Write Ups and Blogs

Run 2531 Reluctant with Phantom and Sir Knob

Reluctant strategically asked Phantom and Sir Knob to be his co-hares so that he could blame them had the run been a dud.  He didn't need to worry as the run was well designed going down to the river, then north through UWA and then South through Nedlands.  Emu scored it a nine but probably would have given it a ten if Sir Knob had been a Liberal.
Cheese, bickies, sausage and a welcome fire pit greeted the runners on their return.  The food, delivered by a couple of girls, was a very tasty hot, spicy stew. 
Returnees including Fags, Mark1, Yaapi, Polecat, Crayfish & Rumpole.

On On 

Run 2532 Fags and Cans @ Morris Buzacott Reserve

The scribe was late for the run only to find Fags alone at the bucket with Mark 1 assisting??  Mrs Fags (Pat) was also there keeping the hash nosh warm. Cans had apparently assisted in setting the run but was not there to get any of the credit or blame!


We have previously run in Kardinya but not from this site so here is some information:-

Morris Buzacott Reserve is a sporting space in Kardinya suitable for picnics, medium sized gatherings, family reunions and children’s birthday parties. (And apparently Hash runs!) I couldn’t find any information on who Morris Buzacott was but Google did tell me that a

Hash Run was scheduled there for August 6 involving Hares Fags and Captain!!


The run started with a loop around the Community Centre to a check on Prescott Dr. Then it went along Cassidy, Burdett and Donavon streets and across Somerville Bvd into Chingthrop. A few falsies and checks later and it headed towards Piney Lakes Reserve. Then looping around towards Winthrop Drive around Winthrop Park and back over Somerville into Kardinya and Home.


The front runners arrived at the Bucket around 7pm closely followed by the walkers and the rest of the peloton. About 15 minutes later Haggis, Triplej, Antman and a few others made it back only to be told they had missed the chips. Triplej explained that “any good Scott will never turn his torch on as it uses up the battery and this was why they had lost the trail.” I’m still scratching by head! The Run was scored 9/10!


I had a phone call from one of my golf mates “Stormin” Norman Burd who was standing nearby wondering if this was one of the strange Hash Runs I had talked about. As he was a Burd I introduced him to Birdman. 


The Circle was eventful with various references to the Hash Lunch, very nice Japanese I am told and Stumbles had a complaint for The Mole. Something about coming all the way up from Mandurah and being the only person there? Various down downs awarded for dogs having pyjamas on Antman and Moses. Mumbles for something nobody understood. The entire bunch of Eagles supporters for a weekend in which a huge Gaff was made and for their hierarchy who are a complete embarrassment.


Food was an excellent chicken curry and the pots were not too hard to clean. Thank you Fags!!


On On



Run 2528 – Birdman and Barefoot

It was a great run set up by Birdman and co-hare Barefoot.

The only major criticism is maybe they should not trust meteorologists (especially those in hash) to give you weather forecasts … there was no need for wellington boots.

It was a nice 7.7km run through an area with various stops to admire the impressive houses (mansions and castles).

A warm ham and pea soup was perfect for a nice cold night.

Speial mention to Sir Knob for contributing a whisky for the raffle, to Jerrycan for the insight into Ned Kelly (may he rest in peace), to the committee for allowing Xmas to say a joke (and this time, it was actually pretty good and short), to Dick Tracey for ensuring Bushy never looses his keys again, to Emu for the nice picture of the Croatian president lookalike and to the neighbour dancing along on Birdman's back patio (refer to Shirlock's video at around the 3min 14sec mark).

Thank you Birdman.


Perth #. On On.

(Editor's note from Sir Knob: I think the whisky was donated by Antman)

Run 2530 Dollar Rises Again

We turned up to same same as last time   -It was raining and bleak –Usual for a Monday lately ,except for BIRDMAN”S effort earlier in month .

We took off in the rain with Hare’s instructions to walkers to go thru tunnel  . A small panic as we could not see chalk in dry tunnel . Local knowledge from the Supremo short cutter MOLE , soon had us on trail .

The runners had obviously had some initial difficulty in finding trail in the rain as when they had not caught up at 6:30 the courageous walking group reached the local shopping centre and headed home .Realising we were well ahead ACTION and Google  lead us past home and we came in via the back passage –always pretty exciting !!

According to ANOTHER PRICK In the WALL the  runners had totally lost trail and dribbled in about 7 pm and all quickly headed for shelter for a dry drink .

SIRTOMARSE delivered the worst joke I have heard since Primary School and SCUMMY rabbited on forever about some Harriet function Who Bloody cares ,except BIRDY if the circle lasts more than  7.5 minutes.

EMU then chastised (correctly ) the previous weeks hares for no signage  (left    ‘em home ) and appealed to future Hares to help JMs by finding replacement when unable to perform (a few of us are familiar with that problem )

We then heard about COLONEL’s dick amputation (that WAS funny ) and enoyed DOLLAR’s tasty beef stew .

Well done DOLLAR and FT but there is no reason why you can’t set this run again in 18 months as no-one has fully completed your run yet


Run No. 2529 Hares – Goliath & Sir Tom


Location South of the River – Never Good! No signs for guidance some of us had to do the scenic tour.

