Run 2755 – Deeply Boring @Swanbourne – By Stewie


WA Bridge Club, Swanbourne
Hare: Deeply Boring
Co-Hare: Not So Boring
Having negotiated a suitable fee I now pen an accurate synopsis of run 2755 being designed and constructed by Deeply Boring but with extensive assistance form his carer, Not So Boring, who it is rumoured is Boring’s son. However, Not So appeared a little hesitant to confirm that suggestion.

An estimated 45 runners and walkers set off from The WA Bridge Club, which one assumes is a gathering place for civil engineers.


The two groups headed in opposite directions with the walkers going SW up a short hill from the carpark. The start was nearly a medical emergency as a bare
midriff and camel toe running in the opposite direction resulted in about three members needing resuscitation.


The excitement settled as both groups were forced to dig deeply to achieve the summit of the highest part of Swanbourne Reserve. We were however rewarded with splendid ocean views. Over the top led both packs though the Swanbourne Barracks residential estate.

Idle gossip from an unnamed walker revealed his knowledge of someone, quite a few years ago engaging in a tryst with an SAS solders wife. Your scribe would describe this as living on the edge.

After 25 minutes the walkers and five minutes later the running pack arrived at a drink stop in Jones Park. Being a traditionalist (and having a carer who knew what he was doing) Deeply presented us with Pimms No 1 cocktails. Straight from the beverage menus of the KL Hash House and Selangor Club.


After a ten minute stop, both groups split and found their respective trails across Allen Park to the Bucket and to the inaugural circle of Phantoms Grey Ghost Committee.

A thoroughly professional Sir Knob On Sec presentation from an accomplished pubic speaker calling up a large variety of down downs causing 27 renditions of the same song. However it was very good to have our two newest member, Pig Trap and Soft Rock on hand to start learning the words.


Then came the Emu, a definitely heathen Religious Advisor. Dressed in his wife’s cocktail frock and fingering his flight tickets to the Mardi Gras, we were thoroughly entertained for about an hour and a half with political intrigues.

Some, not me of course, suggested it was going to be a long year.

The anti fracking family produced a very fine chicken curry with condiments and papadam.

Enough rice left over for Horse’s chicken. Top job by the Borings.


On On


Stewie

RUN 2754 – AGPU At Pembo’s Workplace

Write up by JM – Pitt

Around 45 members turned up at Pembo’s factory unit with a few returnees not seen at a run in some time; founder Member Cans, accompanied by Wagon were notable as was Jerrycan .

Gnocchi made an appearance to speed up the pack from the front. Around 18 runners took off in warm conditions but the cool breeze helped.

There was confusion at the first check as the marking was very faint, But a good job by Flasher with several very long false trails, which kept the pack in reasonable order. BUT – Then the trail was lost again and the pack spread out remaining so for what was a short run of around 30 minutes.

Seems we may have missed some as Flasher indicated at the start it was around 40 mins. The run wasn’t meant to be the main event as it was all about the AGPU and Pembo put on a magnificent effort.

There was plenty of good pizza for all from the Pizza Truck and a carton or so of good quality red from his cellar to supplement the ration which ran out – Ominent signs there new committee.

Pembo was ably assisted by his “2 nieces” who kept the troops amused for evening with plenty of posing with awardees and others.

Excellent effort from Polly, Pembo and team to top off another excellent year

wbdfq

OnOn Pitt

Run 2753 -Prairie Dog at Heathcote Applecross

Prairie Dog Take 2

After an excellent run earning him Virgin Run of the Year, Prairie Dpg came up with a very fine second run and even changed the weather for us to have a pleasant coolish summer run at Heathcote.

No less than 45 pitched up including the dulcet toned visitor Rusty Nuts. In addition, we welcomed back Neon and Botak with 61-190SL.

Nineteen runners headed off with the best FT of the year all the way down a path and back up again with all 19 sucked in. Stand in RA Emu politely mentioned then other end of scale with the attempt to lure all to run South at the beach which Mastitis did to humour the throng.

A top effort with the plodders doing 6½ km in 58 minutes and Bar Code and Q up at 8 km with all the FTs. Nice long leads kept the pack together and that is what Hash is supposed to do.

Topgun/Rhino tripped on steps and did a five point landing modifying his snout in Rhino mould. Fortunately he is fine and had lots of support from his Hash Mates, who even found his dropped lens.

