Author: Bushranger

Run 2930 – Reluctant with Co-Hare Baldy – 29th June 2026

Set in the leafy grandeur of Claremont / Dalkeith and with winter storms brewing yet again, Reluctant needed the skills of both Grizzly & Moses to hold off the heavens.
10 runners and perhaps twice that many walkers set out clockwise from the John Leckie Pavilion through Mason Gardens to the old riverside Sunset hospital, then along Jutland Parade to Point Resolution before winding back to the bucket – the run recorded at 7.4km in just over the hour. No incidents among the runners however the walkers managed to lose both Pig Trap and Ramrod, both returning late together after the Circle.
The Bucket was abandoned in favour of the warmth of the Pavilion, made available by Phantom’s insider knowledge.
At the circle GM Pitt called up Phantom (insider knowledge); Q, Deeply Boring, Nanny & Crayfish (returnees); Budgie (anniversary); Q (hobnobbing with pollies on the new Australind train); Xmas (a joke?). RA Mastitis called up Q to tell the joke about a drunk being caught out by his wife; Moses was acknowledged for recent RA duties; Reluctant’s run was critiqued and scored via the ball bag at 9.9 – great solo effort! Nanny charged Pot Hole for his sacrifice on a steep hill with a false trail.
Dinner was a hearty stew served with rice and plenty for seconds, or thirds!
WBDFQ
On On
PD

Run 2931 – Deeply Boring’s Noughts & Crosses

We arrived at Allen Park with no signs, no sign of the hare and no sign of a trail. Mastitis asked if we were in the right location and we decided it was as it was where Deeply set his last run.
Eventually a very quiet electric car arrived with Deeply driving.
At 6:00 PM Deeply called us to attention.
Deeply explained how he was shown by his father how to mark a run in the Malaysian Jungle. O for checks and X for go back to the last intersection (and don’t use the words ‘False Trail!’). He went on (and on) to explain that the trail was marked on the right, so look for chalk or flour on the right. Sometimes it wouldn’t be on the right, and we erroneously took that to mean it would be on the left, but no, sometimes the O was on the road in the centre of the intersection. The run would start on a trail leading up to Melon Hill. Deeply said shortcutters and walkers could start up the trail without going to the ‘No through Road’ that lead up to the trail.
Eventually we asked, ‘Can we go now?’.
The run was remarkably well set and there was flour and lots of chalk marking the trail. The seven runners almost outnumbered the walkers, and I counted about 19 or 20 hashers in total when we were standing around the fire after the run, err… what fire?
The views from Melon Hill were amazing with a bright red/orange sunset over the coast. A clever long downhill false trail had most of the runners finding the X. Back on the trail we descended back into the leafy Swanbourne streets after a clever X in Jones Park. The runners were reluctant to cross the bridge over West Coast Highway/Servetus Street, but the walkers indicated we should. We crossed back over West Coast Highway on to Knutsford Street.
A sneaky X on Walpole Street had us searching for trail but Soft Rock doubled back and found it on Cross Street and onto the oval for a quick sprint home where the walkers called us to run it in as they sat around the Claytons fire drinking their first beers.
Deeply manned the bar serving the large number of beers available on ice.
Pitt called us to the circle (with shouts of form a semi-circle). He complained of a lack of On Sec and then proceeded to be the said-On Sec. He told a great joke which I no longer recall. Pothole was given a down-down, Sir Tom welcomed back from his overseas adventures.
Mastitis had a down-down, Ramrod (referred to as Ramsy) for getting lost last week, Xmas couldn’t finish his down-down and Deeply nearly wore the dregs. Then Grizzly won the right to choose a card from the back but alas no Joker was found. He did get a bottle of wine donated by Elbows who won the last two raffles and also didn’t locate the evasive Joker. Ramrod advised the to pool is now $220.
Mastitis patiently listened to Deeply once again explain the concept of Noughts & Crosses and became rather animated and loud.
Chunda was invited to delve into the depths of Mastitis’ BBB (Big Ball Bag) and pulled out two 7’s.
The meal was hearty, plentiful and tasty. I can’t remember what it was called so I asked my AI app, and this was the response: –
The dish you’re describing — served from a pot, chicken, soup‑like, French‑sounding name — most likely matches one of three classic French chicken dishes. The strongest match is Poule au Pot. Other contenders…Pot‑au‑Feu (with chicken variation) or even Fricassée de Poulet. AI went on to say it could have been Blanquette de Poulet.
There was plenty for seconds.
The carpark emptied quickly and then there was only Xmas in the counting house counting out the money or in the bucket counting out the beers, Deeply seeing if he could assist and Bushie wondering why there was still a car next to the bucket when there were no more hashers to be seen. Was somebody still lost out there pondering the Noughts & Crosses?
Another great hashing night in Perth.
On On
Bushie
WBDFQ.

