PH3 Blog

Run 2119
Tihs run by viigrn hrae, Clouessau, alby astissed by Hsah vetaren ediroxnraatire, Ptoahnm, was set in Wleebmy Dnwos, Pnhoatm’s old smopitng gonrud. A lrage pcak geterahd at the run stie bferoe 6PM and ture to from Ploceat arvreid in his car bpeenig his hron and wivnaig a lgrae Dkorces falg. Wenirns are Ginenrrs!
The loop rnoud the oavl was pbderialcte and smoe erlay bsuh tiarls kpet the pcak gessuing. Ufnrultoateny eetihr icenrorct cnillag, sutcthinrtog or btoh and not to mineton any neams, Fcrenh Tckeilr, the pcak was soon siplt up itno mnay slmal grpuos wtih olny the warleks ponrvdiig a sfae hevan for tsohe wninatg to get bcak to the bkceut. (Aals, yuor sbrcie and his dnrnkiig cmoonpian Bsuhie cuold not fnid any pbus in the aera let alnoe one taht svreed Gnisnues!)
Bcak at the oonn a lrage cionnnegtt was aealdry itno the cphis and the cseehe and btciisus seipulpd by the hrae. Seiwte got the crlice gonig by rftecenilg on aneohtr ssceufuscl Hsah lnuch on Fdraiy. Dwon dwons wree areawdd to Xams for ssnihamg a btltoe of red and for Nnnay for pirnuog wnie oevr the tblae wlihe prneivg on the sioilnce mameimars of one of the lnuch gteuss at a nabery tlbae. A cpoule of vsoiirts wree gvein the usaul PH3 wnocele and sraeevl oehtrs wree awaderd to the usaul septscus.
The lnoe reiilguos aoisvdr Smcaubg was rnivelelg in his damonnit ptoiiosn due to the asebcne of Aantmn and we tgohuht for a memnot taht we wluod be sarped a dwran out afafir taht has tieypfid the jniot eofrft to dtae. Ture to from , Sumcmy did not let his old mtae dwon and the RA ssesion was as lnog and as preidabclte as eevr. The end of his sotiecn was senallgid by the snlffihug itno the food quuee and the vrey oniarrdy redtinion of the Culb snog “We go hnashig erevy Mdanoy….” Sisuoelry, tihs is bncoimeg mroe and mroe lkie a funreal digre. We need to snig it wtih the gtsuo taht wolud mkae its ceortar, Nedeels puord.
The food was a hhiighlgt and it geos to sohw waht can be aeecvihd by snmoeoe putnitg in a bit of an eoffrt. Wlel dnoe Causloesu on a top erfoft!

OONN Jaipae

Tripple J and Dick Tracey - Carine
“The hares, Triple J and Dick Tracey had been good to the RA’s, who had organised good weather for this evenings run. A good pack to start with a strong hold of Walkers and Runners for a short and leisurely run to get those limbs moving after a hard weekend. WRONG.

After leaving the Monash Reserve car park, the pack made its way through the meandering side streets of Carine towards the Freeway, where the pack split to go north and south. The northerners won it, and the pack regrouped to continue north alongside the freeway until Beach Road. Here we thought it would be a simple loop around Beach Rd until our return to the On-In. Wrong again. We meandered through the streets, lanes and parks towards the direction of Warwick Rd until the pack had spread throughout the suburb. The run was well marked and well planned because the Runners didn’t come across the Walkers, which meant that the Runners could get lost all on their own without any influence. Who knows when the Walkers returned, and for that matter who cares. However the runners started returning home after 1:15, with the laggers stumbling in 1 and a half hours after they started.

The circles had improved since the Committee Handover in February. Bill & Ben who typically forgot their glasses, the ink in their printers as well as their sense of humour, were starting to get their act together and remembering all of the above. The Birthday for all horses were celebrated with Horse throwing down a pitcher of formula as well as two large carrots that he munched on for the rest of the evening. Sweeny was awarded the Soft Cock of the Month for being too much of a coward to tell his mother in law that he had left her budgie out overnight and the cold night air killed it, on top of the other pets that he had killed or molested whilst under his care. God was welcomed back from his holiday in Europe and it was noted that he went as a couple but came back as Single, so is once again on the meat market. God told us about ‘Dont Touch the Grass!’ whilst in France . However, the circle wasn’t sure if he was referring to some other type of soft growth we all like to rest on. Before one could say ‘Foods On’, the queue was forty deep before the RAs had got halfway through their repertoire.