Weather was windy and light rain.

The sporting complex veranda protected us from the weather we were able to locate the trailer there also.

Numbers were down 30+ mostly due to the weather and the distance South of Perth.

What time is a 6:00pm start? 6:10pm apparently!

The Hares marked the trail late due to the weather both arrived back covered in lime powder. The use of lime worked well considering the weather.

The run / walk started at 6:10pm the only piker was the Mole who stayed beside the fire,  “too wet, too cold” he said.

The walk went for an hour and 10 minutes, crossed the trail with the runners from time to time. The run was well marked new country through bush tracks, roads and creeks which Boner tried to cool down by taking a swim!

From all accounts the run was a good run. No complaints only Boner. The on on was a bit confusing with a false trail and some distance from home.

The walkers and runners returned to the trailer about the same time 7:20pm approximately.

The usual get together before the circle everything seemed ok until no chips. What? No chips?!

The night was saved by Dick Tracey and his birthday chocolates!

The circle started with visitors, returnees and birthdays down downs with the odd songs from Gumby!

Then Budgie interjection seemed to take over the circle.

Apparently emu got lost finding his way to the run and went home! Emu’s fill in was Budgie  who by then was in full flight.

Thank God he was only on for a short time.

The run received a 7 out of 10.

Foods on! Curried Sausages and Corned Bread – Very Very Nice and plenty of it!

A good night was had by all!

Thanks Goliath and Sir Tom


Run 2527 Jointly with West Coast Hash, Troy Park, Attadale. “Get Wet with West Coast”

Run 2527 Jointly with West Coast Hash, Troy Park, Attadale.

“Get Wet with West Coast”

This event, from the usual place in Troy Park, was advertised as starting at 18.15. A pity some keen West Coast types got impatient and set off five minutes early in the pouring rain.  I was still getting ready, and set off three minutes later, in the pouring rain, to try and catch them. Well, that was always going to be a hopeless task, given my acknowledged lack of both pace and stamina. I did get a couple of distant glimpses but that was all. Any trail marks had been thoroughly washed away, so it was a “live hare” run. However, by this stage it wasn't merely raining, it was bucketing down! Not wanting to get lost after dark in Attadale, a decidedly dodgy part of town, I decided to cut my losses and return to the finish to get into some dry clothes. Just as I was approaching home, the rain eased off and our walkers appeared out of the gloom. Sensibly they had delayed setting out until the rain eased off. They shamed me into joining them and we strolled around the suburban streets for half an hour or so. Phantom navigated with the help of a laminated map.

Walkers and front runners were back at the beer in less than an hour. There was plenty of shelter, and our gas heater was most welcome.


The circle was mercifully short Emu and Lasagna were awarded downdowns for complaining that each time they caught up with the waiting pack, the runners set off again without giving them time to catch their breath.

Gumby was hauled up for wearing poncy leather office shoes. Nanny was done for ignoring the “no dogs” advice in the run directions.  

Scumbag put on a carton of Coopers Sparkling to help us celebrate his 72nd birthday; nothing but the best for our Scummy..


Thirty three Perth Hashmen  enjoyed pasta Bolognese, prepared by Sir Knob (possibly with some assistance) whilst ten West Coast chaps had to put up with KFC.


Thanks to West Coast for inviting us; next time please organise better weather.




Run 2527 – Joint Run with West Coast H3 at Troy Park, Attadale

Run 2527 – Joint Run with West Coast H3 at Troy Park, Attadale

Because it had been raining most of the afternoon, West Coast hare Simple elected to have a live hare run. The weather looked pretty good as we changed in the almost flooded carpark.

But the complacency soon disappeared 1 minute into the run when the heavens simply opened and it bucketed down for about 15 minutes.

Even the many walkers got their precious tootsies wet!

Gumby’s R.M.Williams running boots turned out not to be waterproof! But his new drone was good, particularly the photos of his neighbour’s wife.

The run would have been quite good had it been conventionally set – some good hills, bit of bush, expensive real estate to look at and about 55 minutes.

Lasagne & Emu ran non-stop the whole time and were exhausted because, whilst the young bucks of WC courteously called a hash halt, the moment we arrived they were off again. Bit testing for us blokes not in full training mode.

Not as bad as Antman & Triple J who got lost.

I’d guess PH3 had 12 runners and about the same number of walkers.

Barcode copped a down down for his golf shot which landed behind the ladies tee [think called a harlot] via a blackboy.

Tucker was terrific and plentiful thanks to Sir Knob & Lilliana [more credit to the latter methinks!] for the curly fettuccine bolognaise.

Thanks for the carton Scummy.

Ended up being a good night, as usual and much healthier than for those who woosed out!

On On Emu


Run 2526 DICK TRACY with Co-hares BUDGIE and RIMMER at Carine Open Space

25/6/2018  Carine open space. Cold.

Hare: The Hon Dick Tracey   co-hares – there were several, but the most notable were Budgie & Rimmer.

