Author: Moses

NANNY & ELBOWS AT GRINDLEFORD RESERVE BALCATTA

11 December.

Today was a sad day for PHHH with the passing of Ace [Howard Smythe] this morning.  Ace was a member for 37 years and we one of our quieter members who was respected by all. He will be missed.

A top slightly warm evening presented and Nanny set a very fine run in familiar territory though with far more development with runners and walkers satisfied.  Elbows presence for setting was in doubt.  The co-hare did, however, man the bucket admirably.

The parking skills of PHHH were again on display with a new show.  APITW managed to need a 6 point turn to get a Corolla in a bay suitable for Dollar’s RAM and after failing he then moved to a forward park on the opposite side of car park.  Ramrod did not disappoint and parked as per always.

About 35 turned up with visitor Putrid.   There were 15 runners tonight with more running on the green stuff with flour in abundances.  When we were on bitumen the marking was ample and easily followed.  Bucket loads of false trails kept bringing the pack together with distance covered 7km for the plodders and something over 8km for the front-runners with Putrid running past our group at least a half a dozen times.

The Circle was a punctual affair with the urgency of getting to bed apparent.

• Visitor Putrid welcomed back.
• Birthday – Ringburner 64 with reference to being on squeeze duties. Not OJ.
• 26 paid.  Name and shame for non-payers before Christmas,
• Q got a down-down for only charging $20 pm for AI management service. Detail missed.
• Phantom had a minor misadventure leaving his phone in Uber heading to XMAS lunch
• Reluctant has our sympathy for a far more significant related event when his keys (all of them) did not accompany him to the lunch and they have not re-surfaced with huge security and cost implications.

OnSec joke concluded that Fitzroy/Brisbane footballers are a lot classier than those from Richmond and Collingwood; though the activity described suggest this starts from a very low base.

RA joke victim with a wayward daughter described paraphrasing what daughter set out when she and boyfriend Mohammad joined the re-elect Albo Committee.

To the run – RA expected nothing less from fundi Nanny and scored a 9.1.

Tea was very fine silverside with salads and mustards on buns and there was planet for the 35 Hashmen.

Where else could you possibly want to be on a Monday night?

 

­

 

From His Honour – Horse

We waited for Q to join the gathering, as Emu was getting toey and Sir Snob was waiting for Budgie to finish his preamble.

The pack headed off west and the walkers waited to head east, an unexpectedly good walk around the streets of Como with some bush. Was 32 degrees at start, but cooled down nicely as the pack ran, so no over-heating problems.

Horse waited for Mumbles in George St and both waited for the female DEFS volunteer to connect the hose into the hydrant in Baron – Hay Court, was this little fire exercise an Elbows decoy. Mumbles decided to walk south on Kent St as the pack had not waited for him. Scummy & Botak waited as the walkers crossed Hayman Rd into Thelma St and onto the Bucket.

The walkers did not wait, before having a slightly chilled beer, all water and no ice in the eskies.

The circle started with out Elbows (off getting the signs & food) and Emu reported; well marked, no real holdups & drink stop. Length ~7.5km in 1 hour and 5 minutes, 11 runners. All good as that was an Elbows short run.

Emu could not complete his rant, so we waited and had another warm beer. Sir Knob did not have another joke, so we waited and Horse advised the pack of next weeks run will be in the style of a last centuries run, grass seeds & shiggy. We waited and Xmas told his shortest joke in his twenty two years of Hashing.

Some could not wait & left, Top Hat had a small snooze and Pitt collected the empties. The wait was worth it, for around 8 o’clock the RR chicken was served with hot chips, straight out of the fryer. Elbows quickly lost 5 points, but in true Hash moral was re-credited because it wasn’t his fault. Now wait for the score by Emu, a nine. Great balmy night in the burbs.

 

OnOn Horse

Following extensive harassment from Moses and Sir Knob I present the run write up for Monday November 13, 2023.

 

After a stormy, humid day we arrived at Skid’s favourite spot at Tompkins Park, Attadale.

Shortage of feet and parking were not good portents for the night. The big question of clockwise or anticlockwise routes to Wireless Hill was heavily debated.

Great to see PH3 legend Sperm as Skid’s co hare. Hope we see more of you at hash Sperm.

Our Hon Sec welcomed visitors Sperm and Shakin before the packs set off on what was promised to be a 7.3km run. To be fair, the run was very well marked, with the predicted route over the f….highway at peak hour (!) and on up to Wireless Hill, where the approx 15 runners met up with the approx 21 walkers.

