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Run 2726 – Ramrod – De Lacy Reserve, Maylands

Ramrod & Sir Tom Arse at Maylands

De Lacy Reserve Maylands

Out of town on Guildford Road

Right on Peninsula Road

Straight at roundabout

Left on Richard Street (sign posted)

First right on Hillside Crescent, LFF.

Pre-run

The night threatened to be wet, cold and nasty and it was. The hare, Ramrod, told us the run was set with chalk which had mostly washed away by the storms. The runners were given a map (your scribe had that one) and the walkers a remarkably similar map.  Q commandeered the map I had because he said he has better eyesight than me (that is correct).

The run

We set out around the oval here two hounds immediately broke rank and ran the opposite direction to the peloton. Sanity soon prevailed and they re-joined us.

At the corner of Richard Street & Swan View Terrace there was some discussion as to where we actually were as the paper map only had a few street names on it. The walkers arrived and told us we were going the wrong way. Bugger they were probably correct. So we ran up Swan View Terrace, instead of Caladonian Avenue where the chalk was laid. No problem we eventually arrived at Corner of Margaret Street and Caledonian where there was a discussion on which way to go and where is Kathleen Avenue (where I lived as a bachelor). The walkers arrived and joined in the discussions. Mr Walker asked ‘Where are we?’. I stated the obvious, but that wasn’t what Mr Walker wanted to hear. The paper map only had a few streets marked on it so keeping in contact with the map was difficult. Keeping in contact with the map is fundamental in not getting lost on a 24 hour Rogaine sometimes in thick bush.

At Seventh and East Streets Rumpole took over navigating for the remaining 4 runners and lead them away from the Maylands Yacht Club in spite of being the most experienced sailor amongst us (apart from me who has skippered 42 foot Yachts on the Whitsundays in Queensland and British Virgin Islands in the Caribbean). I saw arrows and turned around called out ‘on back’ & ran down towards the Maylands Yacht Club Inc. and found chalk on the way.

Just before the Maylands Yacht Club I found trail in the Cycle way (PSP) heading east. Looking at the paper map in the light of the day (actually it is the light of the night), I now see that the trail went on the street north of the cycleway. I must have run on a false trail.

I eventually ran back to the bucket across the oval, clocking 5.70 km in 01:02:06 hours approximately. I was offered a Scotch whisky, cheese, and biscuits as well as the ubiquitous crisps.

The Circle

Pembo called the troops to attention and started the circle. I was given a down-down and accused of being a marathon man. He then told a joke about a husband and wife in the upstairs shower. The doorbell rang so the wife hopped out of the shower, wrapped herself in ta towel and went downstairs and opened the door. There was the neighbour who immediately took control of the situation and said, ‘If you drop that towel I’ll give you $800.’ The wife thought about that for a few micro-seconds and dropped the towel. The neighbour (I think it was Elbows) said my you have a lovely body and then reached into his pocked and pulled out the $800 and gave it to her. She went back upstairs and her husband said ‘who was that’, she replied ‘Elbows, our neighbour’. He said ‘Great, did he give you the $800 he promised to repay me today?’.

Birthdays

There were a few more down-downs for birthdays etc. Not sure who but these are the August birthday boys:-

Colonel (76)

Jack Russell (57)

Polecat (73)

Emu (75)

Flasher (69)

In case you were not paying attention the July Birthdays were:-

Soft Top (52)

Wagon (75)

Mastitis (57)

Lasagna (68)

French Tickler (69)

Dick Tracy (76)

Dick Tracy (76)

Pembo (67)

Prairie Dog (64)

Barcode (44) Ed. merely a youngster!

Haggis (71)

Reluctant (59)

Sir Knob was called to be the stand-in RA

He recounted the time early in his parliamentary career when he was door knocking and was confronted by a near naked constituent. He was looking forward to the next encounter and  sadly it was never repeated in the rest of his parliamentary career.

He gave the run a 9.16 out of 10 but raised it to 10 due to the appalling weather -what was Grizzly doing?

Great run site, lights, shelter, parking – it had it all.

Nanny led us out with ‘What do we do on a Monday?’

