Write Ups and Blogs


Run 2636 – Scumbag @ Hamer Park


A large pack convened at Hamer Park in spite of the instructions and lack of a sign until 5:50 when the pack had assembled.  Folks looking for North from the South were disappointed as it is called Longroyd from Lawley Street.

The horn was blown to get the attendance list done and the pack away and the Hare from Lala land was elsewhere on the planet.  A belligerent arrival and a brisk on-on had us away through the burbs, not crossing Walcott or into ECU, A good start.  Arrows, checks and FTs plentiful.  We use Ps at HHH but not Scummy; he uses arrows.   There were enough of them.

We crossed Alexander Drive, used laneways rather well and came up through the back of Angove. This was good running territory.

Thereafter we crossed back over Fitzgerald and now the smallish pack disintegrated.  At this stage, there were seven of us left. We got across Walcott together and remained on trail until we are asked to turn right at Queens when on Clifton Street. By then Gumby had called enough and Bushy and Moses, thought the extra loop to the East a luxury,

The four who decided to go on must have lost trail and added a stack as Gnocchi had 9.4km and Moses only 7, with Q somewhere in between.

All said a pretty good run; the hamburgers were really terrific after a long spell of Covid suited food and this author would say something over 8 was an appropriate score.

Well done Scummy and Antman.

(Written by Moses).


50th Anniversary Parliament House run photos

The Premier of Western Australia, Mark McGowan MLA, speaks to the hash chapters of Perth on the steps of Parliament House.

Mark McGowan MLA, on the steps of Parliament House addressing the gathered hashers (from the many chapters in greater Perth area). The Premier spoke about the benefits of running hash and commented that he has known Eric Ripper, former leader of the Labor Party, known to us as ‘Sir Knob’ for over 25 years. He went on to say he has never seen Eric looking better so Hash must be benefitting him.

The Premier then called ‘On on that way’ and depending where you where standing it was either to the left or to the right, showing that Hash is apolitical.

The Premier of Western Australia, Mark McGowan MLA, addresses the Hash on the steps of Parliament House.
GM greets Premier of WA
Perth Hash 2020 GM, Max ‘Horse’ Hore, meets and greets the Premier of Western Australia.
Is that chalk for marking the run asked the Premier?
Polly, On Sec of Perth Hash, gets to talk next.
Hmmm…which way does the run go, ‘to the left’?
Wagon & Cans.
Hamersley Hash have a photo opportunity with the Premier.
The Premier asks Sir Knob about the benefits of joining Perth Hash.
The signing of the Perth Hash T-Shirts.
Hashers of Perth.
What time does the run start?
Last opportunity to view the Perth Hash ‘Beer Bus’.
Great food was (self) served.
It wouldn’t be a joint run without Hamersley Hash! And South of Perth Hash House Harriers.
Sir Knob, RA of Perth Hash, addressing the hashers.
Our Chief Tugger, Rumpole, enjoying a small drink.
Meanwhile whilst the runners where hitting the streets the GM and On Sec (and St Peter, a founding member along with Cans who both ran on run #1 on 16/02/1970) were posing with the Premier of Western Australia, Mark McGowan MLA.

We understand ‘Sarge’ from the Perth Harriettes convinced the Premier to don the 50th Anniversary Perth Hash House Harriers T-Shirt for the photo opportunity.

Run 2763 – Elbows in Rossmoyne

We had the Macbeth storm, but no witches. 23 pitched up with the bucket, held up on the Freeway long enough to distress GRIZZLY, but assisted by BUDGIE and Dozer, a frazzled driver parked at 6:00 on the nozzle. The wind and rain was severe until 6:00 until he that parts the waters worked some magic Nine went on a run with a very capable BIGGLES doing a great job of live hare, with some trail surviving. We had canine support with Dozer and Maggie in attendance and Meeka and Malone having more sense, staying home curled up next to the fire. We abbreviated the run somewhat and Q reported 5.5km or so. STEWIE took the 15 or so for a walk and by 7:00 we were all a bunch of happy campers, with just about enough cover for the 23 as we had a few showers come through during the circle.
During the one hour of hashing, both rain and wind ceased and the runners were complaining of overheating.
PEMBO looking dressed for Ascot car parking attendance duties could not stay away as he did not want any Hashmen eating without alcohol bathed hands. That is dedication. As a result he had to get to work at 5:30 on Tuesday. Good job Pembo.
The run. ELBOWS had a Polish cat of aristocratic heritage as co-hare with HAGGIS on bucket duty. The Hon. RA produced a score of 10.1 but being forgetful he failed to consider the deductions to be applied: Cover insufficient – 0.06; Hare constant interruptions and arguing black and blue due to failing memory – 0.45 and the doozie – forgetting the chips – 0.5.
Energetic ELBOWS provided the food from the local take-away and a piping hot individually packaged lasagne with garlic bread, all delicious and plentiful with a starter of olives and cheese satisfied the small but dedicated group. The Western Suburbs were not up to any representation. Tut-tut.
On on. MOSES

