingent assembled at Britannia reserve in Mount Hawthorn. I counted about 30 of our boys plus the strange one. All in all a big turnout of about 120 hashers from 8 clubs came to support this year’s charity, HELPING MINDS. Perth’s contribution totalled over $350 so a very good, kind, effort.
The run was expected to be tough, and it was. The trail took us up to the Mt Hawthorn shopping carpark and beyond towards Charles Very-hard (aka Veryard) park in North Perth for a drink stop and then almost directly back downhill to the On On. The hares made good use of the local backlanes and drive throughs with many switchbacks and false trails. In fact the trail and the FRBs pace proved too difficult for the slower runners that a split occurred within 3km. The run was clocked at 7.5km and an hour for the FRBs.
After taking refreshments, the circle was called and as is regularly, it was chaotic but thankfully short despite H4’s best off-key efforts. Before we knew it, the hamper raffle was drawn (SIR KNOB won the main prize), and each club sang their anthem before closing the proceedings.
Our dinner was organised by CRAYFISH who negotiated a deal with the local Subway manager, whose descendants were from the subcontinent. To Crayfish’s surprise, we got what we asked and paid for! Plenty of food!
Too bad the grog ran out, once again, so we couldn’t wash it down. Why is it so difficult to overcater our grog requirements, so often?
On oN

Run 2680 Another Pr1ck in Nedlands

Haggis didn’t do the right thing and didn’t submit a run write up so this brief note from MOSES. Thanks Moses.

About 30 Hashmen gathered at a regular very convenient spot in arctic conditions to start with a chill factor of note.
By the time the food was on, the gale had ceased and it was rather pleasant tepid conditions.
The running group that finished the trail numbered just 6 with Tickler and Biggles telling us that there were plenty false trails. The four saw heaps of checks and about 2 FTs so concluded there were too few.
Pretty good run with lots of chalk and flour.
8km and 1hr9min for the four and another1 km for Biggles and FT

Run 2681 – Haggis in Shelley

Run 2681 – Haggis in Shelley Park
A good location for a run. Haggis said he spent three and a half hours setting the run on his own so it promised to be a long one. Map below, provided by Moses, showing where the runners went.
The Walkers thought the trail well marked and crossed Leach Highway by the bridge and continued down through interesting territory and crossed back at the lights at High Road almost opposite home taking right on the hour. Unfortunately the runners ran past the trail over the bridge and ended up running as long retracing the outward trail.
Back at the bucket there were individual bowls of biscuits, cheese and olives a plenty for 38 hashers on a very pleasant evening.
Emu did an excellent job, with little notice, as stand in RA, Nanny having gone down with Man Flu.
Food was delicious pasta and bolognese sauce.

Run 2679 – Colonel in City Beach

Run 2769 – Colonel in City Beach
On a nice and sunny day with temperatures at a pleasant level until the sun decided to move below the horizon a large pack of hashers gathered at the Ocean Village Shopping Centre car park in City Beach. Indeed we got to see more of the City then of the Beach.
We were released not far after 6 pm on a well marked trail, apparently ably set by Twitch (Colonel’s dog) with the help of Colonel and Budgie. Despite the excellent markings and the unique check markings there always seem to be people who wander of trail and get lost. In this case it was Scumbag who found himself detached from the pack, but was able to get back at the On On before the circle and food.
The runners pack must have set a new record as it concerns participants, I counted at least more than a dozen. So an excellent turn-out. As mentioned the trail was well marked and meandered through City Beach (unable to list the street names as the map provided showed the trail covered in a 10 cm2 area), I believe more uphill then downhill as every street had a at least one hill. We only sighted the ocean on one occasion but the beach was behind the dunes so unable to see any chicks around. Some in the pack complained that there were not enough false trails (note: likely for the obvious reasons that it saves the hares from walking them), but all in all it was an excellent run.
It took the runners, with the exception of Scumbag, approx. 45 minutes to cover the 5.5 – 6 km run and several hundred meters of climbing, a great effort. Most of the walkers were already back near the bucket by that time.
After the chippies the circle was called with some returners (Triple J, Antman, ..), Birdman and Mumbles for posts in the newspapers and Colonel for knowing the difference between yellow and red bins (colourblind?). There may have been others but I did not pay attention. The hash songs came from Gumby’s catalogue (better to say paper snippets).
Food served by Colonel was bun, burger, salad, (plastic) cheese and the lot. Well received and no left over.
With a score of 9.1 issued by RA the hares were well rewarded. I enjoyed the run, good job by Twitch, Colonel and Budgie
Another Prick in the Wall.
PS: I promise there won’t be as many hills in next week’s run.
PS2: only two (2) PHHH signs handed over, the third one may be missing in action unless recovered by Colonel later in the evening.

