Write Ups and Blogs


Run 2726 – Ramrod – De Lacy Reserve, Maylands

Ramrod & Sir Tom Arse at Maylands

De Lacy Reserve Maylands

Out of town on Guildford Road

Right on Peninsula Road

Straight at roundabout

Left on Richard Street (sign posted)

First right on Hillside Crescent, LFF.


The night threatened to be wet, cold and nasty and it was. The hare, Ramrod, told us the run was set with chalk which had mostly washed away by the storms. The runners were given a map (your scribe had that one) and the walkers a remarkably similar map.  Q commandeered the map I had because he said he has better eyesight than me (that is correct).

The run

We set out around the oval here two hounds immediately broke rank and ran the opposite direction to the peloton. Sanity soon prevailed and they re-joined us.

At the corner of Richard Street & Swan View Terrace there was some discussion as to where we actually were as the paper map only had a few street names on it. The walkers arrived and told us we were going the wrong way. Bugger they were probably correct. So we ran up Swan View Terrace, instead of Caladonian Avenue where the chalk was laid. No problem we eventually arrived at Corner of Margaret Street and Caledonian where there was a discussion on which way to go and where is Kathleen Avenue (where I lived as a bachelor). The walkers arrived and joined in the discussions. Mr Walker asked ‘Where are we?’. I stated the obvious, but that wasn’t what Mr Walker wanted to hear. The paper map only had a few streets marked on it so keeping in contact with the map was difficult. Keeping in contact with the map is fundamental in not getting lost on a 24 hour Rogaine sometimes in thick bush.

At Seventh and East Streets Rumpole took over navigating for the remaining 4 runners and lead them away from the Maylands Yacht Club in spite of being the most experienced sailor amongst us (apart from me who has skippered 42 foot Yachts on the Whitsundays in Queensland and British Virgin Islands in the Caribbean). I saw arrows and turned around called out ‘on back’ & ran down towards the Maylands Yacht Club Inc. and found chalk on the way.

Just before the Maylands Yacht Club I found trail in the Cycle way (PSP) heading east. Looking at the paper map in the light of the day (actually it is the light of the night), I now see that the trail went on the street north of the cycleway. I must have run on a false trail.

I eventually ran back to the bucket across the oval, clocking 5.70 km in 01:02:06 hours approximately. I was offered a Scotch whisky, cheese, and biscuits as well as the ubiquitous crisps.

The Circle

Pembo called the troops to attention and started the circle. I was given a down-down and accused of being a marathon man. He then told a joke about a husband and wife in the upstairs shower. The doorbell rang so the wife hopped out of the shower, wrapped herself in ta towel and went downstairs and opened the door. There was the neighbour who immediately took control of the situation and said, ‘If you drop that towel I’ll give you $800.’ The wife thought about that for a few micro-seconds and dropped the towel. The neighbour (I think it was Elbows) said my you have a lovely body and then reached into his pocked and pulled out the $800 and gave it to her. She went back upstairs and her husband said ‘who was that’, she replied ‘Elbows, our neighbour’. He said ‘Great, did he give you the $800 he promised to repay me today?’.


There were a few more down-downs for birthdays etc. Not sure who but these are the August birthday boys:-

Colonel (76)

Jack Russell (57)

Polecat (73)

Emu (75)

Flasher (69)

In case you were not paying attention the July Birthdays were:-

Soft Top (52)

Wagon (75)

Mastitis (57)

Lasagna (68)

French Tickler (69)

Dick Tracy (76)

Dick Tracy (76)

Pembo (67)

Prairie Dog (64)

Barcode (44) Ed. merely a youngster!

Haggis (71)

Reluctant (59)

Sir Knob was called to be the stand-in RA

He recounted the time early in his parliamentary career when he was door knocking and was confronted by a near naked constituent. He was looking forward to the next encounter and  sadly it was never repeated in the rest of his parliamentary career.

He gave the run a 9.16 out of 10 but raised it to 10 due to the appalling weather -what was Grizzly doing?

Great run site, lights, shelter, parking – it had it all.

Nanny led us out with ‘What do we do on a Monday?’


The food was plentiful and not just because of the low numbers. It was tasty rice and curry.





Run 2636 – Scumbag @ Hamer Park


A large pack convened at Hamer Park in spite of the instructions and lack of a sign until 5:50 when the pack had assembled.  Folks looking for North from the South were disappointed as it is called Longroyd from Lawley Street.

The horn was blown to get the attendance list done and the pack away and the Hare from Lala land was elsewhere on the planet.  A belligerent arrival and a brisk on-on had us away through the burbs, not crossing Walcott or into ECU, A good start.  Arrows, checks and FTs plentiful.  We use Ps at HHH but not Scummy; he uses arrows.   There were enough of them.

We crossed Alexander Drive, used laneways rather well and came up through the back of Angove. This was good running territory.

