Run 2504 Phantom and Sir Knob perform in Hollywood

We go swimming very Monday. Well we did this Monday after gathering at Hollywood Bowling Club near Karakatta cemetery
Before heading out into the rain we were treated to an entertaining reParking of the van by acting tugger-in-chief Budgie. Well done to the driver and a variety of advisers resulting in the van being brought to the very adequate shelter without losing the solar panel on the van roof.
The hares looked like pastry chefs after trying to set a trail in the continuous deluge but it in the end was necessary to employ Action as a live hare as the actual hare, Phantom, had far more pressing matters such as keeping dry.
That way encouraged Phantom pointing to a waist deep puddle and off went the pack.
Despite a torrent of abuse from Phantom, the co-opted walk guide, Stewie, chose discretion over valour and led the walkers in the opposite direction.
The fair weather hashers who stayed at home missed a great run in good territory. Action led the way south then over Smythe Road into a section of bush adjoining karakatta cemetery. Completing the loop around new housing built on the old Hollywood High School site and across Dot Bennet Park then eventually cross the railway bridge to Stubbs Terrace.
A very wide loop took Action and his band of hardy followers into the bush at the rear of Shenton Colleges and back through the tunnel under Shenton Park Station. It was necessary to swim over the pedestrian crossing and into Evans Street, down an alley to Onslow where the first arrow was spotted under a shop awning.
A straight forward route arriving back at the bucket in about 40 minutes to coincide with the walkers.
The circle was well roofed and provided with excellent lighting under the club rooms. A 36 year anniversary down down for Stewie and a second one for birthday No 68. Some people are simply lucky that they do not show their age.
Barcode was a returnee from The Indonesian Woodlark Island (some people get all the good jobs).
Our Religious advisor, Tripple J was enthusiastically received and provided a wet evening with generous helpings of dry humour.
The food was chicken and salad rolls served by a Phantom wearing a suspicious surgical glove. I did notice Phantom had been wearing that all evening and was obviously intended to ensure any germs collected or chicken grease didn’t taint his skin.
Very well done to Phantom and Sir Knob. Good on you both for planning, setting and ensuring a fun evening. But a special thanks to the 30 odd hash men who turned out in very inclement weather to support your efforts, it was well worth it.
On On

2503 COLONEL and The Budge at the Usual Spot

COLONEL and The Budge at the Usual Spot

40 odd Hashers arrived at   Butlers Reserve expecting a re-HASH (good Word ) of  old runs. As it was he covered some NEW Territory but seems to have forgotten that PH3 uses P arrows   – not the bog-standard arrow of yesteryear.

The run itself used what public open space was available, crossed Scarb Beach Rd and wound thru the Mansions of Scarboro.

It was then down down to the beach to view the Topless Chicks (all gone since Harvey Weinstein was outed) and along beach tracks.

Crayfish, Bushie and others lost it here in a lane behind Coles (or was it the Check in the Middle of the road that confused them) but the rest of the Pack found their way to the steep hills around Kay St and the few cunninglingus FTs on Ventnor.

Pack and walkers all arrived back together after 50 mins Well Timed Good Run.

The RA climbed carefully to his Rostrum suffering from Plantar Fasciitis and it bloody hurts -ask Phantom –Budgie –Conman and told his joke about the Village wise Man and awarded the Bell to Q -apparently his Navigator fell asleep on way the way to Hash.

Poor Q gets the Bell or a Down Downs more than Scummy.

Pack took off for food table before RA had finished giving a score

Food was a change being Good Quality Burgers with all the trimmings.

Only Bad marks were for leaving Banner and Pourers behind last week and refusal to do a write up after Gumby put in a big effort He also refused to collect signs after the run –After 30 years he is still the only one convinced it is not his job. Phantom spat the dummy and refused to collect them so here’s hoping Colonel did the job

Good Night Good Run Good Food


ON ON Ghost who limps

Picture from the archives – circa 1972


2018 – posibly after Colonel's run.





2498 Chunda down Unda with Haggis

Chunda & Haggis returned from setting without mud on their shoes. That was good sign.

Interesting territory that us PHact riders frequently visit out our 50Km early (got that FT) Friday morning ride. Until recently the area was flooded. Presumably because of the bridge reconstruction over the weir.

Rhino managed to park straight with all his car in the bay, well done!

The run will be reversed next week – watch this space.

Moses said to Mastitis (as he drove into the car park) have you retired now as you don’t arrive late anymore? The response cannot be printed here due to PG rating.

It was a great run with no snakes sighted. I managed to run most of the trail and FT’d (short-cut) the last few hundred metres.

Neon and I returned to the bucket the chips were out and there were lots to go around – why would that be?

Dicky knee was back – great to see you!

Botak & Neon were given a down-down – maybe for talking? Botak could even knock Budgie off the perch for the talking under water gong.

