Category: Run write-ups

Theme: 

Flies, Ants, Snakes, Ticks, Rocks,  Heat, Dust, Shiggy, Hills, Wild animals (and neighbours), Bad manners, Bullshit and Beer….every Hashman’s dream. 

 

Well the Hillbillies didn’t disappoint tonight. A true celebration of everything basic, unrefined and rough as guts natural. SEAGULL and Q must have been pissing themselves whilst setting this run. The first half of the run was set in what could only be described as a rock quarry, undulating relentlessly over about 4 kms. This of course led to the downfall…litterally… of several  Hashers, having fallen victim to the” ball bearing” strewn, laterite track. Yours truly included…and not happy Jan!! Trying to run on this surface, up and down hills was sheer suicide. Fortunately there was some respite across  to the north side of Lesmurdie Road, where the trail continuedfor another 5 kms through semi suburbia, up and down hills but at least on firm ground. 

 

Residents unfortunate enough to be living anywhere along the trail were treated to the usual barrage of yelling and screaming etc and in one instance someone amongst  them even suggested that flyers be placed in the mail boxes of all the residents along the trail warning them of an upcoming Hash run in their street…seriously!!!?

Not a bad run all considered and TRIPPLE J awarded it a 9/10

 

Food was…different! Spicy potato, pumpkin and sausage casserole served with a ladle full of corn kernels and crusty bread. Very “innovative” one would have to say and it went down a treat.

 

Nice work Hillbillys

 

On on

SKID

The first thing to mention is that the co-hare delivered weather of Scottish proportions so that he would feel at home in the storm.  However, the Hare was up to the challenge with the venue and a reasonable pack of about 40 were able to get out of the weather for the circle and food.

 

Good run location, enough parking, easy to find and a nice touch added with Clive doing doughnuts to show respect to the gathering of Hashmen.  I am not sure that many who vote in the district would be more inclined to vote for him than had he not towed his signboard round in the great weather.

 

The intrepid hare got some flak for the marks for his walkers’ run, described and understood by engineers as a chevron, but for the rest just an arrow head.  But JJJ, a traditionalist at heart demanded to know why a W, good enough for 50 years of hashing, is not good enough for Elbows.

 

Visitor Bee Man from Brasil was given a couple of down downs and was very gracious in accepting his future name of Festering Scrotum. This caused Antman to nearly swallow his stubbie, holder and all, when Barcode made the announcement.

 

 

To the Run and Food. 

 

This Hashman ran 7km and that did not include too many false trails, but also no shortcutting.  I thought a very good run, with the trail surviving rather well generally considering the amount or rain.  The map was handed to Boner, as a back-up and whilst he got a downdown for being a confused map reader, the pack kept together pretty well and as Nanny said “you know it is a good run when you find yourself , more than once, running just behind a senior (age and stature) gentleman of Hash.

 

Elbows managed to find some shaggy, bush, minor creeks, grass and even bitumen to run on and all of this without filling our runners with water.  Pretty good job there Gents.

 

We were kept from crossing any major roads and only skirted Leach Highway the once.  Two false trails got near Karel Avenue.  So reckoned this was a damn fine run all round.

 

I thought the tucker was extremely tasty, though the curry residue on the pot bottoms were a mark against the cook.

 

 

In true recent form, the run was given a 10, but even in normal marking tradition it was worth all of an 8½.

 

 

Well done Elbows and Haggis

Perth Hash House Harriers: Buuuuuuushy’s  Run : Dianella 9 October 2017.

Out in the northern extremities of close-in suburbs we gathered in the Dianella open space where our beautiful colleague Scottie last set a run (and sent the pack off in the  wrong direction as a harbinger of worse to  come). Very busy little park it was  too with non-hashers  driving  everywhere –including  one  helpful  lady who suggested we  should  not  be there because it will get “very busy”. So I guess we added a little to that busy-ness with our 50-odd members freezing their bollocks off in the last wintery cold breeze for the year. With Bushy, Crayfish and Sir Knob so idealogically aligned as hare/co-hares what could go wrong?

