Run 2491- Moses’ Run from Inglewood Oval 23rd October 2017
The masses gathered at Inglewood Oval to partake in a run set by the revered Moses, and his trusty disciple Bushie. The weather, although overcast, was neither cold nor windy and therefore perfect running conditions. When you factor in the decades of Hashing experience of both the Hare and the Co-Hare, there was an overwhelming expectation of an“11 out of 10” run, a run which would be remembered in history as legendary as the parting of the Red Sea by the Hare himself.
The run set off through the park and into Edith Cowan University car park where it all got a bit confusing as the trail seemed to disappear. Runners went out in all directions in the search for chalk or possibly a sign from God (or Moses). Maybe it should have taken us through the maze of the campus buildings, but eventually the young buck Boner, who fortunately was the proud wearer of the bell, called “On On” and “clanged” from the far reaches of the car park. The pack re-assembled and followed the arrows south-west along Alexander Drive, back into the Uni where the trail fizzled again, however it was all part of Moses cunning plan, as the trail was found again in the other direction and across the road. You see, Moses is much smarter than he looks.
So the pack swore and cursed around the rest of the trail, as they encountered very long false trails and excruciatingly long straight runs around Mount Lawley Golf Course and north up to Grand Prom. Moses put in yet another long false trail at the high point of the run (i.e. in elevation terms at least) on the only hill in Inglewood by the Islamic College. At this point Emu, happy in the knowledge that his tax was being spent on such a worthy cause, led the pack along some further long straight runs until finally arriving back at the bucket for a well-earned splash and a beer, 10.4km 1 and a quarter hours after starting the run.
The circle saw the returnees Vespa and Horse get a down down. Horse was called up again with Chunder for birthdays, and generously put on a couple of cartons. Vespa also featured again, taking the blame for a London jewel heist where he drove the getaway vehicle – a Vespa of course. Visitors Cods and Jack Russell were given a DD, but Nanny (another member of the hash dog walkers club) took the DD for Jack Russel who had already escaped his leash. The dynamic duo of Shakin’ and Rumpole, the Hash Tuggers, were charged with pathetic parking of the bucket, meanwhile token Kiwi Mumbles took one for the All Blacks going down to the Wallabies. Elbows, no stranger to receiving down downs for any excuse, was charged with reporting that there was too much “shaggy” (not “shiggy”) in the previous week’s run write-up, although maybe he was right the first time. Also a call went out for the Spring Run/Father-and-Kids camp and the Hash Lunch which all commence on the same weekend (from Friday 3rd November).
Our Religious Advisor Triple J called up Barcode for driving his kayak into his garage door, but Triple J confessed to his own cock up of buying a bargain priced dishwasher only to find it was white not silver. Triple continued to lay charges to unsuspecting Hashmen for things they may or may not have actually done (but why let facts get in the way of a good story): Barefoot for going for a walk every night because his wife always won the argument; Lasagne for winning big wonga on an Italian rider winning the Moto Grand Prix; and something about Nanny and his dog (again).
Despite the reported comments of “useless”, “hopeless”, “not enough chalk”, false trails too long”, “too many long straights”, Triple J claimed it was a great run, although he did mention that if you ran all the false (long) trails you would be “f*#@&ing knackered”. Triple awarded 9 out of 10 which sounds pretty good. Until you compare it to the 10 out of 10 runs that Triple J is handing out all the time. I’ll let you ponder on that one. Food was generous amounts of mash and beautifully tender silverside, with a complimentary gherkin to cover your fresh vegetable requirements.
Thanks Moses and Bushie, you provided a quality hash run, good food, and gave the boys loads to moan about for the whole week, so everyone’s happy! Who called the Hare a prick? I think he’s a great bloke. For a Hashman.