Run 2762 – Moses in Dianella

HARE: Moses. Co HARE: Jack Russell. On a friggin’ cold and bleak night and expecting the worst from the weather, 30+ intrepid hash souls gathered at Breckler Park Dianella. With Moses as Hare we expected a long but good run and evening. No disappointments yet but it was early with plenty of scope for problems.
First was that Moses insisted on parking the bucket, which is about 3m high, under a 2.5m high tree. That sorted we gathered in the bleak gloom with all seeking their household fires (ref: Thomas Hardy’s “Commonplace Day”)and realised that some of our finest were missing. Turns out they were at a birthday bash for Grandad/Larry/Looselips at his restaurant. Ooo..kay! (Why on a Monday night?)
Off on the run after Moses delivered the sermon from the mountain top (No flour, all chalk, now bugger off). About even numbers of runners/walkers which augured well. Walkers ably led by Stewie or so the pack thought until we realised he had disappeared without anyone noticing. All corrected by flashlight in the very dark and early gloom. A good solid walk right around the golf course plus some, very hilly and the full hour. The walkers were joined by Haggis very early cos the run looked too tough and the weather too Scottish.
The runners set off well and apparently separated early with Pitt and Polecat thinking independently of the pack but all getting in almost on time. They win the Viagra Award for the week for failing to keep up. Again the full hour loop without too many hills after going though suburbia, parks and bush reserves. Pretty good run with some long stretches but still dry if bloody cold even after all hashers mentioned they were sweating from the run. Good to see Grizzly back running after his accident.
Into the circle:
Visitor: Long Balls ex Carnarvon and Ding ex Hamersley who skived a beer and then went into the local clubrooms for a meeting.
Returnees: Gumby apparently.
Birthdays: Lasagna (Zero alcohol beers for a Dry July. Brave!) and Pembo (Guinness) Thanks blokes.
Down Downs were awarded for things I can’t remember or read cos I wrote them in the dark without my glasses but Haggis figured prominently because of the Scots/Edinburgh influence and Hon Sec’s singing in a foreign tongue. Gumby managed to come up with a different D/D song for each offender. Antman also scored one then tried to atone by offering Castelli wines for sale to benefit the club. Good stuff too. Speak to him directly for those.
The Hon Sec then managed to find another joke we’d all heard before. Doesn’t seem to matter at our ages, does it?
Emu helpfully pointed out that Nanny had stepped in his own dog’s primary output and both scored a D/D for that.
Biggles won the raffle and failed to draw the joker but scored a bottle of wine for holding the winning ticket.
The hares were awarded 9.24 for their efforts. Well done.
Into the tucker of superb silverside and enormous amounts of mashed potato. Really good effort there and a great night of good company and a few beers. Thanks Moses and Jack Russell. On On. Elbows

Run 2671 – Mastitis in Kingsley

The weather as forecast by BOM and not able to be influenced by Grizzly was meant to be nothing less than dreadful with 35kt winds and heaps of showers. It certainly kept away the less adventurous Hashmen, with only 25 attendees. The running numbers were abysmal, starting at 7 including the co-hare FT to make sure we did not get lost. As it transpired, most of the chalk (engineer grade white and yellow) survived reasonably well and we may have managed to stay on trail, but appreciated FT’s help. This bod stayed on trail for all of it and did a few less falsies than Q who clocked 8km whilst we all thought it was 7km or a smidge less. We meandered East, heading North towards Shepherd’s Bush Reserve, traipsed through that, checked out Barridale to ensure it had not been washed away, meandered thru the burbs, crossed Balmain and then looped round and back West and then Northwards through the bottle shop and home after a really good run in great running territory. A lot of walking so just under the hour.
Notes: 2 bugles and a horn out of 7. Q was sole front runner, guided by FT, with Nanny, Bushie, Emu, Moses, late arrival Polecat all aided by Meeka and Maggie.
Visitor – Wayne from Bahrain.
Cartons from FT and Soft Top, with Moses taking the down-down for Soft Top having summer in Bodensee.
Mastitis with Co-hare Neon are commended for a great effort, good location change, big effort on setting the trail helped by FT and an excellent miserable weather meal of roast beef with gravy, choice of rolls and coleslaw. Nibbles of cheese and biscuits noted.
RA scored it 9.97. Not a bad sort of a number really.
On On.

