RunRightUP 2546 Rimmer RUN 12-11-2018
Arriving early as was their usual practice Holmes and Ace proceeded down Warwick Road at a gentle pace, “I say Holmes said Ace” “that dastardly bastard Professor Moriarty has stolen the Feet Signs from the Lloyd Drive turn off and the Hash Chaps won’t know the way to the Hash Meet – Warwick Bowling Club Car Park.”
“Blimey” said Holmes “can’t have that! let’s alert The Hares” and they did. Rimmer swung into action and Feet Signs were posted. Moriarty was very so pissed off – he closed down the Warwick Bowling Club Car Park and made all the early Hash Chap comer’s move their cars over to the Hockey Stadium Car Park.
All was well then, until the Mole started running around in circles (Moriarty had nailed one of Mole’s feet to the pavement) the Mole was yelling it’s a Fuck UP, it’s a Fuck Up until Dick Tracy pulled out his service revolver and put the Mole out of his agony.
Things seem to settle down as the Hash Chaps ranks swelled and we spied Elbows fresh from his beach shag oops soory typo…shack. Holmes saw some sheets of paper fall out of Elbows pocket and was about to return them, but an award certificate heading caught his eye.
It read “To Elbows Year 11 Literary Award” Best Shortest Novel Ever– Titled – ‘Her Mum & Dad Went Out’
Holmes speed reading ability help him share what you are about to read, and we all know that Elbows is very proud of his work
‘The night was dark and stormy, the toilet light was on, a shot rang out, her guts spilled out, I got out. Wouldn’t you?
No doubt Elbows got Dick Tracy to clean up that mess for him?
The young lady survived she had mealy given birth. A person of interest matching Elbows description had been seen frequenting the young ladies house during the past 9 months. As DNA testing had not been invented in those days no charges were laid’.
A large pack assembled in ideal conditions. Mumbles tried to bribe Horse with a bottle of wine. The Hare Rimmer was ably helped by his brother in law Bob. The run linked up four parks, occupied by dogs exercising people and sports kids exercising people without dogs. The run was an anti-clockwise circus of streets which thru some Cosmos Hashers.
POMY Hashers felt right at home in ‘WARWICK’ meaning ‘SheKnows’ so runners didn’t want to linger longer.
The run lacked sufficient FT's. ALL New Runs shall have 4km of FT’s and 4km of Checks
Returnees were Kilkenny in a new scratched Jaguar car, Conman, Nanny & Pooch.
Down, Down Rhino left his TOPGUN car unlocked and the only thing stolen was his Hash cap, it needed a wash – thieves promised to return it after wash and dry clean. Moses put on his birthday beers…he’s just so HAPPY. Barefoot won the raffle ticket but not the Joker.
The Cricle finished early – Food queued formed and Rimmers Dragon’s breaths curry was a special lap-up treat and it burns, burns, burns the burning RING of fire but so bowel cleansing the morning after.
Soon after with Warwick meaning ‘SheKnows’ whispering in from the darkness of the suburb around us the Runners left early silently disappearing into their cars heading home…SheKnows, SheKnows, Elbows revved his engine and shouted “I DON’T CARE as he disappeared into the darkness.
The clean-up guru crew guys begun the Bucket pack up and Ace loaded the dirty curry pots pans and dishes into the back of the Commodore Station Wagon.
As Holmes and Ace proceeded at a gentle pace heading South down the Freeway a heavy fog of Dragons Breath Curry permeated every corner of the Commodore Station Wagon and they could hear Professor Moriarty cruel mocking laugh as they crossed the Narrows that separates North from South. Was it the Curry or a cruel Moriarty FART?!
Ace & Sherlock