With the hare being Scottish, we had expected a Haggis of sorts, but were pleasantly surprised to see a sort of Irish Mexican mix. A Huge Hot Spud lashed with hot Chilli Con Carne. What a meal. So warm and tasty, it was hard to say no for another helping. In all, great long, long run, well marked, well planned, well entertained and best of all, well fed. Great Hash food. Well done Tripple J and Dick Tracey.”

Run 2118 Aug 30, 2010 Kevan Langdon Reserve, Karrinyup
Hare: 2nite (gone tomorrow) Co-Hare: Collins
Not so little helpers: Kyle and Nicholas

A virgin run - but very well reconnoitered, with 2nite confiding that after measuring the planned trail on Google at 7.92 km, he and Collins walked it, rode it, walked it again and regoogled it at 7.87 km before marking it out on the Sunday, only for the cloud burst Monday afternoon to wipe out all traces of chalk.
2nite acknowledged the mighty effort of Collins (just think of him moving that body quickly) and not so mighty effort of Kyle (now a light weight after losing 14 kgs recently on a holiday down south) as they managed to remark the trail before the pack arrived.
Numbers were down slightly from recent runs, probably due to the ominous looking heavy black clouds gathering to the west, as the pack left on a large loop around the Scarborough footsie players, training for their grand final confrontation with Boner’s Kalamunda bruisers next Saturday.
The trail then meandered west across Herb Elliott Oval , flirted with Trigg Bushland Reserve, with a nasty FT up and over a sand-dune, before bumping into West Coast Highway and heading back East, through Abbett Park.
It was a risk crossing Duke St late in the run with a couple of kilometers still to go, and many short cutters decided to have an earlier night than the fitter runners, like Pitt, who arrived back at wagon looking a little peaked, at 19:30.
In the absence of Phantom, down with gastro after attending Bandit’s daughters wedding celebrations on Sunday, the walkers were brilliantly led by that skilled bushman and geoscientist, Ayatollah and came in bang on 19:00.
After Stewie serenaded FT and Starkers about Mrs FT (don’t give up your day job Stewie) a couple of guests (including Tony from Adelaide and working with 2 nite) were given down downs, the birth of Sweeny’s baby girl was also acknowledged, and his donation of some fine NZ beer managed to ensure that we didn’t run out - until the very end of the night.
The circle was cut short as the RA’s joint effort didn’t last longer than 30 seconds. They gave the run a shockingly inappropriate 5/10 and then rushed to be first in-line at the food queue, stunning the expectant assembly, who sorely missed the brilliant half hour of banter the 2 clever raconteurs usually provide.
Master chefs Collins & Sperm prepared gourmet Boner hamburgers, combined with copious quantities of lettuce and tomatoes, and a surfeit of bread rolls, and left over sausages from yesterday’s City to Surf BBQ in Beecroft Park, ensured all comers left stuffed.
2nite will be missing in action over the next few weeks as he represents Australia in South Africa, trying to win the coveted World Hockey (tin) Cup.
We all wish him and his team mates success, and that they return (relatively) undamaged.
ONON
Clousseau

Fellow PH3 hashers,We have listened to your feedback and as a result last night’s sermon was short and sweet. We would like to apologise to the hare and co-hare for missing out the chance to score their excellent run.