Run 2678 – Phantom in Claremont


While thinking about how to summarise the run I stumbled on an underling theme which I am surprised Dickie being a bit of a clairvoyant had not picked up on ,however bearing in mind he did have trouble finding the venue being in the Western Suburbs so he was a little confused , the theme, considering the seniorority of the hares , the route took us past the Ghost Ride, The Covid Clinic the into Karrakatta Cemetery , scary stuff.

Getting back to the run a reasonable size pack met at a very good location plenty of light and cover , pack set off on a scenic tour of the Showgrounds, they became a little unsettled as hash hound Twitch did the mandatory poo amongst them, in their haste to vacate the area they disappeared up some well set false trails, then headed up past the Clinic before losing the tail for a short while outside the ground.Run. then took us through the Cemetery parts of Claremont before returning to the heart of THE MIGHTY FIGHTING TIGERS.

Have got little information regarding the performance of the runners as my contact FT failed dismally, however being a noted shortcutter , he would have little information regarding the run anyway. In hindsight a very poor choice.

The circle was very entertaining with Gumby in fine form, lots of laughs, mainly at Chunders expense ,in summary a very good run , excellent food, a good time was had by all.

To keep Phantom happy, I failed to mention the hares by name could you add at the bottom,” Well done Hares Phantom and Sir Knob”
On On

Run 2677 – Barcode in Kalamunda

BARCODE and Family The Kalamunda Hillbillies
It,s a long drive for the Chardonnet set from the Western Suburbs and was made longer by the fact that our regular passenger , BOTAK ,was not at the pick up spot .We phoned to find out that he lost track of time –a sign of Old Timers disease . to his credit he did turn up and join us at around 6:10 – [editor’s note! 5:10 may be the correct time?]
Anyway we arrived with 5 minutes to spare to the freezing climate of the hills . After a great loop of the Oval and environs the pack ,including Walkers ,arrived back on Canning Rd.The runners went one way and the Walkers short cut to the Shopping Centre where we followed various lanes ,arcades and false trails to Stirk Pk
At this point PEMBOs pooches thought a swim in the swamp was a good idea-not . Then Dickie and Colonel did a 360 on the slippery park and the Running Pack caught up with us .Over Kalamunda Rd and into the bush where we found evidence of PEMBO again -Arrows painted on ground – and the pack then took off downhill .We slower chaps headed for home arriving at 7PM whereas the runners showed up about 25 mins later.
A well set run with lots checks and good false trails (as expected )but probably a trifle long for our aging runners (except Q )
At the ONON we were graced with other locals like DAVE the POM and SEAGULL but the standout was the ageing Nat Fyfe look alike -ARISTOCAT Talk about trying to stay Young
Several Birthday cartons appeared -Wagon Guinness and Cans assorted Old English Ales -Hope didn’t miss anyone
Finally the food Very tasty triage of chicken /beans /curry and rice
A few more beers and back to civilisation –Glad I wasn’t driving home

