Run 2786 – Close to Heart

Close to your heart, Freo Hash joint run @ Screwie & Butless’ house.
Six Perth Hashers (Phantom, Sir Knob, Reluctant, Soft Rock, Bushie & Nanny) joined approx 120 hashers from many chapters in Perth and outer regions. Sir Knob was accompanied by Lillyanna. Maybe a potential future Harriette? Screwie and Butless had once again opened their house for a hash event. The Run was hosted by Freo Hash and money raised was donated to Forget Me Not charity.
There was a long queue to register, apparently even if you had paid online it was necessary to register.
A lady from Forget Me Not addressed the hash before the run started and explained why the charity was so important in assisting research into dementia.
The Walkers and Runners headed off up the hill, and the runners returned shortly after having found the first false trail. The pace was brisk as Franger from West Coast sprinted to every false trail and I suspect guessed many of them and rain straight on. The first few K’s were at 6.4 km/h and I often heard the pack calling on ahead when there was an arrow going either left or right. Franger really destroys runs and should be counselled on what hashing is about I.e. it’s not a marathon club.
We ran into Fremantle CBD with the setting sun before us. It was quite spectacular. Up and down the cafe strips and a quick sprint to the drink stop (kindly put on by Sir Knob’s brother Boxy, I am lead to believe). Thanks Boxy. There was a sensible choice of Beer (not 14 varieties like at PH3), straight Port, Port with lemonade (my choice & very nice too), cider as well as non alcoholic drinks. There was a table with nibbles for those with the munchies coming on.
Nanny, Soft Rock and Bushie (having obtained permission to continue the run), set off for home.
We were not the first back, I think most of the walkers were already at the on on.
Phantom was on hand to buy drinks for the Perth Hash from our weekly beer budget.
A sensible choice of three beers and a cider was an ample variety for the hashing community.
Screwie called the circle to order using a loud speaker system and promised a short circle. Screwie’s short circles put our long circles to shame for their longevity. It was quite an interesting circle with both our GM & On Sec being called up for down-downs. Meat man told a raunchy joke about some Harriette’s going to the morgue to pay respects for a recently departed hash man and they noticed rigamortus had set in and he looked like a young Meatman (quite a tame one for Meatman). They all took turns in having their way with the corpse whilst the others kept a lookup for visitors. It ended with Sarge coping the punchline. Sarge then told a joke with Meatman as the target (very clever).
Many other hashers called up.
We took turns in sing our respective hash songs with TG from Melbourne sung his hash song alone! I complemented him afterwards and he said that he is a musician and he wrote the song, but still went over the words in his mind before singing it to the circle.
Food was on, chicken and salad. Very tasty.
A great night of hashing.
WBDFQ
On on
Bushie

Run 2787 – Polly and XMAS

POLLY’s PLOD in fairly Virgin territory

It was a bloody cold night, and the heater was expecting a hammering.

There were a couple of Indian visitors (non-drinkers -enrol then immediately) and Alan, a friend of Prairie Dog. A loop round the shopping centre and then over Karrinyup Rd into Virgin territory, or at least where we hadn’t been for long time. we then followed trail thru a number of residential lanes, cul-de-sacs and paths, along a freeway park and around lakes until finally going ON HOME, cunningly almost on the out trail.

PHANTOM, totally over the moon, from Collingwood’s success, lost concentration about 300 metres from home and let his faithful Walkers on an unnecessary loop to arrive five minutes after the runners.

Well done POLLY and XMAS in newish territory and the run would have got close to 10 but for the false trails being too short and perhaps a few more needed as the pack was very strung out by the end.

The circle had jokes by KNOB (religious) and EMU (racial against poor Italians) We enjoyed XMASs Cloudy beers and quite strongly spicy sausage curry to finish.

AS we say WBDFQ

ON ON Ghost who walks

 

Run 2781 – Jack Russell with co-hares Grizzly & Dozer.