Run 2925 – Soft Rock and 摩西 (co hare)

Soft Rock and 摩西 (co hare)

Using ‘Translate with ChatGPT’ becomes…

Soft Rock and Moses (co hare)

The forecast…

Winter is well and truly on its way to Perth this week, as heavy rainfall is predicted to replace the cool and sunny last days of autumn the metropolitan area has enjoyed.

But not before Soft Rock & Moses set an 8.8 out of 8.8 run.

The weather was still warm and sunny as 26 hashers gathered to set out for a run or walk in the leafy riverside suburb of Mosman Park which has been described by people in the know as…

‘Mosman Park is an affluent, scenic western suburb of Perth, Western Australia, uniquely situated between the Indian Ocean and the Swan River. Located roughly 14 kilometres southwest of the Perth CBD and 5 kilometres north of Fremantle, it is highly regarded for its unique “between river and sea” geography, pristine public parks, premium lifestyle appeal, and elite schooling options.’

Pitt addressed the rabble err… fine hash-men of the Gentlemen’s Hash. Once the noise settled to a dull roar he was able to proceed. He told us the run number and handed over to Soft Rock.

Soft Rock hesitated before he started – was it to to be dramatic or was it to collect his thoughts or was it to deliver a thoughtful introduction to his & Moses run? Possibly all of those things. He said the run, as usual, was set with chalk & flour. The arrows could be found on the right hand side of the road or if not there on the left hand side. And he was right again – or left in some cases.

The run started downhill towards the river, from a height above sea level of 30 m to a low of 23 m, according to my Strava app which read the data from my Apple Watch :-). We ignored the hash wisdom of ‘Don’t give up the high ground!’. Boy did we pay for it with the steep climbs further down the trail.

The trail was well set with arrows on the right with occasional arrows on the left. We lost the trail temporarily near the beach at Minim Cove Park. Your scribe found it off-piste with flour on the sand path and chalk under the bench seats, just as the ‘pack’ found a check on the path above us. The running pack started off with 9 +1 (dog). at this stage we were down to 8 + 1. We never found out who the 9th runner was. I did question the accuracy of the initial count and Mastitis conceded it was not verified by anybody so we could have started with 8 runners and no losses.

We followed the riverbank east then north east up to Chidley Reserve with clever false trails and checks on the way. The trail continued along Wellington Street with more false trails and checks.

Q asked ‘How many parks can you count here?’ confused I asked Q what he was talking about. I missed the sign that said ‘Genders Park’ so the irony was lost on me.

Polly explained to me that my birthday carton of Bintang wasn’t with the beers when he loaded the bucket. The explanation loses something if written instead of listening to Polly’s interpretation of an Indian staff member looking for the Bintang, not finding it, phoning his boss and speak swahili (or that’s what it sounded like when Polly spoke it) to his boss then saying they didn’t stock it. Polly showed me the impressive sign he made up for the Bintang. Oh well, he can save it for next week.

Chips were served, the older (and a few not so old) members formed a semi-circle with their chairs and the circle commenced. Polecat pointed out to Pitt that he was capable of standing and didn’t need a chair.

Pitt quickly disposed of Hash business, including a somewhat rambling explanation of why we are not running with the Perth Harriettes next Tuesday on their Palace Run in Carlisle. Hamersley Hash were blamed for the stuff-up and Perth Hash are hosting a 4 seasons run with West Coast Hash in Willetton.
ed. It’s on our website! Run 2926 – 4 Seasons Run by PH3- Haggis

Pitt handed over to Sir Knob for our weekly (not weakly) joke. Phantom was the ‘patsy’ for a long story about a sperm sample.

