Run 2491- Moses’ Run from Inglewood Oval 23rd October 2017

Run 2491- Moses’ Run from Inglewood Oval 23rd October 2017

The masses gathered at Inglewood Oval to partake in a run set by the revered Moses, and his trusty disciple Bushie. The weather, although overcast, was neither cold nor windy and therefore perfect running conditions. When you factor in the decades of Hashing experience of both the Hare and the Co-Hare, there was an overwhelming expectation of an“11 out of 10” run, a run which would be remembered in history as legendary as the parting of the Red Sea by the Hare himself.

The run set off through the park and into Edith Cowan University car park where it all got a bit confusing as the trail seemed to disappear. Runners went out in all directions in the search for chalk or possibly a sign from God (or Moses). Maybe it should have taken us through the maze of the campus buildings, but eventually the young buck Boner, who fortunately was the proud wearer of the bell, called “On On” and “clanged” from the far reaches of the car park. The pack re-assembled and followed the arrows south-west along  Alexander Drive, back into the Uni where the trail fizzled again, however it was all part of Moses cunning plan, as the trail was found again in the other direction and across the road. You see, Moses is much smarter than he looks.

So the pack swore and cursed around the rest of the trail, as they encountered very long false trails and excruciatingly long straight runs around Mount Lawley Golf Course and north up to Grand Prom. Moses put in yet another long false trail at the high point of the run (i.e. in elevation terms at least) on the only hill in Inglewood by the Islamic College. At this point Emu, happy in the knowledge that his tax was being spent on such a worthy cause, led the pack along some further long straight runs until finally arriving back at the bucket for a well-earned splash and a beer, 10.4km 1 and a quarter hours after starting the run. 

The circle saw the returnees Vespa and Horse get a down down. Horse was called up again with Chunder for birthdays, and generously put on a couple of cartons. Vespa also featured again, taking the blame for a London jewel heist where he drove the getaway vehicle – a Vespa of course. Visitors Cods and Jack Russell were given a DD, but Nanny (another member of the hash dog walkers club) took the  DD for Jack Russel who had already escaped his leash. The dynamic duo of Shakin’ and Rumpole, the Hash Tuggers, were charged with pathetic parking of the bucket, meanwhile token Kiwi Mumbles took one for the All Blacks going down to the Wallabies. Elbows, no stranger to receiving down downs for any excuse, was charged with reporting that there was too much “shaggy” (not “shiggy”) in the previous week’s run write-up, although maybe he was right the first time. Also a call went out for the Spring Run/Father-and-Kids camp and the Hash Lunch which all commence on the same weekend (from Friday 3rd November).

Our Religious Advisor Triple J called up Barcode for driving his kayak into his garage door, but Triple J confessed to his own cock up of buying a bargain priced dishwasher only to find it was white not silver. Triple continued to lay charges to unsuspecting Hashmen for things they may or may not have actually done (but why let facts get in the way of a good story): Barefoot for going for a walk every night because his wife always won the argument; Lasagne for winning big wonga on an Italian rider winning the Moto Grand Prix; and something about Nanny and his dog (again).

Despite the reported comments of “useless”, “hopeless”, “not enough chalk”, false trails too long”, “too many long straights”,  Triple J claimed it was a great run, although he did mention that if you ran all the false (long) trails you would be “f*#@&ing knackered”. Triple awarded 9 out of 10 which sounds pretty good. Until you compare it to the 10 out of 10 runs that Triple J is handing out all the time. I’ll let you ponder on that one. Food was generous amounts of mash and beautifully tender silverside, with a complimentary gherkin to cover your fresh vegetable requirements.

Thanks Moses and Bushie, you provided a quality hash run, good food, and gave the boys loads to moan about for the whole week, so everyone’s happy! Who called the Hare a prick? I think he’s a great bloke. For a Hashman.

Elbows and Haggis in Bull Creek on 16th October 2017.

The first thing to mention is that the co-hare delivered weather of Scottish proportions so that he would feel at home in the storm.  However, the Hare was up to the challenge with the venue and a reasonable pack of about 40 were able to get out of the weather for the circle and food.


Good run location, enough parking, easy to find and a nice touch added with Clive doing doughnuts to show respect to the gathering of Hashmen.  I am not sure that many who vote in the district would be more inclined to vote for him than had he not towed his signboard round in the great weather.


The intrepid hare got some flak for the marks for his walkers’ run, described and understood by engineers as a chevron, but for the rest just an arrow head.  But JJJ, a traditionalist at heart demanded to know why a W, good enough for 50 years of hashing, is not good enough for Elbows.


Visitor Bee Man from Brasil was given a couple of down downs and was very gracious in accepting his future name of Festering Scrotum. This caused Antman to nearly swallow his stubbie, holder and all, when Barcode made the announcement.



To the Run and Food. 


This Hashman ran 7km and that did not include too many false trails, but also no shortcutting.  I thought a very good run, with the trail surviving rather well generally considering the amount or rain.  The map was handed to Boner, as a back-up and whilst he got a downdown for being a confused map reader, the pack kept together pretty well and as Nanny said “you know it is a good run when you find yourself , more than once, running just behind a senior (age and stature) gentleman of Hash.


Elbows managed to find some shaggy, bush, minor creeks, grass and even bitumen to run on and all of this without filling our runners with water.  Pretty good job there Gents.


