Author: Peter van't Westeinde

Once the parking fees were taken care of and with a Ho Ho Ho we were off on the annual Xmas run from the very nice Matilda Bay. This year Moses and Mastitis set a short run which just set us all up for a nice brekkie of bacon and eggs with mushroom and sausage washed down with sparkling wine and orange juice and beer.A great start to a Friday morning.Merry Christmas to all Hashers and have a safe and happy festive season.

About 40 Hashmen pitched up to Ocean Village after a hot day to a not so hot breeze in a good location. The hare/co-hare of Action and Polecat produced a fine run in respectable temperatures, good running territory with good parking and good food.

19 runners (a record in recent times) set off on a run up and down dunes with all the slopes the hares could find. Distance 5.4 km for those who avoided many false trails and a bit over 6km for PITW, Nanny and Q brigade. 54 minutes according to TomTom.

The circle almost headed into HHHH territory for the major matter and world importance issue of 50 c per week. For those not there, this is not a joke but how it was.

However, nothing could spoil another Monday night in paradise with lots of beer and great chilli con carne. Good job Action and Polecat.

Breakfast run to follow at the Rotunda on Hackett Drive at 07:00 Friday.

39 Hashmen rocked up for a treat by Chunder and Haggis.
 
Weather – brilliant.  Same for location, parking, access and the meatloaf and salads with beetroot in good buns tukka was ample and top notch.
 
17 runners took off behind Piggy and the group distance went from 5.8km and 52 min to Nanny’s group who did a creditable 6.4km is said time.  A super run with very clever false trails in triangles using the mini parks truly well.    The hares decided checks were for sissies so there were none. 
 
A top run – Good job gents.
 
Where else could you possibly want to be on a Monday night?

FRENCH TICKLERS VALEDICTORY RUN

It was a rather disappointing crowd at Frenchies final run set  for
Perth Hash along with his co-hare The Mole. He joined Perth Hash on
Jan 3 2006 Run 1873 and finished on December 5 2022.  He was also
hashing with Warwick, Ballarat, Krakatau hashes. His keenness was also
evident on the number of times  he served on the committee, six times
over the years. The run at Cockman House had plenty of parking and
lighting. There were no complaints about the run which amazingly had
the runners and walkers finished back at the bucket at the same time
in about an hour. The circle had the usual down downs and jokes
before we headed off for a scrumptious feed of chicken and chips.

ON ON
Chunder

The pack & six dogs gathered on a cold windy night at Kingsley Football Club. It is 20 years since Kingsley lost team members in the Bali bombings.

18.02 the pack set off with the walkers following Kingsley Dr south to the shops. Phantom lead them along various streets including Creaney Dr, Shepard Bush Dr, Lambeth Pl, Newham Way Park, Wimbledon Dr, Mitchell Freeway bike path, Hepburn Ave, over Kingsley Dr, east through the overgrown verge shrubbery, Gilmore St, Canis Cl, Cetus Crt, Dalmain St Primary School, Holborn Cl, Mortlake Pl & Shepherds Bush Dr again. The pack split with Birdman short cutting home and Phantom trying to find the home trail. Off again heading east in Shepherds Bush Dr again (maybe he has not seen it for a while), Chiswick Pl, Stratford Pl across the oval & home at 19.12.

The runners came in at 19.30 after their drink stop. The chips were opened and the circle started at 19.40.

The run was a bit long for the older members and nicely compensated by great food, even some leftovers for the family. Well done, Mastitis, Neon, Moses, Flasher and Polly the parrot, I mean pirate.

OnOn

Horse

A run site we have used before offering good shelter, which was a good job as the rain began as the pack assembled for the run just before 6 o’clock. After a minute’s silence to recognize and honour the late Queen Elizabeth II, the walkers, at least half a dozen canines and even a reasonable pack of runners headed off into the fading light of the evening and threatening rain which came and went throughout the run, light and not so light. I was walking with the runners and for a while kept up with the likes of FT and APITW, but after a while I found myself with some of the “back-runners” somewhere around Angove Street with no sight or sound of the pack,  nor any sign of chalk. So we made our way east towards North Perth, then headed back towards the start which turned out to be reasonably close to the actual run route.  Great timing as we came in with the rest of the pack, who claimed the run was around 6.5km, although a lot of chalk was washed out and Q pulled out a map to help make the run a success.

All Walkers, Runners and Dogs returned safe and sound, and gathered under the very adequate shelter and the circle got under way with a down down for Neon for talking in the Circle followed by birthday boy Skid who also supplied a carton for the boys. Also noted was Sir Knob and Conman who weren’t present but also were also celebrating birthdays.

Soon to be birthday boy Top Gun was awarded a DD for his birthday next week on the 22^nd September, for which our duly elected Prime Minister has deemed to be a public holiday, not only for Top Gun’s birthday but also as a national day of mourning for The Queen.

Rumpole put out a call to help load a container of dentist equipment to go out to the needy people od Sri Lanka next Tuesday (20^th Sept), if you are available to help please respond to Rumpole.

Mastitis got an anniversary DD (although I seem to remember starting Hash in February – go figure), new member Pig Trap got one for falling on the run and breaching the blood rule, Neon (again) and Q for breaching the new shoes rule.

Upcoming events mentioned were the Paella Lunch on Sunday (18^th Sept) at Raindrops’ place – if you intend on going please pay $25 to the Hash account and let Ringburner know – must have final numbers by Thursday 15^th. Also next week at Mastitis’ run in Kingsley it is also International Talk Like  A Pirate Day, so come dressed as a Pirate (you know you want to BUSHIE).

Our RA awarded the night’s C#%T Of A  Driver Award to Pembo for crashing in to Top Gun, and Elbows was the recipient of a recycled mother-daughter joke.

