Category: Run write-ups

30 members and 2 guests – Putrid and Geoff (a friend of Mastitis) – perfect weather and a good location made it a very enjoyable night.
In the absence of our On Sec (walking down Denmark way for the week), the duties were carried out by Sir Knob.

The circle included down downs for our guests, Putrid and Geoff, for Reluctant and Red Dwarf who must have committed some sort of serious discretion, for Rumpole supplying a birthday carton, Reluctant for new shoes (loafers?), Botak and Pig Trap for failing to pick up their trophies at the AGPU and then Putrid, Soft Rock and Conman for being the patsies for a story about being admitted at the pearly gates.

Dick Tracy then gave an entertaining RA presentation, in particular ringing up Pembo next morning to thank him for the effort he put into his run on Easter Tuesday and the phone being answered by one of his nieces! Mastitis gave a critique of the run and Dickie awarded the hare a R for resolute and remarkable and an 8.5 calculated under Dickies’s new complex scoring system – a 47 for the run and 38 for the site giving 85 and put a full stop between these numbers and you have 8.5 – simple really.
Dickie mentioned a story about the Heathcote site – when he was in Division 79 and on a full moon he used to bring the nutters here and book them in – something you couldn’t do now.

The food was an excellent Thai beef curry with steamed rice – a candidate for the Gordon Blue award. Plenty of it and enough for 2nds and 3rds.

A report on the hash hounds – Ramrod’s dog has a bit of limp (old age he says), Maggie is enjoying her time with Xmas and Grizzly finally brought along Dozer who has been MIA for the past few weeks.

Well done to Prairie Dog and to Xmas and Polly for attending to wagon duties

A clear cool night for a most enjoyable run set in the port city of Fremantle with a bit of everything including reserves, limestone outcrops, monuments, prisons, ovals, and historic houses…the trail marked with chalk, flour, and paper…with ample false trails and checks to keep the pack together… measured at 6.4kms in 68 minutes. There were about 10 runners with the only mishap being losing the trail at the beginning & having to start again with assistance from the hare. Pitt took a couple of falls but seemed none the worse for his troubles.

At the circle Grand Master Sir Knob gave a report on the beer tally for the year – apparently all is going well thanks to Polly’s good management. On Sec Rimmer awarded down downs to Elbows (talking); Skid and Grizzly (returnees); a visitor – friend of Polecat and Shakin; Birdman and Q (birthdays); Phantom (falling at the hash lunch): Haggis (talking in the circle). The joke was about a meal shortage on the Irish airline Aer Lingus.
RA Dick Tracey called up Emu, Phantom, and Mumbles to represent the misfortunes of the Liberals, Eagles, and Dockers – tissues supplied! Pitt was called up to assess the run and based on this Polecat was awarded 9 out of 10.

Dinner was pasta with Bolognese sauce served with garlic bread – excellent!
Where else would you be on a Monday

On On
PD

Anzac Day

It is a day to reflect on the cost of liberty and the fragility of peace.
From the bugle’s haunting Last Post to the recitation of the Ode, these traditions connect us to our past and to each other. They remind us that our nation was built not on fleeting ideologies but on the enduring principles of sacrifice and solidarity.

The sacrifices of those who lost their lives in conflict oblige us to defend the values they fought for: freedom, fairness and the right to call this great nation home (Cory Bernardi 2025).

The traditional Anzac Day Run was organised by West Coast and were joined by Perth, Hamersley and Bullsbrook. After the run a brief service was led by West Coast and a Hamersley member read a moving story on his uncle who lost his life in the mediterranean while being shipped from the middle east to Italy as a prisoner of war. The ship was attacked and 150 of the 600 POW’s on board lost their lives. His uncle is now buried in a Greek war cemetery.
The circle then took on a lighter note and Sir Knob had a down down down for the club – a Hamersley member said that he was on his way home a few weeks ago and noticed Perth Hash in the area. He went home , changed and returned to the circle to find that PH3 had packed up and gone – all before 8.30pm! Lots of derision from Hamersley but it was interesting to note that on a show of hands there were many 80+ members in their club – even more than ours.

The circle eventually ended (as usual probably a bit too long which is the norm when Hamersley are involved) and we were treated to a meal of Subway. A note to the committee, there should have been another box of rolls as some missed out on the 2nd roll.

A great night and thanks to Basil Brush and Point for arranging the night, Horse and Pitt for the bottle and can collection and Xmas and Polly for wagon duties.

22 April 2025

A smaller-than-usual pack assembled at Pembo’s new Palace just around the corner from the old one. Pembo sent the runners one way (look for check on next corner) and runners the other way (go thru hole in fence) Easier said than done for large infirm Hashmen (like Dicky and Phantom) and many others.

The walkers gingerly picked their way around the pit to the railway line where they were accosted by a failed Al Kaida guard who explained, hand on baton, that we must go in a different direction, which was OFF trail. We then walked to Bannister Rd before retracing our steps to Home after about 40 minutes.

The Runners fared no better, could find no trail, and dispersed amongst themselves to dribble back to Base after about 50 Minutes. It was then that things started to look up. Pembo’s nubile nieces, SOFIA and CHILLY, were on hand to distribute charm, drinks, chips and eye candy. What is your reply if Chilly offers chips and says, ‘Would you like a nibble !!!!!!!’