We were kept from crossing any major roads and only skirted Leach Highway the once.  Two false trails got near Karel Avenue.  So reckoned this was a damn fine run all round.


I thought the tucker was extremely tasty, though the curry residue on the pot bottoms were a mark against the cook.



In true recent form, the run was given a 10, but even in normal marking tradition it was worth all of an 8½.



Well done Elbows and Haggis

Bushy and Co. in Dianella

Perth Hash House Harriers: Buuuuuuushy’s  Run : Dianella 9 October 2017.

Out in the northern extremities of close-in suburbs we gathered in the Dianella open space where our beautiful colleague Scottie last set a run (and sent the pack off in the  wrong direction as a harbinger of worse to  come). Very busy little park it was  too with non-hashers  driving  everywhere –including  one  helpful  lady who suggested we  should  not  be there because it will get “very busy”. So I guess we added a little to that busy-ness with our 50-odd members freezing their bollocks off in the last wintery cold breeze for the year. With Bushy, Crayfish and Sir Knob so idealogically aligned as hare/co-hares what could go wrong?

Off in different directions  went the packs (not a good sign) but it all turned out ok with frequent crossings of each other’s paths through  generally flat territory  marked  by dull 70’s houses,  no visible inhabitants and lots of open drains and small parks (after we  emerged from the open space/bush area). The track appeared very well marked with about 14 FT’s (now there’s a frightening concept) and a couple of long straight tracks. The reported range of complete lengths varied up to 9.5 kms for the run and 5.5km for the walkers.

Both packs came in on cue at just under the hour to be heralded by half a boatload of midgets playing a very high grade of basketball to a very low grade sound-track of rap in the court adjacent to the bucket. Cheese, bickies and olives helped that. 

Into the Circle:

Visitors Beeman (mate of Antman) and already-gone Jack Russell, returnees Pembo, Neon, Mumbles, Fags and Mk 1 were ceremonially greeted (Beeman with his shirt on back to  front: D/D for  Antman). Another D/D  (and the  bell) to Goliath for missing the run site and others I can’t remember and  can’t  read on my notes cos the light was fading despite the adjacent overhead  floodlights strong enough to  give you skin cancer, just to add to the deafness  from the rap music. At least each track might have been different as opposed to our very standard, but below par, refrain.

3G scored a D/D and a pizza suit to recognise his new job and Elbows (Oooh me?) won the whiskey/whisky raffle donated  by Xmas. Thanks Xmas. Polecat got a D/D for something he  probably deserved too.

Our Rrrrr ehh?  Triple J then regaled us with the health benefits of being Scottish (it was a very short regaling too). More  down downs.

Out with the Hares: Bushy in a hat which wouldn’t look out of place in a pair of panties.  The general consensus was an excellent run with 10/10 awarded (makes it hard to mark next week’s run too). Top parking, lighting, trail marking and food of hamburgers. (It must have been good- the basketballers enjoyed it  too. On yer Bushy and co-hares.

Scumbag & Antman in East Perth

The East Perth Power Station run site was great for a summer's night but risky for a potentially raining spring evening. The rain God's were kind and we had fine although cold weather.


There was some concern that there wasn't enough car parking but with the car pooling now popular it wasn't a problem even with the crowd swollen by the West Coast hashers.


Scummie waved the starting flag and we were off along the cycle path towards Guildford. Then we veered off the track and over Joel Terrace, up Packenham Street and then back south in some dodgy looking lane ways. 


They reminded me of the time I assisted Ramrod home after a hash lunch in Bassendean. As the train was about to depart from Mt Lawley station Gumby said to me 'wasn't that Ramrod who just fell over on the platform?'. Perhaps I should have stayed on the train instead of guiding a 'pissed' Ramrod through the lane ways to his place?


Back to the run…


Down some more lane ways to the East Perth station. Over the new walk bridge to the north side and into the railway terminal only to exit at the east end.


 After zig-zagging around the carpark we headed south west down Summer Street. I appreciated the Hash Halts which gave me and Barefoot time to catch up.


We ran though the back streets of East Perth and over the Graham Farmer Freeway. Eventually we jogged across Wellington Square and on towards Claisebook inlet.


By then Barefoot was keen to re-pay me for a beer I bought him on a run a few years ago. So it was into the Royal Hotel and a quick pint. I had a Steam Beer and Barefoot chose another.


After the pleasant diversion we set off down Henry Lawson Walk before running along the cycle path near the river.


We were just in time for the circle.


There were some down-downs and Gumby introduced us to some different down-down songs (Ok we only have one Perth Hash down-down song). Basil Brush got up on the crate and addressed the assembled hashers.


The food was hamburgers which was great because that was what I was planning for my run the following week. And the bonus was no plates to wash up. The pots made up for it though with 1/2 inch fat in the bottom for Mrs Bushranger to scrape off before washing them back at the Ranger house.


Later Rumpole explained to the hares the correct way to clean the BBQ before loading it into the Beer Bus. I think they failed the test as the BBQ was still covered in grease and fat this week.


All in all a great run, great food and great company.


As the Irish say….

May you have the hindsight to know where you've been, the foresight to know where you are going, and the insight to know when you have gone too far.




As you slide down the banister of life,

May the splinters never point the wrong way.

on on