Run 2670 – Crayfish in Wembley – 28/06/2021 Cancelled

Your Perth Hash 2021 committee have decided to cancel Monday 28/06/2021 run due to COVID-19 restrictions imposed by the WA State Government.

We thank you for your understanding of the PH3 Committee’s endeavor to balance our enjoyment of Perth Hashing with your safety.

Run 2669 – Joint Winter Bonk Run set by FT @ Mount Hawthorn

Run# 2669—Joint Winter Bonk Run at Britannia Reserve, Mount Hawthorn.

The hashers from Perth Hash, Bullsbrook Hash & West Coast Hash gathered in the car park at Britannia Reserve as the temperature dropped towards the forecast 4 degrees Celsius. For some reason the PH3 bucket was parked near a large puddle of water.

There were dramas earlier in the day when Ryan from Glendalough Liquor Store (now called Celebrations at Glendlough) emailed our On Sec, Ramrod, with this message ‘Somehow overnight the side awning on the bucket has blown our/been pulled out and is totally buggered.  We can’t move the bucket and it can’t be driven as is so will need to be looked at; thanks.’. Ramrod and Polly went to the rescue and removed the awning (apparently it wasn’t an easy task) and Polly took it away for repairs. The bucket was then drivable again, thanks to their efforts.

The run started off very cold with the overnight forecast of 4 degrees Celsius which I am pleased to report was correct as Grizzly may have been involved in the weather forecast.

The next morning my car management system reported that there may be ice on the road and displayed 4 degrees with an ice symbol which reminded me of driving in Italy at the end of December on the way from Paudua to Castelfiorentino (near Florence or Firenze as the Italians call it) when the temperature dropped from 1 degree to -2 degrees Celsius and the windscreen froze over.

The runners (out-numbered by the walkers ) gathered in Britannia Reserve prior to the start rugged up as if they were about to climb Mount Kinabalu in Borneo (Colonel would remember that—we climbed it in 2005).

FT addressed the runners before the start and explained that the run was set with chalk and  flour (what a surprise). What he didn’t add was due to not having a co-hare to vet the run the trail was not always that easy to follow.

Off we went with enthusiasm which quickly waned as we lost the trail time-after-time (not before time mind you). Several times Nanny was summoned so we could examine his map to where the trail went. A map with only some road names on it isn’t always that helpful. The fast FRB from WCH3 run up and down the streets searching for trail which they mostly found. When we got to the corner of Jugan Street & Goody Close we decided to cut our loses and head up the cycleway to the train station and cross over Mitchell Freeway (which was cleverly labelled on the map) on the footbridge & then head north.

Eventually we joined up with the FRB from WCH3 again.

Armed with inside information Bushie called the trail On On behind the Audi showrooms only to find a FRB already on trail there.

The trail was lost (or the hounds were lost) again in Glendalough Open Space. Bushie consulted the map Nanny had and concluded it wasn’t much help. So trail was found again in the traditional way (looking for it) and we galloped off onto Heard Way past Mother Hen Hampers, then south on Ellerby St and over Jon Sanders Drive. Then the trail turned east along Jukes Way, which should have been called Jokes Way, as that is where Nanny decided to head for home. I asked him for the map and took off after the FRB only to run into a FT on Harbourne Street. So your scribe abandoned the trail and ran after Nanny.

We ran down the cycleway next to the Mitchell Freeway (which was labeled on FT’s map). We saw one arrow where we joined the cycleway and then no more at all! Then over the footbridge and On On to home.

Dick Tracy fired up the PH3 gas heater and that attracted the usual crowd.

I took off to pick up the Pizzas and when I returned the circle was under way next to the only puddle in the car park.

Ramrod gave his sermon and called Colonel for reading the newsletter and spotting Ramrod had the date for the run wrong, Haggis for getting himself chips and forgetting his friends –  everyone else, Gumby reckoned FT should be changed to FU for down-downs.

WCH3 & Bullsbrook were invited to sing their hash songs and add to the proceedings.

Then Nanny claimed he didn’t get his time-slot so Ramrod invited him up to the podium. Nanny didn’t hold back on his critique of the run. He may have said (its hard to remember what happened on Monday night several days later) it was a good run that didn’t live up to its potential. Instead of his normal 9.3 he gave it 4.27 (or there-abouts). Nanny gave Budgie a down-down for shortcutting on the walk.

Elbows helped Bushie carry the Pizzas to the meal table then helped himself to a few slices. He was awarded with a down-down for his efforts.

