Author: Bushranger

Run 2868 – Pembo’s Easter Parade

22 April 2025

A smaller-than-usual pack assembled at Pembo’s new Palace just around the corner from the old one. Pembo sent the runners one way (look for check on next corner) and runners the other way (go thru hole in fence) Easier said than done for large infirm Hashmen (like Dicky and Phantom) and many others.

The walkers gingerly picked their way around the pit to the railway line where they were accosted by a failed Al Kaida guard who explained, hand on baton, that we must go in a different direction, which was OFF trail. We then walked to Bannister Rd before retracing our steps to Home after about 40 minutes.

The Runners fared no better, could find no trail, and dispersed amongst themselves to dribble back to Base after about 50 Minutes. It was then that things started to look up. Pembo’s nubile nieces, SOFIA and CHILLY, were on hand to distribute charm, drinks, chips and eye candy. What is your reply if Chilly offers chips and says, ‘Would you like a nibble !!!!!!!’

EMU stood in for the ON SEC and welcomed Raindrops, Grandad, and Blowfly (Maggot’s Son). He told a joke about a Scottish wedding where he mistook the bride’s mother for a dog and the Pembo told us about Dick’s wife being unfaithful to get him elected to the golf club.

We then moved on to a banquet of Prawns, 2 meats, cauliflower, potato, pumpkin, and fruit, not forgetting red wine and scotch.

What a night- How can a bloke win the DUNNY SEAT and GORDON BLEU on the same night?

ONYA Pembo
On On Phantom.

Run 2867 – Emu & Co-Hare

Manning Lake, Hamilton Hill on 14 April 2025

As we entered the park we were reminded that we were in Wanju country. 30 hashmen rolled up for the run including Codswallop and Raindrops. Codsie arrived in his converted school bus and could have been awarded the prestigious Wilson’s Parking Award but was excused because of it’s size and limited space of the parking bays.

The On Sec welcomed the visitors and Emu then gave a welcome to country and brief details of the run. About 12 runners set off but the walkers were hesitant – the western suburb contingent hadn’t arrived and were therefore leaderless without the presence of Phantom – no leader and no map so the decision was made to do a couple of laps around the lake.

The On Sec had the visitors up for a down down, Skid as a returnee and then Bushie whose crime was that he was asked to do a computer report by the On Sec but was hesitant because he didn’t have the authority – the On Sec likened it to an explanation by Sir Humphry Appleby out of the TV series Yes Minister. The On Sec finished with a joke about a Scotsman and Mr Trump – Colonel always enjoys jokes about his favourite person – Donald J.
Antman gave a brief report on Scummie and we then sang the down down song which was recorded and will be played back to Scummie when he next visits him.

The RA had Sir Knob up and presented him with a brown paper bag containing a few rolled up dollar notes and a thank you note – a reminder of a previous life. Prairie Dog gave a critique of the run and Dickie with his complex scoring system gave them a score of U for Unbelievable and 8.7 – calculated 12.6 for the run, 7.4 for the venue and 6.7 for the food totalling 26.7 divided by 3 = 8.7 – simple really.

The food were hamburgers with all the trimmings and quite delicious. A great night and our thanks to Xmas for attending to wagon duties.

Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions – Winston Churchill.

Run 2866 – Action in City Beach

Ocean Village Shopping Centre carpark

You’d expect a run set by two experienced Hashers to be good and it was.
Hilly City Beach did not disappoint and there were plenty of hills that even slowed Red Dwarf. I recall seeing him down the bottom of one of those hills and he actually looked quite small.

Good use of walkways, well marked, plenty of falsies, no holdups.
The weather was perfect, as was the half-moon for lighting. The isolated car park is ideal.

Run was a bit short at ~5km, about 45minutes, and 13 runners.

Tucker was a tasty mild concarne and plenty of it.

Another enjoyable night. Thanks, hares.

