Awesome 4 Sum set a joint run with Hamersley, Bullsbrook, West coast and Perth hash.

It was a cold and miserable Monday night, but what else would you rather be doing.

The run start was from the Fleur Freane Reserve Pavilion.

With a late start of 6.15pm, of we headed, but within 10 minutes it started to rain, leaving us all like wet dogs.

There was a Runners and a Walkers trail which was marked with chalk and grey paint, If the rangers question the grey paint, Hamersley did it.

Up to the drink stop, we were handed port and lemonade out of the back of nanny’s car. Nanny did a good job holding up the front runners so that the back runners could catch up.

We set off after the drink stop with the final leg being 15 minutes to home, Luckily, we were rained on again.

Back home we were greeted with soggy crackers and dips, and black and white male anatomy, must have fallen out of hamersley’s bus.

Just proves that hamersley does infact take it….


Tripple J fed us with Pasta with a Bolegnese sauce with plenty of helpings.

Well done Tripple J, Well done Nanny

2480 Crayfish and Bushie – Stumbles run write-up



As usual sets the bar for the rest of us to live up to. Having popped in to see Dragon[my wife] at the Villa Dalmacia aged care home I hurried to Wembley to catch up with boys before the run kicks off, cant believe the amount of development as I headed through Alfred rd. units popping up like mushrooms. A small crowd awaited in the car park, evidently  a lot of boys parked outside the netball courts to check the score!! lead by Horse I was told.


My old mate” Has Been” from Albany was there[Dollars cousin] so I caught up with all the news on what's happening down there, we were both in real estate down there so had lots to chat about. Crayfish is busy cutting loads of cheese up and Colonels dog is very interested he was looking for a bite but unlucky in this instant. Xmas arrives with Horse the Foxy still wants to root everything Inc. my leg., Chatted to FT about Subiaco's crushing win on Sat. Bushy arrives and introduces me a delightful Porter which I had never see before which slipped down a treat. The packs building up and lots  of faces both old and new I started with Perth in 1980 and there is still a lot guys still there Inc. of course Phantom the Old master. Antmans arrives with his dog Pudgy a strange name for a greyhound its wearing more gear than any of the pack dressed by Vinnie's. Budgie chirps up and there's Lasagna making money looking after Antmans fleet of crappy old pommy cars and helping Mark One get to the funeral in time.


By now Horse has torn himself away from the basketball court and is firing up the commercial BBQ a beauty because there is heaps to cook. GM Barcode gets the pack ready [knew him when he was in nappies] we get a briefing and we are off. Pretty soon Xmas , Antmans and I are at the back of the pack held up by Pudgy crapping and pissing at every other telephone pole [ that’s my excuse] but we are on trail, no calling[what’s new]. but we are still there. Xmas knows a short cut to catch the pack so off we go for some reason no further trail was seen. We wed our way through Wembley catch the pub where Antmans son used to be manager. We swing by the Police station  and its home somehow we beat the walkers in by 10 minutes but my tricky left knee is not complaining. Then super fit Emu leads the runners in what a champion followed by the kindergarten.


Bushy hits me with another Porter I have a chat to Gumby[sans hat] and Barcode gets the circle going, a fairly unruly one at that but he preservers'. Top gun is running tours to the swan Valley hope he remembers the ice for the white wines!! Next lunch is at the RAAF  museum and Inc. a tour for those interested. Sebastian's was voted a success cheap and good. Then its RAs turn Triple J without his interpreter talks with a mouthful of marbles but the faithful seem to understand I think he was the Marquis De Sade in an earlier life because he dishes out down downs like M & Ms I cop it as a visitor but how come its Colonials birthday on Wed. no down down and no carton guess he's voting Labor now.


Now its grub time the pack a large one over 40 lines up great hamburgers and salad and cheese fills the hole in my stomach. Bushy forces another Porter on me and feeling complete I decide to head for home its a long drive to Dawesville. Top night and I will endeavour to come to more runs its always a good turn.


On On



Congratulations to Mumbles on 40 years of hashing long may he reign.


As the previous Monday was the 20 year anniversary of Diana's death some may recall it was the same day as Gillies run at his North Fremantle pub.

2480 Crayfish and Bushie

Hares: Crayfish and Bushranger

Location: Matthews Netball Centre

Another fabulous night of Hashing , spoilt only by the threat of a roving RBT (for those of us who don’t have a driver).  The location had it all, cover close at hand, brand new lighting, freshly  bituminised car park, and almost perfect weather I’m yet to work out what the perfect weather is for Hash, but Mumbles certainly knows a perfect wether when he sees one.

A good crowd was there for the start. Obviously the retirees had returned from their summer hols in the Northern Hemisphere and the other retirees were yet to leave for Autumn in Europe. Then of course there is Mole getting more heat by going to Queensland via the desert roads. Good luck.