After emerging our of the park’s eastern boundary the run headed further east (without your more sensible scribe) to Riseley Street before turning north to the river and home.

Well set, well marked and predictable.

Runners 65 minutes, walkers 55 minutes so well done.

The circle. Ah the circle. Bloody hash!  Any other song pls!

Ok Nanny tried, starting the circle with the club song. Cost him a down down too.

Highlights were:

A moment’s silence for Saturday’s Remembrance Day observation, which was, as always ,well respected.

An equally well said and received thanks from Shakin’ for PH3 attendees and well wishers for Melva’s funeral.

Nanny and Cue took a D/D for something trivial.

Rumpole (just for being Rumpole?)

Haggis 42 years in hash.

Moses for (another swan dive into mother earth)

Elbows (moi!) for gkw.

Sir Knob for telling old jokes without a license.

Run was awarded 8.4 points with the usual acclaim and right-wing presumption of accuracy from RA Emu.

Dinner was very good and plentiful fish and chips.

Usual great night. Fantastic weather, good run and good company.

Well done Skid and welcome Sperm.

El Beaux/ Elbows

 

Write up plagiarised with direction from Skid, a late arrival for the run.

The late spring run was at a grand location and with ideal weather. Not wet, windy nor stinking hot. However, a sweat was worked up by all.

The hill-billies were in attendance with:

Boner running to the run with a back pack of bricks probably, doing all the FTs and then hopefully not running home,

Pig Trap arrived on his trail bike,

Dave the Pom with magnificent training labrador,

Visitor Skippy from Helena Valley.

Stewie led the walkers and no complaints.

 

A bit shy of 30 Hashmen pitched up and 12 runners started with 10 coming in after an hour and a few a bit longer. The pace was pretty high as those who did not do many of the false trails ran about 8½km with Boner & APITW doing all bar 2 and most respectively and running 10ish km.

Pig Trap joined the duo for the run in up Palm Terrace.

The marking was excellent and lots of good use of FTs. The RA awarded 9.0 for the run

Triple J has a notoriety for getting lost in bad locations, the one in Benara Rd and this one both with no street lights not the best. In the event Phantom, Pembo and Rimmer went out and located him with no harm done.

Dinner was Chicken Rogan Gosh & rice and the high food settings for 2023 were again maintained.

Good effort Seagull and Q

The circle was delayed for the Triple J search but all worked out well and the circle was a brief but effective one with jokes to a high standard.

Onon -Skid direction with substance plagiarised from Crayfish and Moses.

 

 

 

Sometimes I wish I was a ‘betting man’!

“There’s only one way you can stuff this run up!” proclaims Mastitis at the start of Run 2791 at Barridale Park in Kingsley.

• I’ll take those odds!

“Turn up?” shout Elbows from the restless pack.

“OK, there are maybe two ways you can stuff this run up” Mastitis continues, “that, and if the chalk has been washed out by sprinklers!”

Well, even two ways, may have been an underestimate as the ensuing events unfolded.

The pack set off looking for the sprinkler-washed-out trail, first this way, then that. Already 10 minutes in to the run and we had barely left the confines of the car park.

Retracing our steps we found the trail, which several seasoned hashmen had simply run passed (and not, I might add, in the direction of the arrow).

Anyway, thankful that a trail, of sorts, had been found away we went.

Subsequently, there were plenty of long FTs and checks which kept the pack of runners together, in fact so much so that on one occasion Triple-J was seen to be the front runner!

Nearly an hour into the run and home was still a dim glow at the end of the tunnel. Which is an interesting analogy because being a run at the end of October, when the days are longer, a hashman doesn’t usually bring a torch, but alas for those that returned to the bucket after nearly 90 minutes of running/walking the sun had already departed.

Eventually, with all hashmen accounted for, there was plenty of beer and banter at the bucket.

Redemption for the early stuff -up was almost served on hot platters in the shape of lasagne and salad, with plenty to go around and seconds for the hungry.

Despite the many ways this run could have been and was, stuffed-up, it was another great night of hashing.

