Write Ups and Blogs

Run 2567 – Colonel

This run rite up was submitted on 17/6/19. Just goes to show it’s never too late to do a run right up, even for the On-Sec.

The Colonels unusual offering

As we drove down the coast with the Mole and Antman busy discussing model railways and other toys that really should be kept for the playground my mind drifted to the last time the Colonel set a decent run, was it last time…no, was it the time before…no, was it that freezing cold night he served up cold ham sandwiches…no

Fuck lets go home I thought and as I did a u turn I remembered my Thomas the tank engine mates in the back I did a double u turn and headed up Ventnor street.

We arrived at the ONON to find a woman screaming at my fellow Hashmen about parking and dogs, I didn’t get involved but Mr Dick Tracy proved age is no barrier when it comes to  getting your leg over, or was it his guts over I tried to block that out of my memory.

What a shock the Colonel was nowhere to be seen, this run had fuck up written all over it as we headed south west across the park followed by about one hundred dogs, I do remember playing soccer on this oval many years ago and our goalie getting covered in shit as he dived to make a save.

As we got away from the oval we discovered we were going a different way than the usual Colonel run, we found ourselves in completely new territory and not knowing where we were was a nightmare for the short cutters.

This was good and not boring at all as we turned into one park after another behind houses we had never seen before and not a sign of one of them pesky walkers.

Well done Colonel you and your co hare set a great run all new territory and the weather was great.

We got back to the bucket and after an excellent circle we had very nice hamburgers and salad and plenty of it.

Good job, great run, nice food, and as I got into the car with Thomas and the fat controller I smile

Run 2574 – Xmas & Sir Thomarse

Run 2574 Hare Cristmas, co-hare Sir Thomarse

Oh what a night, da da de da da da; Oh what a night da da de da da da, back in May 019 was special night for us.……………Full of expectation and warmth at the prospect of being back in the bosom of inner Perth, we assembled in the yard of the now closed Shitty Motors.

The van was conveniently tucked away in an undercroft. Two visitors came along; Backpool Doog, a mate of Mastitis, and Silver Fox, not the one from Mandurah hash but rather a visitor from the Old Country.

We set of at the allotted time and ran a circuitous route through the closed-down car yard. After meandering through various commercial establishments we found ourselves alongside West Perth panel and Paint, where the ghostly sound of Mafia hammering his dolly could be heard.

The run was dominated by back-lanes, dunnies and stark apartment blocks. A few spectacular views of Perth city by night were encountered along the way. Plenty of Federation architecture, but what a shame that our forefathers allowed such ugly commercial developments to appear in this heritage area.

After some stiff exercise, we arrived back at the bucket and the usual merriment and bonhomie.

A highlight was the RAC floorshow, towing away Rhinos clapped-out Fairmont. Such a major event moved Rhino to film the process, only to find that he used the wrong setting on his iPhone and accidentally filmed his face, with tears in his eyes.

Sir Knob won this weeks’ raffle, an event that some astute observer pointed out was one of the few things that Labour has won recently.

Some excellent food was laid on by Christmas, complete with some English soul food –rice pud. Brought tears to my eyes.

If I was in a position to award marks, I would rank this tops, if only for the fact that Christmas left me with almost no washing up to do. A top evening.



Run 2573 – “Goliath Run” with “Tank” co-hare or was it the other way round?

   It was a dark and moonless night.  The pack had gathered to the fray.   Pre-run chatter was high.  Sir Knob seemed to be the centre of attention, although Elbows was noticeably quiet.  Top Gun (aka Rhino) didn’t even turn up, probably to embarrassed. A good size pack of our four legged athletes including a visitor brought along by Stumbles, “Perth Hash House Hounds Hash”.  It’s got a rice ring to it?  Freo can have two names why can’t we! Anyway, back to the run,  The boys took off with the usual excitement only to find all the arrows in “Pink”.  Rumour has it, it was the Harriets run for the following night! They must have been on trail as they met up with we walkers at about the half way mark.  We didn’t need arrows, we had Phantom! Back at the Circle, the G.M. gave the boys 6 1/2 for the run.  I would put another 2 points for the tucker including bickies. On general discussions we learnt Bushy didn’t bring any piss for his Birthday ‘cause his mates car broke down  –  work that one out! A good crowd, good food and a top night. P.S.  I’d give another point for not having to wash any dishes.  My run next week.   ON ON        Xmas 