As you would expect from old hares (I use the word “old” with the utmost respect for their experience) it was well set and clearly marked with loops and sneaky stuff throughout the run.  You knew you were in for a good run when there was a great false trail in the beginning loop, catching nearly all us short-cutters. Well done. Only 5 minutes into the run and Tripple J went arse over, much to the delight of those nearby. There was careful use of territory which kept the pack pretty well together once we crossed Cambridge St for the first time. Then the loops through the new Subiaco were fun. Back through Jolimont and it was all over bar the down downs.

A bonus point should have been awarded for the cheese biscuits and dill pickles. The circle was un-remarkable except for Tripple J admitting he had fallen three times in the last week. No wonder he had to award the bell to himself. Gumby was remarkably quiet during the circle (must have been in an interesting conversation). It was good to meet some of the visitors (there was only one real visitor from Albany) although we need to attract more running visitors.

The gourmet hamburgers were surprisingly good, but it was interesting that few went up for seconds (must have gorged themselves on the entre) and conversation flowed freely until stumps seemed to be called about 8.30.

A good run that deserved a better score, was the feeling of all in the pack except the one that counts. Looking forward to your next run Crayfish and Bushy.




2472 Stewie and 3g annoy Lesmurdie

Run 2472      “A Melody of Roasted Vegetables”

Hares               STEWIE (Grandad) & G3 (Grandson) Date 12/06/17

Lesmurdie is a difficult hills suburb to travel to, just ask Emu & Haggis as they had navigational problems & were late. The bucket made it up the hill easily with a cool easterly blowing into the radiator & half a ration of ice. There were many club members standing under the colour bond patio, giving advice to Rumpole & Stewie on where to park it. Sherlock was complaining about Hillbillies & inbreeding, Mumbles did not understand what inbreeding was. Polecat arrived early, Phantom did not show, both situations most unusual. Dollar was worried about honkey nuts falling on his squashed down red Mazda although the red tailed cockatoos had gone to bed by the start of the run.

Sit Tomarse felt the cold and put his overalls on before starting the walk, Deeply Boring’s dog did not feel the cold as she was on heat and the grey hound was not interested, too much effort involved to sniff. The pack headed out to Grove Rd and left the young ‘Colts’ footballers to do their training in the dropping temperature. I did not see any of the runners, except witnessing The Mole lead the pack across the oval and home in 59 minutes. It must have been a great run, with Seagull & Boner leading a visiting runner in, can we sign him up, as he is younger than the average age & faster.

In the circle Scumbag got tongue tyeded trying to explain why he did not have his birthday carton there and when he is going to bring it. However his visitor Paul, made more sense when talking to him. The Mole brought his birthday carton and donated the ice back to the bucket. Sherlock did a down-down for his eighth anniversary, I wonder if he will ever run out of material found on the net to enhance his record of the PH3 gathering at 6 pm. Keep looking, we all enjoy the little tit bits you add to your photos.

The Hares provided a very healthy winter meal of minced lamb & chicken with rice, supported by a melody of roasted vegetables, to keep the cold wind at bay. Even 3G could take some leftovers to school on Tuesday if he is not taking another sickie. If the run was worth 9, then the food was worth 10. Well done guys & Slops.

ONON            Horse

Run 2471     Seagull’s Flock Up Committee

Run 2471     Seagull's Flock Up Committee

Location: Charles Veryard Reserve, North Perth.

With most of those members allocated runs in June deciding they were unavailable to set them, Barcode and Boner stepped in to prevent a potential flock up.

Selecting a central location with good parking, lights and shelter (albeit shared with a couple of unfortunate homeless guys) we had the makings of a successful evening. I remember this spot as the place that Antman's greyhound was first allowed on the streets without a muzzle then promptly chased a cat down a dark alley.

The council ranger did a swing past but left when he saw we weren't all intending to sleep the night and on the assurance there would be no drinking.
Barcode and Boner set themselves a challenge by laying the trail two days in advance  but fortunately Barcode re-checked on Tuesday afternoon on his incredibly expensive mountain bike, which  incidentally Stewie had to transport back to Lesmurdie after the run.

Too difficult to describe every twist and turn but the pack explored much of North Perth and including a brief crossing over the rail line into Northbridge at Lake St. Very good use of the many night soil lanes in the area although the trail did pass dangerously close to the Hyde Park public dunnies. Something odd about the hares attraction to toilets.

The walking pack, expertly piloted by Phantom kept up a good pace arriving back to the bucket in 55 minutes. Seagull, The Mole and French Tickler beat the pack by some 5 minutes but they weren't clever enough to ditch the Uber far enough away not to be spotted. The pack took 65 minutes and all were very happy with the territory utilised and the quality of trail marking.

