Run 2508 Action @ Carine Open Space

The first run under the guardianship of the new Hound dog committee set by none other than GM Action and ably assisted by Moses and that entrée on a lead.

Carine open space is always a good starting point for a winter run and its  guaranteed to be cold. Whoops, it was a summer run – bring back global warming!


So off we headed, after the initial falsie split the pack, across the grass into a 50km gale, over Oakley Rd to the highlands of Carine. Plenty of falsies as we wound around before crossing Beach Rd., but I think already we had two packs by this time.

After what I would estimate to be 2/3 of the run, we lost the trail and decided once giddy, to head home, arriving about the same time as the front runners.

There followed a great circle, even a welcome to country complete with smoking ceremony.

Tucker was most very tasty and a good thing it was hot, given rather cool conditions.

A good night Action.


[Thanks to Dickie & Rumpole for giving the van a thorough cleaning]



On On Emu

The Hon Sec’s 2500 run write up

PH3 2500th Run

Almost 50 years ago, several young men gathered under the banner of the Perth Hash House Harriers for the very first time, and last week we celebrated our 2500th Run, a milestone to be proud of. So, after giving ourselves a day to recover from our celebratory dinner on the Saturday night, the group gathered on the Monday for our official milestone run (we’ve actually already had our 2501 – 2504, but hashers like to do things differently for sure).

Our group was joined by hashers from all over, notably most of the Hamersley guys, the West Coast guys, a few Harrietts and some from Rocky City so I believe, at the Olympic Kingsway Sports Club in Madeley. A massive thanks to all those who joined us from other Hash groups, we ended up with over a 100 folks which was great. So off went the packs, one of runners and one of walkers on trails set by two very experienced hares in FT and The Mole. I was told before the run started that it was designed specifically to f*#k up Phranger from West Coast and I believe it worked well. I wasn’t on the run, but I have had to field several complaints from the elderly residents of Wisteria Lane, I’ve suitably redirected them to Hamersley H3. From all reports the run was well marked, with interesting territory, and a drink stop which was typically hijacked by Hamersley who, as we all know, take it up the arse.

Back at the Kingsway Olympic, there was a frantic grab for the 2500th t-shirts, poor Gerry Can was getting smashed by eager PH3 members desperate to get their preferred size. Equally as smashed was the poor girl behind the bar who obviously had no idea how quickly Hashers can put away stubbies. As the finger food was handed around, the circle got underway, with Barcode struggling to reign in the raucous crowd. Never the less, as usual what he had to say was worth listening to. Some of our more esteemed members (read old), including Fags, Phantom, Chunder, Wagon, Sir Tomarse, Horse, Mumbles and Polecat were called up for their more than 40 years of membership with PH3. Past members who are no longer with us were also recognised. Barcode then continued to build his legacy of unity by inviting Phantom and Boner to kiss and make up, whilst heading off a potential conflict between our current Hash Flash Sherlock and our newest member Con who is a professional photographer. Ace and Ramrod were called up for causing a fuss at the 2500th dinner with dietary requirement issues. Ace for being a glutard (correct medical terminology for one who is gluten intolerant) and Ramrod for dropping Barcode in it with his wife by not arranging food she could eat. Rumpole would also have been called up, but ironically, he was absent due to a particularly nasty bout of food poisoning.

Then up came our RA who had engaged some the PH3 CSI team to investigate who it was who had won the raffle prize of a free root at the knocking shop on a run some decades ago. In true law enforcement style, when they can’t find the actual culprit, they make up some evidence and make an accusation. Phantom was duly handcuffed (I’m told this was what had happened in the knocking shop too) and taken down. The hares were called up and commended for an excellent run. Some more beers, some beef roles and another Perth Hash event was successfully closed out. Thanks to all who helped out and all those who came.

On on,


Horse and Pitt in Hazalmere

Horse and Pitt in Hazelmere

When I first arrived at the bucket, I thought we were going to be in the shit big time. Everything was going f#*king wrong. The bucket arrived full of warm beer thanks to the lack of ice. The hares had left the watering cans at home. There was no site of the Hon Sec (who apparently was caring for his wife, but maybe gone into hiding after he lost the run of the year trophy and then blamed the entire club for not returning it, only for it to resurface under his pool table.) There was no Grand Master either, though he did make a late appearance.

Quite obvious to all that there was only 1 week to go with this committee!

The run started on time with the hare pointing us on in the right direction while the co hare collected watering cans and Ice.

The run started with the usual loop around the park and then worked its way down to the Helena River Mosquito Plain. This is where it got interesting as we had all the runners following trail in a paddock, while a nameless walker started calling on, 400 meters away. To say this led to mass confusion is an understatement. To the walkers, the lesson learnt here is to allow the runners to find the trail!