Run 2571 – Barcode

The Grandmaster’s run started at 18:02 hours. That’s fine…but there was still no Splash Wagon on location! This was much to the concern of some runners and several walkers!! But we set off from the Rigsafe Workshop in opposite directions, with the walkers led by Phantom-substitute, Polly, who predictably made a complete balls-up of it, getting lost within the first 500m or so. This writer lost patience with the walkers and started following chalk to soon find himself climbing up through bush (still on trail) up towards Lesmurdie Falls Park, and actually leading the pack!! (Thank you, I will take my bow now). But the glory was short lived as it was a long false trail uphill, which he was spared from chasing out as the leading hares soon past him and thankfully called back. I wearily returned to the Rigsafe Workshop, not being able to keep up with the runners, and was most grateful to see that the Splash Wagon had finally arrived. And only just in time for returning short-cutters, as it pulled into Rigsafe carpark at 18:50 hrs!! The story was a bit garbled, but something about being late either because Dick Tracy took them on a wild goose-chase up Goosebury Hill (you like that??), or because Boner’s wife had locked him out of the house, 3G was busy with his girlfiend (but why on a hash night?), and poor young Bromwyn is not sufficiently trusted to even have a house key (how this is all relevant nobody knows!)

But after my second beer most of the runners had made it back in dribs and drabs, with an average run time of 75 minutes over about 8 kilometers, although Boner looked like he went considerably further, as he came in dripping sweat and effing and blinding about something…

The circle formed and we all soon discovered the problem with warehouse acoustics, which was not improved by the usual back-chat, most notably from Dollar who would just not shut up!! Nevertherless, the usual returners and other miscreants were called up for down-downs, in fairly brisk order, before singing “grace” and lining up for some excellent German sausage (Bratwurst perhaps?), sauerkraut and coleslaw. The run was awarded a 9 out of 10 and well deserved by all accounts! Well done Boner et al !!  


Deeply Boring, 8-May-19

Editor’s note:
1. Apologies to JM’s as Deeply’s email system couldn’t navigate to your inox so his run right-up ended up in the HashIT’s inbox, so I’ve posted it to do my bit for global warming (emails use electrical energy you know and W.A. is not big on renewables).

2. I would like to add that Antman’s nephew, Gabriel Sousa Cupertino wasn’t named ‘Cappuccino’ as your HashIT was lobbying for. FT named him ‘Elvis’ but due the the acoustics at the RigSafe Workshop and Dollar Bill’s chatter (Deeply told me that) I couldn’t understand why?

3. FT explained to me later the name ‘Elvis’ was chosen because of Australian film producer Baz Luhrmann’s quest to find a local actor to play the role of Elvis in his upcoming movie.

Read about it here:


On On
Perth Hash House Harriers

Run 2572 – Deeply Boring

Run 2572, Deeply Boring and Barefoot @ Mt Claremont Community Centre.

A good crowd gathered at the car park ready for the off, but there was a slight delay while Barefoot explained to dog owners that there was some bait laid near the golf course, so beware, then went onto tell us about  the game of Noughts and Crosses, which they had incorporated into the run, after that we were off. Onto Montgomery Ave and not long before the runners hit the first of many dreaded Xs (false trails) to the old school. Winding around the many streets of Mt Claremont to see how some of the better half lives. A couple of steep climbs (they were for me anyway) and onward to a welcome drink stop with warm Mull Wine. Onward after the drink break through the streets coming across a few more Xs and the odd Os. The main group of walkers arrived back at the bucket after about 1hr 10 mins,  with a few arriving a good 10 mins or more before them (l don’t know how or whom). First back for the runners was Haggis from a different direction that the main pack which came in about 1 hr 15 mins, a bell was heard in the distance at about 7.45pm, it was Elvis who had not only left the building but got lost on the way.