Off in different directions  went the packs (not a good sign) but it all turned out ok with frequent crossings of each other’s paths through  generally flat territory  marked  by dull 70’s houses,  no visible inhabitants and lots of open drains and small parks (after we  emerged from the open space/bush area). The track appeared very well marked with about 14 FT’s (now there’s a frightening concept) and a couple of long straight tracks. The reported range of complete lengths varied up to 9.5 kms for the run and 5.5km for the walkers.

Both packs came in on cue at just under the hour to be heralded by half a boatload of midgets playing a very high grade of basketball to a very low grade sound-track of rap in the court adjacent to the bucket. Cheese, bickies and olives helped that. 

Into the Circle:

Visitors Beeman (mate of Antman) and already-gone Jack Russell, returnees Pembo, Neon, Mumbles, Fags and Mk 1 were ceremonially greeted (Beeman with his shirt on back to  front: D/D for  Antman). Another D/D  (and the  bell) to Goliath for missing the run site and others I can’t remember and  can’t  read on my notes cos the light was fading despite the adjacent overhead  floodlights strong enough to  give you skin cancer, just to add to the deafness  from the rap music. At least each track might have been different as opposed to our very standard, but below par, refrain.

3G scored a D/D and a pizza suit to recognise his new job and Elbows (Oooh me?) won the whiskey/whisky raffle donated  by Xmas. Thanks Xmas. Polecat got a D/D for something he  probably deserved too.

Our Rrrrr ehh?  Triple J then regaled us with the health benefits of being Scottish (it was a very short regaling too). More  down downs.

Out with the Hares: Bushy in a hat which wouldn’t look out of place in a pair of panties.  The general consensus was an excellent run with 10/10 awarded (makes it hard to mark next week’s run too). Top parking, lighting, trail marking and food of hamburgers. (It must have been good- the basketballers enjoyed it  too. On yer Bushy and co-hares.

The East Perth Power Station run site was great for a summer's night but risky for a potentially raining spring evening. The rain God's were kind and we had fine although cold weather.

 

There was some concern that there wasn't enough car parking but with the car pooling now popular it wasn't a problem even with the crowd swollen by the West Coast hashers.

 

Scummie waved the starting flag and we were off along the cycle path towards Guildford. Then we veered off the track and over Joel Terrace, up Packenham Street and then back south in some dodgy looking lane ways. 

 

They reminded me of the time I assisted Ramrod home after a hash lunch in Bassendean. As the train was about to depart from Mt Lawley station Gumby said to me 'wasn't that Ramrod who just fell over on the platform?'. Perhaps I should have stayed on the train instead of guiding a 'pissed' Ramrod through the lane ways to his place?

 

Back to the run…

 

Down some more lane ways to the East Perth station. Over the new walk bridge to the north side and into the railway terminal only to exit at the east end.

 

 After zig-zagging around the carpark we headed south west down Summer Street. I appreciated the Hash Halts which gave me and Barefoot time to catch up.

 

We ran though the back streets of East Perth and over the Graham Farmer Freeway. Eventually we jogged across Wellington Square and on towards Claisebook inlet.

 

By then Barefoot was keen to re-pay me for a beer I bought him on a run a few years ago. So it was into the Royal Hotel and a quick pint. I had a Steam Beer and Barefoot chose another.

 

After the pleasant diversion we set off down Henry Lawson Walk before running along the cycle path near the river.

 

We were just in time for the circle.

 

There were some down-downs and Gumby introduced us to some different down-down songs (Ok we only have one Perth Hash down-down song). Basil Brush got up on the crate and addressed the assembled hashers.

 

The food was hamburgers which was great because that was what I was planning for my run the following week. And the bonus was no plates to wash up. The pots made up for it though with 1/2 inch fat in the bottom for Mrs Bushranger to scrape off before washing them back at the Ranger house.

 

Later Rumpole explained to the hares the correct way to clean the BBQ before loading it into the Beer Bus. I think they failed the test as the BBQ was still covered in grease and fat this week.

 

All in all a great run, great food and great company.

 

As the Irish say….

May you have the hindsight to know where you've been, the foresight to know where you are going, and the insight to know when you have gone too far.

