Run 2517 – Anzac Joint Run hosted by Bullsbrook at Garvey Park

Run 2517 – Anzac Joint Run hosted by Bullsbrook at Garvey Park, with Perth, Hamersley, Fremantle, West Coast and assorted others.

Hashmen of Perth amassed with all their assorted buckets at Garvey Park for this Anzac Run hosted by Bullsbrook. The weather was cool but still, so ideal conditions, another perfect night for Hashing.

Proceedings commenced just before 6:15 with some traditional Anzac words to commemorate those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for their country, with many Hashmen wearing their best Anzac t-shirts, various military regalia and a few medals in the mob.

The pack of over 100 runners and walkers set off at a good pace through Garvey Park along the River, then the runners took a couple of right-handers onto Great Eastern Highway back towards the airport. From this point I have no idea where the walkers went. The runners quickly spread out along the long straight runs, as the global chalk shortage became apparent, with the total number of checks and false trails countable on one hand. The pack found enough arrows to be taken on a tour of the airport extremities along Fauntleroy Avenue, Dunreath Drive and the now-blocked-off Brearley Drive. The front runners were cracking along at quite pace as we crossed Great Eastern Highway again, where I deliberately slowed down to allow young BONER to catch up to give him some confidence in his upcoming double-stage of the Margaret River Ultra Marathon in s couple of weeks time.

We swung back into Garvey Park and finished on the out trail after a short, sharp 5.5km run, where we were welcomed with cheese and crackers to accompany the Splash, courtesy of the wonderful Hound Dog committee. Miraculously, the walkers appeared from a different direction, but arrived safe and sound without losing anyone, not even Phantom.

The circle was led by some interesting Bullsbrook characters, where charges were heard. BONER was made to sit on ice "probably" for talking in the circle. Our very own Hash Flash SHERLOCK upset proceedings when he was charged having a bigger one than the Bullsbrook Hash Flash (I’m taking about photographic appendage around his neck). When he was instructed to sit on ice for this crime he stood in the circle, raised his middle finger as a sign of his respect of the authority therein, and told them all to “Get fucked”. This prompted much jeering amongst the pack, whereby one of RUMPOLE's Hamersley mates offered to sit on the ice on SHERLOCK's behalf. TAMPAX, a Bullsbrook hare, was given a down-down for losing his car keys while setting the run, which were never found and resulted in the RAC towing him, and his car, home. BUDGIE was called up for his antisocial parking of the bucket, and his Perth mates offered to transfer him to Hamersley, but this generous offer was refused. So we've still got him.

Some raucous singing of Hash Club songs finished the circle, including a solo performance by the only member of Fremantle Hash to be present. After which Perth Hashmen chowed down on some delicious pasta which your GM ACTION had cooked up earlier in the day. It was so good that leftovers were taken by Antman and Horse for their dogs/chooks or maybe for breakfast the next morning. But it was a good crowd, good weather, runners ran and walkers walked. What more could you want from a night of Hashing?

Well, maybe a bit more chalk . . .

