2404 BONER and Father in Law

Run 2404

Hare: Boner
Sub Hare: Stewie

Location: Up in the Hills near the Perth Airport Radar Tower

A new starting point, at least for me. Ample parking, plenty of ambiance, hares offering a warm beer or two before the start. Yep, no doubt about it, the Hillbillies have a way of setting a run,  that no one else can come close to. Although we are yet to see one of them go streaking through the circle, I’m sure its only a matter of time. You knew it was going to be a reasonable run when Elbows and Rusty were phoning other runners for directions at 5.45pm, no one answered of course (because they were already there and were afraid the new RA would see them and make an example of them).

A couple of minutes past six and still no signs of the bucket, there was the call to arms (read legs) and off we took on the experience of a lifetime if you listened to the hares. As expected the trail was well set, flour when you needed it, chalk just far enough apart. There was no real luck involved, the run was just well set. Experience and a bit of thought go a long way towards a good night. There were sufficient short cuts for those no quite as fast as we used to be, plus the added bonus of  spotting SCB (and the other YOUNG ones) leaving the trail and heading off to the left on a big short cut for those lagging behind the front runners. It was so good that we beat the front running bastards in by 5 minutes. We knew we were onto a winner when the kids met up with Walkers who I am sure had a bit of fun and sent the kids along  the trail (in reverse). Those of us who have had to deal with the skulduggery of walkers before immediately spotted the joke and took off behind the walkers (easily overtaking them within metres – because we haven’t succumbed to having to walk YET).  

To be honest I was surprised where the trail actually finished and home was just a few meters away, I was sure we were coming in from the other side????  Well done hares.

Food was not over the top, but a new take on sausages in a bun. There’s no doubt from any who tried them, that they were top shelf sausages. Well done hares.

Whats wrong with me, you ask? Fancy complimenting an ex-RA who poured water on me twice in one night in Winter – BASTARD. Better than being splashed when you ARE  the RA.

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Just 1 Goats committee’s last Harrah   AGPU 2403
We arrived at the Canning Sea scouts hall, to see a big crowd of Perth hashers and unusual amount of “visitors” drinking our piss. Now I love having visitors come and enjoy Monday’s run with us, but when we run out of piss half way through a circle I have to wonder if they are there for the run….
Anyway on to the AGPU. It was left up to the father/son team of Gnocci and Lasagne to set the run. We took off down Centenary drive, under Leach hway and into the maze of Wilson suburbia. The run was well set with the pack meeting up at the drink stop for a refreshing Frangelico and goat’s milk drink, which curdled well in the summer heat.
Some of the highlights of the run included JJJ at the head of the pack calling onon. The first time this has happened since 2001.
A gum tree was spotted hiding behind Elbows, who had also made his way to the front of the pack due to some crafty short cutting.
Debi was still visibly upset that some uncouth hash men had suggested that he might have put on a couple of kilos over the off season.
Rumour has it that the mole ran on some of the trail and rumour also has it that the new GM Skid will be gagging the mole during circles this year.
On home was a short sprint for most of the pack except for Ring burner who came in 25 minutes later than everyone else.
Back at the bucket a salubrious spread of cheese, biscuits, sausage and assorted shit was provided by the committee. We now know why chip rations had halved during the year. To pay for this spread!
The circle was called in the scout hall where the Seagull gave up his joking telling to a stand-up comedian, the highlight

being the story of how the bucket had run out of beer. It was funny until the pack realised he wasn’t joking! A search party was called and more beer was found at the local.
Of course the highlight of the AGPU is the awards. I have to admit that I was very confident of taking home a few myself. In fact I bought along the trailer to put them in. However to my amazement I didn’t get 1! Unbelievable! I thought I was a big chance for run of the year, regardless of the fact that I didn’t set a run last year. At least we now know who all the suck holes are in the club.
Then the new committee was introduced by a big Monkey. Various names were thrown around but I didn’t take too much interest in who was called out. I have to admit I was sulking a bit about my awards snub. I think someone said something about Skid, Neon maybe Action and mark 1 was mentioned somewhere during the night.
It doesn’t matter to me, I just have to work out a price to pay them for me to win run of the year, which is happening this Monday up in the hills. Watch out for snakes!




Run 2402

Hares: Mumbles & Polecat  with St peter



The pack gathered in the Melville tennis court car park in 42 degrees heat, preying that the hares had called off the run or set a single lap around the oval. Seagull arrived with a boot load of bottles of water and ice to keep us all alive. Budgie arrived shortly after with the van and took 5-6 goes at parking as far away from the 50 lights in the car park as possible. 