There were no returnees, and quite a few down downs were had by various villains (which being my first review l can’t remember who and what they were for). Deeply Boring was in and out of the carpark like a bat out of hell fetching dinner, to which at one point he nearly became an enemy of Tank after becoming a Bees Dick away of hitting the rear of his car.

In the end a good feed of Curried Fish with Rice and Pappadums, this was enjoyed by all with some going back for seconds. The remainder of the Mull Wine was confiscated by Goliath for safe keeping, which was quickly decanted into jugs when he got home.


Bush Hash Re-Union

To celebrate Dave the Pom’s 40 years of hashing he organised a ‘Bush Hash Re-Union’ from is house in Kalamunda.

Here is Dave the Pom’s wrap-up:-

24 Apr 2019, 11:43

Hi All

Thanks to all those who attended the Bush Hash Re-Union last week and you may enjoy the attached photos.

Everyone who attended enjoyed it and enjoyed it so much we have decided to do it again in the Spring when the weather is a bit kinder and the Wildflowers will be out

Watch this space!

(Dave the Pom)


Run 2569 – Jack Russells’ ANZAC Run

Jack Russell and Elbows – the joint run that wasn’t

The Men’s Shed in Lesmurdie is literally just that, and small tin example out the back of the local scout hall. Compare this to the mighty palace that is the Men’s Shed in Mosman Park, where, despite money literally flowing out of the taps they managed to get Lottery West Funding? And what was with the giant roller doors, looks like something they could wheel a missile through, perhaps something to unleash on Canberra when the Western Suburbs worst nightmare is fulfilled as Bill Shorten moves into the lodge…………

Tom Perrot Reserve in Mosman Park is a venue we’ve been to many times, however there was much confusion as Jack Russell had set us up from the other side of the oval to where we would normally be. Was interesting to see some young kids on the oval showing Jesse Hogan and several other Dorkers players (#25yearsofnothing) how to play meaningful footy before Jack Russell sent us on a loop around the oval before descending down towards the river.

It became fairly evident early on that a great chalk shortage, the like of which we haven’t seen since the great depression that was Stinky Alice’s virgin run several year’s back. Off in all directions we eventually managed to leap from through a series of checks whilst dodging those pesky walkers who so like to get in our way.

The run was an interesting mix of mansion strewn streets, peaceful Western Suburbs parks and alley ways, although a dearth of markings, and some long straight sections meant that the run wasn’t as good as it could have been. We were back at the bucket after a brief 45 minutes, although I’m told we may have missed a large chunk of the run – note to hares, if you want people to follow a trail you have to actually lay some!!

The circle was short, but lively. We kicked off with a short ANZAC poem and minute of silence, even budgie managed to keep his trap shut for the whole minute. The Mole received a down down in Rimmers absence as the only anniversary for the week, Elbows and Phantom had a down down over some confusing footy bet which I think Elbows won.   

Barcode then had his first rant for the year, reiterating that the Hash IT is for Hash IT related issues – if there are questions about the receding hareline then please contact the joint masters – and if there are things which you think aren’t right then speak to your committee.

Your RA then issued some down downs for both losers (Eagles fans) and winners (Dorkers fans, although I’m not really sure you can refer to a Dorkers fan as a “winner”). The run was appropriately critiqued and awarded a generous 7.5.

The roast beef and gravy rolls were delicious – another sensational Monday night, good job Jack Russell and Elbows.

On on

Barcode – see you all in Forrestfield next week!!

Run 2568 – McDonald Park, Duncraig

Hares: Trippple J and the Frying Scotsmen

McDonald Park, Whitfords.

Despite the best efforts of the Hare to reduce numbers (and his costs) by invoking the Gods to rain on his parade, 40 intrepid Hashmen arrived between showers at the park, we have been to many times before. Each time I have been there, the run takes a new twist. Always heading in different directions. Just goes to show what you can do from a great location in a hilly, park-strewn, laneway abounding suburb.