 

And

 

As you slide down the banister of life,

May the splinters never point the wrong way.

on on

 

Bushie

 

 

 

The pack slowly assembled at the Warwick Bowling Club. As the bewitching hour of 6.00pm arrived there appeared to be about 40 present.  Politics and the footy had been discussed in depth and still no firm conclusions had been reached as to how to resolve the great questions of our time.

 

Rimmer had admitted, in the earshot of your scribe, that been concerned with the length of the run and had reviewed the trail on at least a couple of occasions. 

 

It was good to see Mr Magoo again, who had arrived from his exotic abode in Thailand.  He regaled as with tales from the Land of Smiles. Gerrycan was accompanied by a potential new member “Chris”, good to see.    

 

With the pack listening intently, we were told that we would be on chalk and flour, just for a change, and sent on our way.

 

The runners headed North and the walkers South.

 

The runners as usual spread out with “guns” (aka FT) disappearing into the distance, never to be seen again until the rest of runners arrived at the “Bucket”. The rest who were moving at a more gentile pace resumed discussions about the Eagles weekend performance.   The Dockers woes were also examined with Ballantyne’s new one year contract, Fyfe’s million dollar contract and whether Sandilands will last out 2018.  The brilliant driving of Vettell was also examined, given that he was able to take out a Red Bull and a Ferrari in the 1^st 200 metres of the Singapore Grand Prix.

 

The trial meanders through the back streets of Warwick without any real incident,  However, at one stage the runners came upon the “Walkers” who were deep in discussions with Phantom about the direction of the run.  The run was well marked, except there could have a few more false trails and checks to keep the pack together.

 

Phantom led the “Walkers” south around the back of the Warwick Senior High School, around the rear of the Nursing Home, where we nearly lost half of the pack who were already looking for a rest.  But urged on by our fearless leader waving the “map” in the air, like a tour leader from a Wendy Woo tour, they continued into the back streets of Warwick. The pack meandered north towards Penistone Park and then back to bucket”. All in all a pleasant stroll.

 

The events at the “bucket” were much as usual, with Barcode describing various upcoming events including the Friday Sundowner, Hash lunch and the Father Children’s weekend. While all this was taking place, suddenly out of the gloom a spectre appeared.  Good heavens it was none other than our Thailand member Magoo, some half hour after the rest of the pack.  Naturally he was required for a down down.  

 

Triple J assailed our senses some of his endless supply of jokes.  However, even though he was listed as the co-hare he absolved himself of any blame in regard to the run.  I thought the Scots stuck together.

 

A good supply of bangers, peas and mash was suppled, and many went back for seconds –a testament to the quality.

 

All in all a good run and On On.

 

Well done Rimmer.

 

Ace

Leaving the country ,over the cut with a top sunset in view I picked up Doc[Mandurah/Bunbury HHH] and down the freeway full of anticipation of catching up with Perth's top pack.  For once the freeway was kind to us and apart from the usual snarl at the Roe Hwy it all went smoothly. The pack was already gathering but there was time to catch up with old mates and chat about the top lunch that Rhino organised ,over 25 a great turnout. More arrived  until about 50 fronted up.

 

Sir Knob wearing his Akubra hat and looking a lot like Baa Baa Barnaby Joyce  greeted us and assured us it was well marked, walkers got a map in case we got lost. Tomato Lake has certainly changed since the first hash run I had here in 1981 then it was a bulrush lined swamp and as somebody remarked all you could hear were frogs. Doc tells me 1, 1/2 million was spent upgrading it and it looks terrific. We swing right and over a wooden walkway and plunge into the depths of Carlisle. I couldn't help noticing lots of interesting looking people, Sudanese, Burkas, Pakistanis etc. until I was told the old Kewdale school is now a Muslim college lets hope Sir Knob doesn't have bacon sarnies for food.

