Horse trots through swan view

 

 

What's the difference between a hash run in Claremont and a hash run in Swan View?

About 50 false trails.

 

How do you know your GPS is set correctly for Horse's run?

It measures in FT not km.

 

I thought there was only one FT in hash 'till last Monday night!

 

The run was only 10km and I reckon about 11km of that was false trails.

 

Horse walks into a bar.

The barman says "False trail, check back"

 

We only have 3 markings for a hash run; an arrow, a check and a false trail. Horse only knows one!

 

A good circle is a short circle! But a good false trail is … who am I kidding? There are no good false trails!

 

Confucius, he say "a hash man who runs all false trails has a lot to learn"

 

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Aussie go for a run in Swan View. The Englishman finds a false trail, turns around and shouts "False trail, check back". Next, the Aussie finds a false trail waits until the pack have caught up with him and then shouts "False trail, check back". The Scotsman was a walker.

 

Now, I'm not saying Monday's run had lots of false trails, but Mastitis managed to find two!

 

I’m sure most of you are just about sick of hills runs by now, with this being the second in a row, but I’m afraid you’ll just have to put up with them for at least another week!

 

On On

                Q.

2472 Stewie and 3g annoy Lesmurdie

Run 2472      “A Melody of Roasted Vegetables”

Hares               STEWIE (Grandad) & G3 (Grandson) Date 12/06/17

Lesmurdie is a difficult hills suburb to travel to, just ask Emu & Haggis as they had navigational problems & were late. The bucket made it up the hill easily with a cool easterly blowing into the radiator & half a ration of ice. There were many club members standing under the colour bond patio, giving advice to Rumpole & Stewie on where to park it. Sherlock was complaining about Hillbillies & inbreeding, Mumbles did not understand what inbreeding was. Polecat arrived early, Phantom did not show, both situations most unusual. Dollar was worried about honkey nuts falling on his squashed down red Mazda although the red tailed cockatoos had gone to bed by the start of the run.

Sit Tomarse felt the cold and put his overalls on before starting the walk, Deeply Boring’s dog did not feel the cold as she was on heat and the grey hound was not interested, too much effort involved to sniff. The pack headed out to Grove Rd and left the young ‘Colts’ footballers to do their training in the dropping temperature. I did not see any of the runners, except witnessing The Mole lead the pack across the oval and home in 59 minutes. It must have been a great run, with Seagull & Boner leading a visiting runner in, can we sign him up, as he is younger than the average age & faster.

In the circle Scumbag got tongue tyeded trying to explain why he did not have his birthday carton there and when he is going to bring it. However his visitor Paul, made more sense when talking to him. The Mole brought his birthday carton and donated the ice back to the bucket. Sherlock did a down-down for his eighth anniversary, I wonder if he will ever run out of material found on the net to enhance his record of the PH3 gathering at 6 pm. Keep looking, we all enjoy the little tit bits you add to your photos.

The Hares provided a very healthy winter meal of minced lamb & chicken with rice, supported by a melody of roasted vegetables, to keep the cold wind at bay. Even 3G could take some leftovers to school on Tuesday if he is not taking another sickie. If the run was worth 9, then the food was worth 10. Well done guys & Slops.

ONON            Horse

Run 2471     Seagull’s Flock Up Committee

Run 2471     Seagull's Flock Up Committee

Location: Charles Veryard Reserve, North Perth.

With most of those members allocated runs in June deciding they were unavailable to set them, Barcode and Boner stepped in to prevent a potential flock up.

Selecting a central location with good parking, lights and shelter (albeit shared with a couple of unfortunate homeless guys) we had the makings of a successful evening. I remember this spot as the place that Antman's greyhound was first allowed on the streets without a muzzle then promptly chased a cat down a dark alley.

The council ranger did a swing past but left when he saw we weren't all intending to sleep the night and on the assurance there would be no drinking.
Barcode and Boner set themselves a challenge by laying the trail two days in advance  but fortunately Barcode re-checked on Tuesday afternoon on his incredibly expensive mountain bike, which  incidentally Stewie had to transport back to Lesmurdie after the run.