Run 2670 – It’s a long way to Tipperary


And a bloody long way from Dawesville to Wembley but I couldn’t resist a run set by the Dynamic duo Crayfish and Bushie, dogs in the car, wet weather gear and we are on our way humming that old tune ‘Stormy Weather‘. Freeways reasonable until Russell rd. and the heavens opened up and the traffic went wild, tailgating and changing lanes, standard fare.

Directions were perfect I arrived early and took Pepper round the oval for a walk, the disadvantaged group were doing skills training under the direction of an old Hamersley hasher Motor Mouth. There was also a colts group and a women’s team under the direction of a lady  who coached a league team, she gave a great exhibition of slipping on her arse and getting wet pants. The blonde with the pony tail won the wet tee shirt competition.

Crayfish and Bushie arrived, out went the placards and slowly they arrived with what was promising you would have to be a dedicated hasher to come and 32 turned up, I stepped into a 6 inch puddle and couldn’t feel my feet, Crayfish gave Motor mouth and myself a Muscat to help fight the cold, loads of dogs, Pembo with twins, Colonel and more , lots of arse sniffing and that was just the owners.  Ramrod arrived, then I heard Budgie from 50 metres away, we are set, hares are worried but its only light showers and they are off. Antman arrives having met a hurdle  before leaving, as old mates we settle down for a long chat, rain gets worse, we huddle under the shelter, soon lots more dogs arrived from lady walkers, one Rhodesian ridgeback tried very hard to get to the rolls.

Rain gets harder, The walkers arrive lead by Phantom and Birdman they all went straight to the Wembley pub now upmarket and made a dent in the beers, a sensible decision. First runner in is FT now surprise there but he may have short-cutted as the the rest of the runners lead by Emu came in at 7.30 pm Emu says 6 km but I checked the map and its more than that well 90 minutes is along run. Circle starts and then the storm, lightning, huge gusts of wing [over 90 kph] and buckets of rain we huddle round the heater. Ramrod carries on with the circle I get a down down, Sir Knob 5 years, Mastitis I think for working for Pfizer and not getting us any Jabs, all good fun. Crayfish arrives with KFC, chips, coleslaw and rolls and we tuck in Birdman commodores my chair I stay with the fire. I haven’t seen a storm like this for years but its home time on the Freeway normal idiots, home a hot shower and a couple of doubles and all’s well with the world. Top night for the true hashers. 9/10.

On On  Stumbles

Run 2670 – Crayfish in Jolimont

Was it Ace’s run? Or was it Crayfish’s run? Turned out to be Crayfish’s run in place of Ace’s run as Crayfish’s run was cancelled last week due to COVID restrictions. Whatever. At the Wembley footy oval. ???
Weather was atrocious on the drive to the run, and everyone was getting prepared for a downpour during the evening. The hardcore runners, walkers and dogs set off in different directions. Well, maybe the dogs stayed near their owners (nobody else will).
The larger group – the walkers – were happy that the rain stayed away long enough for us to find the Wembley Hotel, where we imbibed in a beer and considered whether we used to be drinkers with a running problem, or whether we had got over the problem. The jury is still out. A light sprinkle on the way home, beating the deluge that was to come later.
A small group of about 10 runners led by live-hare Bushie went for a trot on a soaked trail with very little chalk to start with. Amazingly later in the run we saw not only chalk but flour too.
As it was, when the runners found themselves in a deluge and with a decision to either turn left into Subi and go for a Guinness or turn right and head home via Hay/Underwood . . . five went directly and four to Subi.
They got back after 45 minutes and 20 minutes later the heros comprising Pitt, Bushie, Triple and Emu arrived back at the Circle. Honourable mentions Stumbles came up specially for the run and Gumbie sang us some cheer. Ramrod gave himself a down down for telling the Circle that Ace’s run is in Booragoon next week. IT’S NOT – IT IS MASTITIS’ RUN IN KINGSLEY!
The shelter was adequate, the fire was terrific and the Kentucky Fried Chicken, chips and coleslaw were well received while the squalls came through. Great run in the circumstances. Got a nine point nine and a bit. Still haven’t worked out the scoring criteria.
Rained all the way home.

