Perth Hash House Harriers, Run 2631 14 September 2020
Hares, Dectective Senior Sargeant (retd.) Dick Tracey, Budgie
On a warm spring evening almost forty athletes gathered at Carine Open Space for the eagerly anticipated Dick Tracey run.
Before the start I inteviewed the famous detective, who, displaying commendable modesty, said he would give it a score of 9.5.
The packs set off promptly at 18.00 hours, runners in one direction, walkers a few degrees to the side. Within two minutes of the start, Phantom took a tumble trying to jump over a safety rail onto some steps. He handed the map to first deputy navigator Stewie and went to the local clinic for first aid. The GP persuaded Emu to drive him to hospital to get his hand stitched up. Ably guided by Stewie, the thirteen remaining walkers did a clockwise loop, staying entirely in the open space. Back in 44 minutes, having covered 3.8 km. Just perfect.
The runners were in soon after the walkers. The venerable Pitt scored it an 8, despite having to cross Reid Highway twice. Q gave it 7.5 ( I think, I seem to have inadvertently deleted the voice memos on my iPhone).
The circle was no more shambolic than normal. Several downdowns were awarded, deserved or not.
Dick Tracey served excellent chicken burgers with a very good selection of salads. No pots or plates to be cleaned by next week’s hare!
ON ON, Birdman
RUN WRITE UP FOR RUN 2630 ON 7TH SEPTEMBER 2020 HARE TOP GUN @ RHINO
The night commenced with a few downers.
1st downer, ACE the co-hare went home crook before the run even started.
2nd downer, TOP GUN couldn’t get the door to the premises open.
3rd downer, the snaggers and buns had passed their use-by date.
Apart from all that at least it didn’t rain.
SHAKIN and DICK TRACY helped with the cooking.
CHUNDER and BUDGIE sorted out the splash and bucket, filling in for ACE.
TOP GUN just walked around in circles trying to supervise.
The pack and walkers returned about the same time and were dry without any major grumbles about the run.
POLLY commenced the circle with down downs for DICK TRACY complaining about the ticket sales.
RUMPOLE for something to do with the joker.
SIR KNOB for a birthday.
POLECAT and MUMBLES for years of hashing.
POLLY finished off with a joke about a bloke with tight pants and no balls – still waiting for the punch line.
SIR KNOB gave ELBOWS a down down for cancelling the golf day.
ACTION won the raffle ticket draw.
SIR KNOB told the circle about a bloke who has a business called Coffin Confessions. He related that this bloke would be in demand from retired politicians wanting to offload on the opposition.
SIR KNOB forgot to mention the run. I checked with Q who informed me the run was about 8km and a map helped as some of the chalk was washed out.
The HARE was given 6 out of 10 and TOP GUN was happy as it was his highest score ever.
Free piss was on again and TOP GUN had to clean the barbecue. At least he did something on the night.
As a walker we followed the trail arriving back at 7pm
I believe the runners were on time as well
The rain kept away
We had lights and cover
The meal was excellent
Q: How do crazy runners go through the forest? A: They take the psycho path.
Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards? A: She wanted to gain weight!
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? A: The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup”!
Q: What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers? A: A virgin.
Q: How do you know when you’ve married a running enthusiast? A: When you have more running clothes than regular clothes in your laundry pile.
Q: Who is the fastest runner of all time? A: Adam, because he came first in the human race!
Q: If twenty monkeys run after one banana, what time is it? A: Twenty after one!
Q: What do you get when you run in front of a car? A: TIRED
Q: What do you call a free treadmill? A: Outside.
Q: What do you get when you run behind a car? A: EXHAUSTED
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? A: Run! She’s got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Why walkers do a run write up is beyond my intelligence
Run2628- Ringburner @ Swan Hotel Carpark
The run start, The Swan Hotel Carpark… We all gathered around and were told which way the OnOn was. Off we went and before we knew it we were crossing over Stirling Bridge, heading deep into Fremantle’s loins. Good use of the streets until we hit a 3 way check and were unable to find the OnOn. Down past the Army Museum and back over the old bridge to the bucket. Once we reached the Bucket, after a nice 7.5 km run, we were told that there was to be NO alcohol to be consumed in the carpark as Ringburner had pissed off the owner of the Swan Hotel.
We had 2 Birthday cartons for Emu and Flasher, lets hope Rumpole counts these correctly and brings them along to next weeks run.
Anniversary’s were Pembo ( 21 ) Rain drops ( 45 ) and Vespa ( 3 )
Sherlock and Pembo received the Parking awards, when will pembo learn!
No Shelter, No beer, but the food was plenty full and all in all was a good run. Although they only scored a 3.5 / 10.
