Run 2668 – Lasagna

Run 2668 – Lasagna, Gnocchi and Dick Tracey

Shelldrake Reserve, Stirling

As was expected … it was a dark and stormy night. Also there was a chill factor to the wind which was far from pleasant, but despite the elements being against us, the pack assembled at the now familiar park in Stirling. Certain members were heard to complain when NO PIZZA TRUCK was visible, but they could always stop in the Golden Triangle on the way home. A pack of 35(ish) Hashmen took off into the elements at about 6:05PM, and were quickly into the groove of the run. False trails and loops were obvious early, and to everyone’s surprise, FT took off over the freeway to find the false trail, and then didn’t stop grumbling until he disappeared off the back of the pack before we even crossed Jones St.

The run was a bit of a marathon taking most of us 1 ¼ Hrs, but the hares managed to keep the pack extremely closely packed most of the time (with the help of a few Hash Halts). With FT hiding, there was a new FRB anointed in Biggles, and he did a sterling job, taking to the checks and false trails often knowingly in the wrong direction, just to keep the pack together. Well done Biggles, who clocked up 11.2 Km’s, at least a Km more than your humble scribe.

On return to Shelldrake Reserve we were treated to individual packs of cheese, biscuits and sausage. Outstanding (on reflection it probably deserves a higher score). The circle degenerated into the usual rabble once the RA was let loose, even to the extent that the pack forgot to introduce me with the club song. Come on team, lift your game. Food followed and there was plenty of it, and very tasty it was. At this point it should be pointed out that the hare should have had points deducted for introducing cake and custard to the assembled masses. He should also have had points deducted for not finishing Nanny’s dortas car that afternoon, instead making her wait until after the hash run was done and dusted. Dorta was not happy and subsequently gave grief to said parent for introducing her to such a time poor mechanic (he does a good job though).

On reflection, of the pro’s and con’s, it has been decided that the run should be elevated in to the stratosphere and be awarded 10.91. This was how a hash run should be set, and even more importantly to the walkers, this is how food should be presented. Well done Lasagna and team, on a great night in difficult weather.

On On


Shelldrake Reserve Runners Club, Run #2

6th April 2020 : Nanny’s Awesome foursome run

What time does the 6 o’clock run start? 6 o’clock! Nanny, Lasagna, Gnocchi and Meeka (the dog) that totals the 4 to all you clever hashmen. We left Nanny’s place in 1 minute intervals social distancing. I have lived in Stirling for 35 years and didn’t know we had so many parks. That’s were my rates go to, nice green parks. We kept heading east, further away from home, I felt a Nanny marathon coming on. Another green park and finally we turned to the home direction. Another park, another park, onto yet another park. Finally Nanny said, 1 more park and we will head home. Gnocchi heard us from the front of the pack and sprinted back to Nanny’s house with Meeka.

Back at Nanny’s he had some nice cold home brew, and assortment of tasty beers. Well done, top run. Had wobbly legs walking home was it the marathon run or the home brew? Thanks Nanny.

OnOn Lasagna

Run #3 of the Shelldrake Reserve Runners Club

14th April 2020

Shelldrake Reserve Running Club, Episode 3

Lasagna’s Almost Laksa Run

As is becoming the normal pattern, we assembled in Lasagna’s driveway and discussed the fast approaching sunset and whether our new torches would get us through the run. Life is full of imponderables, isn’t it. We took off in the now regular, westerly direction to Odin Dr.  Left, then down all the way to Karrinyup Rd (fortunately Meeka found a very respectable front lawn to do her business, she very courteously chose a location right next to a bin) then right over the freeway. Then something completely different, we crossed over to the other side (NO, NOT THAT OTHER SIDE) of the road. Down a very sneaky alleyway and into the backwoods of Innaloo. This is new territory, and immediately we became aware that Gnochhi had failed to cross over, so we had to back track to find the slow runner (maybe he was off doing his own false trail, who knows what happens at the front of this pack).  It was then progress through the back blocks and parks that no one knew existed until they were found by the pack, and on past the George Hotel bottleshop – open and doing a brisk trade by the looks.