After Dick Tracey running through the qualities of the tucker he had cooked up [impressive that it was non-halal], we set off west along Beach Road on a 3km clockwise loop – too bad if you were a late comer!
Now Dick must have upset some of the locals when setting this run because shortly into the run, Emu encountered a grumpy over-weight male walker who poured shit on him for disturbing his peace. 
Emu replied with the customary "gfy"
Unbeknown  to Gumby who was running some distance behind, when he encountered this bloke, he was already primed up. So some considerable discourse ensued and ended with a healthy trade of insults and expletives. Well done Gumby for representing Hash so eloquently.
Anyway, by then the pack was split into 3 or 4 groups. 
Territory was good and well marked,  but several rather long stretches without falsies or checks. Not good for grouping. ][lgpt folk would interpret that as lack of “groping” opportunity].
Run time ~55 minutes which is ideal.
All good back at the buket. Mrs. Dick Tracy  did outstanding job with piping hot chicken stew and a chicken curry to feed the masses. Thanks guys.
On On Emu

Run 2525 – MARK 1 with Co-hare FAGS at Neil McDougal Park, Como


WHAT A NIGHT – very cold, wet and located in a damp swamp area.  As the pack gathered a downpour had Hashmen huddled under a tree and a lean-to made for one.  Good to see TOP GUN (RHINO) back on his feet.

CO-HARE FAGS had already set the run twice and refused to set it again.  Several maps were given out in case the chalk had disappeared.

Two packs of runners and two packs of walkers set off in different directions.  PHANTOM had his usual dummy spit due to the lack of enthusiasm from the walkers. POLLY back-doored PHANTOM and piloted a second pack of walkers with the assistance of DICK TRACY. POLLY’S walkers’ pack was ambushed by PHANTOM’S raiders and PHANTOM, with the assistance of SOL, overthrew POLLY in a bloodless coup.

Fortunately all returned dry and huddled around the heater to keep warm.

The Runners went out for chalk and found almost none. Fortunately the maps provided should have been a godsend. In the hands of your GM ACTION, with his (not so) trusty wind up torch, he led a small pack of about 7 in a circuit around the park then through the streets of Como. They came across a pack of Walkers led by PHANTOM a couple of times, and ended up at the furthest point at the back of Penrhos School, about the same place as ACTION agreed that he was not on trail. Which was a surprise as he had taken the Runners up some very false false trails! But even so, the Runners found their way back to the bucket after about 50 minutes or so, and didn’t even get rained on.

HORSE drew the raffle and winners were DICK TRACY and DAVE THE POM.

Down Downs for GRIZZLY, BARCODE, COLLINS and STUMBLES – can’t remember what they were for though!

NANNY had a Down Down for having his dog in the circle.

NEON and ELBOWS had Down Downs for no reason.

EMU excelled himself by telling a joke about muzzies where we actually laughed – so he quit while ahead and didn’t go for seconds.

EAGLES supporters were given a Down Down while the COLONEL received an extra Down Down for being a Claremont supporter (1 point loss to West Perth) – he was still bitching about the umpire’s call.

HARES – It was the first time the club has had two packs of runners and walkers each with their own maps.  EMU gave 5 out of 10 for a score – should now be amended to 1 out 10 for the HARE not supplying cutlery or staying to clean up rubbish. However the cassoulet was hot, plentiful and maybe even nutritious.

It was another good night of socialising.

Dick Tracy

Run 2524 – Nanny and the Fox Terrier @ Gwelup Swamp Reserve

Nanny and the Fox Terrier

Well this shaped to be interesting – Nanny started by giving Phantom a map of a dull walk around the lake –about as  interesting as a tongue kiss from Colonel . Phantom protested (read spat the dummy ) and the Fox Terrier produced a map of the run itself. Although Nanny had a spit too as he claimed Walkers ruined the run  FAKE NEWS!!!!

Walkers Care !!  

Looking at the map with all it’s FTs and a few checks Phantom reckoned this run would be a candidate for Run o’ Year   –how wrong can one be?

Started with a loop and then an FT and Walkers held back so as not to “root the run”

From here on markings (including Pembo look alikes)  were often difficult to find being on footpath one  minute and curb the next and sometimes apparently not at all .

The pack (Walkers and Runners )was together as we negotiated a trip wire into the park .

Here a cunning FT put the Runners further into the park to a check . PHANTOM’s PHABULOUS PHOLLOWERS (PPP)  with aid of said map walked thru the FT to pop up in front of the Runners or so we thought .Apparently in the dark checking was to say the least ,average ,and the pack began to split  into Quick  ,Slow and Don’t Care

The Walkers ,now well in front of the disoriented Runners proceeded up the hill into Karrinyup but at this stage the Runners were not in sight.

PPP decided to wait a bit for catch up but dissention grew –Some decided to go straight back to the Bucket in case those bastard Runners were lost and back drinking all the piss and eating the chips  The Magnificent 7  (of PPP) kept going before Budgie dethroned King Phantom and lead the Magnificent 7 home but on the way Mumbles took a dive and landed on his head so no damage done

The PPP took just over an hour and Runners about 90 minutes

As I said it had makings of a top run but marred by not enough clear marking ,a bit too long for those over 60 and piss poor checking.

Bloody good night though with oodles of Noodles