$ & Neon both didn’t know what went on at the Hash Xmas lunch – one was there and one wasn’t.

Barcode called up Q, FT, Mole, Neon, Chunda, Scummie, Phantom & Mumbles.

Barcode explained that now with Gay marriage legal & once the scientists perfect LGBTIQ++ breeding we could end up with strange offspring- he showed pictures of their future offspring.

Ace explained why run 2500 will be held out of numerical sequence. This is Hash so the committee decided that the runs would be held in this order:-

2498          11th December 2017
2499           18th December 2017
2499.1       24th December 2017
2501           27th December 2017
2502           2nd January 2018
2503           8th January 2018
2404          15th January 2018
2500          22nd January 2018
2505          29th January 2018
2506          5th February 2018
2507          12th February 2018 AGPU

Nanny wears skinny black shorts and Sherlock wears skinny black socks – does that make them an item? Refer rule #1.

Polecat wants to legislate against idiots (not sure why I wrote that down).
Crayfish – quietly pushed to front of food Q so was awarded an infrequent down-down.

Bushie was awarded the bell – I think it was pay back for pouring beer over Nanny a few years ago. He demonstrated how to ring it whilst the Perth Hash song was sung.

Elbows doesn’t pay attention – instead of going to the front of food Q he went to front of down-down Q.

The food was Meatloaf, salad and gourmet roll – yumm!

If you want praise, die. If you want blame, marry.

May you have the hindsight to know where you've been, the foresight to know where you are going, and the insight to know when you have gone too far.


On On

PS We did most of the run!

ARISTOCAT in home territory for a BONC


We have been here before .Like a 20 year marriage  -he knew what to do but could he make it interesting !   In the unfamiliar style of a Freo Supporter  -He did it well .

The runners took off for a large loop which gave the Wanklers time to reach the old traffic bridge and climb thru hidden limestone hills to the Signals Lookout .After a number of FTs the Wanklers emerged by the Army Museum followed by the Runners .

At this point the Runners looped the Swimming pool and then tackeled more limestone bush to emerge just behind the SCB Wanklers .

The Wanklers short cut past Horribly Long park while the runners took the longer Root,all arriving back around 7

So fat Wanklers stuffed from the hillclimb to0k the short Root home abut also got back at 7  .Top effort using some virgin territory and keeping the pack pretty well together.

Back at the Bucket some 50+ drinkers ,including around 8 BONCs , enjoyed the Hash and jokes .The Hills youth  were recognised for Graduation , especially Q (Brain ) young Seagull . FT got the Bell so we may not see or hear it again till 2018

Food was tasty marinated lamb and coleslaw in a bun. WEL DON ARISTO


PS If you don’t want the circle to go on so long then SHUT THE FUCK UP at the back











Run 2495 Rhino and Shakin

Even though I didn’t actually do the run due to a squashed foot, Iam reliably informed that it was a very predictable Rhino run.

In true Burswood or Tomato Lake tradition, there were long stretches between markings – always hard to set a really good run in old suburbs where blocks are big.

However, the leafy streets of Dalkieth and large houses extolling the benefits of capitalism and hard work made for pleasant scenery whist running.


Highlight of the run has to be Phantom’s dummy spit as he directed the runners whilst obscuring a check – now Phantom is normally very calm and collected, so perhaps that could actually be construed as initiative!


Other than that, seems run was uneventful and reasonably well set.


Back at the bucket, it was good that we were beside a plaque letting us know the land belonged to the Noongars – you’ll all be impressed I stopped Nanny’s dog from pissing on it!

Talking about dogs, if you went hungry, Rhino’s inattention allowed one of the local canines to devour a few snaggers.


Car parking & lighting good, tucker average and I think the score was 1.0 [or is that a typo?]


On On Emu


SEAGULL & Q Go Viral in Lesmurdie 2493


Flies, Ants, Snakes, Ticks, Rocks,  Heat, Dust, Shiggy, Hills, Wild animals (and neighbours), Bad manners, Bullshit and Beer….every Hashman’s dream. 


Well the Hillbillies didn’t disappoint tonight. A true celebration of everything basic, unrefined and rough as guts natural. SEAGULL and Q must have been pissing themselves whilst setting this run. The first half of the run was set in what could only be described as a rock quarry, undulating relentlessly over about 4 kms. This of course led to the downfall…litterally… of several  Hashers, having fallen victim to the” ball bearing” strewn, laterite track. Yours truly included…and not happy Jan!! Trying to run on this surface, up and down hills was sheer suicide. Fortunately there was some respite across  to the north side of Lesmurdie Road, where the trail continuedfor another 5 kms through semi suburbia, up and down hills but at least on firm ground. 


Residents unfortunate enough to be living anywhere along the trail were treated to the usual barrage of yelling and screaming etc and in one instance someone amongst  them even suggested that flyers be placed in the mail boxes of all the residents along the trail warning them of an upcoming Hash run in their street…seriously!!!?