For the tough conditions, great walk and run, good light and shelter (despite having to duck out into the rain to find a beer at the Bucket), and good food, Hare Crayfish and Co-Hare Prairie Dog were awarded a worthy 8.5 by the RA.

Meal was crumbed chicken burger in a role with cheese and coleslaw – very nice. Thanks for a great night Crayfish!

ON ON

Mastitis

A new venue for many including the scribe (Moses) and a good one too. 27 or so Hashmen came out in the cold to a fine Hash location and the weather improved from arrival to departure with not too much wind and it warmed up too. The map is missing as after a holiday one finds it is not difficult to select the wrong program and end up with a record of the time of run and nothing else. So 10 runners set out at 18:00, 2 went missing fairly early, near home we had a dual pig escape with Piggy and Pig Trap thinking “on home” meant that. It is actually only to give one hope as there is then a 1km lead down Lloyd Drive back to the bucket. There was some good marking and areas where Rimmer and Triple must have been looking at some skirt or other as trail was a bit uurrrggghh.Must have been near 9km run in 1 hr 18min with six runners staying together for the duration.Excellent summer run and pretty good early spring run too. Plenty parking and light and heaps of bush too, contrary to the mumbled pre-run delivery in an unknown language.

Welcome new member Pig Trap. Short cutting at your inauguration run is not a good move and being influenced by His Piggyship is a bad start. Room for improvement!

SEAGULL – KALAMUNDA
WET & WILD PARK
SEAGULL couldn’t have picked a better night. With the run starting from the car park at Kalamunda’s ‘Wet & Wild Park’ and the storm hitting Perth at 5pm, it really turned the situation into a Wet & Wild night. Seagull wasn’t wrong when he asked why we hadn’t brought our Speedo’s as we were starting the run at the West & Wild park and going to be swimming on the trail. He wasn’t wrong. Seagull took charge, as a good Hare, and nominated Q to be a Live Hare, so the pack wouldn’t get lost whilst looking for the chalk that had washed away.
There was good bush running through the many tracks around and through Kalamunda, albeit wet and dark. It was good running and swimming territory and the flour held well throughout run, considering the volume of water around. The trail took us around Kalamunda, through bushlands and brought us back into town. The pack was surprised how many under cover car parks there were in Kalamunda, giving a chance to temporarily dry before the trail took us back outside into the streams. More of a swim than a run.
Fortunately Grizzly’s work mates actually got the forecast right, where most runners came with spare dry clothes, to warm up before the circle started.
In normal fashion, our illustrious On Sec, got the circle started. With the pack huddling under the small tin roof, even Pembo was struggling to be heard above the background (at times foreground) noise of the heavy rain on the tin roof. The Down Downs included Perth Hash putting up with Pembo for 23 Years (well done PH3), Neon and Seagull as Returnees, Pig Trap as Visitor along with his fellow being, Piggy, Tomarse for interrupting the circle after Ringburners Sowndowner pitch and Phantom getting frustrated trying to explain the
difficult concept of a Restaurant Run. Our Stand-in RA, Sir Knobb, did an excellent job appointing Crayfish as his Joint Minister (following latest Parliamentary Protocols), getting Elbows up because he complained about
Sir Knob’s joke involving a Mail Run, as he prefers Female Runs, and awarding SeaGull 9.12 run score because of the good run territory, good marking with glue laced flour and good shelter from the wet & wild weather. In addition, the vegetable Sheppard’s Pie was a hit – hot and perfect in wet weather. It must have been a treat, as Rumpole had four servings…..

SEAGULL’s Water fall

I could not believe my eyes when 30 Hashmen turned up in totally inclement conditions. The Western Suburbs Warriors were sorely tempted to stop and stay at the Kalamunda hotel but loyalty to the hare won out.

We started in light steady rain with the running pack led by Live hare Q going one way and Walkers led by local guide Stewie in another direction. We all met briefly mid run.

Once again the Kalamunda pub looked promising but Birdy being the only one with access to funds was not prepared to buy for the mob so we soldiered on thru the shopping centre where BIRDY led a few on a short cut only to link up with Stewie again.

Walkers beat the real runners in by about 4 minutes so it was a well planned run.

The rain then BUCKETED down testing the gutters of our Water Park shelter. PEMBO called up a couple of guys for Birthdays but cartons were lacking and PEMBO had a 23 Year Down Down.

RA SIR KNOB told an old joke which few of the Demented group remembered from last time and then with Constitutional approval invested Crayfish as his Assistant RA. If Morrison can do it so can he.

We ate a very tasty Shepherds Pie, lots of it, but no chilli sauce for those who crave.

A bloody good NOT ruined by the weather. 

Good effort Lads  Deserved the 9.25  awarded

ON ON Phantom

Thirty nine Hashmen including Tom’s good mate Halfway from HHHH were treated to a great winter evening in a good location, with good weather, parking, run, walk and feed. What more could one ask for?A contingent of 16 runners were hugely impressed by the brilliant marking and heaps of checks with some false trails for the 30 minutes until we missed a laneway or two and got into a spot of bother. However, Nanny took that extent of trouble to a new high when a three way check attacked by FT, Q and Nanny had our intrepid bugler running 1 km out to Marmion Ave and then back before turning a 7km run into a 9½km version. The inputs of Christmas were evident in the latter section of the run, but it all worked pretty well and we even got back to the Onon in 50 minutes ahead of and together with the walkers.The short circle was followed by a great, tasty and hot feed of chicken curry and rice with light fluffy rice far better for ±60 portions than this scribe manages for one.

Great job SirTom and Christmas – a credit to Monday PHHH nights.

Write up provided by Moses