 

More roads lots of chalk, well marked, Budgie and Jaarpie decide to join the runners until they realised their mistake. Lots of chat on the run , catching up with news and gossip. Nanny is keeping us on the straight and narrow. Jaarpie about my pace so we fill the middle section until home is in sight and the mob short cut. Back home a beer is the thing Skid donates carton of Fifty lashes good to see him back in top form. I sit on a Hyundai excel bonnet[its warm] that some lass had left there[ busy working I expect]. All too soon its circle time and the GM calls order, the mob is unruly [what’s different] but quickly quieten down. General business centred on the 2500th run, not to be missed  and its all under way. Doc and I get a down down as visitors and if you noticed I haven’t lost my skill in downing a beer [not bad for 80 y o]. No sign of the RA but lots got pounded for various misdemeanours.

 

The Fuzz came by took a look and continued followed by  the ranger who also decided we were too many to accost. The cops tried to arrest 50 at a run at the Round house in Freo but gave up when Hashers kept re-joining the queue and giving different names. The smell of the food was tantalising and every bit as good as it smelt, top curries Thai in nature I felt well, I had two helpings[I am a lonely bachelor] love those Croatian girls. My wife Dragon[Jan] is in a Croatian aged care home and they top birds. Another beer and all's well with the world this is WA's premier kennel no ifs or buts about it.

 

Sir Knob has obviously got a grip on what is a good run and brought it to a satisfactory climax. Doc and I intend to come to as many runs as possible, what's a 180 klm round trip.

 

On  On

 

Stumbles

 

For those with very long memories one fateful run from Tomato lake made the front  page of the West Australian, a maiden run by a young lad whose hash name was Luigi ,after Luigi sava da money from WA Salvage. His father was a Italian butcher and provided the meat for the food afterwards. The run is a distant memory but we all wore handkerchiefs with a knot in each corner shouting On ah On ah. Where does this lead to, well a few years afterwards Luigi is an Accountant in a wheat belt town , doing very well and building a mansion on a farm costing $2 million more than the whole town was worth.{i sold at Auction for $560,000]

 

How did this happen well he wasn't paying the farmers tax to the ATO but putting into his own bank account. Of course he got caught [where is this going you ask] well the police went out to arrest him whilst in the police are he swallowed two fumigation tablets that they use to treat a whole grain silo to kill pests. he died very quickly, the 2 cops had to exit the car before they went with him, a special vehicle was sent from Perth with drivers in full protection gear. they arrived at RPH emergency where My wife Jan was in Charge, as he was dead and they couldn't put in the morgue located in the basement as he was still fuming!! so it had to be locked in a holding yard with him in it until the fumes dissipated. The cop car and the pick up van had to wrecked. No other hash man has achieved this notoriety. Some have tried !! Oh Tomato Lake memories memories.

 

One further comment Chunder at one stage thought the talking toilets were Police boxes where they were spying on us what is he taking these days.

 

Stumbles

RUN 2482. LASAGNA AS THE HARE WITH GNOCCHI AS THE CO-HARE. (Write-up by Conman)

The run was held on 21 August 2017 at Barridale Park, Kingsley.

The weather bureau must have forecast a night that would be freezing cold and pouring with rain, because Antman turned up wearing a waterproof blue coat that he said was made for Alaskan conditions and Sherlock had on a waterproof red coat that would have suited the worst Antarctic conditions.

Fortunately the weather bureau was wrong (as it usually is) and the night turned out to be fine and reasonable temperature-wise.

The run got going and throughout it, Triple J would just not stop ringing the bell.

There was one casualty and one near casualty on the run. Firstly, Rumpole fell over and feigned severe injury merely because he grazed one of his knees. Secondly, Barefoot got lost (and may never have been found!), but ultimately found his way back, probably because he could smell the delicious hamburgers that were being cooked.

Budgie, although only walking, complained about walking up every hill he came to and he told us all, how he had recently ridden down many of these hills on his bike and had it not been for his superb riding skills he would have come a cropper on each one because of their narrowness and steepness.

At the end, however, it was all worthwhile as Lasagna and Gnocchi provided some of the best hamburgers we have had the whole year.

All in all, good weather, adequate cover if it had rained, good lighting and great food !!!

Awesome 4 Sum set a joint run with Hamersley, Bullsbrook, West coast and Perth hash.

