Author: Peter van't Westeinde

MUMBLES’ STUMBLES

We arrived in beautiful tree lined AppleX to find that Mumbles had said to Budgie (his cohare no less ) I don’t understand you . It probably went downhill from there .
Horse made a great attempt to get the Wilson Parking Award after clanking noisily over the curb and then leaving the tail of his beaut Ute hanging over the exit road.
The map was provided to the walkers with the comment that “it doesn’t actually follow the markings as we cut it a bit short “ probably about 4 km short as it worked out
The fit bastards headed ,via a couple of FTs ,down to the river ,whilst the Geriatrics cut inside to join with so called fit bastards , at the local shopping centre
After a couple more well set FTs the pack lost trail ,caught up with walkers and asked for a look at the map ,which turned out to be as useful as a marshmallow in the oven .
Every one then turned for home with walkers straggling in about 10 minutes behind the back .
Probably a good run but a bit short and hard to find but we saw some good homes ,almost as good as the Western Suburbs !!

Botak

Write-up courtesy of Moses (Thanks!!)

The location proved to be pretty good and there were plenty compliments from the often not too generous throng. 45 pitched up and found parking. 20 runners headed off and other than the one massive leg down the beach (to which there was hardly an alternative) a most enjoyable 40 minutes and 4½ km for the pack and about 5½ km for the front runners.A typical entertaining circle with the hill-billies proving the highlight of the night with son forgetting runners, taking father’s and father walking in his patent leather dancing shoes. Gumby prepared well for the relevant song and after his great effort between the OnSec and RA the translation lost the plot. Founding father St Peter was welcomed back after a good while and JerryCan made an appearance. Birthday mentions a plenty.There was considerable amount of noise from the Hares Mumbles and Budgie but it too was not in English and so was lost. RA with support offered a 7.1 for a good run and very enjoyable and wholesome Subway tea.

OnOn

ANTMAN’S search for VIRGINIA GUIFFRE

After filling our fuel tanks and with emergency supplies we headed for Geraldton with much anticipation that ANTMAN would show us where Virginia G (Prince Andrew’s squeeze) lives,as she is said to have the most expensive house in Ocean Reef. No such luck
We have never been to this run start before – probably not this far North either! ANTMAN laid out the run rules -at each numbered box ring him for further instructions. Hashmen being what they are ran around like lost sheep when told, by phone, to check 3 ways. Most can’t count past TWO.
After the WALKERS rescued the pack several times via PHANTOM’s map the pack determined that the numbered squares were only checks anyway and the telephone bills dropped considerably.
We were given a generous tour of Ocean Reef and Connolly with the proper pack and PHANTOM’s disciples all arriving back around 7:10/7:15 .There was some suggestion that ANTMAN cannot spell False Trail but generally it went better than anticipated,although the pack was well spread out.
FT as usual , got a bit frustrated at not finding trail and with APITW and several others made their way back early to join BIRDY at the Bucket.
This is ghost written by a GHOST because MUMBLES did not participate far as he was helping COLONEL (of the new car WHY no DOWN DOWN ) clean up after the hound.
The RA (without Committee Shirt but with religious skull cap) dissed PHANTOM again about his navigation skills but Phantom got it right by Google Maps but not by Run Directions. Shut up and take your medicine Mr Walker.
POLLY has his hard work undone when it was discovered that his Hash Business cards carried a non conforming email address and EMU celebrated 46 years in HASH.
The spicy Brazilian soup and Cheesy bread was different and enjoyed but too hot for Dick Tracy. BIRDMAN felt it was not enough and we stopped for a Cheeseburger on the way home .
Night was topped off by fiery shooters Well done,if different, ANTMAN

Humility and Humanity in the Hash

As a result of the gazetted Hare unexpectedly entering the ranks of the permanently receded hareline, our noble and distinguished member Sir Thomarse, ably assisted by Santa Klaus, selflessly stepped in at short notice to organize the run. It was set in the leafy streets of Duncraig, in eyesight of Sir Thomas’ future abode.

Although I did not experience the full joys of this run, on account of Coco Channel going on sit down strike, it was by all accounts a well set and enjoyable experience. The circle was characterized by exceptional myrth and jollity and was followed by a delicious repast of Bondi cigars and cold sore.

As a result of Sir Thomas’ kind deed, I shall be contacting my boss in the Vatican putting his name forward for beatification.

On On Saint Thomas and a prayer for departing Hashmen.

Monsignor Reverend Titus  Antman-Fishbean

(Summer arctic expedition to North Albany)

And Emu aided and abetted by Gumby set a great run in Spearwood. To give us hope we could get to the OnOn without a cut lunch we were told it was in Beaconsfield. Yeah right!

Starting with the metrics the FRB’s run on the left added all the arpeggios to that on the right, the two at 12½ and 9½ km respectively in 1 hr 25min. 40 turned up and 20 ran. At the Coogee Communal Centre Soft Top and Mr Prick decided we had to head North and added ½ km to the run for the 11 that finished together. The 9 blouses (including Grizzly, Dozer + 8) whimpered home.

The route was found by Seagull and Nanny and the 20 were kept together by numerous FTs and checks. A 243 wagon freighter held up the FRBs for the triumphant 11 to return.

Highlights: Instead of a Highland Fling, Haggis did a magnificent attempt at flying on the pea gravel downslope, a roll of honour and a leap back up – most impressive. Bushie lead to way through the lookout with gaps between stone pillars. Aptly named Piggy followed, got stuck and he was prised out using Vaseline. There was a lot of mumbling from said quarter about losing weight for the remainder of the run

Great first OnSec rendition by Pembo with many compliments of being heard. A valiant effort too from stand-in RA Elbows.

Food was up to the standard of the run with fine quality burgers well-cooked by the Hare and this 9.1 is currently the scribe’s run of the year thus far.

A great night at Hash and well done all.

On On Moses

Great location in a secluded car park – I don’t think we have run from this actual spot before. Lighting was not a drag on the overloaded state power system, being a la natural. Shelter was the Milky Way. Weather – perfect. Was encouraging to see a large group of 50-60 hashers, about 20 of whom ran. Too many dogs. Good to see Rumpole back. A well set run I believe. Unusually, I was a walker, but my information on the run was from impeccable sources. Plenty of falsies, no loss of trail and about 50 minutes. On the beach, off the beach, then back into some expensive real estate. The drink stop was provided live entertainment by one of Pembo’s dogs who thought it could do what it wished when off the lead – no so thought a large black swan whose water skills were far superior to those of the said dog. The pack and walkers arrived back at about the same time to covid prepared dishes of cheese, biscuits etc. Nice touch. Plenty of good cold piss including VB. The results of the democratic election of the new committee  [the term democratic used flippantly like the current state government] were announced to traditional resounding applause. Tucker from our favourite mobile pizza man was the usual high standard. All in all, a good night of hash and well done to hares and organizers. I think Perth hash in 2022 will be much more fun than the Australian economy! So lets keep it politically incorrect. On On Emu