EMU stood in for the ON SEC and welcomed Raindrops, Grandad, and Blowfly (Maggot’s Son). He told a joke about a Scottish wedding where he mistook the bride’s mother for a dog and the Pembo told us about Dick’s wife being unfaithful to get him elected to the golf club.

We then moved on to a banquet of Prawns, 2 meats, cauliflower, potato, pumpkin, and fruit, not forgetting red wine and scotch.

What a night- How can a bloke win the DUNNY SEAT and GORDON BLEU on the same night?

ONYA Pembo
On On Phantom.

Manning Lake, Hamilton Hill on 14 April 2025

As we entered the park we were reminded that we were in Wanju country. 30 hashmen rolled up for the run including Codswallop and Raindrops. Codsie arrived in his converted school bus and could have been awarded the prestigious Wilson’s Parking Award but was excused because of it’s size and limited space of the parking bays.

The On Sec welcomed the visitors and Emu then gave a welcome to country and brief details of the run. About 12 runners set off but the walkers were hesitant – the western suburb contingent hadn’t arrived and were therefore leaderless without the presence of Phantom – no leader and no map so the decision was made to do a couple of laps around the lake.

The On Sec had the visitors up for a down down, Skid as a returnee and then Bushie whose crime was that he was asked to do a computer report by the On Sec but was hesitant because he didn’t have the authority – the On Sec likened it to an explanation by Sir Humphry Appleby out of the TV series Yes Minister. The On Sec finished with a joke about a Scotsman and Mr Trump – Colonel always enjoys jokes about his favourite person – Donald J.
Antman gave a brief report on Scummie and we then sang the down down song which was recorded and will be played back to Scummie when he next visits him.

The RA had Sir Knob up and presented him with a brown paper bag containing a few rolled up dollar notes and a thank you note – a reminder of a previous life. Prairie Dog gave a critique of the run and Dickie with his complex scoring system gave them a score of U for Unbelievable and 8.7 – calculated 12.6 for the run, 7.4 for the venue and 6.7 for the food totalling 26.7 divided by 3 = 8.7 – simple really.

The food were hamburgers with all the trimmings and quite delicious. A great night and our thanks to Xmas for attending to wagon duties.

Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions – Winston Churchill.

Ocean Village Shopping Centre carpark

You’d expect a run set by two experienced Hashers to be good and it was.
Hilly City Beach did not disappoint and there were plenty of hills that even slowed Red Dwarf. I recall seeing him down the bottom of one of those hills and he actually looked quite small.

Good use of walkways, well marked, plenty of falsies, no holdups.
The weather was perfect, as was the half-moon for lighting. The isolated car park is ideal.

Run was a bit short at ~5km, about 45minutes, and 13 runners.

Tucker was a tasty mild concarne and plenty of it.

Another enjoyable night. Thanks, hares.

On On Emu

Rollerrama Kalamunda on 31 March 2025

You can feel a change in the vibe when you leave the flatlands of the coastal plain and enter the rarified air of the Perth Highlands (Hills). Random locals smile, start conversations, and two kickboxers even joined us for part of the run.
About 10 runners set off through forests, along mountain bike trails, gravel tracks, suburban streets, and semi-industrial pockets. Luckily no falls. Both the walkers and runner’s trails were well marked with Pitt switching to the walkers mid-way. The false trails & checks were cleared by Red Dwarf with assistance from Q, Soft Rock, APITW, & Nanny. Run was measured at 6.7km in 60 minutes.

At the circle On Sec Rimmer called up returnees Gumby, Triple J, and Horse. Budgie & Pig Trap for talking. Birthdays – Phantom. RA Dick Tracey called up Moses, Phantom, & Triple J for various slurs relating to his weight-loss program. Red Dwarf gave the run-critique, noting that there were too many trees, and that Kalamunda would be better served if they were all cleared to make way for high rise development – aka Hong Kong? The run was scored at 9.8 and well deserved.

Dinner was Thai Chicken Currey with all the extras – delicious!
Where else would you be?

By NOT THE AUTHORISED SCRIBE OF THE WEEK
A very grand run of 6.78km on a warm evening after a stinking hot day with 12 runners and lots of walkers who came in 20 minutes after the runners 55min/75min.

Await the PD tome which will be well worth waiting for and see the supplement first (maybe)

This evening we saw one idiot arrive for a Hash run with his Hash bag securely ensconced in his walk-in robe. What does one do on a Monday night at Hash without Hash kit? You borrow the change of clothes kit a mate had planned to use. Thank you Crayfish; I had the spare shoes but a walk in work clobber hardly appealed.

To the Hare. Memorable quotes:
1) I hate anchovies and will never serve them for my Hash meals.
2) Facebook is a heap of crap and I will never ever have anything to do with it or read the PHHH facebook page.

The principles in 1) lie in tatters. Botak made a huge effort and supplied anchovies, which were gone pretty rapidly disproving the common belief that the culinary class of our Hashmen is in the peasant category. There is now a rumour that for those of us that make next year, half of Botak’s pizzas will come with anchovies. Crayfish and Moses now await Botak acquiescing on 2) as well.

The Circle was most entertaining and a credit to Rimmer, Tricky and the peanut gallery led by Budgie.

Where else in the world could you possibly want to be on a Monday night
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