Report of the Inaugural Meeting of The Shelldrake Reserve Runners Club

30th March 2020

Unbelievably, there was a congregation formed at 6pm on the front driveway at Lasagne’s house, the evening was cool and promised great conditions for a fast run. Considering the quality of runners involved, it was decided to split the pack into two groups (and to comply with the new draconian laws to come into force at midnight) and considering that there was a vast age gap there.

Gnocchi, Meeka and Alyse (Nanny’s youngest daughter) took off at the front of the pack, and were never headed as best we could see from the back of the pack. Lasagne and Nanny, making up the slow runners at the back of the pack set a furious pace (for us) just trying to keep those front running bastards in sight. As you would expect, we quickly went past Shelldrake Reserve and paid homage to runs past from this great location, and continued on down Odin Drive towards Karrinyup Rd.

The FRB’s were advised to take a couple of left turns into the false trails, which they refused. This only added to the antagonism between the front of the pack and the back of the pack, which Meeka tried to defuse the situation by running alternately with either the front or the back of the pack depending on the smells she detected along the way. There was a brief Hash Holt called just after we passed to the west side of the freeway. At this point, the hare pointed out (in no uncertain manner that the FRB’s could do some extra false trails otherwise their rations would be severely cut when they returned. Fortunately for all, they heeded this advice and were seen regularly going off in the wrong direction and having to catch up. Or, as I suspect really happened, Lasagne advised your faithful scribe to do a bit of shortcutting with him so we could keep the pack approximately together.

This was working fine until Meeka spied ducks on the pond and took off into the water. Getting in was fine, but getting out proved a challenge as the mud around the edges went on for a good 10 metres and it was sticky. We nearly had to send in a rescue party to get the dog out of the mud. It took us five minutes to start running again, as we were all laughing so much at the colour of the dog and sympathised with the daughter who would be tasked with cleaning the dog before it was allowed inside again.

Resuming the run through Gwelup, we eventually wended our way under the freeway and back to where the drink stop was the run of the year (last year), only to find that there was no one in attendance. At this point there was the accusation that your poor scribe was guilty of leading the pack astray last time by running through a false trail and dragging the pack with me. I pleading my innocence with no success as the spaghetti eaters repeatedly kept up their merciless attack on me. I gave in and ran with the dog alone for a while and sulked.

So we had to run on drink less.

As we approached the end of the run, those FRB’s succumbed to a false trail and allowed the hare and his slow mate to lead the pack in the dark, followed by the now dry Meeka, Alyse and last of all was Gnocchi. Drinks were waiting and handed out by the ever helpful Mrs Lasagne, but Rumploe would have been devastated because there were no Chips.

Next run is scheduled to start from Nanny’s driveway in a week at 6pm. It is promised to be a live hare run, but a week’s a long time these days. One thing is for sure, we won’t go past any lakes.