On On. Mastitis (with help from Moses)

Run 2670 – Crayfish in Wembley – 28/06/2021 Cancelled

Your Perth Hash 2021 committee have decided to cancel Monday 28/06/2021 run due to COVID-19 restrictions imposed by the WA State Government.

We thank you for your understanding of the PH3 Committee’s endeavor to balance our enjoyment of Perth Hashing with your safety.

Run 2669 – Joint Winter Bonk Run set by FT @ Mount Hawthorn

Run# 2669—Joint Winter Bonk Run at Britannia Reserve, Mount Hawthorn.

The hashers from Perth Hash, Bullsbrook Hash & West Coast Hash gathered in the car park at Britannia Reserve as the temperature dropped towards the forecast 4 degrees Celsius. For some reason the PH3 bucket was parked near a large puddle of water.

There were dramas earlier in the day when Ryan from Glendalough Liquor Store (now called Celebrations at Glendlough) emailed our On Sec, Ramrod, with this message ‘Somehow overnight the side awning on the bucket has blown our/been pulled out and is totally buggered.  We can’t move the bucket and it can’t be driven as is so will need to be looked at; thanks.’. Ramrod and Polly went to the rescue and removed the awning (apparently it wasn’t an easy task) and Polly took it away for repairs. The bucket was then drivable again, thanks to their efforts.

The run started off very cold with the overnight forecast of 4 degrees Celsius which I am pleased to report was correct as Grizzly may have been involved in the weather forecast.

The next morning my car management system reported that there may be ice on the road and displayed 4 degrees with an ice symbol which reminded me of driving in Italy at the end of December on the way from Paudua to Castelfiorentino (near Florence or Firenze as the Italians call it) when the temperature dropped from 1 degree to -2 degrees Celsius and the windscreen froze over.

The runners (out-numbered by the walkers ) gathered in Britannia Reserve prior to the start rugged up as if they were about to climb Mount Kinabalu in Borneo (Colonel would remember that—we climbed it in 2005).

FT addressed the runners before the start and explained that the run was set with chalk and  flour (what a surprise). What he didn’t add was due to not having a co-hare to vet the run the trail was not always that easy to follow.

Off we went with enthusiasm which quickly waned as we lost the trail time-after-time (not before time mind you). Several times Nanny was summoned so we could examine his map to where the trail went. A map with only some road names on it isn’t always that helpful. The fast FRB from WCH3 run up and down the streets searching for trail which they mostly found. When we got to the corner of Jugan Street & Goody Close we decided to cut our loses and head up the cycleway to the train station and cross over Mitchell Freeway (which was cleverly labelled on the map) on the footbridge & then head north.

Eventually we joined up with the FRB from WCH3 again.

Armed with inside information Bushie called the trail On On behind the Audi showrooms only to find a FRB already on trail there.

The trail was lost (or the hounds were lost) again in Glendalough Open Space. Bushie consulted the map Nanny had and concluded it wasn’t much help. So trail was found again in the traditional way (looking for it) and we galloped off onto Heard Way past Mother Hen Hampers, then south on Ellerby St and over Jon Sanders Drive. Then the trail turned east along Jukes Way, which should have been called Jokes Way, as that is where Nanny decided to head for home. I asked him for the map and took off after the FRB only to run into a FT on Harbourne Street. So your scribe abandoned the trail and ran after Nanny.

We ran down the cycleway next to the Mitchell Freeway (which was labeled on FT’s map). We saw one arrow where we joined the cycleway and then no more at all! Then over the footbridge and On On to home.

Dick Tracy fired up the PH3 gas heater and that attracted the usual crowd.

I took off to pick up the Pizzas and when I returned the circle was under way next to the only puddle in the car park.

Ramrod gave his sermon and called Colonel for reading the newsletter and spotting Ramrod had the date for the run wrong, Haggis for getting himself chips and forgetting his friends –  everyone else, Gumby reckoned FT should be changed to FU for down-downs.

WCH3 & Bullsbrook were invited to sing their hash songs and add to the proceedings.

Then Nanny claimed he didn’t get his time-slot so Ramrod invited him up to the podium. Nanny didn’t hold back on his critique of the run. He may have said (its hard to remember what happened on Monday night several days later) it was a good run that didn’t live up to its potential. Instead of his normal 9.3 he gave it 4.27 (or there-abouts). Nanny gave Budgie a down-down for shortcutting on the walk.

Elbows helped Bushie carry the Pizzas to the meal table then helped himself to a few slices. He was awarded with a down-down for his efforts.

