2461 Goliath the virgin

The night started off well a good drive from South geralton to atwell, only 40 minutes. You did a good job organising the traffic. On arriving in tell it was thanks to Christmas that we found our way to the ON ON. 


A good roll up of hashers. Short circle. I don't know much about through run but the master runner has done the write up for me thanks FT.


Hi Dollar

My slant on last night’s run.

“a  somewhat confused middle size pack (the on-on directions were incorrect again), gathered at a shopping centre in Atwell in close proximity to the DoRckers new training facility for our first virgin run of the year.

To keep in with the confusion theme, the real hashers were sent in a total misdirection which had the pack sniffing around for the trail for a good 5 minutes. The run kept us east of the freeway heading south, saw-toothing our way down Lyon Road, through new suburbs, around a few ornamental lakes and a nature reserve and eventually back along Gibbs Road to the bucket in 6-6.5km and well ahead of the “Bastard Walkers”, sorry should call the “Rehabilitation Group” misled by a mifted Phantom.

The circle was another lonnnnng affair with DD for birthday boys, a clever avian Ode to Birdman, traditional bullshit from the RA and then usual scramble for the food queue chanting an off-key PH3 anthem.

Dinner was a very tasty curried sausages with boiled rice. A good first up effort from Goliath and Mumbles even though both were technically challenged with one trying to light the BBQ with matches (there is piezo button on the side) and the other stumbling in the dark mixing splash because he did not know how to turn the bucket lights on (there is a switch for that)…” ON ON

Goliath, it was a good night the snags were very moresh. Score 6.5/10 with the food 9/10!


p.s I want the recipe! 



Antman loses the pack

Maybe not the best run of the year (as promised by Antman), but definitely the best run start of the year. A cheeky loop of a sports oval got us back to where we all started from.

However, a track back checkpoint a little later separated the group. I guess all groups thought they had picked the correct course.

From there onwards, there were quite a few too many long straight uphill runs (or maybe because FT was way too fit and found all the false trails well in advance for us). Nonetheless, a great workout.

Just when we thought we were too tired, we had great distraction from a magnificent group of birds squatting over for us while they were doing their personal training. Antman, you get bonus points for planning this.

We were all excited to make it to the end. A hard earned run needed a big cold beer, and the best cold we got was Vic, Victoria Bitter, oh, and ginger beer splash of course.

Great entertainment was followed, and we all had a chuckle about the AGPU 'prick of year' award'.

It was followed by a very yummy hearty meal (chicken, cocunut and rice).


On On



Run 2459 Hamersley’s 2000th

Run 2459 Millington Reserve


After braving the nearby speed camera, which some members unfortunately succumbed to, we assembled at the sports club room, along with well over a hundred members from Hammersley and other male clubs. This was because the run was also Hammersleys 2000th run, meaning that they had kindly agreed to host the evening, along with ‘entertainment’. Some 40 members of PJ Animules had come down from Malaysia especially for the event, which added a touch of interest to the evening. They plastered our van with their stickers to commemorate the meeting.

At 6 pm we set off, following clear directions from Boof. The run was largely set in the Trigg Bushland Reserve, although it ventured down to the coast at one point. Natural historians might have noticed the large number of black millipedes swarming across the limestone tracks. These are Portuguese millipedes(Ommatoiulus moreletii). The Portuguese millipede naturally occurs in southwest Europe. They were first recorded in Western Australia around Roleystone in 1986 and, since the late nineties, have been found in other areas of southwest Western Australia. They are also found in South Australia, Australian Capital Territory, Tasmania and Victoria.

A welcome drink stop was laid on by Hammersley at the coastal car park. Consumption of the beverages was accompanied by a rousing rendition of the Hammersley bolero. After that we ran back to the bucket, aided by the frequent appearance of Boof, who directed us to long or short routes home. Just as we had started to run out of steam Tampax arrived on his bicycle, equipped with a ghetto blaster playing motivational music. It seemed to do the trick for some of us, although I am consistently irritated by hearing ‘We will rock you’ for the 1000th time.

Back at the bucket we were overjoyed to see the appearance of not just one, but eight covorting crumpets. And very fine specimens of humanity they were. I particularly liked the blond in black stockings and suspender belt, who sent my old fellow from its resting 8 inches up to a modest 12 (inches, not centimetres!). After consumption of a few beers the circle began, which was particularly noisy and peppered with f*** this and f**** that. Not really the cup of tea of most PH3 members but the frequent appearance of eye candy made the circle bearable. At 8:30 we adjourned to the club rooms for a gentlemens show. A wench dressed as a fire man appeared, along with a box of toys that I initially mistook for a shoe-shiners pedestal. Various people were singled out for participation, including at one point Seagull’s son. I think the wench became concerned that she might be reported for pedophilia, as the interaction terminated pretty quickly. After a series of somewhat unhygienic acts my attention started to wane, so I retired home for a cup  of Horlichs, so I am afraid I can’t report on the crescendo of the show.

All in all, an epic evening. Thanks to Hammersley for laying on such a comprehensive event.

On  ON


PS: (Ed) The best part was when the the 'Fire Man' wench stuffed an article of intimate aparel in Screwdriver's mouth, taped it shut then did 'wenchie' stuff to him. Screwie was very quiet for once.

Angel and Ripper in Bayswater

Many of the group felt most comfortable when arriving at our run location in Bayswater, given we were stood outside of the local Senior Citizens Centre. After an attempt by Angel to usurp Barcode’s authority by welcoming everyone to the run, we eventually set off on the obligatory loop, this time with a cunningly used steep incline which thoroughly divided the pack within the first 500m. There was some concern at this point as the co-hair seemed to be on the run with us, and had no idea where to go (still trying to work that one out).

Around the streets of Baywater we went, seemingly finding every hill in the suburb. Long stretches kept the pack apart, but some good false trails and checks did bring us back together from time to time. Barcode was stopped at one point by a four-year-old on a tricycle from heading down a dodgy looking easement because, and I quote “there’s double G’s and needles”!!

Towards the back end of the run the pack whittled down slowly to only the four hardiest of Hash men, including, surprisingly, SCB.  Seagull, far ahead as usual, somehow managed to come in 10 minutes after the rest of the runners, managing to get lost between the On Home and Home (how he was elected to Grand Master we’ll never know).

On return to the bucket, Barcode was handed a 15-page description of the walk, but given it was a walk none of it is relevant given this is a run write up.

And on the circle, Birthday down downs were given to Sawbones – who provided a carton even though he didn’t turn up (what a Hash man!! – and yes, I’m looking at you Neon and Boner), and Crayfish, who also provided a carton. Our Hash Horn Q was also given a down down for forgetting to bring the one thing the Hash Horn needs – the horn. Barcode forgot to acknowledge Michael, son of Horse, then delivered one of his outstanding verse’s. 

Dick Tracy, as fill in RA for the Fill in RA then did an outstanding job….filling in. Those Shocker supporters were reminded that their team is shit!! The Hares were given some kind of review, but given Dickie wasn’t on the run it was a bit like announcing the wrong best picture at an Academy Awards ceremony. Food was rissole wraps with coleslaw, messy but tasty. All in all a good night, and a good effort by our hares.

On on,