Note: A patsy is a slang term for a person who is easily tricked, manipulated, or cheated. It also refers to a “scapegoat” or “fall guy”—someone who is deliberately blamed, framed, or made to take the fall for another person’s mistakes or crimes.

Our RA, Mastitis, then called on Birdman to give a report on the walk. It was a positive report as expected from Birdman, including references to the size of the houses in Mosman Park compared to the Western Suburbs and the lovely sunset observed on the drive to the run-site. A runner to give a report on the run who may have been APITW(I didn’t write anything down as Moses only asked my to do the write up as I was about to go home). Another positive report as your editor judged it an an excellent but challenging run in one of the best suburbs in Perth.

Soft Rock was invited to select a ball from Mastitis’ hairy ball bag. He chose an 8, how lucky was that! Then Moses delved into the depths of the hairy ball bag and pulled out another 8! Double 8 must be lucky!

Food was served and it was superbly cooked rice and Port stew – I didn’t hear what the Chinese name for the food was, but it was delicious and plenty for those who choose seconds.

Another night of great Perth Hashing. Where else would you be on a Monday night? Walking the Way of St. Francis walk in Italy like Prairie Dog and Mrs PD? 

I used my Apple Watch Ultra 3 to record my run and Strava automatically uploaded it. This is what the Strava App said:- ‘Nice Work! Run this route again to see how you’re progressing.’ Thanks Strava, I’ll pass on that suggestion.

Run 2910 – Seagull – 9th Feb 2026

Set in the suburb of Viveash – named after Samuel Viveash, the owner of the land in the 1840’s – and located just north of Midland along the banks of the upper Swan River.
11 runners and perhaps 20 walkers set off anticlockwise along the banks and wetlands of the river before snaking through the established suburb followed by new and future sub-divisions. The runners were led by returnee Red Dwarf and ably helped by Mastitis and APITW. The hare (Seagull) provided a drink-stop – well received – with cold water and icy-polls. The run was recorded at 5km in 43minutes – with one shortcut by your scribe.
Some of the locals enquired as to why there was so much shouting and horn blowing and after offering an explanation to two good looking lasses , Nanny kindly offered for them to hold his horn, which was politely declined!
At the circle On Sec Rimmer called up Skippy (visitor); Tripple J, Red Dwarf, Seagull (returnees); Tripple J (subject of Rimmer’s Limerick); Elbows, Polly, Griz (birthdays); APITW (racist comments); Seagull (talking in the circle); Griz(new car); Xmas gave a walker’s critique while dobbing in Griz for short-cutting – however Seagull noted that Griz was on chalk, unlike the other walkers. The joke was about Elbows at a night club. Red Dwarf gave a runner’s critique, noting the best sunset he’s seen in 6 months, and the run was awarded a score of 9.2. Great effort.
Dinner was Tuna Mornay served on fresh buns – a novel concept and strangely enjoyable!
Where else would you be on a Monday night?

 

Follow the link below to see the original write-ups on Facebook and view the photos and members’ comments

 https://www.facebook.com/groups/PerthHashHouseHarriers

Run 2909 – Prairie Dog, Bushie and Crayfish – Heathcote Reserve Applecross – 2 February 2026