Then the call was ‘foods on’ to which we queued to have our dermatitis inducing ‘goober’ applied to our hands (in the name of COVID-19 busting procedures) before selecting a few (or many ) slices of pizzas from the 7 varieties available.

Great evening, wouldn’t be dead for quids!

On On



(filling in for Crayfish who was on leave in Mandurah).

Note: The run was anti-clockwise (which the majority of runs are).

Run 2668 – Lasagna

Run 2668 – Lasagna, Gnocchi and Dick Tracey

Shelldrake Reserve, Stirling

As was expected … it was a dark and stormy night. Also there was a chill factor to the wind which was far from pleasant, but despite the elements being against us, the pack assembled at the now familiar park in Stirling. Certain members were heard to complain when NO PIZZA TRUCK was visible, but they could always stop in the Golden Triangle on the way home. A pack of 35(ish) Hashmen took off into the elements at about 6:05PM, and were quickly into the groove of the run. False trails and loops were obvious early, and to everyone’s surprise, FT took off over the freeway to find the false trail, and then didn’t stop grumbling until he disappeared off the back of the pack before we even crossed Jones St.

The run was a bit of a marathon taking most of us 1 ¼ Hrs, but the hares managed to keep the pack extremely closely packed most of the time (with the help of a few Hash Halts). With FT hiding, there was a new FRB anointed in Biggles, and he did a sterling job, taking to the checks and false trails often knowingly in the wrong direction, just to keep the pack together. Well done Biggles, who clocked up 11.2 Km’s, at least a Km more than your humble scribe.

On return to Shelldrake Reserve we were treated to individual packs of cheese, biscuits and sausage. Outstanding (on reflection it probably deserves a higher score). The circle degenerated into the usual rabble once the RA was let loose, even to the extent that the pack forgot to introduce me with the club song. Come on team, lift your game. Food followed and there was plenty of it, and very tasty it was. At this point it should be pointed out that the hare should have had points deducted for introducing cake and custard to the assembled masses. He should also have had points deducted for not finishing Nanny’s dortas car that afternoon, instead making her wait until after the hash run was done and dusted. Dorta was not happy and subsequently gave grief to said parent for introducing her to such a time poor mechanic (he does a good job though).

On reflection, of the pro’s and con’s, it has been decided that the run should be elevated in to the stratosphere and be awarded 10.91. This was how a hash run should be set, and even more importantly to the walkers, this is how food should be presented. Well done Lasagna and team, on a great night in difficult weather.

On On


Run 2667 – Rimmer in Warwick

Rimmer and Nanny, Hawker park, North Pole.

Another very cold night as Tripple J said, it’s not the cold, your just not dressed properly.

The pack set off on a very well set run, lots of false trails and a few checks. Didn’t know there were so many hills in warwick. Good use of lanes and parks. About ¾ into the run I got chatting to Bushy, lost trail, and found ourselves on warwick road and back on home.

Put some warm clothes on, Emu was asked to critique the run, very vague but got the job done.

Down downs were given and a new member was named biggles, good on you mate

Good warm food was served, washed down with a COLD beer. Great run, good food.

OnOn Lasagna

Run 2666 – Ramrod in Yokine

Around 40 Hashers turned up at Yokine Reserve for what was rumored to be the best run of the year as the Hares are two of our best, Ramrod and Scummy.

At six sharp the runners were off followed by the walkers, Budgie had Ramrods dug (Dog) on a short lead, “poor dug!” Well, how would you like to be tethered to Budgie on a short lead for an hour?

The walkers were first in, followed by the runners, and believe it or not there were very few complaints from either except for a few runners who (forgot their specs and or torches) got lost. I was told the run was 8.5 km.

When we got back the Bucket was in full flight with its wings out and the outdoor heater going full blast making it a very pleasant place to drink beer. Eventually, Ramrod took to the crate to give us his spiel starting with a welcome to our guest Jeff Mason, then our returnees Neon and Colonel got their down down. Lasagna got a down down for 30 years hashing. Budgie won the raffle but pulled the wrong card from the pack but still went home with a bottle of wine. Ramrod finished with his usual Glasgow joke and as a fellow Scot from neither Glasgow nor Edinburgh I can tell you that Glasgow people are very funny people and good joke tellers. Edinburgh people are not. They are too posh to tell jokes!!!! (Fur coats and nae knickers)

Supper looked very bland, being rolls with corned beef, salad, and relishes, however, it tasted delicious due to the quality of the ingredients and corned beef rolls went down very well with beer.