Not a bad run all considered and TRIPPLE J awarded it a 9/10


Food was…different! Spicy potato, pumpkin and sausage casserole served with a ladle full of corn kernels and crusty bread. Very “innovative” one would have to say and it went down a treat.


Nice work Hillbillys


On on


Elbows and Haggis in Bull Creek on 16th October 2017.

The first thing to mention is that the co-hare delivered weather of Scottish proportions so that he would feel at home in the storm.  However, the Hare was up to the challenge with the venue and a reasonable pack of about 40 were able to get out of the weather for the circle and food.


Good run location, enough parking, easy to find and a nice touch added with Clive doing doughnuts to show respect to the gathering of Hashmen.  I am not sure that many who vote in the district would be more inclined to vote for him than had he not towed his signboard round in the great weather.


The intrepid hare got some flak for the marks for his walkers’ run, described and understood by engineers as a chevron, but for the rest just an arrow head.  But JJJ, a traditionalist at heart demanded to know why a W, good enough for 50 years of hashing, is not good enough for Elbows.


Visitor Bee Man from Brasil was given a couple of down downs and was very gracious in accepting his future name of Festering Scrotum. This caused Antman to nearly swallow his stubbie, holder and all, when Barcode made the announcement.



To the Run and Food. 


This Hashman ran 7km and that did not include too many false trails, but also no shortcutting.  I thought a very good run, with the trail surviving rather well generally considering the amount or rain.  The map was handed to Boner, as a back-up and whilst he got a downdown for being a confused map reader, the pack kept together pretty well and as Nanny said “you know it is a good run when you find yourself , more than once, running just behind a senior (age and stature) gentleman of Hash.


Elbows managed to find some shaggy, bush, minor creeks, grass and even bitumen to run on and all of this without filling our runners with water.  Pretty good job there Gents.


We were kept from crossing any major roads and only skirted Leach Highway the once.  Two false trails got near Karel Avenue.  So reckoned this was a damn fine run all round.


I thought the tucker was extremely tasty, though the curry residue on the pot bottoms were a mark against the cook.



In true recent form, the run was given a 10, but even in normal marking tradition it was worth all of an 8½.



Well done Elbows and Haggis

Bushy and Co. in Dianella

Perth Hash House Harriers: Buuuuuuushy’s  Run : Dianella 9 October 2017.

Out in the northern extremities of close-in suburbs we gathered in the Dianella open space where our beautiful colleague Scottie last set a run (and sent the pack off in the  wrong direction as a harbinger of worse to  come). Very busy little park it was  too with non-hashers  driving  everywhere –including  one  helpful  lady who suggested we  should  not  be there because it will get “very busy”. So I guess we added a little to that busy-ness with our 50-odd members freezing their bollocks off in the last wintery cold breeze for the year. With Bushy, Crayfish and Sir Knob so idealogically aligned as hare/co-hares what could go wrong?

Off in different directions  went the packs (not a good sign) but it all turned out ok with frequent crossings of each other’s paths through  generally flat territory  marked  by dull 70’s houses,  no visible inhabitants and lots of open drains and small parks (after we  emerged from the open space/bush area). The track appeared very well marked with about 14 FT’s (now there’s a frightening concept) and a couple of long straight tracks. The reported range of complete lengths varied up to 9.5 kms for the run and 5.5km for the walkers.

Both packs came in on cue at just under the hour to be heralded by half a boatload of midgets playing a very high grade of basketball to a very low grade sound-track of rap in the court adjacent to the bucket. Cheese, bickies and olives helped that. 

Into the Circle:

Visitors Beeman (mate of Antman) and already-gone Jack Russell, returnees Pembo, Neon, Mumbles, Fags and Mk 1 were ceremonially greeted (Beeman with his shirt on back to  front: D/D for  Antman). Another D/D  (and the  bell) to Goliath for missing the run site and others I can’t remember and  can’t  read on my notes cos the light was fading despite the adjacent overhead  floodlights strong enough to  give you skin cancer, just to add to the deafness  from the rap music. At least each track might have been different as opposed to our very standard, but below par, refrain.

3G scored a D/D and a pizza suit to recognise his new job and Elbows (Oooh me?) won the whiskey/whisky raffle donated  by Xmas. Thanks Xmas. Polecat got a D/D for something he  probably deserved too.

Our Rrrrr ehh?  Triple J then regaled us with the health benefits of being Scottish (it was a very short regaling too). More  down downs.

Out with the Hares: Bushy in a hat which wouldn’t look out of place in a pair of panties.  The general consensus was an excellent run with 10/10 awarded (makes it hard to mark next week’s run too). Top parking, lighting, trail marking and food of hamburgers. (It must have been good- the basketballers enjoyed it  too. On yer Bushy and co-hares.