Run 2676 – Skid in Palmyra

Skidding out on the Highway to Hell – Take 2
2020 saw the Highway to Hell Festival in Perth, tens of thousands of people lined Canning Highway for an event for the ages – would the 17th of August 2021 be the same? Well, there wasn’t quite thousands, but certainly 40 odd keen participants who gathered between the banks of our beautiful river and the curbs of the renowned Canning Highway.
After watching the typical back and forth and round and round of the bucket trying to park (I’ve seen semi-trailers fit into tighter spaces with less effort), and after a somewhat rowdy on on a group of a dozen or so runners headed off for the inevitable loop around Tompkins Park. Alas, this is where it started to come undone, half the pack, led by FT and Q, in an effort to short cut, tried to leap frog the more responsible runners (led by Barcode) but simply achieved the bypassing of a critical false trail. So while the Barcode team headed east along a loooooong and boring stretch of trail aside the river, FT and his mob decided to “go west young man” and do the run in reverse – I know those of the Gaulish decent are known for some level of oddity (driving on the wrong side of the road for a start) this really took the cake – or gâteau if you prefer.
Moving on…….when we did finally move away from the mighty Swan the trail took us somewhat predictably south up Wireless Hill where we passed FT, Q and Another Prick in the Wall heading in the wrong direction. When we finally did reach the summit however, despite searching for several minutes, the trail was lost to us. A vote was called and given the time, the clear consensus was to find the way down the hill and back to the bucket. Down the hill was not that simple though given Barcode decided to lead his dedicated followers down a goat track of sorts; but despite the incessant grumblings of Moses all made it safely to firmer ground, with even the evergreen Pitt making it through unscathed.
The circle issued its standard down downs for returnees, birthdays and anniversaries before the On Sec Ramrod delivered easily the joke of the decade to date, the hilarity was so immense Ramrod lost all composure only part way into the gag having to read lines between bouts of schoolgirl giggling. Sherlock took to the podium to once again highlight the casual and institutional racism which continues to permeate all levels of society. Polly’s rigged raffle was held and Stewie astonishingly not only had the winning ticket, but also drew the Joker!! Looking forward to a father son lunch at the pub Stewie, obviously your shout.
Nanny then did what Nanny does best, shout non-sensical stuff at people and incite roars of derision. He attempted to back up Ramrod’s excellent oratory with a joke of his own, how did it go? – FLAT – AS – A – PANCAKE. The hares were eventually called up and issued a near perfect score by the RA, astounding given half the runners lost the trail somewhere near the mid-point and the other half did the run backwards. The peaceful and affluent residents of Alfred Cove were then witness to a proud rendition of “We go hashing on a Monday…..” before the pack was treated to an excellent serving of hot, individually wrapped fish and chips.
Well done Skid and Grizzly, perfect weather, solid run and excellent fare. On on. Barcode

Run 2675 – Jack Russell in East Perth

This run had all the signs of a disaster with a storm front passing through although a surprising 33 turned up despite the weather. Would have been 34 but Bushie got lost on the way!!! No shelter, no light and no parking (as the Eagles match at Optus stadium had been moved to 6:10pm and the area was awash with cars). However who said Hashmen can’t get a quart into a pint pot! With some excellent marshalling all the cars were squeezed in one way or another. The van provided light and limited shelter was provided by an gazebo tied to a fence after it had blown away once.
The pack gathered in the dark with the runners set off in one direction and the walkers led by Phantom in the opposite. We went along the river and around Claisebrook and back in record time as Phantom seemed to worry about getting wet. Very pretty lighting effects to entertain the troops. Back at the bucket after about 35-40 minutes we found the runners who had lost the trail in the dark and wet. See the attached map below to find where you should have gone.
Everyone got stuck into the ration amidst complaints of “no dark stout”. This was because of the large amount of other beer returned from a fortnight ago. Have no fear there will be some next week. After the circle and food (plenty of excellent pizzas) the heavens opened with the rain trying to fall horizontally. The pack brought a new meaning to social distancing huddled under the gazebo in the space not taken up by a table and resembled a group of penguins in perpetual motion- those on the weather side constantly trying to move to the centre or the lee. Once that stopped we packed up and moved out (again expertly extracting the vehicles) before the spectators at Optus came back to their cars. We didn’t know that they were prevented from leaving because of the threat of lightning.
It was a great night despite the conditions. Well done Jack Russell and Moses you turned a disaster into a success under very difficult circumstances.. On On. by Ramrod (only because Skid is too slack to provide a write-up)