RUN 2627: Who were the hares? Where was the run? Have we run there before? What did we eat? What day of the week was it? What day is it now?
Unfortunately, the H3 song (“we go hashing every Monday…” – thank you Nanny) can only help so much to answer such existential Tuesday morning questions for an ageing H3 membership. Luckily for you lot, I committed to memory some of the key points of interest of Monday night’s run. Another Prick in the Wall (APitW) ably assisted by his pubic hair co-hair, B’man…set a low carbon foot print run of approximately 5 km.
This being my first walking run, an experience in itself, which I’ll return to later, I am relying on hearsay to comment on the running part of the run. By all reports, APitW was trying to reduce his carbon footprint by being extraordinarily efficient in his use of chalk/plasterboard. He is estimated to have used 1 square foot (0.09 m2 for younger members) of plasterboard over 5 km of trail. I can attest to his efficiency…. After the run, I asked the hares if they had any plasterboard leftover for next week’s run. They gave me two small pieces of plasterboard which I think should be enough to mark 200 m of trail. Be prepared for a short run, folks, or another super-efficient low carbon footprint run.
By all accounts, the run was ‘interesting’. It started in a southerly direction, then a westerly direction for about half a km before heading north, north-west, east, south and eventually back to the bucket. Is that a fair summary?
As I mentioned above, this was my first walking run (or run with the walkers). A few weeks earlier I got an infection (no, not that kind) in my foot when at Moore River getting out of my kayak into knee-deep toxic sludge, and so was a hobbler rather than a runner.
The walking group was a surprise for me. They are not dodderers, as many of you runners might think. They kept up a brisk clip of walking and banter for the 5 km, that the walk seemed to be over before it started. I remember snippets of the conversation… plenty of bullshit of course, and discussions of old pub hotels in rural WA and various escapades of our older members.
Walking through a graveyard with a group of ageing hashers was disconcerting, especially when Ace took a tumble and dropped like a sack of loose spuds when he stumbled over a tree root. Hope you are feeling better, Ace. J
The On On at the bucket was good. Plenty of good jokes – wish I could remember them – and down downs for the usual sinners, including Scum Bag, Sir Tom Arse, the RA, Nanny and yours truly (twice).
Bulk pizza was shovelled out to the ravenous mob of hounds. The run got 8.4 points.
Thanks APitW and B’man for a good run.
Did Grizzly forecast the weather right this time?
The above was the question to answer prior, during and after run 2626 on 10th August. The weather forecast that I checked during the day showed a brief spell of “no rain” around the 6-7 pm but as we all know a forecast is a forecast and not necessarily correct as experienced during the last few runs. Arriving at the run side near Herdsman Lake that was not quite obvious as there where plenty of dark clouds and the temperature must have been around freezing pint or at least it felt that way due to the wind chill factor. Only a very few runners dared to go in short sleeves.
Pembo arrived as usual with his 2 dogs. As the parking lot was reasonably full at the time of his arrival he decided that the best parking place was near the bucket. However, in order to get that spot he had to move a tree a few cm to the south, which he tempted to do with his ute but was unsuccessful. He only managed to kiss the tree without obvious damage to tree and ute. For this Pembo received the “parking award” which was hotly contested and narrowly beating the other nominees Reluctant and Polly. Well done.
The pack of around 30+ set off at 6 o’clock (hash time so always late) with a short false trail as a start that served as appetiser for what was to come. Of course, the false trail was a “runners only” event.
For there remainder of the run there were plenty of false trails and several checks keeping the pack together. One of the checks was a 3 way check: left, straight ahead and right. However, there was no straight ahead unless one wished to climb a fence and go through the bush. This must have cost Grizzly 0.05 points for the run score later set by Goliath at 8.75 (we seem to go for more digits to differ between the various run qualities, so don’t be surprised if a future score comes out as 8.95555).
The run was well set and the front runners arrived home after around 49 min and 6.9555 km. The walkers arrived around the same time.
Now back to the question: Did Grizzly forecast the weather right this time?
The answer to this is “yes” and he must have accurately timed it as well. We all kept dry during the run but immediately thereafter the rain starting pissing down. BoM should give him a bonus for this.
As usual the ON ON was lively with Pembo taking on the RA role. Some down- downs: PH3 hash dog owners (the Claremont dog owners community that wishes to have the Claremont Oval considered a leash free area and which the Tigers are worried about because the dog s**t they may encounter, should come and join the hash to witness how PH3 dog owners are behaving like “responsible” dog owners), Botek, Pembo, APITW, Reluctant and probably a few others.
All in all a good run.
Another Prick in the Wall (ak APITW or Prick)