At this point, there was a total break with tradition and Gnocchi pulled out his phone and phoned his grandparents and asked if it was OK to stop in and say Hello, and make it into a drink stop and general family catch up and chin wag. So, on for another 500m away from the home trail, to find the grannies. Really charming people, obviously not due to Lasagna’s influence (Mrs Lasagna’s mum and dad). After 5 minutes Meeka started to give the pack a hard time, demanding that the run be continued. Back towards home and after a few moments we arrive at a second bottle shop, also well patronised. There must be a message here somewhere. After more parks and alleyways we find ourselves back at Odin Rd, and contemplate which direction to go from here. The hare decides that he is getting tired and thirsty, so it is decided to take the shortcut, using the walking path bridge over the freeway and come into the back of Osi Park Hospital. It’s at this point that there is a heated discussion about which of us is on the higher blood pressure medication. We decide that it must be me because I have one more daughter than Lasagna. Again we CROSS OVER TO THE OTHER SIDE of Karrinyup Rd, and are skilfully directed into a park. It wasn’t till we get to the other side of the park that we realise that Nanny has led the pack on a long track (opposite to short cut) towards home. Back to the Stirling Village Lake where Meeka is forced back onto her lead, before she can going swimming in the mud hunting the ducks (no daughter here to be forced to wash her tonight). Then more alleyways and parks, and we finally arrive at Lasagna’s pathway, and the long anticipated drink. The run was significantly longer than anticipated and Lasagna seems resigned to the fact that this will drag his score down from the previously anticipated 9.9 to a mediocre 9.5.

With drinks in hand, and long stories of bravado about our exploits on the run to Mrs Lasagna the after run session starts well. A few moments later she  re-emerges with individual plates of Sour Cream and Chive Chips. We quickly look around to see if Rumpole has arrived to purloin a few. SAFE. Even Meeka gets a few chips as she also ran quite well this evening. After a few quiet beverages the pack dis-assembles to their own corners of Balcatta, leaving Nanny to contemplate how many parks and false trails will be required to get a score above 3.7 for next week. Lasagna is a harsh scorer. Typical Committee Man, he’s in charge and tuff for everyone else.

OnOn till next run


Run 2609- Mole Burrows into Sandhills

Hare:  The Mole

Co-Hares:  Baldy

To paraphrase JJJ’s  report outrageously:
We  headed  north to Whitfords  Beach for The Mole’s run no 2609.

After a warm to hot day we were encouraged to bring our bathers for a swim. By the time we assembled the temperature had dropped under the influence of the sea breeze and living was easy so no one availed themselves of the opportunity.  Shame. Some of the local ladies looked ok too.

We were joined by Lasagna looking much the worse for wear after his tumble the previous  week in the hills.

A smallish crowd of about 35 gathered, buying raffle tickets like crazy in the hope of recovering their annual fees. 

An unusually jovial Mole grumbled slightly less than normal as he sent the pack off on what turned out to be approx.  8kms of very close checks and FT’s which kept the pack together really well and was very well commented upon by the pack. The walkers, ably led by NCO Dollar in Colonel Walkers’ absence on sick leave, followed a lot of seemingly identical streets before emerging very close to the bucket after about 45 minutes. Perfect and included a non-alcoholic drink stop. Not sure why but we did get a stern instruction about where to go from there by the Mole. It worked even if no-one listened.

The runners all appeared about 30 seconds after Polecat  who had short cut at about 100m from the bucket.

Returnees were Antman, Bushie and Park Ranger. Mole celebrated his 19th Perth hash anniversary with a smile (I think that’s what it was anyway- or maybe  gout). Xmas outdid himself with a good joke nobody listened to because his rendition is always more entertaining than the joke itself. Gotta love him don’t you?

Generally a very well regarded run and given 8 out of 10 I think.

Into the dinner of hot chicken, buns and salads which went down so well the left-overs were sea-gulled by Elbows, Horse and Lasagna. Gotta be good then, cos Lasagana and Gnocchi were seen eating it  for lunch the next day. Come to think of it: So did I.

Good  run, good night and good company. Well done Mole.

Now on to next week’s run of the century.