On on

Seagull

 

 

 

I arrived at the run site on time (for once) and there were mutterings that it was a lot cooler that evening than it was the week before. But good running weather. Probably good walking weather. A reasonable mob of about 38 rocked up, and after Bushie showed us his various forms of navigation (chalk, flour, bog roll) we were off to a cracking start, immediately taking us through the back streets and alleyways of North Perth. We started with a kind of long loop to the South which gave us the theme for the night – false trails, and plenty of ‘em. We came round the back of the lake and the run took us what seemed like a long way north, many back alleys we had run before and many we hadn’t. And more false trails, some pretty long. The runners started as a pack of about 14 but at some point in the first half we split and even the hounds couldn’t keep with the front runners. At 7:00 we were at the northern end of the run, where we stumbled across a very nice drink stop offering port and soda or splash. After that it was a fairly simple run back without too many FTs, running past everybody’s favourite mechanic, Del’s Autos.

Back at the Bucket, the circle only got going after a stray and her dog that Sir Tomarse had befriended were asked to move on so the men could get on with their secret business.

We had returnees Gnocchi, Botak, Birdman, Sir Tomarse, Conman and Ace (but Ace had already departed). Colonel was the butt of a joke about his bad golf and bad sex (maybe a true story?) and Sir Knob took a DD for taking the fall for the joke about the surgeon’s best patient, being our in-house politician.

Moses pulled a win in a port raffle with ticket Y53 (thanks Xmas for supplying this), and it wouldn’t be a great night without a limerick from Antman, this time about Botak and his wig.

The Hares were congratulated on a good run, in the most part very good chalk (and other marks) but I found some at the northern end were a little faded. Did I mention lots of (long) false trails? My phone said 7.8 km, but maybe I took a shortcut home. Extra points for the drink stop. Dinner was a wholesome chilli con carne and potato, very nice. Awarded 9.0 points.

 

WWYRBOAMN?

Mastitis

It’s time to recap our recent run, Run #2788, The Awesome 4 Some Run – Perth, West Coast, Bullsbrook, and Hamersley

Perth and West Coast set the run, Hamersley and Bullsbrook for the walk.

Start time: 6:15pm

About 70 people turned up for the run.

The weather, though initially cool with a breeze, mellowed down, providing us with a pleasant evening. The run was skillfully laid out, and for a more detailed account, you can refer to Moses’ report.

For the Walkers. There was one hill too many for me being the first one! I did the short walk with Dick Tracy. Runners and walkers managed to return within one hour, indicating a well-planned route.

The circle was primarily orchestrated by Hamersley, featuring a few down-downs and some good jokes! A special shout out to Pembo for bringing along two visitors. Dave the Pom, who was collecting for the Guide Dogs – a noble effort! Hamersley entertained us with musical limericks. With Hamersley musical limericks Dickie with his violin and Phantom for Opera – it could have easily turned into a good concert!

It’s always a pleasure to bring our clubs together – the camaraderie and good times shared!

The meal was good, funded by Conman and and prepared by Dick Tracy. We had steak burgers, chicken fillets, sausages, bread rolls, and a variety of salads – Entertained with the violin by Dick Tracy.

Special thanks to Nanny for the run, Conman and Dick Tracy for the meal.

All in all, a bloody good night probably one of the best nights we’ve had for a long time.

The run score was officially recorded as 7.5 should have been a 9.1!

We look forward to seeing you at my next run. Until then …

 

On-on,

Dollar

 

For a spring run, it was very somewhat chilly with an artic wind straight off the river.

However, off we went for a half lap of the adjoining oval, then a bit of street stuff and to the Maylands mosquito-breeding wetlands. A long stretch here with very few checks and falsies, so the pack was well strung out. A hash halt was called.

 

We had a young Canadian gazelle + backpack with us called Facial Recognition who made us all look like we were on flat tyres.

Anyway, under the Garret Rd bridge, then a few hills and back across the very same oval in 45 minutes. Distance about 5.6km – bit short!   Not enough checks and falsies and the pickups were too short.

However, a good run, good use of territory, well marked, great shelter and no delays.

There were 13 runners and a total of about 30.

 

Tucker – very tasty home-cooked corned beef, rolls and accompniants [new word for Scrabble].

Score 8.7km

Our on-on stretched out a little due to the finalization of the raffle, but we still managed to fit in a Christmas joke.

I’d like to make special mention of the effort of Polly & Christmas in solving the inaccessible van crisis, thus ensuring us desperates didn’t miss out on our alcohol fix!   Well done boys.

An enjoyable night – again! Blokes who don’t run/walk Perth gentlemen’s  hash each week don’t know they’re alive!!

On On Emu