A good size circle for a Tuesday evening and boosted by two visitors, Mastitis and Moles American brother from Exmouth Hash.

Returnees comprised the entire Bali trip contingent although by all accounts we were lucky the same number returned as went.
A downhill bike expedition was organised from the rim of the Kintamani volcano down to Ubud.
Chunder lacerated his leg.
Haggis sprained his wrist by dismounting at speed over the handlebars with a double somersault and twist. The landing did however indicate more practice would be useful.
Elbows unusual use of his saddle resulted in a reduction in value of the family jewels.
Crayfish before you organise another event please ensure  cycle training in advance.

Our indomitable Hash Flash, the Sherlock shared a generous eski of Kilkenny to celebrate the birthday that last year he might have doubted he would get to. Good on you mate, we always enjoy the power point presentations and we certainly enjoyed the Kilkenny.

The RA, JJJ went missing so The Grand Master, Seagull stepped into the breach.
Unaccustomed as he is to public speaking, the fact that he can, in private, talk the hind leg off a donkey ensured he kept the circle going until the errant JJJ returned to put something on an otherwise bare table.

The food did eventually turn up and was a novel combination of pizza and hot chips. The American Mole described them as French fries which I found a little extravagant for a pile of deep fried potato. Nevertheless the pizzas were very tasty and plentiful.

Xmas ensured the two people sleeping with their stolen supermarket trollies had a good meal. Xmas should be in line for the Golden Boot award for his warm hearted consideration of two who were looking forward to a cold night.

Congratulations to Barcode and Boner, who demonstrated how to organise a top Hash evening. (They told me to say that.)

On On

Jaapie’s East Freo Fling

Pack of almost 50 athletes and geriatrics assembled under the Stirling Bridge in East Freo to discover the best Jaapie could conjure. Turns out the run was pretty good more so because the walkers had their own trail so the “runners” had the whole surrounding suburbs to get lost in. But we did not. My personal score for the run would be 9/10.

The On-On was a longish affair which tested the pack’s attention span at time. Bon Scott whose portrait is painted high on the abutment wall seemed to enjoy it. The piss was cold (a bonus) and the banter enjoyable. Sweeney (aka Sweetie) copped the bell for being late.

The all-important food was a tasty stew cum curry with rice which came in two spicy choices. Very nice.


On On


2470 Deeply Boring’s Nasty Gorang

The MT Hawthorn library must be sick of the PH3 by now, with the deeply family setting another run from there again. Deeply had lost one member SCB but had stolen his shirt. He found another relative, Not So who was doing a great impersonation of the town drunk, to help set the run. It would have been  great if anyone of these three had bought along more chalk to mark the trail with.

We were directed at the start to look for trail up the road on the right going down. Or down the road on the left going up. This resulted in mass confusion for the dyslexic pack who looked left, right , up and down and still couldn't find the trail.

Asides from these small short cummings, the run was a long success. A very long success! The very official Seagullometer measured us in  at 12.8km. Well for those who did the whole run. I suspect some short cutting from the usual suspects. *Mole FT ETC

A good drink stop of mulled wine was enjoyed and back to the bucket in an hour and 10 for another great circle from Seagulls evergreen committee. The RA got a down down for peeing standing up in the ladies toilet. Boner also got picked on about the Halal slaughter of cattle in Australia as Ms Hanson had found a report that all cattle are  still alive before being slaughtered under Islamic law.

The run was awarded a 7/10. A lucky score as the hares then tried in vain to poison the honsec with their take on nasty gorang.  All other hash members survived. one might presume it had nothing to do with the 12 beers the Hon Sec consumed.

Another great night of hashing



Ramrod and Sir Thom Arse

Run Report 22nd May 2017

Hares:             Ramrod and Sir Thom Arse

Location:        De Lacey Reserver, Maylands

“A crap run”, said Mole, but that’s Mole. Everybody else said it was a terrific run and earned  9.5 on the Richter Scale, although, the usual remarks about too many dogs was again repeated ad nausium. “Fuck the dogs” somebody said, and Ramrod kindly offered his for the rooting (at a Scot’s bargain price) but there were no takers.

The hares were splendid in their rebel regalia, in the form of plastic biddies, and admitted they had nothing on underneath, but nobody challenged them on that, for fear of a frightful sight of Scottish horror worse than massacre of Glenco. The hares maintained they were wearing kilts to celebrate St Andrews, which says something about their mental capacity, down to the day’s date! “Phantom promised us our run on St. Andrew’s Day”, they said, “so St. Andrew’s day it must be, ye ken” – Ghost Who Walks tells no lies!