Thereafter we crossed back over Fitzgerald and now the smallish pack disintegrated.  At this stage, there were seven of us left. We got across Walcott together and remained on trail until we are asked to turn right at Queens when on Clifton Street. By then Gumby had called enough and Bushy and Moses, thought the extra loop to the East a luxury,

The four who decided to go on must have lost trail and added a stack as Gnocchi had 9.4km and Moses only 7, with Q somewhere in between.

All said a pretty good run; the hamburgers were really terrific after a long spell of Covid suited food and this author would say something over 8 was an appropriate score.

Well done Scummy and Antman.

(Written by Moses).


50th Anniversary Parliament House run photos

The Premier of Western Australia, Mark McGowan MLA, speaks to the hash chapters of Perth on the steps of Parliament House.

Mark McGowan MLA, on the steps of Parliament House addressing the gathered hashers (from the many chapters in greater Perth area). The Premier spoke about the benefits of running hash and commented that he has known Eric Ripper, former leader of the Labor Party, known to us as ‘Sir Knob’ for over 25 years. He went on to say he has never seen Eric looking better so Hash must be benefitting him.

The Premier then called ‘On on that way’ and depending where you where standing it was either to the left or to the right, showing that Hash is apolitical.

The Premier of Western Australia, Mark McGowan MLA, addresses the Hash on the steps of Parliament House.
GM greets Premier of WA
Perth Hash 2020 GM, Max ‘Horse’ Hore, meets and greets the Premier of Western Australia.
Is that chalk for marking the run asked the Premier?
Polly, On Sec of Perth Hash, gets to talk next.
Hmmm…which way does the run go, ‘to the left’?
Wagon & Cans.
Hamersley Hash have a photo opportunity with the Premier.
The Premier asks Sir Knob about the benefits of joining Perth Hash.
The signing of the Perth Hash T-Shirts.
Hashers of Perth.
What time does the run start?
Last opportunity to view the Perth Hash ‘Beer Bus’.
Great food was (self) served.
It wouldn’t be a joint run without Hamersley Hash! And South of Perth Hash House Harriers.
Sir Knob, RA of Perth Hash, addressing the hashers.
Our Chief Tugger, Rumpole, enjoying a small drink.
Meanwhile whilst the runners where hitting the streets the GM and On Sec (and St Peter, a founding member along with Cans who both ran on run #1 on 16/02/1970) were posing with the Premier of Western Australia, Mark McGowan MLA.

We understand ‘Sarge’ from the Perth Harriettes convinced the Premier to don the 50th Anniversary Perth Hash House Harriers T-Shirt for the photo opportunity.

Run 2740 – Moses – Lake Monger, Dodd St, North side

Perth Hash Run 2740 Monday 7th November 2022

Hares: Moses and Mastitis

Location Lake Monger

About forty five members and guests gathered at the northern end of Lake Monger on a pleasant spring evening to be greeted by Moses, almost back to full fitness following his recent injury, and Mastitis. Sir Tom’s guest, Marcus, came along again; that’s a good sign.

Shortly after 6pm the runners set off and, following a false trail along the western shore of the lake, headed north towards the Osborne Park industrial area. Phantom, map in hand, encouraged walkers to follow them. Not convinced of the wisdom of this move, Botak and I opted for the more scenic option of a stroll around the lake. Very pleasant it was too. We returned to the beer truck about 3.5 km and fifty minutes later.

The main packs of walkers and runners came in after about an hour. There were some mutterings of discontent about the trail markings but that happens most Mondays.

The circle, which was orderly and commendably short, included a good joke from Pembo.

Returnees included Botak and Kilkenny. Reluctant was thanked for his Spring Run hospitality. Guest Marcus picked Horse’s number from the hat but Horse was unable to pick the ace from the pack. Gumby and Polecat (get a haircut!) reminded us of the golf morning and lunch. RA Reluctant, on being informed that Moses had prepared roast mutton for dinner, upped his run score to 8.9.

Thanks to the hares for another good Monday evening.



Run 2733- Mastitis at Kingsley Memorial Clubrooms

The pack & six dogs gathered on a cold windy night at Kingsley Football Club. It is 20 years since Kingsley lost team members in the Bali bombings.

18.02 the pack set off with the walkers following Kingsley Dr south to the shops. Phantom lead them along various streets including Creaney Dr, Shepard Bush Dr, Lambeth Pl, Newham Way Park, Wimbledon Dr, Mitchell Freeway bike path, Hepburn Ave, over Kingsley Dr, east through the overgrown verge shrubbery, Gilmore St, Canis Cl, Cetus Crt, Dalmain St Primary School, Holborn Cl, Mortlake Pl & Shepherds Bush Dr again. The pack split with Birdman short cutting home and Phantom trying to find the home trail. Off again heading east in Shepherds Bush Dr again (maybe he has not seen it for a while), Chiswick Pl, Stratford Pl across the oval & home at 19.12.

The runners came in at 19.30 after their drink stop. The chips were opened and the circle started at 19.40.

The run was a bit long for the older members and nicely compensated by great food, even some leftovers for the family. Well done, Mastitis, Neon, Moses, Flasher and Polly the parrot, I mean pirate.



