Month: July 2021

We had the Macbeth storm, but no witches. 23 pitched up with the bucket, held up on the Freeway long enough to distress GRIZZLY, but assisted by BUDGIE and Dozer, a frazzled driver parked at 6:00 on the nozzle. The wind and rain was severe until 6:00 until he that parts the waters worked some magic Nine went on a run with a very capable BIGGLES doing a great job of live hare, with some trail surviving. We had canine support with Dozer and Maggie in attendance and Meeka and Malone having more sense, staying home curled up next to the fire. We abbreviated the run somewhat and Q reported 5.5km or so. STEWIE took the 15 or so for a walk and by 7:00 we were all a bunch of happy campers, with just about enough cover for the 23 as we had a few showers come through during the circle.
During the one hour of hashing, both rain and wind ceased and the runners were complaining of overheating.
PEMBO looking dressed for Ascot car parking attendance duties could not stay away as he did not want any Hashmen eating without alcohol bathed hands. That is dedication. As a result he had to get to work at 5:30 on Tuesday. Good job Pembo.
The run. ELBOWS had a Polish cat of aristocratic heritage as co-hare with HAGGIS on bucket duty. The Hon. RA produced a score of 10.1 but being forgetful he failed to consider the deductions to be applied: Cover insufficient – 0.06; Hare constant interruptions and arguing black and blue due to failing memory – 0.45 and the doozie – forgetting the chips – 0.5.
Energetic ELBOWS provided the food from the local take-away and a piping hot individually packaged lasagne with garlic bread, all delicious and plentiful with a starter of olives and cheese satisfied the small but dedicated group. The Western Suburbs were not up to any representation. Tut-tut.
On on. MOSES

HARE: Moses. Co HARE: Jack Russell. On a friggin’ cold and bleak night and expecting the worst from the weather, 30+ intrepid hash souls gathered at Breckler Park Dianella. With Moses as Hare we expected a long but good run and evening. No disappointments yet but it was early with plenty of scope for problems.
First was that Moses insisted on parking the bucket, which is about 3m high, under a 2.5m high tree. That sorted we gathered in the bleak gloom with all seeking their household fires (ref: Thomas Hardy’s “Commonplace Day”)and realised that some of our finest were missing. Turns out they were at a birthday bash for Grandad/Larry/Looselips at his restaurant. Ooo..kay! (Why on a Monday night?)
Off on the run after Moses delivered the sermon from the mountain top (No flour, all chalk, now bugger off). About even numbers of runners/walkers which augured well. Walkers ably led by Stewie or so the pack thought until we realised he had disappeared without anyone noticing. All corrected by flashlight in the very dark and early gloom. A good solid walk right around the golf course plus some, very hilly and the full hour. The walkers were joined by Haggis very early cos the run looked too tough and the weather too Scottish.
The runners set off well and apparently separated early with Pitt and Polecat thinking independently of the pack but all getting in almost on time. They win the Viagra Award for the week for failing to keep up. Again the full hour loop without too many hills after going though suburbia, parks and bush reserves. Pretty good run with some long stretches but still dry if bloody cold even after all hashers mentioned they were sweating from the run. Good to see Grizzly back running after his accident.
Into the circle:
Visitor: Long Balls ex Carnarvon and Ding ex Hamersley who skived a beer and then went into the local clubrooms for a meeting.
Returnees: Gumby apparently.
Birthdays: Lasagna (Zero alcohol beers for a Dry July. Brave!) and Pembo (Guinness) Thanks blokes.
Down Downs were awarded for things I can’t remember or read cos I wrote them in the dark without my glasses but Haggis figured prominently because of the Scots/Edinburgh influence and Hon Sec’s singing in a foreign tongue. Gumby managed to come up with a different D/D song for each offender. Antman also scored one then tried to atone by offering Castelli wines for sale to benefit the club. Good stuff too. Speak to him directly for those.
The Hon Sec then managed to find another joke we’d all heard before. Doesn’t seem to matter at our ages, does it?
Emu helpfully pointed out that Nanny had stepped in his own dog’s primary output and both scored a D/D for that.
Biggles won the raffle and failed to draw the joker but scored a bottle of wine for holding the winning ticket.
The hares were awarded 9.24 for their efforts. Well done.
Into the tucker of superb silverside and enormous amounts of mashed potato. Really good effort there and a great night of good company and a few beers. Thanks Moses and Jack Russell. On On. Elbows