Food

The food was plentiful and not just because of the low numbers. It was tasty rice and curry.

WBDFQ


On ON

Bushie

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Run 2636 – Scumbag @ Hamer Park

A GLORIOUS EVENING IN MOUNT LAWLEY

A large pack convened at Hamer Park in spite of the instructions and lack of a sign until 5:50 when the pack had assembled.  Folks looking for North from the South were disappointed as it is called Longroyd from Lawley Street.

The horn was blown to get the attendance list done and the pack away and the Hare from Lala land was elsewhere on the planet.  A belligerent arrival and a brisk on-on had us away through the burbs, not crossing Walcott or into ECU, A good start.  Arrows, checks and FTs plentiful.  We use Ps at HHH but not Scummy; he uses arrows.   There were enough of them.

We crossed Alexander Drive, used laneways rather well and came up through the back of Angove. This was good running territory.

Thereafter we crossed back over Fitzgerald and now the smallish pack disintegrated.  At this stage, there were seven of us left. We got across Walcott together and remained on trail until we are asked to turn right at Queens when on Clifton Street. By then Gumby had called enough and Bushy and Moses, thought the extra loop to the East a luxury,

The four who decided to go on must have lost trail and added a stack as Gnocchi had 9.4km and Moses only 7, with Q somewhere in between.

All said a pretty good run; the hamburgers were really terrific after a long spell of Covid suited food and this author would say something over 8 was an appropriate score.

Well done Scummy and Antman.

(Written by Moses).

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50th Anniversary Parliament House run photos

The Premier of Western Australia, Mark McGowan MLA, speaks to the hash chapters of Perth on the steps of Parliament House.

Mark McGowan MLA, on the steps of Parliament House addressing the gathered hashers (from the many chapters in greater Perth area). The Premier spoke about the benefits of running hash and commented that he has known Eric Ripper, former leader of the Labor Party, known to us as ‘Sir Knob’ for over 25 years. He went on to say he has never seen Eric looking better so Hash must be benefitting him.

The Premier then called ‘On on that way’ and depending where you where standing it was either to the left or to the right, showing that Hash is apolitical.

The Premier of Western Australia, Mark McGowan MLA, addresses the Hash on the steps of Parliament House.
GM greets Premier of WA
Perth Hash 2020 GM, Max ‘Horse’ Hore, meets and greets the Premier of Western Australia.
Is that chalk for marking the run asked the Premier?
Polly, On Sec of Perth Hash, gets to talk next.
Hmmm…which way does the run go, ‘to the left’?
Wagon & Cans.
Hamersley Hash have a photo opportunity with the Premier.
The Premier asks Sir Knob about the benefits of joining Perth Hash.
The signing of the Perth Hash T-Shirts.
Hashers of Perth.
What time does the run start?
Last opportunity to view the Perth Hash ‘Beer Bus’.
Great food was (self) served.
It wouldn’t be a joint run without Hamersley Hash! And South of Perth Hash House Harriers.
Sir Knob, RA of Perth Hash, addressing the hashers.
Our Chief Tugger, Rumpole, enjoying a small drink.
Meanwhile whilst the runners where hitting the streets the GM and On Sec (and St Peter, a founding member along with Cans who both ran on run #1 on 16/02/1970) were posing with the Premier of Western Australia, Mark McGowan MLA.

We understand ‘Sarge’ from the Perth Harriettes convinced the Premier to don the 50th Anniversary Perth Hash House Harriers T-Shirt for the photo opportunity.

Run 2807 – Grizzly & Colonel at Herdsman Lake.

Run 2807 – Grizzly & Colonel at Herdsman Lake.