Taking off to the sound of the bell ringing (for the first time in months) into a familiar pattern down the path and into the underpass below Marmion Ave, WHAT a false trail on the other side of the tunnel. That’s different. From here on the run only improved. Despite all the harsh words said about the hare, and his poor record from this location, it really did get better and better. Unfortunately, its in-eligible for the run of the year, but a worthy recipient if it was eligible, the rain dampened the experience only marginally as we were mostly only damp by the time we returned to the bucket. Even the dogs had dried out sufficiently to be NON “wet dog smelly” when they were relocated to the vehicles. The use of false trails and the occasional check kept the pack mostly together, even when we did get strung out, we magically came back together at a good long false trail. Despite the rain, the markings were still mostly legible enough for Emu to be able to see them without his glasses on. A good pointer to the quality of the run. The laneways at the end of the run, despite us using them each time we come here, always seem different and interesting to negotiate a path through.

The circle was nothing remarkable and all the right people were given down downs, the food was served in a timely manner and all had a good feed. Nothing really exciting food wise, but enough to keep the ribs apart for a while longer. Despite the claim by the On Sec that it would be awarded 10/10, it was the RA who made the politically correct call of not scoring it. Very wise FT! Congratulations to Mastitis for being awarded the highly sought after musical device.

Thanks for your efforts Tripple, a good run for all.

On On


Run 2566- Phantom & Sir Knob at Shenton Park

Morning team in the absence of next weeks hare Colonel & being his co-hare I was informed by our spiritual leader Phantom to do the write up, it went something like this “Budgie you have to do the write up, don’t forget the signs etc etc “as he was getting excited I quietly placed my hand on his shoulder & whispered gently into his ear “”it’s okay Rob I’ll take care of it” then my old birthday mate went to water. The start of the run started with Dickie (tugger no 3) picking me up as Rumpole had reminded me that his yearly performance  evaluation was due, we were concerned he was drinking to much piss whilst performing his duties. After a period of time we observed him & asked for a explanation, his reply “With all the Piss left over to count I figured I best drink as much as I can” what a wonderful team man. The other concern the Dept. of Consumer Affairs had contacted Barcode re a Boot Legging operation in Honey taking place in Perth Hash. Well the run was off at the usual time & organised by the Phantom & his right hand man Sir Knob, the location was brilliant hidden in the back blocks of the old Shenton Park Hospital site, for those south of the river there is a really nice subdivision taking place, the current government realised how valuable the land is & are trying to make up for the huge loss’s from Roe 8 & the recent Albany Wave Park, this was perfect opportunity to raise funds.We spent the first 20/30 minutes thru the Shenton Bushland area which had great trails meandering throughout, plenty of FT’s along the way which kept the pack together. We then crossed the railway line & headed into Shenton Park proper at Aberdare Street, Conman & myself discussed where was the border to shires Shenton Park & Nedlands, in his old smooth way Conman started to express his view, however I had to cut him short as after asking him how long will this take & what is the hourly rate !!!  There were great lanes more Ft’s to keep the packs together, really good area/terrain as we worked our way to the Nicholson Road subway, under that, across Selby street picking up the On Home.It was a excellent run by the two hares, the food was good but not quiet as good as the previous week, I believe some members have requested going to the Knob’s place for dinner (providing the bride/cook is available)
What was interesting about the run was that the runners completed it in 47 minutes (source Bushie) & I know the walkers did it in 50 minutes, how good is that, perhaps with some of the young guns missing, Barcode, Seagull, Boner etc may have contributed but you should thank Q for keeping the runners age down to at least the early 60’s.
GM Triple J handed the boys an 8, perhaps a 9 would be more appropriate, the pressure is now on the Colonel to perform.
My Quote of the week.While I was having coffee in Scarborough during the week the guy at the next table Arthur was a RAAF vet of 30 odd years & appeared to be a character, when asked from another table to quieten down his reply was “I don’t give a shit, I am over 75 & I will tell it how it is” I asked him if he was a Hash Man.
Enjoy Budgie