Write Ups and Blogs

Run 2593 – Scumbag in Yokine

As the run was hosted by two long time hashers (Scumbag and Co Hare Sir Thom Arse) we set out from Yokine Reserve with high expectations and were not disappointed. We were off at six pm across the reserve were we ran into a pack of about a hundred dogs, enough to throw Triple j  into a frenzy, however we got to the other side with no loss of blood. From then on the run went well as it was well marked all the way (till the runners ran of chalk?????).The walkers got back just short of the hour with the runners close behind which is a sign of a well planned run.We gathered round for a fairly short circle with which included a cracking good joke from our RA (after he found on his technology), and oddly there was no mention of dogs. Good quality hamburgers with all the trimmings was served up for dinner.


Run 2590 – Jaapie in Cockburn

Run 2590 Monday 16 September 2019

Hare: Jaapie

Co-hare: Grizzly

Venue:          Davilak reserve, Hamilton Hill – home of Cockburn Cricket Club and Cockburn Cobras Football Club.
Bit of a hike down the freeway however apart from the Narrows traffic moved fairly freely.  When we arrived training was in full swing and parking was at a bit of a premium however we all managed to squeeze in – all 45 of us.

Runners:  The run commenced with the usual loop around the sportsground then off into the urban streets before coming across greener pastures of Manning Park with a good trail along the lake and then up the hill to the parkland bush being lead by Goliath, FT, Q and Elvis. There was a good sunset for those who reach the top and then we ran along the gravel paths adjacent to the power pylons. 

Haggis was interrupted by an automated computerised phone call from a marketing company which he quickly dispensed with (how do they obtain personal mobile numbers?). It was then all downhill and return to the urban area towards the bucket and catching up with the walking stragglers.

A good run with a fair amount of bush trails that kept the pack intact. Well done Jaapie.

Walkers:  Setting off in the oposite direction to the runners  we shortcut through a couple of streets then west up a limestone track under powerlines. Over a hill then a good view of the old power station and Robb’s Jetty.  Along more tracks on limestone bedrock (good ankle twisting terrain). Halfway along we encountered Stumbles and Mumbles , lost? Or doing the trail in the oposite direction as they claimed.  Further on we came across a false trail and had to direct the runners back as they were puzzled by an X and half an arrow back. Leaving the reserve on Quarry road, when it became Lucius Road Phantom became lost and put out an SOS for a phone with Google Maps.  He then dicovered we were 150 metres from the bucket! We had only been out for 30 minutes but half the pack decided they were thirsty and headed to the bucket for refreshments.. Phantom led the rest on a 10 minute detour (it lasted 20 minutes) which circled around past  the Cockburn basketball complex.

Circle:  The Hon Sec said there was a problem with the  name for the new plastic drinking items and to clear up any confusion cups would be refered to as mugs and mugs as cups.

Down Downs: Horse for his birthday despite shouts that it should have been on August 1st.  

Jerrycan for a 19th aniversary and Barefoot for a 42nd.

Antman won the raffle and drew the 8 of spades – right next to the Joker.

The R.A.  said he remembered the chips this week!

Down Downs; Losers (no one mentioned the cricket) were Budgie for West Coast, Colonel for Clarement and Mastitis for drug testing substituion.  Winners were Mumbles for South Fremantle and Moses for Geelong,  Antman for the Poms and FT for France.

Antman for his dog demolishing someone’s front drive.

Haggis for receiving phone calls on the run from a massage parlour.

Scummie got the bell again as he forgot to carry it this week.

Food was a rather thin goulash (it tasted ok though)with bread

Run scored 8/10.

On On

Ramrod & Haggis

Run 2582 – Shakin & Rumpole at Homebase Carpark, Subiaco

On a cool night with little chance of rain, the assembled pack headed off across the car park to the first check at the corner of Station Street. We were somewhat bemused to find the “On Home” sign five metres away on the same corner. Perhaps a lack of communication between the hares??
Luckily some intrepid hound found the on trail and we were off through most of the back lanes, parks and some of the streets of Jolimont, Daglish and Subiaco.

The trail was well marked, there was about the right number of checks, but the false trails were a bit light on for some of the back runners.
The runners mostly got back after about 75 minutes (a bit long Shakin!!), the walkers obviously short cut as they were home before the runners.
The On Sec and the RA gave their normal spiels and found the requisite number of miscreants for Down Downs. Skid won the raffle but didn’t get the Joker. The RA thought it was the turn of the walkers to have the Bell and Sherlock was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He will have his hands full next week!
Food was chicken and salad in a bun but the hare forgot to take all the bones out.

On On


Run 2587 – Goliath and Tank in Aubin Grove

A fantastic run organised by Goliath & co-hare Tank in Aubin Grove. With new challenges that resembled those from The Amazing Race (Hash Roadblock, Hash Fence, etc), we knew that we were in for a difficult yet fun run.

The run, according to Q, was 9.3km, and took about 1h 20min. It started in Aubin Grove and primarily went through Banjup. It also took us past the infamous residential house with 27 bedrooms (… hmm, not sure if anyone needs that many bedrooms?).
There were plenty of obstacles on the way (fences, barb wire, mud, swamps), which is why a lot of people loved the run, though there were a few people that did a lot of cursing on the way.