The Grizz dealt himself a poor hand with a forecast 43 degree day and at 6 o’clock the mercury was still 34 and humid. Despite this there was a great turnout of hashmen with 16 runners and at least the same number of walkers plus a couple of hardy hounds.
The run itself was relatively short at 5km with a drink-stop at about the 3km mark serving up ice-cold beers, water, and watermelon – good job! The trail was marked with chalk and some innovative symbols plus good use of back lanes. Your scribe and about half the runners lost the trail at Grantham street on the return resulting in a short-cut back to the bucket and only 4.5km. A generous score of 9.1 was awarded by the new RA (Nanny).
Pitt called his first circle as the new On Sec with not only the podium but a rather precarious support tower alongside (refer to photos)…alls well that ends well! Crayfish gave an excellent tribute in memory of Growie (Terry Grocock) followed by a minutes silence. Christmas told a funny joke, possibly not in the bible, about a jewish man named Moses having a collection of foreskins turned into a fashion accessory…Moses didn’t seem overly impressed.
Nanny was excited to make his grand entrance as RA and Colonel is already counting down the weeks.
Dinner was preceeded with home-made chinese dumplings, courtesy of Mrs Grizz, followed by tasty silverside on fresh buns with tomato, beetroot, and sauces/mustard. Very nice, not to mention very few dishes for next week’s hare (me, haha).
On On
Prairie Dog (aka PD)

 

Ed. Refer to our closed group Facebook for photos.

Perth Hash House Harriers | Facebook

Run 2806 – AGPU. Perth Polo Club, Meadow St, Guildford Hares Emu & Moses

2024 AGPU

On a near perfect evening, a somewhat disappointing roll up of 37 hashers including 15 runners, 4 or 5 dogs and 2 visitors assembled at the lush landscape of the now renamed Kings Meadow Polo Ground. But the night did not disappoint with many highlights.

This venue really is a plane spotting haunt disguised as the vast playing field for the aristocracy. After such a brutal Perth summer, the vivid greenness of the vista was supported by a sprinkler so large that an irrigator on the Hay plains in NSW would be proud to own.

The venue was not boring with a constant passage of arrivals on RWY21 at 600ft as seen with an Emirates A380 early on during the run although the late passing of the Qatar version at nights end did go unnoticed by all but thee.

It was surprising the RA did not pause during his sermon from the milk crate as each aircraft roared by overhead, so all his words were audible with such parliamentary and media experience in a past life.

The biggest highlight and most unexpected during the 35° – 33° event was the inaugural running of the 2024 AGPU Stakes. Seagull taking the lead in the final 100m halfway across the polo field only to be taken over the concluding stages in the run to the winning post by Q who got in light not being a handicap race. Sadly, this all went barely noƟced by most of the walkers and the remaining runners spread out like Brown’s Cows over the green fields.

After the awards were distributed and new committee sworn in with another garish blue shirt fit for a Hamilton Island Regatta or the canals at isle of Capri on the Gold Coast. The few attendees left standing were able graze upon a well catered for Asian feast without the intimidation of the usual 2nds’ eaters behind them like big 4WD’s at City Beach carpark on a hot day.

This was all enjoyed after the generosity of the Grey Ghosts committee of a free drink to all who bothered to appear. Yay…

Well done to Emu & Moses, Horse and committee.

On a lighter note, don’t expect such comforts next week.

Even lighter is thanks to the 2023 committee for a brilliant job and the most enlightening edition of the Hash Annual.

See you next week at Herdsman Reserve.

OnOn
Grizzly

Run 2805 Sir Tom Arse and Chunda – Glengarry Park

 

Sensational weather for a Monday night when the temperature is going to leap to 41° by end of week.   A group of 40 pitched up and, of these, there were 18 runners.

The Hares, with 100 years of experience between them, though unlikely to be flexible or open to new ideas delivered a damned fine run, probably breaking records for the number of FTs.   The best comment of the night asked for a few arrows telling us where to go instead of some of the FTs telling us where not to go.

Run pace dictated by APITW, Q, Soft Rock, Emu, and Prairie Dog, down to Moses and Pitt at the other end, with distance covered 8½km for APITW down to 7.1km for the Moses group.  An hour and 5 minutes.

The Circle was the prompt affair it has been all  year with this committee.  The OnSec left it to his last week to deliver his worst joke of the year [By miles and OnSec note that there is no defence for misdemeanours at HASH]

Tea was ideal – silverside in abundance on good buns with coleslaw and chutney or mustard

Visitors – two neighbours/mates of the Hare.

Regret did not note the remainder of outpourings at the Circle and the weekly rant will need to provide those details.

Top night again.

