Write Ups and Blogs

Shelldrake Reserve Runners Club, Run #2

6th April 2020 : Nanny’s Awesome foursome run

What time does the 6 o’clock run start? 6 o’clock! Nanny, Lasagna, Gnocchi and Meeka (the dog) that totals the 4 to all you clever hashmen. We left Nanny’s place in 1 minute intervals social distancing. I have lived in Stirling for 35 years and didn’t know we had so many parks. That’s were my rates go to, nice green parks. We kept heading east, further away from home, I felt a Nanny marathon coming on. Another green park and finally we turned to the home direction. Another park, another park, onto yet another park. Finally Nanny said, 1 more park and we will head home. Gnocchi heard us from the front of the pack and sprinted back to Nanny’s house with Meeka.

Back at Nanny’s he had some nice cold home brew, and assortment of tasty beers. Well done, top run. Had wobbly legs walking home was it the marathon run or the home brew? Thanks Nanny.

OnOn Lasagna

Run #3 of the Shelldrake Reserve Runners Club

14th April 2020

Shelldrake Reserve Running Club, Episode 3

Lasagna’s Almost Laksa Run

As is becoming the normal pattern, we assembled in Lasagna’s driveway and discussed the fast approaching sunset and whether our new torches would get us through the run. Life is full of imponderables, isn’t it. We took off in the now regular, westerly direction to Odin Dr.  Left, then down all the way to Karrinyup Rd (fortunately Meeka found a very respectable front lawn to do her business, she very courteously chose a location right next to a bin) then right over the freeway. Then something completely different, we crossed over to the other side (NO, NOT THAT OTHER SIDE) of the road. Down a very sneaky alleyway and into the backwoods of Innaloo. This is new territory, and immediately we became aware that Gnochhi had failed to cross over, so we had to back track to find the slow runner (maybe he was off doing his own false trail, who knows what happens at the front of this pack).  It was then progress through the back blocks and parks that no one knew existed until they were found by the pack, and on past the George Hotel bottleshop – open and doing a brisk trade by the looks.

At this point, there was a total break with tradition and Gnocchi pulled out his phone and phoned his grandparents and asked if it was OK to stop in and say Hello, and make it into a drink stop and general family catch up and chin wag. So, on for another 500m away from the home trail, to find the grannies. Really charming people, obviously not due to Lasagna’s influence (Mrs Lasagna’s mum and dad). After 5 minutes Meeka started to give the pack a hard time, demanding that the run be continued. Back towards home and after a few moments we arrive at a second bottle shop, also well patronised. There must be a message here somewhere. After more parks and alleyways we find ourselves back at Odin Rd, and contemplate which direction to go from here. The hare decides that he is getting tired and thirsty, so it is decided to take the shortcut, using the walking path bridge over the freeway and come into the back of Osi Park Hospital. It’s at this point that there is a heated discussion about which of us is on the higher blood pressure medication. We decide that it must be me because I have one more daughter than Lasagna. Again we CROSS OVER TO THE OTHER SIDE of Karrinyup Rd, and are skilfully directed into a park. It wasn’t till we get to the other side of the park that we realise that Nanny has led the pack on a long track (opposite to short cut) towards home. Back to the Stirling Village Lake where Meeka is forced back onto her lead, before she can going swimming in the mud hunting the ducks (no daughter here to be forced to wash her tonight). Then more alleyways and parks, and we finally arrive at Lasagna’s pathway, and the long anticipated drink. The run was significantly longer than anticipated and Lasagna seems resigned to the fact that this will drag his score down from the previously anticipated 9.9 to a mediocre 9.5.

With drinks in hand, and long stories of bravado about our exploits on the run to Mrs Lasagna the after run session starts well. A few moments later she  re-emerges with individual plates of Sour Cream and Chive Chips. We quickly look around to see if Rumpole has arrived to purloin a few. SAFE. Even Meeka gets a few chips as she also ran quite well this evening. After a few quiet beverages the pack dis-assembles to their own corners of Balcatta, leaving Nanny to contemplate how many parks and false trails will be required to get a score above 3.7 for next week. Lasagna is a harsh scorer. Typical Committee Man, he’s in charge and tuff for everyone else.

OnOn till next run


Report of the Inaugural Meeting of The Shelldrake Reserve Runners Club

30th March 2020

Unbelievably, there was a congregation formed at 6pm on the front driveway at Lasagne’s house, the evening was cool and promised great conditions for a fast run. Considering the quality of runners involved, it was decided to split the pack into two groups (and to comply with the new draconian laws to come into force at midnight) and considering that there was a vast age gap there.

Gnocchi, Meeka and Alyse (Nanny’s youngest daughter) took off at the front of the pack, and were never headed as best we could see from the back of the pack. Lasagne and Nanny, making up the slow runners at the back of the pack set a furious pace (for us) just trying to keep those front running bastards in sight. As you would expect, we quickly went past Shelldrake Reserve and paid homage to runs past from this great location, and continued on down Odin Drive towards Karrinyup Rd.

The FRB’s were advised to take a couple of left turns into the false trails, which they refused. This only added to the antagonism between the front of the pack and the back of the pack, which Meeka tried to defuse the situation by running alternately with either the front or the back of the pack depending on the smells she detected along the way. There was a brief Hash Holt called just after we passed to the west side of the freeway. At this point, the hare pointed out (in no uncertain manner that the FRB’s could do some extra false trails otherwise their rations would be severely cut when they returned. Fortunately for all, they heeded this advice and were seen regularly going off in the wrong direction and having to catch up. Or, as I suspect really happened, Lasagne advised your faithful scribe to do a bit of shortcutting with him so we could keep the pack approximately together.