Run 2781 – Jack Russell with co-hares Grizzly & Dozer.
I arrived at the run site about the same time as the bucket, piloted by Colonel and assisted by Twitch. I had an interesting conversation with Colonel about the duties of driving the bucket; very topical as Crayfish & I are scheduled for bucket duties later this year.
What a great run site, very picturesque, and a change from the usual suburban run. Plenty of parking, lighting and shelter ….err 2 out of 3 is not bad – it’s a pass. Besides, we have a pull-out awning attached to the bucket, only very slightly used (it could be referred to as ‘like new’).
The hashers were called to attention at a few minutes to 6 o’clock and Jack Russell explained thee markings, chalk and spray paint – and don’t listen to Grizzly’s complaints about no flour, false trails too short etc. I heard that they run out of time setting so not all the trail was marked.
We ran around the boat jetties, past the stone statue of a topless girl and over the bridge to Kuljak Island. A few FTs and then some clever tree markings had the pack back on trail.
We ran past the walkers a few times before there was another smaller bridge back to the ‘mainland’. The pack split up only to be rejoined a few streets later. A very interesting metal ‘boardwalk’ back to the carpark & onto the bucket.
4.62 km, pace 10:00 min/km, moving time 00:44:39.
Sir Knob was back on the crate after an absence last week.
Down-downs for…
* Grizz’s family returned with suitcases full.
* Wagon’s 50th mug, Down Down (at last).
* Dave the Pom
* Scumbag taking in circle, and claimed he was just answering a question from?? Was it Haggis?
* Phantom forgot to pick up car from Lasagne’s workshop. He wasn’t charged for parking or storage. Both had a down-down.
* Antman told a limerick about Phantom.
* Conman for returning to the hash.
* Rumpole for returning from hospital building duties & using up another of his virtual tokens.
* Reluctant told us about his wife’s seven years undefeated world down-down wins. She is also organising wine for a fund raising event, $80 value for $8 a bottle. It was discussed at great length by the occupants of the Western Suburbs Carpool members.
Emu shared his cultural views with us.
* The hares were called up for their traditional down down. Grizzly’s family trip and overseas purchases were mentioned.
On On to the food Q. I blinked and almost missed out altogether, but Jack Russell shared his with me.
WBDFQ
On On Bushie.
May be an image of map and text that says "Record Distance Ascent Elevation 71 m 30 1o01 Riverside gardens Swan River S 55 R KULaR island Swan RIver Swan River æ ® Tranby Reserve Road 94 200"

Run 2780 – Q and Seagull -Kalamunda

Hares: Que and Seagull
Location: Kalumunda,
Terrain: Hills, bush, and streets
Runners: 11
Walkers: 20
The run started at the Kalamunda Water Tank with the Bucket required perilously close to the road.  No Hashers were killed though.  The run took off into the back streets of Kalamunda with some very long FTs.  Almost a course in themselves.  The Run then ventured into some very dark bush (it was nighttime), some small hills, plenty of rocks  to trip on in the dark, but there were no reported injuries.
The hares set a challenging course with plenty of ups and downs, most enjoyable. The walkers also had a good time, taking their time and enjoying the scenery.
The course eventually led back to the Bucket after 1hr 4mins and 32 secs, 7.65 kms – a good run.  
The weather gods gave just enough time for the speeches, jokes and a score of 9.5 for the run – well done.
Returnees,  JJJ and Sir Tom, were welcomed back after their adventures, a good night.
The hashers then enjoyed a delicious meal of BBQ’d Chicken in a wrap, followed by plenty of beer.
It was a great night of hashing, and everyone had a lot of fun. Thanks to Que and Seagull for setting such a great course!
Here are some of the highlights of the run:
The challenging course was perfect for dark, dark night.
The fresh air of the bush was invigorating.
The walkers had a great time, taking their time and enjoying the scenery.
Que and Seagull set an excellent course.
The food was delicious.
The hashers had a lot of fun.
ONON JAK RUSSELL

Run 2779 – Budgie and Dick Tracy

We arrived at Percy Doyle Reserve about 5:00 PM and found our way to the car park in spite of Budgie putting the hash feet pointing the wrong direction. $ Bill had already parked his Ram monster cleverly in a corner parking bay which was large enough for him not to be a contender of the ‘Wilson Parking Award’.

About 25+ hashers were called to order a few minutes before 6:00 PM so Antman could read his limerick about Elbows (Elbows wasn’t expected to be around at the circle).