 

Run 2803 – Action & Soft Rock @ Millington Reserve, Karrinyup

Fortunately for me, my memory is still relatively good and when I observed that hard rock-kicker Action had engaged soft rock-kicker Soft Rock to co-hare the run, I became suspicious as to the REAL reason for this seemingly-obvious liaison. For a small ‘consideration’ my very good mate, Dick Tracy, agreed to do a bit of detective work on the basis of my suspicion.
Dickie’s report, provided after payment of the normal ‘consideration’ charged by the Constabulary, confirmed my suspicion that Action, although absent ‘in the field’ at the time, had heard of Soft Rock’s huge success in setting his virgin run in Mosman Park some time ago. Being determined to have Emu score Action’s run above 9/10 this week, he had bribed Soft Rock to be his Consultant and co-hare.
Action’s objective was subsequently achieved and I believe that Action has told Soft Rock that “the cheque is in the mail”. However, based on the normal performance of Australia Post these days, I suggest that Soft Rock shouldn’t hold his breath whilst waiting for it.
It was, in fact, an excellent run with a pack of about 40 Hashmen – more like 100 when used cups and plates had to be cleaned later –  turning up at Millington Reserve which is next to and perilously close to St. Mary’s Anglican Girl’s School. At 1800 hrs. and after minimal instructions from Action, the pack was told to f-off.
About 18 runners took off in the general direction of the Girl’s School, no doubt with hopeful and salacious thoughts in mind, only to be thwarted by the Hares’ anticipation of the average Hashman’s normal evil intent, when so close to some ‘fresh stuff’, when the trail turned to the right into the bush, some steep hills and some interesting geological structures.
A good quantity of false trails and checks kept the pack reasonably well together with a well-set, back-check allowing the stragglers, such as Lasagne and me, to join the pack as it headed up Jeanes Rd. and into the Karrinyup suburbia. More false trails and checks kept the pack fairly well together until, after about 45 minutes of running/walking, we hit the on-home that took us back into the park where Elbeaux was delighted to observe a female, well, most of them anyway, football team training on the oval.
Being a generous man, Action welcomed us with a hors d’oeuvres of cured sausage and bikkies which was just as well since our purveyor of potato crisps, Pitt, had been let down by his supplier, Crayfish, and as Pitt didn’t have sufficient to give all present a packet, he wouldn’t issue any to prevent the occurrence of a lynching in a public place.
With the On-Sec still being AWOL, appeasing Mrs. On-Sec by taking her on a holiday, a cheap one, as told to me, GW2, Phantom to the illiterate, ran the circle – awarding down-downs to:
•    Visitors: Connor from Canada
•    Returnees – Reluctant, Polecat and Budgie
•    Miscreants: Crayfish for no crisps, Elbeaux for clamouring for a DD just to get free beer and also for his part in the recent Western Power, power failure debacle.
•    Wilson Parking award – Ramrod ….again.
GW2 told an old but good joke about the chook farmer who kept being provided with what he thought were poofter roosters and then he handing the milk crate over to Emu who, apparently suffering from brain-fade, seemed to forget all about his mates, the Muzzies.
Emu commenced with a promise not to get into the commies in our ranks – and elsewhere – and then being bereft of anything more to say, told us about a conversation between a Yank and an Aussie in a bar resulting in the Aussie informing the loud-mouth yank that the bubblegum he was chewing was made from used and recycled Aussie frangers before awarding the Hares 9.2 for the run to popular acclaim.
The pack then formed the semblance a queue at the food table to enjoy Action’s con carne, gourmet delight – obviously good as it was all eaten with some Hashmen testing the length of their tongues by trying to lick the pot clean. One amazed Hashman commented that “it wasn’t even burnt at the bottom!” The simple reason for that was that the pot belonged to Action.
So ended another Monday evening of Hash frolicking, fun and frivolity.
Well done Action and Soft Rock and thank you to Polly for ordering the booze and driving the Bucket.
On onnnnnnnnn ……… Rumpole