Reports came in on some of the run’s high moments. Rumpole was vertically challenged but received no down-down for it, just the Bell for the next run; he said he was alright but that’s hard to believe! There were lots of false trails (Seagull got sucked into all of them, and Boner too) but few checks – that seems to be popular these days (except with Boner). Also, no hills – that means it was flat, on the bottom and the top of undulations. (Sorry, I keep using words of more than two syllables – poor hashmen are not knowing, lah!)

It was also reported that slack-arse hares did not mark the trail around the oval (expecting a modicum of intelligence from hashmen, no doubt); and there were no obvious opportunities for short cuts, said Mole.

Pre-circle drinks was the usual scrum with Lasagne shouting for a VB, and was promptly accused of favouring “Virginal Backwash” by the ever lucid and erudite Barefoot. Well it’s better than EB or “Enema Backwash” said Jerry Cans. “How do you spell it?” asked Ace. “I…T” replied Shirlock.

Oh, yes, and while we are discussing Ace and Shirlock, they were accused of having a “cuddle in the car”, “fuck me”, said Mole, “no puffters in the Hash”, not realising his contradiction in termini. Emu complained about the lack of heat, but Dick Tracy was not there to give him any, and Xmas wingged about the Walkers having to direct the Runners.

The Circle was called, and 3G was first up for getting this driver’s licence, after only three attempts, and two wrecks! Mumbles got his usual down-down for the Docker’s trouncing of the Eagles, with his usual fatalistic aplomb. Tripple-J then took the stand as Religious Advisor (Catholic by the way…) and called Stewie up for acting like a juvenile at the Kalamunda “Haggis and Bagpipes” do, with the Perth Metro Band the main attraction (besides Stewie, of course).

Tripple-J reported that Barefoot was see drinking coffee, while scanning the Merabukka Times and was suitably punished. Barefoot was also reported as being one of 300 odd attendees at a “Talk about Sex”, being attracted by the offer of a free lunch, but was then selected by the capaccino psychopathic seminar host for an honest description of his sex life. Barefoot smiled continuously during his grilling, finally admitting that he only had sex with his partner once every year. “So why are you smiling”, asked Tripple-J, to which Barefoot replied “because tonight is the night!” On-on Barefoot!!

Deeply Boring

30 May 2017



2461 Goliath the virgin

The night started off well a good drive from South geralton to atwell, only 40 minutes. You did a good job organising the traffic. On arriving in tell it was thanks to Christmas that we found our way to the ON ON. 


A good roll up of hashers. Short circle. I don't know much about through run but the master runner has done the write up for me thanks FT.


Hi Dollar

My slant on last night’s run.

“a  somewhat confused middle size pack (the on-on directions were incorrect again), gathered at a shopping centre in Atwell in close proximity to the DoRckers new training facility for our first virgin run of the year.

To keep in with the confusion theme, the real hashers were sent in a total misdirection which had the pack sniffing around for the trail for a good 5 minutes. The run kept us east of the freeway heading south, saw-toothing our way down Lyon Road, through new suburbs, around a few ornamental lakes and a nature reserve and eventually back along Gibbs Road to the bucket in 6-6.5km and well ahead of the “Bastard Walkers”, sorry should call the “Rehabilitation Group” misled by a mifted Phantom.

The circle was another lonnnnng affair with DD for birthday boys, a clever avian Ode to Birdman, traditional bullshit from the RA and then usual scramble for the food queue chanting an off-key PH3 anthem.

Dinner was a very tasty curried sausages with boiled rice. A good first up effort from Goliath and Mumbles even though both were technically challenged with one trying to light the BBQ with matches (there is piezo button on the side) and the other stumbling in the dark mixing splash because he did not know how to turn the bucket lights on (there is a switch for that)…” ON ON

Goliath, it was a good night the snags were very moresh. Score 6.5/10 with the food 9/10!


p.s I want the recipe! 



Antman loses the pack

Maybe not the best run of the year (as promised by Antman), but definitely the best run start of the year. A cheeky loop of a sports oval got us back to where we all started from.

However, a track back checkpoint a little later separated the group. I guess all groups thought they had picked the correct course.

From there onwards, there were quite a few too many long straight uphill runs (or maybe because FT was way too fit and found all the false trails well in advance for us). Nonetheless, a great workout.

Just when we thought we were too tired, we had great distraction from a magnificent group of birds squatting over for us while they were doing their personal training. Antman, you get bonus points for planning this.

We were all excited to make it to the end. A hard earned run needed a big cold beer, and the best cold we got was Vic, Victoria Bitter, oh, and ginger beer splash of course.

Great entertainment was followed, and we all had a chuckle about the AGPU 'prick of year' award'.

It was followed by a very yummy hearty meal (chicken, cocunut and rice).


On On