The runners (including your scribe) set out in a westerly direction after Budgie was requested to keep the run description short – just which direction was all he was asked for and he added it was set with chalk, but not those fancy P arrows, just the standard straight arrows.

We were reliably informed that there would be 2 tunnels, one on the way out and one on the return leg. That information proved to be accurate.

The run was well set but Pitt commented that a lot of the Checks were forward checks meaning the faster runners found the on on quickly, thus increasing the speed of the run instead off slowing them down. Being finely tuned athletes both Bushie & Pitt were able to keep up.

We ran out to the coast and were on West Coast Highway at 6:33 PM. Boy this was going to be a fast & long run.

We turned east at Budgies abode but Mega was no where to be seen and there was no beer stop. Someone commented that Mega probably didn’t know the combination to the beer fridge (harsh).

Back east and eventually reached the car park to Percy Doyle Reserve in 1 hr 4m having run 6.94 km at an average speed of 9.21 k/ph (according to Bushie’s Strava app).

The circle was run by Sir Knob and I’ll let Crayfish report what happened.

I will add a big thank you for the birthday cartons from Colonel (who was one week early to fulfill his bucket duties and navigated to the wrong car park as he was riding shotgun in the bucket), and Cans who put on his annual English beers. There may have been one other that I missed as there was an esky of Carlton Mid as well as Crownies in every esky in the bucket.

Budgie (err.. Dick Tracy) put on a great meal of Curry Chicken and Garlic Chicken with bread to soak up the gravy. Apparently Budgie peeled one or two potatoes whilst DT peeled the other 3kg.

WBDFQ
On On 
Bushie

Mumbles & Neon – Run 2769

Bull Creek Leeming Amateur Football Club

Run 2769 was on a pleasantly mild overcast day after one of the coldest May day in Perth, a perfect temperature and quite day for a run. The home sets in the beautiful and tranquil Beasley Park surrounded by gum trees and next to the Melville Golf Club. The Beasly Park is home to the Bull Creek Leeming Amateur Football Club. The park’s tranquillity was soon taken over by noises from the female AFL players and of course the laughter of PH3.

When Mumbles said clearly and concisely: “start there” while pointing to the direction, one PH3 mate yelled: “Neon, please translate.” While I was wondering: translate to what? Greek or First Nation language? Neon said loudly: “The F*** starts over there” while pointing toward a corner of the football field where female AFL players were training. The runners immediately and energetically started to run toward the direction Neon pointed to.

To the disappointment of the runners, the path soon departed from the football field and directed to the straight Beasley Rd, with 500 m straight run before hitting the first FT, then another 500m on Beasley Rd before the second FT. The runners happily turned back toward the football field after the second FT, perhaps still remembered Neon’s directive: “The F*** starts over there”. But it turned out, the right path was through Banksia Primary school.

As the run turned out, the runners took 40% of the run in the east of Karel Ave, and 60% in the west. The run finished up along Karel Ave. It’s just a great run without Neon’s “the F***”.

At the Circle

MIA:

Birthday cans: ??

Returnees: Rumpole, ??

Anniversaries: ??

Run Score: 8.5

Food: Subway rolls and pumpkin soup.


Write-up by Soft Rock (hare Run 2771, virgin run at Tom Perrot Reserve, Mosman Park) with Polecat as Co-Hare

Run 2731 – West Coast Spring Run at Kings Park

West Coast Spring Run

Run 2731
Monday 5 September 2022
Hares: Point and Bits

There was nothing about spring in the weather, a very wet night resulting in the run being washed out and Point having to do a live hare run. It is my run next week so I trust that The Griz will do a bit better in the weather department. It is always a risk using this venue but Point must have bribed the thought police and we did not see any sign of King’s Park rangers during the night – very unusual.

Dickie and Budgie arrived in the wagon and parking the vehicle was uneventful and happened without incident. It is always a source of amusement to us early arrivers to watch the dynamics and interaction between driver and hare as to the best location for parking.