Run 2804 Rumpole and half of PHHH at HBF Stadium Carpark 1

Great weather for a summer run in a familiar territory with a new start location.
There were 45 attendees including visitors Ben Smythe and Raindrops.
Out of sequence but not importance was the most meaningful farewell to and remembering of our mate Ace. 
16 runners headed off. The start at the Southern end of the run did not represent the rest of this run, in three distinct categories. The first did a series of circles before disappearing up itself in knots. Then we had a grand second with great marking pointing to holes in fences, turn offs into bush, piles of sand to run over and a great workout. After the super drink stop with watermelon and beverages, the final third of the run ended up with two packs heading off in two arcs, the left following trail and the right deciding that an hour and twenty was long enough for a run. The difference was 200 m with prairie dog recording 7.8km and Moses 7.6km in 1hr 20 min. The RA awarded a generous 8 for the run, clearly mellowing in his old age
Pizzas were served in honour of Ace and the quality and quantity was spot on.
Another wonderful Monday night at Hash with a tinge of sorrow.
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RUN 2802 – Stewie & Boner in Lesmurdie

41 masochists including a few visitors presented at Falls Road Primary School car park for a 32° 98% humidity run on a track with it all. Honkey nuts, pebble gravel, slopes, sand and creeks to cross.
19 runners headed off for a fairly short but brutal summer run. The plodding group showed metrics at 5.61km with an ascent on the run of 794m. The front-runners were sharing the FTs with their distance probably a km further. A few others saw the light and baled out.
The 11% stretch right at the end shows neatly on the graph as do the sections of flat (there weren’t any).
At the circle, there were concerns for the health of two and four legged attendees. Dozer had a laydown panting heavily and the GM was more than blood red. All were well though and after a fine circle and a perfect summer meal of quiche with salads breads and more followed by a fruit dessert, a nice touch to finish. Thereafter we returned to the lowlands.
What a magnificent turn out for a sensational run, awarded a valid 9.2 by the RA!
Where else on this planet would you rather have been on a Monday night?

Stewie’s Report Run 2801 – Haggis & Chunda Centenary Park, Wilson

A hot 35 degree day didn’t deter 35 hash men gathering at the surprisingly verdant Centenary Park. (actually a former tip cunningly located next to a river)
Once called to order by the on-sec, Haggis and his debonair co-hare, Chunder, issued instructions to the pack. Despite a lengthy introduction and language barrier the direction was finally pointed out and about 16 runners and 18 walkers set out across and up the northern end of the park to explore the streets between Manning road and Leach Highway.
The run was well marked but with occasional distress being caused by some long gaps between marks. Possibly caused by communication issues between the marking team. Nevertheless the pack generally kept together and were relieved there was not a swim across The Canning River. A near perfect 7.5K and 58 minutes was the result of good planning by the hares.
On arrival at the bucket we were presented with token free whisky, expensive De Bortoli shiraz and fancy sachets of peanuts. Haggis once again setting a high bar for future hares to emulate. (I wont even try)
Once the circle commenced, Sir Knob presented down downs to visitors Connor, a short Canadian late of Hong Kong Hash, Ray who is Sir Tom Arse’s gym carer and the familiar face of Rusty Nuts. Rumpole even joined in with his thimble size tankard.
Thank you for the birthday cartons from Another Prick in the Wall and Dollar Bill. More down downs demonstrated the we have had to endure Scumbag for 28 Years and Grizzly for 6 years.
Ayatollah Emu took over the milk crate to subject the audience to a politically incorrect diatribe of clearly well researched social issues associated with the moslem community. He then issued penalties for a variety of petty excuses to Antman, Prairie Dog, APITW and Grizzly, along with a number of sailing enthusiast. You had to be there to get the unedited stories.
A score of 8.5 was awarded after Emu’s careful evaluation of the event.
Food was a tasty vegetable curry but rather than dwell on the culinary delights of the meal I would note that it is UnAustralian to leave next weeks hare with so much washing up.
Overall a great job, two weeks in a row, by Haggis and Chunder.

On On
Stewie

Run 2800 – Chunda & Haggis in East Vic Park

As next week’s Hare is this weeks Co-hare the scribe will issue a run review.

A humid and therefore sweaty run in a familiar territory but a first time use? of Fraser Park.  Off-road parking was sufficient for the 30 that pitched up and verge parking was plentiful for a full complement.