On On Emu

Run 2865 – Pig Trap in Kalamunda

Rollerrama Kalamunda on 31 March 2025

You can feel a change in the vibe when you leave the flatlands of the coastal plain and enter the rarified air of the Perth Highlands (Hills). Random locals smile, start conversations, and two kickboxers even joined us for part of the run.
About 10 runners set off through forests, along mountain bike trails, gravel tracks, suburban streets, and semi-industrial pockets. Luckily no falls. Both the walkers and runner’s trails were well marked with Pitt switching to the walkers mid-way. The false trails & checks were cleared by Red Dwarf with assistance from Q, Soft Rock, APITW, & Nanny. Run was measured at 6.7km in 60 minutes.

At the circle On Sec Rimmer called up returnees Gumby, Triple J, and Horse. Budgie & Pig Trap for talking. Birthdays – Phantom. RA Dick Tracey called up Moses, Phantom, & Triple J for various slurs relating to his weight-loss program. Red Dwarf gave the run-critique, noting that there were too many trees, and that Kalamunda would be better served if they were all cleared to make way for high rise development – aka Hong Kong? The run was scored at 9.8 and well deserved.

Dinner was Thai Chicken Currey with all the extras – delicious!
Where else would you be?

Run 2864 – Botak

By NOT THE AUTHORISED SCRIBE OF THE WEEK
A very grand run of 6.78km on a warm evening after a stinking hot day with 12 runners and lots of walkers who came in 20 minutes after the runners 55min/75min.

Await the PD tome which will be well worth waiting for and see the supplement first (maybe)

This evening we saw one idiot arrive for a Hash run with his Hash bag securely ensconced in his walk-in robe. What does one do on a Monday night at Hash without Hash kit? You borrow the change of clothes kit a mate had planned to use. Thank you Crayfish; I had the spare shoes but a walk in work clobber hardly appealed.

To the Hare. Memorable quotes:
1) I hate anchovies and will never serve them for my Hash meals.
2) Facebook is a heap of crap and I will never ever have anything to do with it or read the PHHH facebook page.

The principles in 1) lie in tatters. Botak made a huge effort and supplied anchovies, which were gone pretty rapidly disproving the common belief that the culinary class of our Hashmen is in the peasant category. There is now a rumour that for those of us that make next year, half of Botak’s pizzas will come with anchovies. Crayfish and Moses now await Botak acquiescing on 2) as well.

The Circle was most entertaining and a credit to Rimmer, Tricky and the peanut gallery led by Budgie.

Where else in the world could you possibly want to be on a Monday night
.

Run 2863 – Stewie and Point – Maida Vale Oval – 17 March 2025

Perth and West Coast shared the night to celebrate St Patrick’s Day. Stewie and Point were the hares and 36 Perth members, 14 West Coast, 3 visitors in Kakka, Boner and Dave the Poms and 4 dogs attended the run.
The walkers and runners set off in different directions and we occasionally crossed the runners path. Into the loose gravel where Mumbles had his first spill and then his second on the bitumen where he hit the ground with a hell of a thud. Our thanks to Dickie, Sir Tom and Elbows for helping to get a visibly shaken Mumbles home. In this territory, it may have been wiser to have started the run at 6pm to give us that bit more light.
The walkers had to abandon hopes of finding the drink stops where we understand we missed out on a Guiness or Kilkenny and arrived back at the bucket well behind the runners who had completed a slightly less than 6km run. It must have been an interesting fast run led by Red Dwarf, Phranger, Boner and Kakka.
The circle was a shortened version with Jimmy Ramrod thanked for buying everyone a drink for his 80th birthday and down downs for visitors Kakka, Boner and Dave the Pom. They say Chunda is a little bit hard of hearing but not when Point said he had found a watch – no takers until he said it was a $30k Rolex watch and Chunda was up in a flash.
Sir Tom let us know how Scummie was traveling – we all wish him a speedy recovery – and Boner gave a critique of the run, awarding the hares a 11.5 out of 12. Food was an appropriate Irish stew. My thoughts are with Botak who has the unenviable task of washing 3 saucepans and 50 bowls. I was remiss in not getting a photo of the western suburbs limousine service departing with a driver and 4 passengers, all their gear plus signs, saucepans and bowls – as you can imagine a little bit squeezy!
It was a most enjoyable night and good to catch up with our West Coast friends. And thanks to all those who contributed to the running of the night.
And as you asked ………there are 25 club members or 46% of our total number of members who are still not on Facebook – two of them even hold positions on the Executive Committee. We have not been particularly successful in getting these people to sign up over the past few years and promoting Facebook will only happen if the committee gives it it’s full support.