Either way, everyone was happy that they arrived mostly in 1 piece (Cans had a big scrape and we though we’d lost Haggis, but otherwise everything was good).

And everyone was very happy with the meal that followed (potato jacket with pulled pork and coleslaw) washed down with some special homebrew (called tuica).

The run got awarded 7.5 … though after tasting the main meal, it got upgraded to 8.

Will look forward to Goliath’s next run…


Run 2586 -Birdman & Sir Knob @McGillvray Oval

Run 2586 (Mon 19 Aug 2019) – Birdman & co-hare Sir Knob @ McGillvray Oval, Mt Claremont

A fantastic run organised by Birdman & co-hare Sir Knob in Mt Claremont. The run was about 8km long and took us through the WA Uni sports park, a bus depot, horse grounds, lots of bushes & lakes and finished off with a view of the Perth city skyline.

On the downside, I couldn’t see any interesting birds (was expecting something given Birdman was the main organiser) and couldn’t hear any bells … yes, it’s the committee’s fault for not sending out a reminder to Goliath ;).

On a positive note, thank you Birdman for scheduling to have the Skylab [ISS] to fly over us straightly after our run 🙂

For food, we had some nice cheese for entree (ps. would have gone nice with some Shiraz … hing hint for next time) and a warm pea and ham soup, perfect for a cold winter’s night.

Unfortunately, the night finished early as many had to prepare for a long journey to get to the far South Side for next week’s run (in Aubin Grove, 25 kms south of the city). For those that don’t have a car, hope you’ve got your Indian Pacific train ticket.

ON ON Goliath

Run 2585- Dick Tracy in Carine

About forty hashmen turned up at Carine Open Space in eager anticipation of  Dick Tracey’s run. The weather was dry and cool. The run was actually set by Budgie, helping out because of Dickie’s achilles problem.As usual these days, walkers outnumbered the runners two to one. All set off in an easterly direction, before heading north on the other side of the freeway. We followed a big anti-clockwise loop, which included some of the nicer parts of Greenwood and Duncraig. Well set, despite Budgie’s refusal to mark with the traditional Perth Hash arrow.The walkers were back on the hour, having covered 5.2km. The front runners took 75 minutes to do their 8.6km. Q’s watch told him he had run 9.6 km; he must have caught every false trail.The circle started promptly and we celebrated Pembo’s twenty years and birthdays for Colonel and Polecat, who donated a carton. Rhino conveyed the thanks of Second Bite for our recent donation.Xmas informed about the upcoming Cervantes Hash function, and told his best joke ever.Several downdowns were awarded (I got two) and Goliath was given the bell.Our RA, to loud cheers, scored the run at 8.5, following which we tucked in to chicken cooked three ways. Thanks to Dick Tracey and Budgie for another good evening.ON ONBirdman

Run 2584 – Hare $, Co-Hare FT

What happened to Global Warming?  A cold wet night was the setting in a well-used Kingsley park!  Also what happened to the 6pm start time? The pack had to wait for the chardonnay set to arrive from Cottesloe and Claremont.  

PHANTOM again angle parked in front on parking bays!!

You would think that DOLLAR, a former formidable RAR military man would give the pack a latitude and longitude start bearing.  The only directions from DOLLAR were “FUCK OFF THAT WAY!”

The pack – runners and walkers – took off and thankfully there was no rain.  BUDGIE led the walkers at the start as he was glowing in the dark and was something to follow.

The walkers suffered a few trail stops while PHANTOM got his bearings.  These stops allowed the runners to interact with the walkers and dogs.

There were positive comments about the run – one being “at least the rain held off” and another being    a couple of dogs nearly got run over.

The heater was on and TRIPLE J took charge of the circle.  Some of the down downs were:

  • GOLIATH and RHINO for getting totally lost on last week’s run.  GOLIATH returned when RUMPOLE and crew were packing up the bucket.
  • PEMBO for his belated birthday and a Guinness was enjoyed on his behalf.
  • STEWIE for falling asleep on the train.

GUMBY drew his own ticket out of POLLY’S raffle and the CCC is looking into POLLY’S running of the tickets and cards.

The rain started and FT had to move the circle under cover.  Luckily we only had a small pack as the shelter just fitted the food table and we were shoulder to shoulder.

When BIRDMAN farted no-one moved out from the shelter due to the rain.

FT told a joke about a nun, but we’re still waiting for the punch line.  What’s wrong with kissing a nun anyway?

There was some comment and argument about late write ups for runs.  FT gave a down down to:

  • XMAS and PHANTOM for the parking awards for the night.
  • BUDGIE was awarded a plastic bag to cover his head – it looked good on him.
  • BARCODE for being mates with Ben Cousins.  I didn’t hear why as SCUMBAG was talking at the time.

FT assessed the run as one that has been held in the location three times before by DOLLAR.  FT was aware that DOLLAR’S wife cooked the food which was excellent.

Parking good, location good, lighting good, weather OK at the start.  FT gave DOLLAR and himself 9 out of 10.