The temperature soared to 40.9 which was probably the reason why only 26 of us were at the run. The hares wisely decided to mark the run in the morning and escaped the oppressive heat. Prairie Dog again used his favourite venue and used a new direction, towards Majestic Point and then back through the leafy suburb of Applecross – what a beautiful suburb it is. Surprisingly neither PD or Bushie remembered the old Majestic Hotel.
I think about 8 or 9 were on the run which was of 7.1 km duration and the leader APITW got back at 7.10. The master again led the walkers.
An interesting circle, Sir Knob was both On Sec and RA due to Rimmer being incognito and Dickie still in hospital and what a great job he did. First up was Phantom who tried to take over and was duly penalised and further disgraced himself by treading on Pothole’s dog’s foot. The dog was not happy but Prairie Dog assured us that no injury was sustained. Polly has a birthday on the 5th and returnees were Sea Gull and Topgun (thanks to Stewie for picking him up). And then Colonel was up – discretion this time was forgetting to return the cups. A bit of background – Prairie Dog forgot to take the cups last week (he also copped a down down) and the ever obliging Budgie took them home and washed them. As Budgie would not be at hash last night he dropped them off at Colonels place and you guessed it, Colonel forgot to bring them to the run – as I said last week, Colonel is an RA’s dream.
Polecat and Elbows were next, the story goes that Polecat offered to pick up Elbows on the way to hash. Elbows being the inquisitive person that he is honed by years of being a public servant questioned the geography here and asked Polecat why he would go so far out of his way. It turned out that Polecat had confused Elbows with someone else (identity unknown) and cancelled the offer, talk about an aging club!
Pitt gave an impassioned plea for someone to put their hand up for the position of On Sec. There are a number of people who could adequately do the job – you know who you are so please come forward.
Sir Tom gave a health report on an old member Sherlock and on Dick Tracy who is still in hospital – we look forward to getting Dickie back to hash. Crayfish was up to explain the poor polling for the Libs and being convincingly outgunned by Pauline and then Moses whose discretion was acting on a marking from a previous run and calling the pack back – the pack had just gone up a hill, had to come back then up the hill again when the error was identified. Sir Knob gave us 2 stories, the first about a dentist and chair adjustments and the second about 2 Hamersly hash men talking about how they explained coming home after a boozy night to their wives.
APITW gave a report on the run, it was a good review and a well deserved score of 9.1 was given. The meal was an excellent chilli con carne with rice, a dollop of yoghurt and hot chilli’s if you felt so inclined.
An enjoyable night, great venue, cold beers and our thanks to Prairie Dog for the effort he has put in, Sir Knob for filling in on circle duties and to Polly and Xmas for attending to wagon duties.
One of the photos is of a tree – enlarge the photo and at the top you will see a tree lopper in his hi vis clothing hauling up his chain saw. We spotted him while setting the run and were amazed that he could climb up to such a height.

Run 2908 – Australia Day Run – Budgie and Dick Tracy – Charles Riley Reserve North Beach – 27 January 2026

The Australia Day Run, a very significant run on our calendar – it brings us together to celebrate everything that unites us as nation and makes us the best country on earth.
33 of us turned up thinking we were going to be entertained by the dynamic duo and they would put on a Laurel and Hardy Show but we learnt that Dickie was in hospital with pneumonia and was quite ill. Dickie and Marlene had recently returned from an ocean voyage along the Queensland coast and had to endure a cyclone and then he catches a bug – a word of advice Dickie, stay on the land for future holidays.
Budgie had to make alternative arrangements for the run and the food and he did well. He set half of the run and then got Mastitis to do a live hare run for the second half and the runners said it was successful. I am told the run comprised 13 runners and was 6 km in length and the runners came in within the hour – all except Pitt who got a bit lost and took a bit longer. The walkers were again led by the master and went through parts of Star Lake.
The On Sec had Elbows up for as a returnee and for a birthday, Pig Trap for being Pig Trap (couldn’t understand what the offense was) and then he talked about celebrating Robbie Burns Day on 25 January – an important day in the life of the Scotties and has been going on for over 250 years. Rimmer recited a Robbie Burns poem, half in Scottish and which no one could understand and the other half in English. The Scotties – Rimmer, Haggis, Ramrod and Sirtomarse were called up for a down down.
Pembo was the stand in RA and called for a toast to our country to celebrate Australia Day. He then got Stewie up to critique the run and Stewie talked about foxes and Quendas and wildlife at Star Swamp and gave the run a 1.9. Pot Hole critiqued the run and gave it a well earned 8.5. Under Pembos complicated run scoring system he extrapolated this to 5.2 – quite an easy calculation, combine the run and walk scores 10.4 and divide by 2 = 5.2. I think I prefer Dickies scoring system using the black box. He finished with a story about a cowboy and a chilli meal.
Budgie put on pizzas which were devoured in no time flat. We all missed Dickies meal which is one of our culinary highlights of the year.
Well done to Budgie who had to improvise at short notice. Organising a run is always stressful and losing your cohare at short notice really puts you to the test. It turned out to be a great night and we thank him for his efforts. And our thanks to Polly and Xmas for attending to wagon duties.