Run 2608 – Stewie & Dave The Pom

Stewie and Dave the Pom in Kalamunda

A pack of 40 hashers gathered on a balmy afternoon for a mainly bush run where goats would not dare to tread.
We were about half way up Kalamunda hill so it was a given that we will be scrambling uphill on pea gravel tracks for the next 40 minutes or so…. Dave the Pom had a fall the weekend before just setting the run, so injuries were high on the agenda.
The pack set off uphill, slipping and sliding with near misses from the start. Up, up and more up only too see a hazy view of Perth due to some bushfires down south. As we got to the top of the hill, we had our first casualty in Lasagne who took a tumble.
A bit of bitumen road, many false trails, then back onto the bush tracks to head for the drink stop. The pack got a little lost when they turned into bush only, but they soon found the drink stop at Dave the Pom’s house. Mulled wine was offered and we drank.
Pack got in in about 45 minutes.
Lasagne’s wounds were cleaned up by JerryCan and he promptly went home to get some sympathy from his spouse.
Stewie put on Lamb biryani and rice, which was a bit like Scottie’s Scottish Broth where you had to look for ANY meat in the soup. I think Stewie put in 2 chops and it was a bonus if you got it. Stewie also put on a 70 th Birthday cake to celebrate his milestone.
Next week back to the flat lands at Kallaroo – NO PEA GRAVEL…..

The Mole

Run 2607 – Mumbles

Hare: Mumbles with Co-Hares: Budgie and Crayfish.

Location: Leeming Bowling Club.

A balmy, January evening at the Leeming Bowling Club, on the southern boundary of Melville Glades Golf Club. Three highly experienced and thoroughly reliable PH3 Hares sat awaiting the arrival of the bucket and some 45 hounds. All anticipating an exciting evening of well crafted trail, circle and dinner.

Little did the assembly realize this was the hi-point of the evening as even before the starters pistol we were evicted from the bowling club car park. Sleuthing by Dick Tracey found that once Mumbles name was mentioned to the club president, the gates were immediately locked.   

Rarely deterred by such minor irritations, the mob set off at an impressive pace towards Karel Avenue and led by The Mole, newly invigorated after his extensive holiday break but with all others equally exhilarated by the prospect of a long fast run, even Horse was chomping at the bit.

Phantom, with the map grasped in his hand, launched into a sprint but after 50 metres his body gave way and the map was passed to Dick Tracey quicker than an Olympic baton handover.

Trail led the pack to the first falsie, which was in lieu of the standard loop. From then on walkers and runners separated until walkers met a deleted running pack at Peter Ellis Park on Findlay Street. Walkers had not seen trail and these intrepid and “lost” runners had also been suffering the same fate. Anyway after exchanging pleasantries such as “dead man walking” and where the FFF…flip is the trail the groups defined their own routes back to the bucket. (OUTSIDE OF THE BOWLING CLUB CAR PARK).

This evening clearly demonstrated that chalk is not always necessary to set a Hash run.

An entertaining circle conducted by triple J and French Tickler had the pleasure of joining Budgie (73) and Stewie (70) in their birthday celebrations followed by a splendid repast of ham rolls.

On On


Run 2605- Joint Run, Matilda Bay Reserve

The hash gathered at the traditional run site – the car park opposite the Royal Perth Yacht Club. It was well attended by members from various clubs including Hills Hash, South of Perth, Rocky City Hash, West Coast, the Harriettes, Hammersley and small numbers from other clubs. Perth was represented by approximately 20 members. The weather was chilly with a cool wind blowing from the across the river.
Rumpole arrived in the bucket without any assistance of a co-driver. Which could suggest that there may have been some hint of cowardice in face of the enemy by his subordinates? Still Rumpole manfully put on a brave face as he set up the bucket. Moses appeared, supported by the only canine at the event, together with his Finnish mate who took an instant liking for our golden throat rinse.