The rain stopped then started again so the circle dispersed ASAP.



Run 2581 – Sir Tom Arse

Sir Tom Arse, Xmas & ScummyPenistone Park, Greenwood
Great Location – Only 5 minutes from home. Weather good. Always rains in the Southern Suburbs not in the Northern Suburbs!
Started at 6:00pm from a walkers point of view, plenty of chalk, walkers and runners (only 8 or 9) Stayed together for half the run. The walkers separated from the runners and were home after 40 minutes. 
The runners had a good run stayed together for most of the time, although Seagull went lame. They arrived back at the bucket after 50 minutes.
The circle was the circle FT & Dick Tracy’s Birthday’s. FT supplied the Melbourne Bitters & Dickie supplied the Favourites Chocolates, Mumbles ate all the Turkish Delight’s!
The circle was interrupted by the Harriett’s dress in Pink Tutu’s and their big Pricks! Sang their hash song and return to wherever. One did leave a frozen stiffy behind! Thanks ladies our excitement for the night.
$5.00 each for the food. $185.00 was raised for the 50th anniversary.
Thanks Sir Tom! The run was awarded 8/10
Sheppard pie was on the menu – Very nice too!
Good Food, Good Booze, Good Run, Good Company & a Good Night!
Thanks all! See you next week!

Run 2581 – Sir Tom Arse, Xmas & Scummy

Run 2581 Penistone Park Warwick Hare Sir Tom Arse

Cohare Xmas and Scummy

It was a nightmare journey on the freeway, snail pace from Lake Monger to the Warwick turnoff and arriving to the smiling faces of FT and Dollar Bill, both gloating that their travelling time was 5 minutes. Give me an inner city run any day.

The early birds discussed matters of importance, Nic Nat’s injury, the Eagles unfortunate loss to Collingwood, the Dockers losing again, England winning the cricket in amazing circumstances and Serena losing (how sad). All the time we were keeping a close watch on nominees for the Wilson Parking Award and it didn’t take long for Ramrod to show that he has lost none of his talents. And Phantom wearing his Collingwood scarf was in bad taste with lack of respect to the Eagles diehards.

After the menagerie of dogs had all sniffed each other and had their obligatory shit, the run got away with a loop around the oval and then off into the bowels of Greenwood. After the 1st kilometre, we never saw the front runners which is par for the course these days – no respect for the back markers who bravely struggle to keep up. Bring back the old days when a hash halt was always part of the run. I wonder whether the front runners had an ulterior motive in keeping well ahead of Rumpole who was the bell carrier and amused himself by letting it drag along the road. The noise was terrible and someone suggested we stop this torment by shoving it firmly up his arse. It was a good run, 6.7km according to Bushie and his electronic gadgetry and the hares were awarded an 8/10.

The preliminaries included Dickie handing out chocolates as his birthday treat and the hares collecting $5 for the 50th Birthday Run – no chase the joker this week. The On Sec welcomed the returnees, Ramrod who has finally settled back after 3 trips back to the old country, Bushie who had his 3 week walk in the mountains of Switzerland, Antman back after his surgery and Scummy who did his around Australia journey. The circle was interrupted while 6 strange ladies carrying funny looking balloons crashed through pack, sang a funny song then disappeared into the night – what was that all about.

The RA censured Seagull for spreading e-col, Moses, Colonel, Crayfish and Triple J had down downs for driving Volkswagens (something to do with the Beetle going out of production), we were introduced to the new down down cups (something to do with Hash going green), and nominees for sporting events included Bushie for the Tour, Mumbles for the cricket and Polecat to celebrate Serena’s loss.

The meal was shepherds pie and enough for everyone to have seconds. Talking of meals, can I mention last week’s meal prepared by Stewie. I reckon it was one of the best prepared by a hashmen in a long time and deserves being recognised.

Another good night enjoyed by all, top marks to everyone who contributed. Well may you ask why I am preparing this run write up – I ask myself the same question.

Wouldn’t be dead for quids.


Run 2580 – Xmas in July – Committee

HARE: Elbows and Haggis (thanks Elbows for a good run)

Food: By the Price Family, Stewie, Leslie and Barcode

Compliments to Jerrycan and Rhino for the location

Guests: John and the West Coast Hashers

A select group of 45-50 of Perth and West Coast hashers left the run site at 6pm in fine and cold weather. Threatening rain turned into light drizzle. A large group of walkers, admirably led by the Phantom took a shorter trail, but we walked for an hour. The runners and walkers generally kept in touch from time to time.

We headed east to Cloverdale, past the primary school to Belgravia St, where the trail turned back to Belmont. Good use of Signal Hill Bushland Surprising to see the quality of the houses in that area. The fleet of foot young gun runners took about 70 minutes to complete the trail.

Great circle led by the one and only JJJ, after a good rendition of our song we enjoyed a fantastic meal of roast ham and pork, with roast tatties, pumpkin, carrots, peas and gravy. Then followed up with Xmas pudding and custard.

Big thanks to those that put in a great effort with the tucker. Not to forget, Deeply Boring serving his mulled wine. Thanks mate.

Thanks also to the landlord for use of the premises.

On On Sir Tom Arse