Lasagna drew Y27 and Scribe had Y26 but no joker.

Tea was a superb chicken vegie curry with rice dish and there was heaps.Good Job Prairie Dog aided by the co-hares Bushie and Crayfish.

WBDFQs

Run 2752 – Piggy Bank at Centenary Park, Wilson

Piggy – Virgin Run No 1:

30th January 2023

On a sultry 36-degree day PIGGY called the On On and headed the runners SE across an oval. A search for markers failed to reward until the walkers were spotted heading NW crossing Centenary Avenue. Beyond Centenary Ave the trail headed North across a large field and again the walkers were needed to provide direction. The trail was picked up and the usual FRB’s including BARCODE, ACTION, APITW and Q headed the pack West along the Waterford riverfront. A good number of checks kept the pack in contact before the trail inevitably turned N and E to bring the pack back to the Bucket in just over an hour.

Despite the heat, and mild heatstroke experienced by some runners (GRIZZLY, JACK RUSSELL) the terrain was scenic and enjoyable. A good variety of beers quenched our thirst and after a lively circle in which the On Sec PEMBO acknowledged and bestowed numerous honours (including RUMPOLE’s OA), we were treated to a very tasty Chile con carne.

Could this be the Virgin Run of the Year?

On On

Prairie Dog

Run 2751 – XMAS at Walters Drive. Osborne Park

A moderate evening with a really well organised parking area at No 74 where the run was listed for 73.  A truly great location for a Hash run. 

42 Hashmen pitched up and about 18 went for a run.

It can never be said that XMAS did not put a huge effort into all of his runs to make them interesting, cute with in trails out trails and entrails.  This was one more such run.  The first third was real interesting darting in and out of garages, lanes and the like.  The second third was not easy with nowhere to go.  Then he got nasty and had a great move forcing the runners up the ramp over Scarborough Beach Road and all the way back down the other side.  There were those seeking shortcuts and there was only an entrance to the station.

The plodders ran 5.4km in 50 minutes; we all came in together with Bar Code the front runner and something over 6km for him, all finishing together.

The Circle was up to the high standard OnSec has had the whole year and a grand joke as always.

Special mentions of down downs in the absence of next week’s hare – Q (Anniversary – 6 years ago when he was about *&^%*), Bar Code, Colonel and Elbows for reaching 73.  Special mention too of Crayfish who has posted some piccies  on Facebook from the night.

Great to have Deke up from Bunbury to celebrate his big birthday and to be at a XMAS run.

Dinner served by XMAS and co-hare the GM was a fine choice of curried sausages or mustard chicken with well cooked rice.   Super tukka after a super run.

The RA awarded an 8.9; but the JMs will be somewhat more generous in their evaluation.

Run 2750 – Grizzly at Henderson Park, Jolimont

Version 1 as submitted by XMAS:

Greizzly’s Run in leafy Jolimont.
It started early with Phantom and Deeply Boring getting into parking practice.  Then “Grizzly” remembered which way the run started, the Pack moved off.  The Hash is Aging!We meandered around the lake till Phantom figured out we had to go back the other way  crossing Jersey Street.  Walkers runners and “doggers”.  I noticed Pembos non  start as I didn’t have Sacha’s lead given to me.  However I did see Skid being handed the tow rope of “Bulldozer” who was steadily heading back to Grizzley dragging Skid with him.Finally getting Bulldozer to follow the walkers.  Skid set the pace until they hit the sign post. “Yep he went one side and Bulldozer the other, almost tore the post out!. Entering into the beautiful Parklands that was once Humes Cement and Ceramic works.  Emerging from the forrest on a path, I noticed we (Walkers) were on trail.Off to our right came the runners, we can always lend you our “Phantom” if you have trouble following the trail mates.Moving on to down town Subi.  We stopped to let the runners catch up?  We all moved in the direction of the Catholic Church.   Also I was informed  previous abode of our very own “Ashay” Red Shoe member, Bushranger.On reaching the intersection, the runners were hovering around looking quite confused when we all took off towards St. John of God Hospital.  I think Q was standing on top of the arrow which was clearly marked on the pavement.We passed through the Hospital grounds and stopped again at Carmbridge Street.  Runners disappeared again.  Across the road was the Old Wembley picture Theatre.  (Patricia & I used to go there when we were kids)Heading west to  Harbourne Street we came across the Runners again dashing  down the lanes.  Don’t know if they got to the drink stop, but there was still plenty of water and even a few beers.  Rumpole must have overstocked the wagon.  From there a one can walk back to the bucket.  A very pleasant run/ walk Grizzly and plenty of tucker.P.S. Grizzly mentioned to me that the runners missed half of his trail.  Maybe the runners should all become walkers.   