Too difficult to describe every twist and turn but the pack explored much of North Perth and including a brief crossing over the rail line into Northbridge at Lake St. Very good use of the many night soil lanes in the area although the trail did pass dangerously close to the Hyde Park public dunnies. Something odd about the hares attraction to toilets.

The walking pack, expertly piloted by Phantom kept up a good pace arriving back to the bucket in 55 minutes. Seagull, The Mole and French Tickler beat the pack by some 5 minutes but they weren't clever enough to ditch the Uber far enough away not to be spotted. The pack took 65 minutes and all were very happy with the territory utilised and the quality of trail marking.

A good size circle for a Tuesday evening and boosted by two visitors, Mastitis and Moles American brother from Exmouth Hash.

Returnees comprised the entire Bali trip contingent although by all accounts we were lucky the same number returned as went.
A downhill bike expedition was organised from the rim of the Kintamani volcano down to Ubud.
Chunder lacerated his leg.
Haggis sprained his wrist by dismounting at speed over the handlebars with a double somersault and twist. The landing did however indicate more practice would be useful.
Elbows unusual use of his saddle resulted in a reduction in value of the family jewels.
Crayfish before you organise another event please ensure  cycle training in advance.

Our indomitable Hash Flash, the Sherlock shared a generous eski of Kilkenny to celebrate the birthday that last year he might have doubted he would get to. Good on you mate, we always enjoy the power point presentations and we certainly enjoyed the Kilkenny.

The RA, JJJ went missing so The Grand Master, Seagull stepped into the breach.
Unaccustomed as he is to public speaking, the fact that he can, in private, talk the hind leg off a donkey ensured he kept the circle going until the errant JJJ returned to put something on an otherwise bare table.

The food did eventually turn up and was a novel combination of pizza and hot chips. The American Mole described them as French fries which I found a little extravagant for a pile of deep fried potato. Nevertheless the pizzas were very tasty and plentiful.

Xmas ensured the two people sleeping with their stolen supermarket trollies had a good meal. Xmas should be in line for the Golden Boot award for his warm hearted consideration of two who were looking forward to a cold night.

Congratulations to Barcode and Boner, who demonstrated how to organise a top Hash evening. (They told me to say that.)

On On
Stewie
 

Jaapie’s East Freo Fling

Pack of almost 50 athletes and geriatrics assembled under the Stirling Bridge in East Freo to discover the best Jaapie could conjure. Turns out the run was pretty good more so because the walkers had their own trail so the “runners” had the whole surrounding suburbs to get lost in. But we did not. My personal score for the run would be 9/10.

The On-On was a longish affair which tested the pack’s attention span at time. Bon Scott whose portrait is painted high on the abutment wall seemed to enjoy it. The piss was cold (a bonus) and the banter enjoyable. Sweeney (aka Sweetie) copped the bell for being late.

The all-important food was a tasty stew cum curry with rice which came in two spicy choices. Very nice.

 

On On

FT

2470 Deeply Boring’s Nasty Gorang

The MT Hawthorn library must be sick of the PH3 by now, with the deeply family setting another run from there again. Deeply had lost one member SCB but had stolen his shirt. He found another relative, Not So who was doing a great impersonation of the town drunk, to help set the run. It would have been  great if anyone of these three had bought along more chalk to mark the trail with.

We were directed at the start to look for trail up the road on the right going down. Or down the road on the left going up. This resulted in mass confusion for the dyslexic pack who looked left, right , up and down and still couldn't find the trail.

Asides from these small short cummings, the run was a long success. A very long success! The very official Seagullometer measured us in  at 12.8km. Well for those who did the whole run. I suspect some short cutting from the usual suspects. *Mole FT ETC

A good drink stop of mulled wine was enjoyed and back to the bucket in an hour and 10 for another great circle from Seagulls evergreen committee. The RA got a down down for peeing standing up in the ladies toilet. Boner also got picked on about the Halal slaughter of cattle in Australia as Ms Hanson had found a report that all cattle are  still alive before being slaughtered under Islamic law.

The run was awarded a 7/10. A lucky score as the hares then tried in vain to poison the honsec with their take on nasty gorang.  All other hash members survived. one might presume it had nothing to do with the 12 beers the Hon Sec consumed.

Another great night of hashing

OnOn

Boner