On we went through some quaint suburban streets and up to the railway lines, where the pack briefly lost the trail before finding it again under the recently graffitied bridges. We clambered through the empty spray cans and used syringes and back into the houses, only briefly though as the trail then took us into waist high grass as we came back to the river.

We battled through and ended up in the new housing estate before coming back out onto west parade with a short on home.

A great run, well set by the hares.

The circle was high jacked by a minority group of hashmen trying to bribe the RA into changing our newly acquired member’s (Sunfish) name. This act of treason was convincingly shouted down and Sun fish shall live on. Gumby then reminded everyone what can happen if you try to change your name, you usually end up with a worse one! Plenty of poor hash men have copped names they aren’t too happy about, but that is the beauty of hash. They are hash names, used at hash, for hashing purposes.

The hares then provided a ham and salad roll which went down a treat. Great job Horse and Pitt.

2500 Run

I think the outgoing flock of seagulls deserve at least another two feathers in their caps.
One for the excellent social gathering of past and present members of the club on Saturday night, and the 2nd, one for the    venue and  the 2.5 run. Top marks to PR crew or was it the Phantom? for the gathering of the clans,  cause he knows everyone!  Must be why he had handcuffs on.
It might have been the acoustics or the West Coast pricks complaining about “No Chips”.  It was difficult to hear what was going on.  Anyway they soon shut up when all the finger food came out.  Talk about Seagulls.
After the circle, Hamersley  started bitching.  They thought that was all the food they would get, until they saw Perth Hash forming a queue to receive a very succulent roast beef roll.   Well done.
The Run must have been o.k. as I heard no complaints from the Harriett's.  You won’t anyway as they are always busy catching up on the latest gossip.The walk was very good, except for one small glitch.  The Phantom went down a dead end street;  he called it a false trail! until we got back on track.  Job well done to the Flock.
As they fly off into the sunset in February they may be  persued  by the Pack of Mongrels”,  You first heard  it from Xmas.
The title of the GM will be changed to FIDO and the ON SEC known as “The Bitch”.
Hash Cash will be the “Dog Catcher”.
The Circle, The Dog Pound”
All currant canines will be brought back in and all “Puppies”  the rest of us caught yapping in the Pound will be tied up on leashes,  15 meters away (watch out Scummy.)
Dog Collars will be sold by Hash Hasberdashery        with name tags extra.
On the runs or “Walkies”  as they will come to be known. There will be no running up the ass of anyone.  If you need a piss, you are required  to   stand on one leg  next to a lamp post.  Chewing  up pussys will not be tolerated, just ask  Antman.   Licking  your own balls is o.k.
If you need a dump, just ask Ramrod, he carries plenty of spare  yellow bags. 
On return to the pound there will be no more chips as the Mongrels have talked Pembo into bringing along 20 kilo bags of dog bickies.
And to conclude in the New Speak, it’s not ON On but Woof Woof.
Xmas (The Dog Whisperer) 



Run 2505 Xmas in Stirling

Run 2505 Xmas Stirling

The easterly wind was keeping the flies & midges away, as we congregated next to the open drain behind the Kathmandu Store in Stirling. Xmas said we needed agility & patience on a challenging run, just follow the arrows.

The runners & walkers set off and mingled together looking like a dog’s breakfast as they negotiated a hole in the dog fence to gain access to the open drain, eventually all climbed thru including the dogs. As per usual Deeply Borings dog wanted to be part of the video and dived in for a swim at the dogleg of the drain. He looked up, as his master tried to persuade him to climb out of the dirty, stinking water. Luckily he didn’t see the ducks exercising.

The culvert crossing at Scarborough Beach Rd held up all who had assembled on the western side Luckily the diamond mesh fence provided some safety hand holds to carefully navigate to the other side. Well done Mumbles. For one’s safety, all runners took a careful crossing of SBR to head south and find a massive false trail. I counted 29 walkers, returning from the false trail, only to head into the Anaconda car park& Botanic Bar car park. Did Bushie stop for a taster?

Over Leige St to the Greater Union Cinema, over SBR at the lights again and await in McDonalds for the less agile walkers to cross. Under, thru, above the car park levels of Westfield Innaloo to find a long straight stretch up Dongara St, where the runners could stretch the hamstrings and spread out again. The trail continued east up Cedric St towards the Freeway and back under IKEA to home at 6.45 pm.

The quietest part of the circle were the 5 dogs, all tired up, sitting on the concrete & looking at their owners. There is more respect from them, than the dog-eat-dog attitude of the front runners. The Onsec was dogmatic for 17 minutes of announcements, including anniversaries for The Mole 17 years & Antman 35 years. Birthdays for Deke & Elbows, who is looking dog tired these days.

Food was lamb cutlets & rice, plenty to feed the masses and no one took a doggy bag home. Virgin country and a difficult site to please the masses, well done Xmas, a score of 8. We all left to return to the dogsbody in the dogbox.

OnOn Horse.