Run 2862 – Pitt and Stewie – J Morgan Reserve Glen Forrest – 10 March 2025

One visitor in Boner, the official hash hound in Meeka and 30 runners and walkers were at the Glen Forrest run. A perfect location, perfect weather and an almost full moon made it an enjoyable night.
Meeka is the official hash hound as she has paid her 2025 dog fees – take note other dog owners. A few weeks ago, Sir Tom set his 50th run which prompted us to ask Pitt how many runs he had set since he joined PH3 on their 10th run. Statistician Bushie worked it out that it must be in the vicinity of 150 runs – unbelievable.

The runners set off but there was a delay in the walkers getting underway – a spat between Budgie and Phantom had to be sorted out which finished up in a compromise of Phantom keeping the map and Budgie leading the walkers. Budgie was very game in questioning Phantom’s role as head walker and should know better.

In his 2nd week, Rimmer is settling into the job and gave a very entertaining circle – he could be heard and we are starting to understand the spoken Scottish word. He had Boner up as a visitor, Elbows for staying the whole duration, Pitt for being reminded that he set fire to a brand new park table on his last run here, Nanny for forgetting the chips, Red Dwarf for having new shoes and Phantom and Reluctant for the Wilson Parking Award. Nanny redeemed himself for forgetting the chips by going to the local store and buying a variety of large packs which reminded us of the pre Covid days when sweaty hands went into the packs and towels around the neck were used to store a stash of chips. Reluctant was unfortunate to be a co-recipient of the award as he parked next to Phantom and had to park on the angle as a result of bad parking by Phantom – a bit unfair.

Dickie took over and had Sir Knob up for being on the front page of The West – the headline was Knob and a photo of Roger Cook but we got the connection. Pig Trap gave a very favourable critique of the run and Dickie of the walk. Both complimented the hares and you wouldn’t expect anything else from 2 very experienced hares. Under Dickies’s new scoring sysytem he awarded them a letter T and 9.5 for the run and 8.5 for the walk which equals 18. Adding 1 plus 8 gives a run score of 9 – makes sense to me. Thanks Dickie for a very entertaining circle.

Food was a beef and vegetable casserole – quite delicious. Thanks to everyone who had input to make it a very enjoyable night.

WBDFQ

Run 2861 – Blue Dress Run 4 March 2025

Great turnout last night, about 130 hashers enjoyed the balmy autumn weather to attend the 26th Blue Dress run, hosted by Perth Harriettes.
There were two trails marked, a walker’s trail and a runner’s trail. They were basically very similar. The sunset as a backdrop to the city was sensational as we ran over the new pedestrian/cycle bridge with a name I can’t pronounce or remember.
Unfortunately, Franger, (from West Coast Hash?), had to show his running style and stretched the pack out over 500 m. This caused the back runners to miss the trail around the pub on the north side of the river. Not sure why we put up with him. Strava tells me I ran 4:43 km in 38m 20s. Red Dwarf managed to complete the run ahead of him though (even though it’s not a race).
Polly & Xmas had the Perth Hash bucket strategically parked near the action. It was well stocked with more varieties of beer than you can poke a stick at. It was suggested that we don’t provide splash for the 12 Perth Hashers to minimise the washing up before next week’s run. I believe that suggestion was lost in translation or ignored. Xmas has made a great bottle opener, and he tells me it can be used to open cans as well.
Cheese and crackers were passed around and APITW passed around cake that his wife had baked for the event
Mary Poppins, GM of Perth Harriettes, ran the circle and endeavours to keep it under ½ hour. Almost succeeded. She even relented and had all the clubs sing their hash song at the same time. Good idea and there were over 14 chapters represented.
The Harriettes put on a good spread, shredded chicken and salad rolls. A blue cake was offered for dessert.
A great night and Hamersley & the Harriettes were still going strong well into the evening when most of the PH3 members had already departed.
WBDFQ.
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Run 2860 – Seagull and Q – Midland Speed Dome Midvale – 24 February 2025