MASTITIS RUN NUMBER 2671
KINGSLEY FOOTBALL CLUB
The weather as forecast by BOM and not able to be influenced by Grizzly was meant to be nothing less than dreadful with 35kt winds and heaps of showers. It certainly kept away the less adventurous Hashmen, with only 25 attendees. The running numbers were abysmal, starting at 7 including the co-hare FT to make sure we did not get lost. As it transpired, most of the chalk (engineer grade white and yellow) survived reasonably well and we may have managed to stay on trail, but appreciated FT’s help. This bod stayed on trail for all of it and did a few less falsies than Q who clocked 8km whilst we all thought it was 7km or a smidge less. We meandered East, heading North towards Shepherd’s Bush Reserve, traipsed through that, checked out Barridale to ensure it had not been washed away, meandered thru the burbs, crossed Balmain and then looped round and back West and then Northwards through the bottle shop and home after a really good run in great running territory. A lot of walking so just under the hour.
Notes: 2 bugles and a horn out of 7. Q was sole front runner, guided by FT, with Nanny, Bushie, Emu, Moses, late arrival Polecat all aided by Meeka and Maggie.
Visitor – Wayne from Bahrain.
Cartons from FT and Soft Top, with Moses taking the down-down for Soft Top having summer in Bodensee.
Mastitis with Co-hare Neon are commended for a great effort, good location change, big effort on setting the trail helped by FT and an excellent miserable weather meal of roast beef with gravy, choice of rolls and coleslaw. Nibbles of cheese and biscuits noted.
RA scored it 9.97. Not a bad sort of a number really.
On On.
Moses

ITS A LONG WAY TO TIPPERARY

And a bloody long way from Dawesville to Wembley but I couldn’t resist a run set by the Dynamic duo Crayfish and Bushie, dogs in the car, wet weather gear and we are on our way humming that old tune ‘Stormy Weather‘. Freeways reasonable until Russell rd. and the heavens opened up and the traffic went wild, tailgating and changing lanes, standard fare.

Directions were perfect I arrived early and took Pepper round the oval for a walk, the disadvantaged group were doing skills training under the direction of an old Hamersley hasher Motor Mouth. There was also a colts group and a women’s team under the direction of a lady  who coached a league team, she gave a great exhibition of slipping on her arse and getting wet pants. The blonde with the pony tail won the wet tee shirt competition.

Crayfish and Bushie arrived, out went the placards and slowly they arrived with what was promising you would have to be a dedicated hasher to come and 32 turned up, I stepped into a 6 inch puddle and couldn’t feel my feet, Crayfish gave Motor mouth and myself a Muscat to help fight the cold, loads of dogs, Pembo with twins, Colonel and more , lots of arse sniffing and that was just the owners.  Ramrod arrived, then I heard Budgie from 50 metres away, we are set, hares are worried but its only light showers and they are off. Antman arrives having met a hurdle  before leaving, as old mates we settle down for a long chat, rain gets worse, we huddle under the shelter, soon lots more dogs arrived from lady walkers, one Rhodesian ridgeback tried very hard to get to the rolls.

Rain gets harder, The walkers arrive lead by Phantom and Birdman they all went straight to the Wembley pub now upmarket and made a dent in the beers, a sensible decision. First runner in is FT now surprise there but he may have short-cutted as the the rest of the runners lead by Emu came in at 7.30 pm Emu says 6 km but I checked the map and its more than that well 90 minutes is along run. Circle starts and then the storm, lightning, huge gusts of wing [over 90 kph] and buckets of rain we huddle round the heater. Ramrod carries on with the circle I get a down down, Sir Knob 5 years, Mastitis I think for working for Pfizer and not getting us any Jabs, all good fun. Crayfish arrives with KFC, chips, coleslaw and rolls and we tuck in Birdman commodores my chair I stay with the fire. I haven’t seen a storm like this for years but its home time on the Freeway normal idiots, home a hot shower and a couple of doubles and all’s well with the world. Top night for the true hashers. 9/10.

On On  Stumbles

Was it Ace’s run? Or was it Crayfish’s run? Turned out to be Crayfish’s run in place of Ace’s run as Crayfish’s run was cancelled last week due to COVID restrictions. Whatever. At the Wembley footy oval. ???
Weather was atrocious on the drive to the run, and everyone was getting prepared for a downpour during the evening. The hardcore runners, walkers and dogs set off in different directions. Well, maybe the dogs stayed near their owners (nobody else will).
The larger group – the walkers – were happy that the rain stayed away long enough for us to find the Wembley Hotel, where we imbibed in a beer and considered whether we used to be drinkers with a running problem, or whether we had got over the problem. The jury is still out. A light sprinkle on the way home, beating the deluge that was to come later.
A small group of about 10 runners led by live-hare Bushie went for a trot on a soaked trail with very little chalk to start with. Amazingly later in the run we saw not only chalk but flour too.
As it was, when the runners found themselves in a deluge and with a decision to either turn left into Subi and go for a Guinness or turn right and head home via Hay/Underwood . . . five went directly and four to Subi.
They got back after 45 minutes and 20 minutes later the heros comprising Pitt, Bushie, Triple and Emu arrived back at the Circle. Honourable mentions Stumbles came up specially for the run and Gumbie sang us some cheer. Ramrod gave himself a down down for telling the Circle that Ace’s run is in Booragoon next week. IT’S NOT – IT IS MASTITIS’ RUN IN KINGSLEY!
The shelter was adequate, the fire was terrific and the Kentucky Fried Chicken, chips and coleslaw were well received while the squalls came through. Great run in the circumstances. Got a nine point nine and a bit. Still haven’t worked out the scoring criteria.
Rained all the way home.

On On. Mastitis (with help from Moses)