Run 2631 – Dick Tracey @ Carine

Perth Hash House Harriers, Run 2631 14 September 2020

Hares, Dectective Senior Sargeant  (retd.) Dick Tracey, Budgie

On a warm spring evening almost forty athletes gathered at Carine Open Space for the eagerly anticipated Dick Tracey run.

Before the start I inteviewed the famous detective, who, displaying commendable modesty, said he would give it a score of 9.5.

The packs set off promptly at 18.00 hours, runners in one direction, walkers a few degrees to the side. Within two minutes of the start, Phantom took a tumble trying to jump over a safety rail onto some steps. He handed the map to first deputy navigator Stewie and went to the local clinic for first aid. The GP  persuaded Emu to drive him to hospital to get his hand stitched up. Ably guided by Stewie, the thirteen remaining walkers did a clockwise loop, staying entirely in the open space. Back in 44 minutes, having covered 3.8 km. Just perfect.

The runners were in soon after the walkers. The venerable Pitt scored it an 8, despite having to cross Reid Highway twice.   Q gave it 7.5 ( I think, I seem to have inadvertently deleted the voice memos on my iPhone).

The circle was no more shambolic than normal. Several downdowns were awarded, deserved or not.

Dick Tracey served excellent chicken burgers with a very good selection of salads. No pots or plates to be cleaned by next week’s hare!

ON ON, Birdman

Run 2630 – Top Gun @ Second Bite

RUN WRITE UP FOR RUN 2630 ON 7TH SEPTEMBER 2020 HARE TOP GUN @ RHINO

The night commenced with a few downers.

1st downer, ACE the co-hare went home crook before the run even started. 

2nd downer, TOP GUN couldn’t get the door to the premises open.

3rd downer, the snaggers and buns had passed their use-by date.

Apart from all that at least it didn’t rain.

SHAKIN and DICK TRACY helped with the cooking.

CHUNDER and BUDGIE sorted out the splash and bucket, filling in for ACE. 

TOP GUN just walked around in circles trying to supervise.

The pack and walkers returned about the same time and were dry without any major grumbles about the run.

POLLY commenced the circle with down downs for DICK TRACY complaining about the ticket sales.

RUMPOLE for something to do with the joker.

SIR KNOB for a birthday.

POLECAT and MUMBLES for years of hashing.

POLLY finished off with a joke about a bloke with tight pants and no balls – still waiting for the punch line.

SIR KNOB gave ELBOWS a down down for cancelling the golf day.

ACTION won the raffle ticket draw.

SIR KNOB told the circle about a bloke who has a business called Coffin Confessions.  He related that this bloke would be in demand from retired politicians wanting to offload on the opposition.

SIR KNOB forgot to mention the run.  I checked with Q who informed me the run was about 8km and a map helped as some of the chalk was washed out. 

The HARE was given 6 out of 10 and TOP GUN was happy as it was his highest score ever.

Free piss was on again and TOP GUN had to clean the barbecue.  At least he did something on the night.

On On

Dick Tracy

Run 2629 – Gnocchi @ Viking Softball Club

As a walker we followed the trail arriving back at 7pm

I believe the runners were on time as well

The rain kept away

We had lights and cover

The meal was excellent

No complaints

Q: How do crazy runners go through the forest? A: They take the psycho path.

Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards? A: She wanted to gain weight!

Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? A: The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup”!

Q: What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers? A: A virgin.

Q: How do you know when you’ve married a running enthusiast? A: When you have more running clothes than regular clothes in your laundry pile.

Q: Who is the fastest runner of all time? A: Adam, because he came first in the human race!

Q: If twenty monkeys run after one banana, what time is it? A: Twenty after one!

Q: What do you get when you run in front of a car? A: TIRED

Q: What do you call a free treadmill? A: Outside.

Q: What do you get when you run behind a car? A: EXHAUSTED

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? A: Run! She’s got a hand grenade in her mouth.

TOPGUN

Why walkers do a run write up is beyond my intelligence