Run 2516 ANTMAN at Joondalup Arena

I was looking forward to this run after weeks of listening to Antman bang on about how good it was going to be, we have had to endure every detail as we car pool to Hash every week, mind you it makes a change to listening to him and the Mole chat incessantly about trains or train sets (yes toy trains)and yes I know they are grown men. I actually prefer trainset chatter over Antmans description of one of his thousands of beer bottle labels as I usually fall asleep then wake up at the ONON with a stiff neck.
So to the run, my night started with an unexpected passenger in mister Tracy’s car, Budgie was sitting in the front seat (where I usually sit) I wasn’t told why he was there I am assuming his normal lift has got fed up listening to him and hand balled him to us.
We then picked up the Mole and we were on our way, not to far tho as the discussion turned to which way to go, so after some excellent instructions from the Mole we were off, I did notice the mole didn’t hear mister Tracy say he knew the way as he was a West Perth supporter and went to Arena Joondalup every other week, the Mole is helpful like that always telling people where to go I don’t understand why some people find it annoying.
Budgie kept us entertained with tales of the bucket, wow what a great job the tuggers do and what fun they have doing it, it seems like a lot of fun driving all over the country side with The dog and the colonel, and at the end of the night they get to pack all the gear away count all the bottles budgie said it has something to do with keeping Alzheimer’s at bay by keeping the mind active, they even have a bloody song something about green bottles and a wall sounds like they have a laugh.
Before we knew it we were in Joondalup and the Mole and Dick were trying to decide where to park, it’s almost like they are married.
So we run out of the car park to a false trail at the back of the Arena, sadly it one of the few falsies we would see. It was very thoughtful of the hares to have us run around the Arena amongst all the young fit bodies playing soccer and rugby just a gentle reminder to us of our former selves.
It’s hard to say where we ran as sadly most of Joondalup looks the same, for me I crossed the main road through the city centre then got myself involved in a conversation with Birdman about birds of all things, then I found myself with a tough decision do I stay with the walkers or do I go down the footpath into the darkness with the pack getting farther away, I go after the pack and end up in the middle of a field with my torch running low on batteries I headed for the light found the main road again followed the out trail back to the bucket where a nice cold beer was waiting, thanks again to the tugger.
The pack arrived home to a sigh of relief from the hares, then the walkers made it back and another Perth Hash run was completed.
The circle was called and Horse jumps on the box and we are off, visitors were called up and given a drink, Horse told the story of his son Brumby being born on the day Emu ran his first Hash run or maybe the other way around, Elbows was given a down down for another imaginary sexual experience, Stewie was thanked for his efforts raising money for the 50th birthday celebration, well done Stewie.
The RA moved onto the box and we waited to see which way he would go would he be PC or non PC, I think the latter as he can’t help himself, we were shown a photo of someone’s wife wearing a burka and I’m sure I have seen her before I would need to have a closer look but I’m sure I’ve seen her face before, we needed to get going as the food was ready and the hares were pissed, Batak was called up and retrospectively given a down down for last weeks run not having enough false trails and to much Pizza, or was it the other way around.
The hares were called Antman and Scumbag what a combination, there was a bit of banter about the lack of false trails and parts of the run being to long, for me it was just the right length even if I only did half.
The food was Antmans creation from Brazil and with the assistance of Scumbag it was dished out and there was plenty for everyone, my opinion it was very good and very hot. All good as far as I’m concerned.

Well done to the Hares and good on you Antman for trying out some new territory 10 out of 10 for me.

All in all a good nights Hashing was had and my thoughts turned to the journey home and how it would go with the mix of personalities, I soon found out as we got in the car mister Tracy turned to the Mole and said Mole I know the fucking way home so sit down and shut up.
Thank you for reading this and remember those of you who think this is a load of shit, it probably is.


Triple J

Run 2515 – Botak @ Empire Avenue Reserve

Monday the ninth of April – a night to remember! Botak, and his ex-Vanuatu Hash mate Dick Cargo, set us a run in the hilliest, most mountainous of Perth suburbs (unless you include where the hillbillies come from). Wembley Downs, noted for housing some of those athletes who came to the Commonwealth games when they were held in Perth, provided an excellent venue for demonstrating our athletic prowess. After welcoming a few returnees and visitors, and also the West Coast Hash boys who were running with us, we set off through the leafy streets of this serene suburb. Many of us, myself included, were completely spent by the top of the first hill. No sympathy from Botak though. Five kilometers into the run the trail was still heading outwards. Eventually the end appeared, but only after I had run (well, partly run)  7.6 kilometers.

The bucket was more convivial than usual, possibly due to the high number of returnees, including Tank and Fingers, and the presence of our younger brethren from the other Hash. Bushranger treated us to a tour of his new BMW  X5, which had every gizmo conceivable. The car was so pristine and shiny that I am surprised that Bushy allows it out on the streets, especially on a Hash night. Birthday boys were Shaken, who brought along a carton of Elsie beer (I once had an Aunty called Elsie) and JJJ who did not bring along a carton as he found the instructions for providing it to be too complicated. Scumbag treated us to some entertainment by smashing a glass bottle on the ground in front of the wagon, and a collective down-down was laid on for all the runners of English origin. Quite a number, except for the notable absence of Scummy who was too embarrassed to appear in front of the gathering – always was a shy, retiring fellow was Scummy.

The run was very well received and was followed by some generously topped pizzas – not the thin cardboard type with a smear  of tomato paste across the top. Well done Botak – we look forward to your next run



Pembo turns it on or Phantom M.I.A. Pack panics

Pembo turns it on




Phantom M. I . A Pack panics



A lovely warm autumn day  as I drove up ,caught up with my wife at the home then swung over to Willetton for my first Laksa run, Crayfish has been talking of this and giving top marks so I thought it was ideal to see the boys and enjoy a run with them. When I arrived at the car park they were wandering around with worried looks on their faces, what's up I said ,well the wagons missing and so is Phantom and we are not sure what to do he always gets things organised, personally I though the wagon was more important but kept this to myself. There must be a shortage of co hares as Pembo had selected Elbows.