Run 2732- Crayfish at Charles Veryard Reserve, North Perth

A run site we have used before offering good shelter, which was a good job as the rain began as the pack assembled for the run just before 6 o’clock. After a minute’s silence to recognize and honour the late Queen Elizabeth II, the walkers, at least half a dozen canines and even a reasonable pack of runners headed off into the fading light of the evening and threatening rain which came and went throughout the run, light and not so light. I was walking with the runners and for a while kept up with the likes of FT and APITW, but after a while I found myself with some of the “back-runners” somewhere around Angove Street with no sight or sound of the pack,  nor any sign of chalk. So we made our way east towards North Perth, then headed back towards the start which turned out to be reasonably close to the actual run route.  Great timing as we came in with the rest of the pack, who claimed the run was around 6.5km, although a lot of chalk was washed out and Q pulled out a map to help make the run a success.

All Walkers, Runners and Dogs returned safe and sound, and gathered under the very adequate shelter and the circle got under way with a down down for Neon for talking in the Circle followed by birthday boy Skid who also supplied a carton for the boys. Also noted was Sir Knob and Conman who weren’t present but also were also celebrating birthdays.

Soon to be birthday boy Top Gun was awarded a DD for his birthday next week on the 22nd September, for which our duly elected Prime Minister has deemed to be a public holiday, not only for Top Gun’s birthday but also as a national day of mourning for The Queen.

Rumpole put out a call to help load a container of dentist equipment to go out to the needy people od Sri Lanka next Tuesday (20th Sept), if you are available to help please respond to Rumpole.

Mastitis got an anniversary DD (although I seem to remember starting Hash in February – go figure), new member Pig Trap got one for falling on the run and breaching the blood rule, Neon (again) and Q for breaching the new shoes rule.

Upcoming events mentioned were the Paella Lunch on Sunday (18th Sept) at Raindrops’ place – if you intend on going please pay $25 to the Hash account and let Ringburner know – must have final numbers by Thursday 15th. Also next week at Mastitis’ run in Kingsley it is also International Talk Like  A Pirate Day, so come dressed as a Pirate (you know you want to BUSHIE).

Our RA awarded the night’s C#%T Of A  Driver Award to Pembo for crashing in to Top Gun, and Elbows was the recipient of a recycled mother-daughter joke.

For the tough conditions, great walk and run, good light and shelter (despite having to duck out into the rain to find a beer at the Bucket), and good food, Hare Crayfish and Co-Hare Prairie Dog were awarded a worthy 8.5 by the RA.

Meal was crumbed chicken burger in a role with cheese and coleslaw – very nice. Thanks for a great night Crayfish!



Run 2731 – West Coast Spring Run at Kings Park

West Coast Spring Run

Run 2731
Monday 5 September 2022
Hares: Point and Bits

There was nothing about spring in the weather, a very wet night resulting in the run being washed out and Point having to do a live hare run. It is my run next week so I trust that The Griz will do a bit better in the weather department. It is always a risk using this venue but Point must have bribed the thought police and we did not see any sign of King’s Park rangers during the night – very unusual.

Dickie and Budgie arrived in the wagon and parking the vehicle was uneventful and happened without incident. It is always a source of amusement to us early arrivers to watch the dynamics and interaction between driver and hare as to the best location for parking.

A late start at 6.15 (some PH3 members don’t read the newsletter) and off went the runners – all 15 of them and the remainder waited for our dear leader Phantom to lead off the walkers. I made the fatal mistake of talking to Budgie and Dickie at the beginning of the walk and we weren’t concentrating and soon lost the walker pack. The hares were smart enough to get us out of the Park quickly and the walk took us through the office centre of West Perth then to Harold Boas Gardens and back to the Park via Havelock Street.

Basil Brush led the circle and his first act was to give a down down to Birdie who contravened hash tradition and called Scummie by his Christian name – its Barry! Scummy then joined him by making a disrespectful comment to the chair. Other down downs were Flasher who was looking remarkably fit having lost a stone – both in weight and as in kidney, Sir Knob (covid) and Birdman. Pembo joined BB and delivered his usual well researched joke. Reluctant as RA took over and called up Topgun who we were told went all the way to Whitfords Shopping Centre for the hash lunch but couldn’t find the venue and then delivered a good joke at Triple’s expense about a free helicopter ride from the top of Ben Nevis.BB finished the circle by calling up Fang who was noticed not having a drink at the drink stop – a fairly serious charge. Just as the circle was finishing, Dickies phone rang but he insisted that it was not an errant call but only his newly installed pacemaker sending a signal that the unit was in working order.

The committee put on the food which were hamburgers with all the trimmings and our thanks go to all the members who contributed to the food preparation. I was planning hamburgers for next week but will now have to rethink so as to avoid the criticism of having the same meal 2 weeks running – such are the dynamics of hash. All in all great night and our thanks to West Coast for inviting us to their run