A late start at 6.15 (some PH3 members don’t read the newsletter) and off went the runners – all 15 of them and the remainder waited for our dear leader Phantom to lead off the walkers. I made the fatal mistake of talking to Budgie and Dickie at the beginning of the walk and we weren’t concentrating and soon lost the walker pack. The hares were smart enough to get us out of the Park quickly and the walk took us through the office centre of West Perth then to Harold Boas Gardens and back to the Park via Havelock Street.

Basil Brush led the circle and his first act was to give a down down to Birdie who contravened hash tradition and called Scummie by his Christian name – its Barry! Scummy then joined him by making a disrespectful comment to the chair. Other down downs were Flasher who was looking remarkably fit having lost a stone – both in weight and as in kidney, Sir Knob (covid) and Birdman. Pembo joined BB and delivered his usual well researched joke. Reluctant as RA took over and called up Topgun who we were told went all the way to Whitfords Shopping Centre for the hash lunch but couldn’t find the venue and then delivered a good joke at Triple’s expense about a free helicopter ride from the top of Ben Nevis.BB finished the circle by calling up Fang who was noticed not having a drink at the drink stop – a fairly serious charge. Just as the circle was finishing, Dickies phone rang but he insisted that it was not an errant call but only his newly installed pacemaker sending a signal that the unit was in working order.

The committee put on the food which were hamburgers with all the trimmings and our thanks go to all the members who contributed to the food preparation. I was planning hamburgers for next week but will now have to rethink so as to avoid the criticism of having the same meal 2 weeks running – such are the dynamics of hash. All in all great night and our thanks to West Coast for inviting us to their run

Crayfish

Run 2721 – 27 June 2022, Conman & Phantom at Wembley Sports Pavilion, Jolimont

Run 2721 on 27 June 2022.

Conman & Phantom at Wembley Sports Pavilion Carpark, Jolimont.

Conman selected a venue under cover, with great lighting & great parking.  Because Conman’s knees were still crook from his two knee replacements, Phantom set a very well marked trail for him. Some super crafty false trails, lots of checks and enough FTs made for a great run. Full marks to Phantom.

The weather report was shocking, but 33 pitched up expecting to get washed out and of these 14 were runners. Not a drop of rain fell.

Conman delivered a fabulous meal of Chilli Con Carne in more than abundant quality in a Nanny pot that could have fed 100 Hashmen. We even have another nomination for the cordon blue award.

All in all, a great night that was given a score 9.

Written by Conman, published by Bushranger.

Run 2726 – Ramrod – De Lacy Reserve, Maylands

Ramrod & Sir Tom Arse at Maylands

De Lacy Reserve Maylands

Out of town on Guildford Road

Right on Peninsula Road

Straight at roundabout

Left on Richard Street (sign posted)

First right on Hillside Crescent, LFF.

Pre-run

The night threatened to be wet, cold and nasty and it was. The hare, Ramrod, told us the run was set with chalk which had mostly washed away by the storms. The runners were given a map (your scribe had that one) and the walkers a remarkably similar map.  Q commandeered the map I had because he said he has better eyesight than me (that is correct).

The run

We set out around the oval here two hounds immediately broke rank and ran the opposite direction to the peloton. Sanity soon prevailed and they re-joined us.

At the corner of Richard Street & Swan View Terrace there was some discussion as to where we actually were as the paper map only had a few street names on it. The walkers arrived and told us we were going the wrong way. Bugger they were probably correct. So we ran up Swan View Terrace, instead of Caladonian Avenue where the chalk was laid. No problem we eventually arrived at Corner of Margaret Street and Caledonian where there was a discussion on which way to go and where is Kathleen Avenue (where I lived as a bachelor). The walkers arrived and joined in the discussions. Mr Walker asked ‘Where are we?’. I stated the obvious, but that wasn’t what Mr Walker wanted to hear. The paper map only had a few streets marked on it so keeping in contact with the map was difficult. Keeping in contact with the map is fundamental in not getting lost on a 24 hour Rogaine sometimes in thick bush.

At Seventh and East Streets Rumpole took over navigating for the remaining 4 runners and lead them away from the Maylands Yacht Club in spite of being the most experienced sailor amongst us (apart from me who has skippered 42 foot Yachts on the Whitsundays in Queensland and British Virgin Islands in the Caribbean). I saw arrows and turned around called out ‘on back’ & ran down towards the Maylands Yacht Club Inc. and found chalk on the way.