All the old faces were there and I was flat out meeting and greeting, Barefoot must have gone via an aged care centre as he brought some old derelicts along to enjoy the  night , how thoughtful of him. Antman arrived with his crew and the pack built up still no sign of the wagon but its time to go. Trail marked with permanent paint so we use it again, a good energy saving measure, runners this way, walkers well two ways I went the wrong way and never really caught up. I'm with Colonel and his dog [no kids in sight] Mark 1 decided after 300 metres that was enough and turned for home, we battled on manfully keeping the walkers in sight but never catching them, the trail was well marked in fluorescent paint [green] and dodged in and out, a solid pace showed how unfit  I was the runners were behind us as we ducked down a pathway between houses. THEN a large fat lady came out and told us in no uncertain terms  to keep the noise down,this irritated Mole who gave her a big ON On whereupon she said  “I hope your arse blows up” to which Mole replied “ If it looked like you I hope it does” speeding up in case the husband came out, then thinking no chance she's got one ,we hit a park littered with dogs, Colonel gives the dog its head and there were so many bums to choose from it didn't know which one to sniff.


Still behind but at Pembos its a drink stop being late we got the dregs, Mrs Pembo handled the mob gracefully and we are off ,its nearing the hour not home yet, Rusty Nuts draws level and gives me the guff on the gossip then its home. A quick ice cold beer settled things down although Rumpole still looked a bit worried ,Elbows is dishing the drinks in a professional fashion I pointed out to Rumpole that as the wagon was late nobody got a drink before the run a cash saving measure, this cheered him up. All too soon its circle Horse takes control [well sort of] bellows out some general business , Emu takes over and the pack cop it including me as the oldest runner as this Sunday I am 81. Later that night I realised how unfit I am when I went to sit down.


Anyhow the queue forms in front of me was a lady in a bright green top , sari and a bandana obviously a local caught up by mistake no its Bushie letting his inner child out.We sit down Pembo dishes out a Barossa red Polecat and I  thought it was a cheeky wine and we were amused by its preciousness. Around comes the Laksa my bowl could have doubled for a hand basin, I tucked in had a chat to Emu and Neon and the foods great , more wine, then the raffle left the cash in the car so no chance. Cripes another dish I'm full to the brim so give it a miss but Budgie[67 kg wringing wet] finishes it off.


Full to the brim I bid adieu and headed for home being in the wrong lane I missed the Freeway and did the grand night time tour of the Fiona Stanley car parks back on track and little traffic dawesville looms. Thansk to all Pembo10/10.





Run 2514 Pembo’s (9th) Easter Tuesday Laksa Run

It was a warm balmy evening when the pack assembled in anticipation of Pembo’s annual Easter Tuesday Run, to be followed by the Laksa meal at his chosen eatery.

Horse called us to order at precisely 6.00 pm, then encouraged Pembo to tell us what was in store. No one believed him when he said that the walkers’ trail was marked with Hi Vi paint, but it was subsequently found to be so. Astonishing, when an earlier paint-marked run by Pembo, some time ago, sparked something akin to the current debate over Messrs. Smith, Warner and Bancroft!

The runners ran, the walkers shuffled, the dogs did what dogs do, and we advanced into Pembo country. Then followed a welcome diversion into Pembo’s back yard, for a mid-run drinks stop – more than kind, and much appreciated.

Then we hurried-on into the ever darkening evening, before returning to The Beer Truck just before 07.00. Emu was firm but discrete, Horse was avuncular. The down-downees were accepting of their fate and, soon, we hurried into the eatery for the promised Laksa, preceded by spring rolls, washed down by the darkest Shiraz it has ever been your reporter’s pleasure to sample.

Afficianados of Asian food declared the Laksa excellent, and required the chef and his staff to acknowledge our appreciation of the food, with their down-downs. There were some who darkly muttered that they would have preferred sausage, but not me, Botak, your white Singaporean.

It was a great evening, appreciated by all. I hope that my Wembley Downs adventure next week will be as good, although the pizza that I will be serving-up will be a faint shadow of the quality and quantity of the Laksa.