The less flapping RA’s

Antman & Scumbag

Hare–said to be Flesh (but doubtful)

Venue:Bob Gordon Reserve Bull Creek

However there were no signs out so some dumb bastards drove around the reserve 2 x looking for the venue.
What a crowd! about 60 I would guess.
Anyway right on 1800 hours (that is 6 pm) off we went,and I immediately leaped into the lead.
Out on to Dirk Hartog I increased my lead until the first check towards Bass rd. Slowed me down a little there but regained the lead on Parry Ave. and into Dreyer Way. Some younger bastards attempted to pass me,but effortlessly picking up the pace I held them off with ease. Continued to Gleddon via a FT at Riches Way to Bourke Reserve. What a pace!! We turned for home on Ewing via Sellar Way ,Rocket Way (what an appropriate road –they must have seen me coming) Finally acrss John Creaney Park I arrived back at the bucket still ahead of the pack. Odds 1000 :1. Made a packet of $.
Good circle, great roast beef,but fuck it–I was second in the food line.

Mach1

Blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,  blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,  blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,  blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,  blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Forever flapping gums, onon.

Antman & Scumbag.

Monday’s run was set by Mk1 and Captain.

Weather was cool but the sky was clear and well over 50 hashers turned out for the run which started at McDougal Park Como.
The initial loop south of the park ended in a false trail and this was probably the last time the pack was together.
The trail then lead north alongside Canning Highway where the false trails were short enough to let the front runners loose.
A couple of checks at Brittain Str allowed some of us to catch sight of the front runners however by then it was 1830 and the leaders decided to ignore the FT at Penhros College and they short-cutted for home.
Heading back up Throssel Street we were treated to a well rehearsed display of animal communication when Sperm’s dog superbly wrong footed his master bringing them both to a sudden halt with one either side of a well lit lamp-post.
The more dedicated plodders endured a rather long winded soldiers’ course north as far as Monash Ave before we were directed south through Collier Park and Murray street. Gallant Polecat gave up the hunt around the South Perth tennis Club and short-cutted for home.
Somewhere East of Como Secondary College Birdman chased down a check and finding the trail decided to keep it to himself therby allowing Lasangne to assume command of the diehard tail enders.
Lasagne headed off down Goss Ave leading us on a merry chase well off trail away from the bucket and home, Eventually Lasagne admitted defeat and Antman sprang to the rescue leading us back up Davilak cres and eventually we slunk in the back entrance much to the amusement of our fellow hashers who having all short-cutted had been able to polish off all the splash and chips before we got home at 1915.
A short time later Stewie called for the circle and we were treated to another session of glorious self gratification well backed up by a series of false emails.
Amongst many others, Elbows copped a serve as representative of the Western Power Fire Starters and the merriment continued. French Tickler was again thwarted in his single minded endeavour to cremate Scumbags honoured lectern.
What can one say about Scumbag. If Scumbag was a GPS you could save a fortune on petrol by staying home. Even now noone knows what score MK1 and Captain were given for the run.
The meal was beans and sausage bits and being warm was eagerly devoured.
We ran out of clean plates but this minor shortcoming was more than made up for by the miraculous appearance of some metal spoons and forks which brought joy to several hashers for some obscure reason known only to themselves.
With the better weather approaching numbers are increasing and we need more beer.
Many hashers commented the run in this area is always the same which probably explained why so many took the opportunity to short-cut which was disappointing as running as a pack is really the aim of the game.
On On
Tonite

Dear Antman

I suppose it would be a matter of decency to write and thank you for your part in cooking for the Not the paella lunch.

I regret that this is not to be. After drinking your bloody capivara (or whatever it is called) cocktail, I was stopped at a random breath test on Lesmurdie Hill and blew 0.6. Not only did we have to spend $40 on a taxi home (my wife doesn’t drive), I lost 5 demerit points and received a fat fine.

If that wasn’t enough, that fajita stew, or whatever you call it, turned me into a rabid methane generator. The family weren’t too impressed but the real troubles started when I retired to bed. At precisely 11.30 am a sudden expulsion resulted in a lifting of the sheets, so high in fact that they tangled in the revolving ceiling fan! This wrenched the fan from the ceiling, leaving it to fall on my wife and creating a large gash on her head.

Having spent a sleepless night in the emergency ward at Charlie’s, I met the day with the worst hangover I have ever encountered, so bad in fact that I had to attend the doctors surgery. He informs me that it was due to acetaldehyde poisoning. What the hell do they put into that drink you gave me!