ON  ON  XMAS

Version 2 – received via Moses

We gathered with two police cars and four cops in attendance after some sort of accident believed to have occurred with a scooter and a young chic somehow involved.  Aunty Trickie was most concerned about the location and parking shortage and threatened to move across to the Netball area in Selby Street with a guaranteed PHHH SNAFU.  The Hare finally arrived; we were treated to three of the most original parking demonstrations imaginable by pilots who must have obtained their driving licences in Perth Show bags and the wind had many resorting to jumpers and beanies.

Forty Hashmen presented and 17 runners went off for a damned fine run orchestrated by Grizzly and set by Bushie with Trickie doing a magnificent job of organising bucket et al and doing a cooking job extraordinarily well.

So the run was 5.5km in 48 minutes with APITW and Piggy doing something more than that.  The standard suspects did a short walk and had sat down exhausted at the Onon by the time the runners returned.

The Circle was up to standard with the OnSec stealing all the RA’s potential thunder allowing Reluctant to pick on the bad parking award runners up.  Deeply Boring earned the gong and Scummy and Antman close run losers.   This left the RA to pick on Moses for his three year stint of avoiding being troubled by Hash emails due to having 15 email addresses none of which are functional.

Tea was a very fine hamburger with onions, beetroot, cheese and coleslaw.  The cheese was sealed in plastic to delay proceedings, the only blemish.

A damned fine run, in cool and windy conditions nothing like expectation in mid-January, top meal well organised and the RA awarded a very creditable 9.2 for a good effort all round.

Where else could you possibly want to be on a Monday evening?

ON ON

Run 2749- Ace at Len Shearer Reserve, Booragoon

ACE & TOP GUN ALIAS RHINO

Part 1

Although it was a hot afternoon – ACE had picked an ideal location. With the assistance of TOP GUN arrangements were made for an early sea breeze. This helped the temperature drop to an acceptable level.

DICK TRACY, BUDGIE and other northern suburb dwellers had their passports stamped before venturing south across the river.

A reasonable number of runners and walkers were confused at the start. The hare and co-hare gave different directions for departure.

With this sorted the runners disappeared down a walkway to nowhere with PHANTOM in charge of the mob and heading in a southerly direction.

PHANTOM was surrounded by his mates STEWIE, BIRDMAN and DOLLAR. BUDGIE and DICK TRACY have been banned by PHANTOM when he is in charge of the map.

The walk was a gentle stroll through the suburb of Booragoon with several members – led by BIRDMAN – shortcutting for home. BIRDMAN was suffering from thirst-stroke.

A lone runner – ELBOWS – caught up with the walkers as he shortcutted from the main pack.

A few bush paths were negotiated and luckily they went around the Wireless Hill area. The course took us past Applecross High School – BUDGIE went there and it is obvious that teaching practices must have been of a low standard when he was a student.

When travelling across an oval marked “NO DOGS PERMITTED” it was noted that there were more dogs on the oval than those at the Shenton Park Dog’s Home.

After about 45 minutes and entering a walkway we were relieved to see the bucket in the distance. Several older members were already seen sitting enjoying a beer.

THE CIRCLE

PEMBO took charge and gave the following down downs.

  • STEWIE – BIRTHDAY 73 YEARS
  • BARCODE – VISITOR / RETURNER
  • BLACK BOX – VISITOR / KALGOORLIE HASH
  • ST PETERS – VISITOR / RETURNER
  • MOSES – 13 YEAR ANNIVERSARY
  • BUDGIE – PRODUCED A GOLF DAY TROPHY FOR AGM
  • Q – LEATHER RUNNING SHOES
  • ELBOWS – DRINKING SODA WATER AT HASH LUNCH

PEMBO threatened to name members who have not paid their subs by next week or expect a visit from the debt collector.

PEMBO then embarked on telling a joke that was interrupted by NANNY who stated the joke had been told before. Well it was still funny the second time around.