At 6.30, the tranquillity was suddenly shattered when Screwdriver announced to the world that he and Butless had set three trails so as to cater for various abilities of the aging pack: being runners, a walkers and a stroll to the drink stop trails. So the pack separated into their designated groups and headed off toward the University. Given that Rumpole had handed over the control of the Bucket to your semi illiterate scribe, the description of the run is pure hearsay. According to my informant, the run bore a striking resemblance to previous meanders from this location. A gentle stroll through the hallowed halls of
higher education.
On their return the pack was assailed by the Hammersley who conducted the Circle with the usual acknowledgments and charges: Virgin Runners, charges for indiscretions of the run, etc.
The Hares were awarded an 8/10 for the run.
The night was closed by all clubs singing their various Hash anthems
All in all it was a good night


Run 2606 – Ace without Rhino

The run without the Phantom’s phantom ( mainly Rhino ) who after being asked to be co-hare said yeah , no problem then went to London !!! As far away as he could possibly get !!! The run/walk started with a bang , we got a drink stop at the start of the run/walk instead of halfway thru as is normal .
The run started promisingly from the training ground for athletics with some great bodies , and that was just the blokes , it then meandered ( good word meandered ) thru to a ecological reserve , according to the expert on the ecology , Stewie , who said animals supposedly like these reserves to procreate and after they’ve procreated like to feed .
It then meandered up to Wireless Hill , where according to Skid , no dogs are allowed .
Hash dogs can’t read and then meandered down to The Ramble , THE STREET about 30 years ago , and then finally on home where our esteemed On Sec blessed us and wished us Happy New Year
The food was pizza , again , which was just a tad late , and one watering can later,  we all chuffed off.

Iwbdfq (Ed: I failed to be able to interpret this, bit like trying to understand Mumbles at the best of times)


‘I Wouldn’t Be Dead For Quids’


Run 2602 – Crayfish

Crayfish & Bushranger at Wembley Sports Centre

We all arrived at the Wembley Sports Centre, ready for a great run. Before the run start we were all offered bottles of water.

As we took off, half way across the park, we saw Nanny trying to teach his dog (MEEKA) how to fertilise the lawn.

We were lead over Selby Street and into the old Shenton Park Quadriplegic Centre, where we were given an automated Warning from a security device. Falling on Deaf ears, with the average age of the pack it was Deaf ears.

Crossing back over the train tracks and over a busy Railway road but being so close to Karrakatta cemetery, Seagull mentioned that if you were hit by a car you could hitch a ride on the bonnet to the cemetery.

Another few more kilometres running through Shenton Park and then on home.

We were greeted with Cheese & Biscuits. Chase the Ace is still alive as Dick Tracey failed to pull the jocker card. For dinner we were served Chicken Schnitzel burgers cooked with love and bare hands by the one and only Chunder.  

They were scored 8/10, Great run all in all!

On On


Run 2600 – Cans & Pitt

Hare: Cans Co-Hare: Pitt,

Rising to the challenge, most of us had our cars serviced and fueled-up, and tyres checked for an early departure to that Mecca of the Hills, Darlington, WA. Incidentally, Botak, your scribe, hails from the town of the same name, in the Northeast of England. Apart from the same name, the towns bear no similarity to each other! The Run started close to Darlingtons’ Swimming Pool, We departed almost on time, with a good-sized pack. We were joined by friends and fellow hashers from the West Coast. I think the size of the Pack was pre-determined by the prospect of Can’s reputation for putting on a good meal, with the prospect of a glass of wine, or two. Seriously, we were looking forward to a proper run in good running territory. We were not disappointed, but what would you expect when the Hare and Co-hare have almost 100 years of Hashing experience between them! There were lots of hills and, since it was a warm evening, some of us had our work cut-out negotiating the terrain and the gum nuts. We headed-out East through the “Nan MacMillan Reserve”, then followed a good trail up and down and round and about, to a Drink (water) Stop on Hanzell Road. The water was actually very welcome. Then on again uphill we returned, eventually, and over about 6 km in total, to the On On site near the Swimming Pool. The Circle was called and Triple J and FT officiated. Grizzly and Sir Knob were called as Returnees, both having been away in China at a Pan Asia Hash gathering. Our guests from the West Coast Hash were given a down-down, despite the fact that their beer came at our expense, but then, that’s what friends are for. The food was up to all expectations, with cold meats, cheese, buns and pickled onions. Cans generously provided wine for those who needed it, and a good time was had by all.

On On