It was a cold and miserable Monday night, but what else would you rather be doing.

The run start was from the Fleur Freane Reserve Pavilion.

With a late start of 6.15pm, of we headed, but within 10 minutes it started to rain, leaving us all like wet dogs.

There was a Runners and a Walkers trail which was marked with chalk and grey paint, If the rangers question the grey paint, Hamersley did it.

Up to the drink stop, we were handed port and lemonade out of the back of nanny’s car. Nanny did a good job holding up the front runners so that the back runners could catch up.

We set off after the drink stop with the final leg being 15 minutes to home, Luckily, we were rained on again.

Back home we were greeted with soggy crackers and dips, and black and white male anatomy, must have fallen out of hamersley’s bus.

Just proves that hamersley does infact take it….

 

Tripple J fed us with Pasta with a Bolegnese sauce with plenty of helpings.

Well done Tripple J, Well done Nanny

CRAYFISH TURNS IT ON

 

As usual sets the bar for the rest of us to live up to. Having popped in to see Dragon[my wife] at the Villa Dalmacia aged care home I hurried to Wembley to catch up with boys before the run kicks off, cant believe the amount of development as I headed through Alfred rd. units popping up like mushrooms. A small crowd awaited in the car park, evidently  a lot of boys parked outside the netball courts to check the score!! lead by Horse I was told.

 

My old mate” Has Been” from Albany was there[Dollars cousin] so I caught up with all the news on what's happening down there, we were both in real estate down there so had lots to chat about. Crayfish is busy cutting loads of cheese up and Colonels dog is very interested he was looking for a bite but unlucky in this instant. Xmas arrives with Horse the Foxy still wants to root everything Inc. my leg., Chatted to FT about Subiaco's crushing win on Sat. Bushy arrives and introduces me a delightful Porter which I had never see before which slipped down a treat. The packs building up and lots  of faces both old and new I started with Perth in 1980 and there is still a lot guys still there Inc. of course Phantom the Old master. Antmans arrives with his dog Pudgy a strange name for a greyhound its wearing more gear than any of the pack dressed by Vinnie's. Budgie chirps up and there's Lasagna making money looking after Antmans fleet of crappy old pommy cars and helping Mark One get to the funeral in time.

 

By now Horse has torn himself away from the basketball court and is firing up the commercial BBQ a beauty because there is heaps to cook. GM Barcode gets the pack ready [knew him when he was in nappies] we get a briefing and we are off. Pretty soon Xmas , Antmans and I are at the back of the pack held up by Pudgy crapping and pissing at every other telephone pole [ that’s my excuse] but we are on trail, no calling[what’s new]. but we are still there. Xmas knows a short cut to catch the pack so off we go for some reason no further trail was seen. We wed our way through Wembley catch the pub where Antmans son used to be manager. We swing by the Police station  and its home somehow we beat the walkers in by 10 minutes but my tricky left knee is not complaining. Then super fit Emu leads the runners in what a champion followed by the kindergarten.

 

Bushy hits me with another Porter I have a chat to Gumby[sans hat] and Barcode gets the circle going, a fairly unruly one at that but he preservers'. Top gun is running tours to the swan Valley hope he remembers the ice for the white wines!! Next lunch is at the RAAF  museum and Inc. a tour for those interested. Sebastian's was voted a success cheap and good. Then its RAs turn Triple J without his interpreter talks with a mouthful of marbles but the faithful seem to understand I think he was the Marquis De Sade in an earlier life because he dishes out down downs like M & Ms I cop it as a visitor but how come its Colonials birthday on Wed. no down down and no carton guess he's voting Labor now.

 

Now its grub time the pack a large one over 40 lines up great hamburgers and salad and cheese fills the hole in my stomach. Bushy forces another Porter on me and feeling complete I decide to head for home its a long drive to Dawesville. Top night and I will endeavour to come to more runs its always a good turn.

 

On On

 

Stumbles

Congratulations to Mumbles on 40 years of hashing long may he reign.

 

As the previous Monday was the 20 year anniversary of Diana's death some may recall it was the same day as Gillies run at his North Fremantle pub.