Run 2907 – Pothole’s Virgin run with Co-Hare Nanny – 19 Jan 2026

Set in Mullaloo – named after the Aboriginal word for “place of the rat kangaroo” – this virgin run included many of the local parks, typical coastal suburbia, as well as a glimpse of sunset over the Indian Ocean. A cool sea breeze blew away the heat of the day creating ideal conditions.
Sir Knob and Emu rejoined the runners… great to see them back – the run recorded at 7.6km in 1hour 7 minutes with front runners APITW and Mastitis recording over 8km.
At the circle On Sec Rimmer called up Sir Knob (returnee); Budgie (birthday); Polly; APITW; Soft-Rock (farting?): Nanny; Horse. The joke was about parts of Sydney resembling Afghanistan. Stand in RA Nanny called up Emu &Crayfish (the demise of the Liberals to the One Nation Party); Bushie & Emu (run critiques); and Hares Pothole & Nanny – the run awarded the outstanding score of 9.9 – well done!
Dinner was pork and salad buns – simple but very tasty.
Where else would you be on a Monday?

Run 2905 – Chunda and Sir Tom Arse – 5 Jan 2026

Set from the Kent Street Weir in the riverside suburbs of Wilson and Ferndale on a mild summer night the run went anticlockwise across the weir, and through the bushland of the Canning River Regional Park, before winding through suburbs and returning through the bushland. Chunda warned of swamps and mud and to be sure there was some but no barrier to hardened hash men.
There were about 15 runners initially, including the Eveready Franger who not only cleared all the false trails, but added in some extra running for good measure, clocking about 8km compared to the actual trail length recorded at 4.6km by Soft Rock (see map in photos). Franger did a good job of doubling back to ensure he had followers, but the pace eventually led to the pack fragmenting – as expected.
At the circle On Sec Rimmer called up Rusty Nuts, Franger, and Skippy (visitors); Lasagna, Reluctance and Soft Rock (returnees); Grizzly, Polly, Moses, and Colonel (anniversaries); Chunda and Q (subs overdue); Sir Tom Arse(can-opening skills). The joke was about four golfers lamenting how difficult it was to get their wives permission to play.
RA Dick Tracy called up Horse and Soft Rock – the Year of the Horse; APITW (?); Nanny (stand in as RA next week); Sir Tom Arse and Chunda (hares) – the walk assessed by Dicky – and the run assessed by Haggis – and after pulling a card from the non-reflective-box – given a score of 9.9!!!
Dinner was Chunda’s signature dish of Meat Loaf, rationed to the appreciative masses by Sir Tom Arse.
Another great night of hashing!
On On
Prairie Dog

Run 2903 – Xmas Breakfast – 24th Dec

Despite a forecast of 39 degrees, we had the pleasure of a mild summer morning set on the idyllic Swan River foreshore at Pelican Point, adjacent to UWA – refer to map in photos.
The runners trail set by hares APITW and Phantom went clockwise – after a false trail anticlockwise – initially along the foreshore before cutting into desirable Nedlands suburbia, and circling back through the southern end of UWA. Front-runners included Mastitis, Q, and the visitors (names unknown) with a total of 11 runners including Rumpole (last seen heading down a short-cut). Run length was recorded by the front runners at 6.72km in 39 minutes & although not officially scored it can be said that it was well marked with sufficient FTs & checks to keep the pack in contact – great effort!
Prior to the circle a council ranger was observed to park nearby causing a flurry of concern to those choosing the “free” parking option.
The circle was a brief affair with On Sec Rimmer acknowledging returnees including Gumby, and the un-named visitors (x3). Also seen were Kilkenny, Flasher & Putrid. Pembo provided the joke about a couple choosing to divorce after many years to entice the kids home for Christmas.
Breakfast was burgers with eggs, bacon, sausages, tomatoes & sauce – expertly cooked by Horse and Dick Tracey and washed down with champers and OJ.
Where else would you be?
On On
Prairie Dog