We gathered for a prompt OnOn and 12 runners went off for a 62 minute run, with Pig Trap the front runner covering more than 7km and the pack, well-kept together by heaps of FTs and great use of every lump and hill Chunda could find, covered 6.1km (see Bushie’s map) and some a smidge more.

Marking had a couple of testers with confusing arrows but there was enough visible chalk.  The RA was duly impressed and awarded an 8.8 for the Hares’ efforts

Dinner was the world famous Chunda speciality – lovely home cooked meat loaf. This was served with with buns tomato beetroot and lettuce.  There was enough food for another 20 Hashmen.  We were advised that the choice of sauces and condiments was exceptional; but these remained in Chunda’s kitchen so beware next year’s Chunda run.

Another top Hash night, best of the year.

The token system was introduced and never has there been a smoother transition.  This is due to the significant efforts of Bushie & Crayfish with support from the GM and OnSec.  Well done Boys.

48 Hashmen paid fees (credit to all0 and the normal culprits are few, fortunately.

Where else could you want to be on this Tuesday night?

Run 2799 Matilda Bay All Clubs – Hare Mr Wong

A very well organised run started at 6;30 ish. Prairie Dog & Moses finishing with the front runners; coming in with Phranger who would have run 2km extras of FTs of which we ran none. There was a super drink stop with beers all the way from 00 to FS + champers + orange or mango juice + water. Very grand and a lot different from previous runs where HHHH and Mr Wong were involved.
Terrific job all. We ran 7.4 km and came in at 7:30 on the nozzle.
The PHHH turn-up was abysmal as expected: Phantom, Sir Knob, Bushie, Prairie Dog, Sir TomArse, Gumby, Moses and Hash Hound.
The location had the full complement of dust and mossies and the scribe is unable to report on the circle as one beer in good company and then home for a feed.
Great Wednesday night at Hash. They deserve praise.

RUN 2797 NANNY & ELBOWS

NANNY & ELBOWS AT GRINDLEFORD RESERVE BALCATTA

11 December.

Today was a sad day for PHHH with the passing of Ace [Howard Smythe] this morning.  Ace was a member for 37 years and we one of our quieter members who was respected by all. He will be missed.

A top slightly warm evening presented and Nanny set a very fine run in familiar territory though with far more development with runners and walkers satisfied.  Elbows presence for setting was in doubt.  The co-hare did, however, man the bucket admirably.

The parking skills of PHHH were again on display with a new show.  APITW managed to need a 6 point turn to get a Corolla in a bay suitable for Dollar’s RAM and after failing he then moved to a forward park on the opposite side of car park.  Ramrod did not disappoint and parked as per always.

About 35 turned up with visitor Putrid.   There were 15 runners tonight with more running on the green stuff with flour in abundances.  When we were on bitumen the marking was ample and easily followed.  Bucket loads of false trails kept bringing the pack together with distance covered 7km for the plodders and something over 8km for the front-runners with Putrid running past our group at least a half a dozen times.

The Circle was a punctual affair with the urgency of getting to bed apparent.

  • Visitor Putrid welcomed back.
  • Birthday – Ringburner 64 with reference to being on squeeze duties. Not OJ.
  • 26 paid.  Name and shame for non-payers before Christmas,
  • Q got a down-down for only charging $20 pm for AI management service. Detail missed.
  • Phantom had a minor misadventure leaving his phone in Uber heading to XMAS lunch
  • Reluctant has our sympathy for a far more significant related event when his keys (all of them) did not accompany him to the lunch and they have not re-surfaced with huge security and cost implications.

OnSec joke concluded that Fitzroy/Brisbane footballers are a lot classier than those from Richmond and Collingwood; though the activity described suggest this starts from a very low base.

RA joke victim with a wayward daughter described paraphrasing what daughter set out when she and boyfriend Mohammad joined the re-elect Albo Committee.

To the run – RA expected nothing less from fundi Nanny and scored a 9.1.

Tea was very fine silverside with salads and mustards on buns and there was planet for the 35 Hashmen.

Where else could you possibly want to be on a Monday night?

 

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