This was working fine until Meeka spied ducks on the pond and took off into the water. Getting in was fine, but getting out proved a challenge as the mud around the edges went on for a good 10 metres and it was sticky. We nearly had to send in a rescue party to get the dog out of the mud. It took us five minutes to start running again, as we were all laughing so much at the colour of the dog and sympathised with the daughter who would be tasked with cleaning the dog before it was allowed inside again.

Resuming the run through Gwelup, we eventually wended our way under the freeway and back to where the drink stop was the run of the year (last year), only to find that there was no one in attendance. At this point there was the accusation that your poor scribe was guilty of leading the pack astray last time by running through a false trail and dragging the pack with me. I pleading my innocence with no success as the spaghetti eaters repeatedly kept up their merciless attack on me. I gave in and ran with the dog alone for a while and sulked.

So we had to run on drink less.

As we approached the end of the run, those FRB’s succumbed to a false trail and allowed the hare and his slow mate to lead the pack in the dark, followed by the now dry Meeka, Alyse and last of all was Gnocchi. Drinks were waiting and handed out by the ever helpful Mrs Lasagne, but Rumploe would have been devastated because there were no Chips.

Next run is scheduled to start from Nanny’s driveway in a week at 6pm. It is promised to be a live hare run, but a week’s a long time these days. One thing is for sure, we won’t go past any lakes.


PHact (Perth Hash Awesome Cycling Team) riders rejoice

Fri 27/03/2020 6:38 PM

FT, Providing this is not fake news one would say Trump is good man “recognising bikers”

Everyone, you & your families stay safe.

Cheers Budgie.

Fri 27/03/2020 6:38 PM
Sent: Friday, 27 March 2020 4:20 AM

To: Botak ; Bruce Sleeman; Budgie ; Bushie ; Colonel ; Crayfish ; Moses ; Mumbles; Prairie Dog ; Sawbones ; XYZ

Subject: Meanwhile, in the good old USA

President Donald Trump leads the (fake) peloton!

Run 2613 – Mastitis’ All Black Run


This is testing the memory somewhat as we have since had and written up the Blue Dress Run.

However this intrepid Horn has decided to dig deep and recalls a damned fine run set by a seasoned Hashman with a pile of smarts even if tested by rain and having to re-mark the run at the last gasp.

So we set off from Blackall Reserve on an 8km or so run which offered plenty for the serious runners, but also leaving enough for the lesser folks such as c’est moi who only ran 7.0 km in the hour.

We headed South through a bit of bush and looped getting close to the Mitchell Freeway but cleverly avoiding crossing any main roads.

Then we stayed in a clockwise circle running up Coolibah Drive before heading back East and North past the Greenwood College and the West Greenwood Primary school and another loop to test us before leading us home back to the Reserve.

Then Larry the Man delivered an adequate and elegant meal of turkey burgers.

All in all a very good show and worth everything and more of the score given by the RA.

Run 2614 – Blue Dress Run with the Harriettes

As always the Perth Harriettes did a marvelous job for the Blue Dress Run, though I thought it was a pretty poor show to rubbish a distinguished and fit bunch of Hashmen, if a little decrepit in most cases, by arranging the event at Beasley Park, where there were a gazillion young footfall spunks over whom most lechered for the early part of the evening (please note that this verb is applicable to both genders).

In spite of all the muttering, there was enough parking and the 7:00pm start was not an issue.

The run was about 6.2 km and did a clockwise loop up to South Street, meandered along it finding a little bush to make it a little harder and longer and then we came back across Beasley Road for a dose of bit more bush and sand before heading through suburbia, to a drink-stop nice and close to home and then a gentle run in.

The Circle was to a high standard with participation by numerous clubs that I will not try and list here. There was much mirth and noise of course, and there were even interstate visitors, one of whom received a down-down for having been a member of just about every Hash club in Australia.

Good job Ladies.

We hope you were happy with the funds collected.

50th Anniversary Parliament House run photos

The Premier of Western Australia, Mark McGowan MLA, speaks to the hash chapters of Perth on the steps of Parliament House.

Mark McGowan MLA, on the steps of Parliament House addressing the gathered hashers (from the many chapters in greater Perth area). The Premier spoke about the benefits of running hash and commented that he has known Eric Ripper, former leader of the Labor Party, known to us as ‘Sir Knob’ for over 25 years. He went on to say he has never seen Eric looking better so Hash must be benefitting him.

The Premier then called ‘On on that way’ and depending where you where standing it was either to the left or to the right, showing that Hash is apolitical.

The Premier of Western Australia, Mark McGowan MLA, addresses the Hash on the steps of Parliament House.
GM greets Premier of WA
Perth Hash 2020 GM, Max ‘Horse’ Hore, meets and greets the Premier of Western Australia.
Is that chalk for marking the run asked the Premier?
Polly, On Sec of Perth Hash, gets to talk next.
Hmmm…which way does the run go, ‘to the left’?
Wagon & Cans.
Hamersley Hash have a photo opportunity with the Premier.
The Premier asks Sir Knob about the benefits of joining Perth Hash.
The signing of the Perth Hash T-Shirts.
Hashers of Perth.
What time does the run start?
Last opportunity to view the Perth Hash ‘Beer Bus’.
Great food was (self) served.
It wouldn’t be a joint run without Hamersley Hash! And South of Perth Hash House Harriers.
Sir Knob, RA of Perth Hash, addressing the hashers.
Our Chief Tugger, Rumpole, enjoying a small drink.
Meanwhile whilst the runners where hitting the streets the GM and On Sec (and St Peter, a founding member along with Cans who both ran on run #1 on 16/02/1970) were posing with the Premier of Western Australia, Mark McGowan MLA.

We understand ‘Sarge’ from the Perth Harriettes convinced the Premier to don the 50th Anniversary Perth Hash House Harriers T-Shirt for the photo opportunity.