Just before the Maylands Yacht Club I found trail in the Cycle way (PSP) heading east. Looking at the paper map in the light of the day (actually it is the light of the night), I now see that the trail went on the street north of the cycleway. I must have run on a false trail.

I eventually ran back to the bucket across the oval, clocking 5.70 km in 01:02:06 hours approximately. I was offered a Scotch whisky, cheese, and biscuits as well as the ubiquitous crisps.

The Circle

Pembo called the troops to attention and started the circle. I was given a down-down and accused of being a marathon man. He then told a joke about a husband and wife in the upstairs shower. The doorbell rang so the wife hopped out of the shower, wrapped herself in ta towel and went downstairs and opened the door. There was the neighbour who immediately took control of the situation and said, ‘If you drop that towel I’ll give you $800.’ The wife thought about that for a few micro-seconds and dropped the towel. The neighbour (I think it was Elbows) said my you have a lovely body and then reached into his pocked and pulled out the $800 and gave it to her. She went back upstairs and her husband said ‘who was that’, she replied ‘Elbows, our neighbour’. He said ‘Great, did he give you the $800 he promised to repay me today?’.

Birthdays

There were a few more down-downs for birthdays etc. Not sure who but these are the August birthday boys:-

Colonel (76)

Jack Russell (57)

Polecat (73)

Emu (75)

Flasher (69)

In case you were not paying attention the July Birthdays were:-

Soft Top (52)

Wagon (75)

Mastitis (57)

Lasagna (68)

French Tickler (69)

Dick Tracy (76)

Dick Tracy (76)

Pembo (67)

Prairie Dog (64)

Barcode (44) Ed. merely a youngster!

Haggis (71)

Reluctant (59)

Sir Knob was called to be the stand-in RA

He recounted the time early in his parliamentary career when he was door knocking and was confronted by a near naked constituent. He was looking forward to the next encounter and  sadly it was never repeated in the rest of his parliamentary career.

He gave the run a 9.16 out of 10 but raised it to 10 due to the appalling weather -what was Grizzly doing?

Great run site, lights, shelter, parking – it had it all.

Nanny led us out with ‘What do we do on a Monday?’

Food

The food was plentiful and not just because of the low numbers. It was tasty rice and curry.

WBDFQ


On ON

Bushie

Run 2723 – Budgie – Charles Riley Reserve, North Beach

What a great run, lots of parking, lights, shelter and great company.

The scene was set with Budgie placing the red tub were he wanted the Bucket to be parked. When Grizzly drove in with his dog in the back and his navigator/rally driver advisor in the passenger seat there was a non hash car parked in the way. No problems so much parking space he just moved further to the right (a bit like Sir Knob has been doing since joining Perth Hash in July 2014).

Run started with Budgie claiming No Hasher on his run would complain of lack of chalk. He was correct – even so there was a comment about the arrows not having a P – Budgie retorted with “I have never drawn a P arrow in my 40 years of setting runs”.

The run went around the oval then towards the beach. There was a section on a trail through bush south of Charles Riley Reserve.

The On Home was across the oval past the football guys training on the oval.

The circle was commenced by Pembo who gave many down-downs for ‘trumped up charges’. Visitors and returnees were his target. Good to see Meggs & Growie at the run. Pembo told a great joke about passing the sister test when getting married.

Then it was Reductant’s turn. He complained about Pembo using up all his material – no down-downs left and how to tell a joke after Pembo’s joke had the hashers in stitches.

Polly missed an opportunity to hand out his ‘Join Us! Hash House Harriers’ cards to the young footballers as they left the oval to drive home.

Circle over, ‘We go Hashing on a Monday’ song was sung and a Q formed for the food.


Dick Tracy cooked up a storm with two choices of chickens dishes, just look at their hats, Dick Tracy with Garlic Chicken and Budgie with Curry Chicken, what team!

Wouldn’t be dead for quids.

Bushies Route using Gaia GPS app on his iPhone 13 Pro