Thanks Antman, thanks for nothing. I won’t be attending any more Paella lunches from now on.

Your ex-Hash mate
Collins

Run 2115 GUMBY has a GO

It was back to our “HOME GROUND” Rosalie park where GUMBY and NEON used the $6 million parking spot to set their run. We welcomed the MEXICAN visitors (South of the Border), Rail Thug Harlot, Amorous Needle and Sartorial Deke along with Chirpy Budgie and a shortcutting speedster from Taiwan.
The run was a masterpiece of running round in circles or more accurately up and down one lane after another within a confined space. Then followed 5 falsies in a row before the pack headed briefly into Kings Pk only to rejoin Subiaco for another round of tightly locked lane running culminating in a brilliant figure of 8 which unfortunately split the pack. The front pack reached Subi Station and caught the Fremantle express (only joking) to Daglish for a 10 minute run home. The walkers had short cut to Daglish and followed trail home .The rest of the pack was hopelessly lost in Subi and upsetting the locals. RELUCTANT and visitor John had a hose turned on them giving RELUCTANT a set of very wet balls .The pack came in over a 15 minute period but most enjoyed the run.
Back at the bucket STEWIE tried to get some order with dubious Down Downs other housekeeping items. Then it was the turn of the RAs and ANTMAN told a disgusting joke against PHANTOM—as if he would cum that easy—he doesn’t have premature ejaculation like G-STRING did the previous week AND then SCUMBAG tried to say his bit—BUT he forgot BUDGIE was there - SCUMMY you have had it easy while the Budge has been away
The Hares got up for their Down Down which seemed to encourage GUMBY to launch into a couple of songs from the Christian Family songbook. Alleluia !!
Seriously though when the circle is going well and is ENTERTAINING surely we can wait a little longer for our food or do all you wankers turn into Pumpkins at 8:45
Good Run –Good Circle –Good solid food
ON ON FLESH

Presented by “Not Just Any Green Slab Of Clay”……

 

The rabble started on time and picked up the scent in a nearby side street. After 10 minutes of solid running, no falsies, no checks we discovered that we had done a huge loop. Using every known and unknown back alley in Shenton Park.

We were warned to take our torches for this very reason. It was also becoming apparent that Gumby had spotted a very fresh H4 trail and was intent on creating havoc for PH3 and H4.

So for something different we crossed into Kings Park, then back into the alleys of Shenton Park, by this time we had found a falsie but the pack was spread over a kilometre.

To add more difficulty to the pack we crossed Thomas Street for the third time. Still more alleys, it was as if the pack was disappearing up it’s own arsehole.

Another Gumby twist was using the H4 song stop to encourage PH3 runners to strike up a tune, Just as well that Rumpole was well behind the pack so he missed the PH3 rendition of “I like c***”.

Through more alleys in Subiaco to be confronted with a train ride to Daglish. While on the train Bushie was accosted by the Harlot’s mate demanding to see his ticket.

In the usual smooooth Bushie manner he advised the fat controller that Adam Broadhurst had sanctioned the free trip. The fat controller then demanded a bond of $50 that would be returned the next day when the free ride was confirmed.

Daglish to Rosalie Park through more alleys….. and at least 15 minutes for all the stragglers to get in.

The circle started with the usual of CHAOS of visitors, guests and returners (it was obvious that Budgie was back with all the chirping in the circle). The usual drinks were dispensed.

The RA addressed the pack and called up unsuspecting members to be involved in some joke telling, with the usual drink at the end.

All good parts of a run night must come to an end with RA2 mouthing off at the lectern, with much splash split and The Mole copping a drink for telling the truth.

Gumby and Neon were awarded an 8 for the run and we retired to eat pasta with bog sauce. In usual fashion I did not attend the run so didn’t have clean the plates and mugs. Besides I need to keep my unblemished record of not doing my share for my runs.

I would however like to thank the committee for their kindness in cleaning the plates and mugs for me.

Next weeks run is the I’m so vain “Bob Gordon Reserve”, Bullcreek with Baldy as co-hare. This will be the usual stuff up.

 

On on….. I wasn’t at the run Flesh