By 6 o'clock an impressive crowd had bravely gathered in the heat ready to torture their bodies. We took off with a bottle of water in hand at a steady pace. By 6:30 we realised that this was not just a walk around the park but we were glad to reach a drink stop at Stock Road. Delicious big chunks of watermelon was provided and more water. Boner tried to impress the younger hashers by throwing his peel over the pack and into the bush but he could make the distance and hit Angel in the face. 


The pack continued on but began to stretch out. Eventually runners followed the short cutters home only to find out they had taken the long way in. The first runners staggered in around 6:50 still in 40 degrees heat. As we munched on cheese, crackers and melon we noticed Bushie and Antman walking across the oval heading for a second lap. They had probably drunk too much at the nearest tav and couldn't recognise their fellow hashers. 


The pack was called in to hear the sweet voices of their legendary committee sing their Just One Goat Committee song for the final time. There were a few tears… 


Antman was pulled up for a down down for changing into his hash clothes while hiding from his dog in the garage. It was just too hot for his pampered pooch. Boner and his son 3G got a drink because 3G locked their car keys in the boot after the run and had to call up mum to rescue them. Angel got a drink too for not disposing of his water bottle appropriately on the run and JJJ got one for trying to tell us about the run for a reason event. A few boys got birthday down downs for being born in the year of the monkey and The Sweenz got one too for being incredibly good looking… and poor. 


Dinner was served in the dark but there were many lights to choose from to piss under (just incase some couldn't find their own peckers). We had chicken rolls with lettuce, cucumber, tomato and spinach but No Mayo! A good feed, a good crowd and a good run. A score of 9 for Mumbles and Polecat's efforts. Thanks boys.


See you all at the AGPU,



2400 Celebration Freo Iron Man run


Run: 2400

Run date: 25 January 2016

Hare: Phantom

Co-hare: Sweeney

Australia Day Iron Man was the theme for the Committee’s run. It was a Fremantle run. The Committee ordered good weather and the weatherman obliged except that he should have been told not to make it so humid. True to form, Scumbag immediately started to jeopardise the run by loudly interrupting the proceedings when the run instructions were being announced. Ultimately the boys got going. The run was easy at first because it was down the hill to the middle of Freo. We should have realised that as Phantom and Sweeny were running it, all it would be would be a pub crawl. The first stop was the Norfolk. As it was Australia Day the following day, we were treated to lamingtons as well as jugs of beer. Off again for the second stage. Amazingly even Bushie didn’t stay at the pub. A few more streets, checks and false trails and we got to the Orient. Who should be there but Phantom with dry Weet-Bix to eat. Bloody hopeless!!! He could have at least had Vegemite on them for Australia day. On again and the next (and last watering hole was Clancy’s. Again Phantom was there, but this time he had cold meat pies. Rusty Nuts was complaining that the pies were

cold and the beer was warm whereas the pies should have been hot and the beer cold. Now the problems came. Whatever goes down has to go up. We had run down to the City and consequently we now had to run up the hill home and back to the bucket. Birdman, however, with his superior knowledge of short cuts led Shakin and a group of other Hashers, all  who acted like sheep and followed him, the short way home after they crossed the oval only to be stopped by a 7 foot iron fence. This added another 10 minutes to their run and the honest Hashers could only but watch with glee and sip their beers whilst watching them trying to extricate themselves from their predicament. Overall a good run. Thanks also to Colonel, who alerted us to the Booze Bus at North Freo allegedly arranged by Freo Hash as punishment for invading their area.

Mole scored it 11/10  -praise indeed if you can believe anything he says


2401 CONMAN in the wealthy Belt


Conman’s  Chilli Con Carne run

2401 run no         

Hare  Conman  Co Hare( The co hare when you’ve asked everyone else) Phantom

Date 1/02/16

What a place to start amongst all the multi million dollar mansions of Nedlands/Peppermint Grove, or should I say Phantom’s favourite territory. The run/walk set off in an easterly direction and meandered thru some older houses  past Steve’s pub ( at least it was known as that when I was a boy ) along the river past Neddies Rugby Club, which most probably has more Kiwis playing for them than there are in NZ. From there it went along the river past some magnificent dwellings and some yacht clubs  and then it got worse. Up a very steep hill which I didn’t know was even there and then onto Birdwood Pde ,where some of Perths wealthiest live.,then past Sunset  ( when are the govt going to do something with that site ) and then on thru some more salubrious homes homes  thru to Neddies Golf course  and then on home. I must admit there may have been a bit I missed out ,but as I was at the back of the pack I apologise for perhaps leaving some parts out

Food was Chilli Con Carne and bread made by the local butcher. It actually was quite mild ,most of being catering for Colonels/Budgie/Dick Tracey’s delicate palates.

Next run is Mumbles’ run of the the year in good old downtown Palmyra , don’t miss it


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