Then the call was ‘foods on’ to which we queued to have our dermatitis inducing ‘goober’ applied to our hands (in the name of COVID-19 busting procedures) before selecting a few (or many ) slices of pizzas from the 7 varieties available.

Great evening, wouldn’t be dead for quids!

On On




(filling in for Crayfish who was on leave in Mandurah).

Note: The run was anti-clockwise (which the majority of runs are).

Run 2668 – Lasagna

Run 2668 – Lasagna, Gnocchi and Dick Tracey

Shelldrake Reserve, Stirling

As was expected … it was a dark and stormy night. Also there was a chill factor to the wind which was far from pleasant, but despite the elements being against us, the pack assembled at the now familiar park in Stirling. Certain members were heard to complain when NO PIZZA TRUCK was visible, but they could always stop in the Golden Triangle on the way home. A pack of 35(ish) Hashmen took off into the elements at about 6:05PM, and were quickly into the groove of the run. False trails and loops were obvious early, and to everyone’s surprise, FT took off over the freeway to find the false trail, and then didn’t stop grumbling until he disappeared off the back of the pack before we even crossed Jones St.

The run was a bit of a marathon taking most of us 1 ¼ Hrs, but the hares managed to keep the pack extremely closely packed most of the time (with the help of a few Hash Halts). With FT hiding, there was a new FRB anointed in Biggles, and he did a sterling job, taking to the checks and false trails often knowingly in the wrong direction, just to keep the pack together. Well done Biggles, who clocked up 11.2 Km’s, at least a Km more than your humble scribe.

On return to Shelldrake Reserve we were treated to individual packs of cheese, biscuits and sausage. Outstanding (on reflection it probably deserves a higher score). The circle degenerated into the usual rabble once the RA was let loose, even to the extent that the pack forgot to introduce me with the club song. Come on team, lift your game. Food followed and there was plenty of it, and very tasty it was. At this point it should be pointed out that the hare should have had points deducted for introducing cake and custard to the assembled masses. He should also have had points deducted for not finishing Nanny’s dortas car that afternoon, instead making her wait until after the hash run was done and dusted. Dorta was not happy and subsequently gave grief to said parent for introducing her to such a time poor mechanic (he does a good job though).

On reflection, of the pro’s and con’s, it has been decided that the run should be elevated in to the stratosphere and be awarded 10.91. This was how a hash run should be set, and even more importantly to the walkers, this is how food should be presented. Well done Lasagna and team, on a great night in difficult weather.

On On


Run 2667 – Rimmer in Warwick

Rimmer and Nanny, Hawker park, North Pole.

Another very cold night as Tripple J said, it’s not the cold, your just not dressed properly.

The pack set off on a very well set run, lots of false trails and a few checks. Didn’t know there were so many hills in warwick. Good use of lanes and parks. About ¾ into the run I got chatting to Bushy, lost trail, and found ourselves on warwick road and back on home.

Put some warm clothes on, Emu was asked to critique the run, very vague but got the job done.

Down downs were given and a new member was named biggles, good on you mate

Good warm food was served, washed down with a COLD beer. Great run, good food.

OnOn Lasagna

Run 2666 – Ramrod in Yokine

Around 40 Hashers turned up at Yokine Reserve for what was rumored to be the best run of the year as the Hares are two of our best, Ramrod and Scummy.

At six sharp the runners were off followed by the walkers, Budgie had Ramrods dug (Dog) on a short lead, “poor dug!” Well, how would you like to be tethered to Budgie on a short lead for an hour?

The walkers were first in, followed by the runners, and believe it or not there were very few complaints from either except for a few runners who (forgot their specs and or torches) got lost. I was told the run was 8.5 km.

When we got back the Bucket was in full flight with its wings out and the outdoor heater going full blast making it a very pleasant place to drink beer. Eventually, Ramrod took to the crate to give us his spiel starting with a welcome to our guest Jeff Mason, then our returnees Neon and Colonel got their down down. Lasagna got a down down for 30 years hashing. Budgie won the raffle but pulled the wrong card from the pack but still went home with a bottle of wine. Ramrod finished with his usual Glasgow joke and as a fellow Scot from neither Glasgow nor Edinburgh I can tell you that Glasgow people are very funny people and good joke tellers. Edinburgh people are not. They are too posh to tell jokes!!!! (Fur coats and nae knickers)

Supper looked very bland, being rolls with corned beef, salad, and relishes, however, it tasted delicious due to the quality of the ingredients and corned beef rolls went down very well with beer.