FILL IN RA – EMU

EMU filled in at short notice as RA and made mention of the ROYAL SPAT. EMU gave a down down to HAGGIS for:

NO. 1 DRIVING AWARD FOR TURNING RIGHT INTO NO RIGHT TURN AREAS – HAGGIS produced a certificate for being drunk at the time.

EMU made the following comment for the HARES, ACE and TOP GUN:

  • LOCATION – EXCELLENT
  • WEATHER – IDEAL / HOT
  • TREE BRANCH – NEARLY FELL ON PITT
  • RUN – ABOUT 5 KM
  • MARKING – WELL MARKED BUT CHALK USED WAS A CHEAP, FADED BRAND POSSIBLY FROM ALDI

EMU gave the run a score of 7.

Pizzas were served so the score went down to 4.

RAFFLE: MOSES got the draw however picked the wrong card.

ON ON

GRIZZLY (WHO WASN’T EVEN THERE)

Part 2

After a stinking hot day, the weather moderated and 36 Hashmen dribbled in for a 6:00 start set off by the GM as the OnSec has reverted to just not in time at Wk 2 of the year.  16 runners went off in good running territory for a 5.4km circuit in 49 minutes, an ideal length for a hot evening. A total dearth of chalk, hopelessly too faint and sparse did not destroy the run and the use of cornice and better placement would have made it even better.

Pizzas arrived a little early causing mild apoplexy for one or two of our senior citizens.  Maintaining silence in the circle was overcome as a challenge and we heard a joke presented two weeks running, had a birthday shout for Stewie at 73, welcomed Black Box from Kalgoorlie and there were three anniversaries including Moses as the sole attendee. 

The stand in RA Emu gave Ace and Rhino a very gracious 7 for the run and as always was absolutely even handed in poking sticks at all that earned the right.

WBDFQ – Whatever it stands for

Run 2748 – Nannie at Sheldrake Reserve, Stirling

Nanny in Lasagna Land

34 Hashmen arrived at Sheldrake Reserve on a seriously hot summer afternoon for a run in familiar good running territory with orchestration by Nanny and co-hare Lasagna.  With no traffic on the Mitchell there were some very early arrivals, notably the OnSec who until 2023 has never been parked 20 minutes before a run.

15 runners headed off at 6:01 and whist there was not much sprinting in all of this returned to the bucket after 50 minutes with only APITW running out all the false trails for the 7.1 km as set.  The snail group clocked 4.9 km and for a hot day, the run was perfect.  Nanny doesn’t like checks too much but there was one and heaps of FTs for he who wanted to run them.  The drink stop was well located with ice-cold bottled water and dogs and runners were impressed.

Tea comprised good buns with sliced ham and silverside with bucket loads of coleslaw and a choice of mustards. Drinks management by co-hare as good as everything else.  Top effort.

So besides being the best run in 2023 to date, it probably will make a short list for run of the year when the time comes to deliver judgement.

Where else could you possibly want to be on a Hash night; be it Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday?

ON ON

ACE

Run 2747- Mathilda Bay Reserve- Crawley

JOINT Run Dec 28

What a motley crew  and that’s just PH3

8 of our lot  turned up

KNOB   /GRIZZLY (sans wife put with dog ) /XMAS   /SIR THOM /APITW /BOTAK /PHANTOM/PEMBO

Many THX to XMAS who decided to be Hash Splash and KNOB for nibbles

I reckon there were 80 there including a bloke  in a kilt from Washington USA

The run  (mostly walkers )was a bit like PH3 Xmas run ,in reverse and a bit longer ,and took about 1 hour 15

H4 as usual ran the circle ,told a few jokes ,made a few charges and amazingly finished well before midnight  (I was home by 9 )

Oh yes and our magnificent 7 (APITW went early ) gave a rousing rendition of the Club song

Good to be alive (IWBD4Q)

Phantom

2022 Christmas Eve run at Hackett Drive Crawley

Once the parking fees were taken care of and with a Ho Ho Ho we were off on the annual Xmas run from the very nice Matilda Bay. This year Moses and Mastitis set a short run which just set us all up for a nice brekkie of bacon and eggs with mushroom and sausage washed down with sparkling wine and orange juice and beer.A great start to a Friday morning.Merry Christmas to all Hashers and have a safe and happy festive season.