The father and son team of Seagull and Q set a run at the Speed Dome site, a perfect spot for a hash run – isolated, good parking and well lit but the architectural Pantheon pillars still intrigues me – I would like to know what prompted the idea to put them in front of the Dome which seem so out of place. It was the 1st run of the new committee and it is always interesting to observe the main players and assess how the year will unwind. Needless to say, Rimmer and Dickie did an excellent job.
The beginning of the run was in good shiggy, plenty of derelict cars and a trail bike course which would have tested the best of riders. The course took it’s toll with Phantom, AP and Pitt coming to grief. The run then meandered into the suburbs and Bushie measured it 7.5 km and the runners were out for over an hour.
We passed a memorial shrine for Cassius Turvey (see the photo) and reflected on how this poor 15 year old lost his life. On so many levels, it is an absolute tragedy.
Rimmer did his debut performance as On Sec and we learned 2 things – one he will have to speak a bit louder and two we will have to learn Scottish! Down downs were awarded to Emu for 49 years of hashing, Pitt and Jimmy Ramrod for whatever, Crayfish for buying everyone a drink to celebrate his birthday and Elbows and Q for being the fall guys for a joke.
Dickie had Phantom, Pitt and AP up for coming to grief on the run (see the scars of Phantom in the photos), Bushie for being the Mark Zuckerberg of Perth Hash and then the hares. Nanny did a critique of the run and awarded a 9.5 but was unaware of Dickies new scoring system. Dickie gave them a 7 for the walk, a 9 for the run which totals 16. 1 + 6 = 7 so the run was awarded a 7 (seems logical to me). Who are we to argue with this new unique scoring system.
Food was an excellent rogan josh beef curry with white rice and yoghurt – absolutely delicious. Well done to both of you as you both put a lot of effort into the night.
Mastitis was spotted in his 2 day old Toyota EV. He will now be introduced to the new phrase – distance anxiety!

Run 2859 – AGPU in Garvey Park, Ascot – 17th Feb 2025

Set next to the aged “Garvey Park Artists’ Studios” …this being no reflection on the average age of the elite athletes gathered for this auspicious, invitation only, AGPU of the Perth Hash House Harriers, and it’s secretive unveiling of the powers to be…the incoming 2025 “Sir Knob’s Mob” Committee!
The run was a Phantom special through a mixture of riverside, bushland, parkland, swamps, and encroaching suburbia… well marked, plenty of FT’s and checks to keep the pack together, and the walkers seen several times. Late afternoon sun and sticky heat (33 degrees!) gave way to shadows and mossies, with the run recorded at 3.6km in 35 minutes.
Dinner was a fine fare with hors d’oeuvres of olives, cheese, crackers, and peanuts followed by prawns, then mains of Chinese fried rice and chicken & vegie stir-fry (courtesy of Crayfish) with plenty for leftovers. Token-free beer flowed with ample variety…what’s not to like!
The ceremony commenced with outgoing On Sec Pitt given a rousing round of applause, followed by the annual awards, and the calling out of the new committee – see the 2024 Hash Annual for details…another classy production by Hash-IT Bushie
WBDFQ
On On
Prairie Dog