Run 2645.1 – Christmas Eve Breakfast Run @ Matilda Bay

Forty four pitched up for this great annual event, returned to the rotunda after a couple of years round the corner.  A number of members made nice noises and all enjoyed the view and the breakfast set-up.  There were seven visitors in the number and if they spread the word too much, next year numbers could be even bigger.

Grandmother Phantom set a very fine run, well-marked and managed to build in some change to a route that we have plied many times.  Granny was not too happy with Stewie’s leading the walkers in an anti-clockwise direction after receiving clear and written orders to go clockwise.  Stewie has appealed to the Hash Court to be pardoned before the Committee goes out.  If Trump can pardon all, why can’t we?

Out past the squadron and across the lawns before the sun got too hot and then into the leafy shady groves with some delightful running around the Octagon and the lovely admin buildings.  40 minutes of pleasant but not doddling running led by our Italian Stallion and the twice the former’s age Dutch cyclist (on the day) who plugs walls.  Did not clock distance but something approaching 5km is the guess.

A few weeks ago at Mumbles run, two geniuses who were the co-hares got lost and could not get back to the OnOn in time.   As a follow up to that; the first viz. Colonel decided to let his dog attack the ranger quietly driving past the rotunda where we could have been given a very hard time and the second Budgie came to the run, late again and was wearing his wife’s pyjama pants.  Not pretty!  

The usual crew did the honours and everything ran like a Swiss clock (or train if you prefer) Breakfast was a bun with bacon, snagger, tomato and fried egg.  Tasty and hot. Well done boys! To you one and all, the Committee’s wishes that you have a serene festive season and a healthy and happy 2021.

Run 2636 – Scumbag @ Hamer Park

A GLORIOUS EVENING IN MOUNT LAWLEY

A large pack convened at Hamer Park in spite of the instructions and lack of a sign until 5:50 when the pack had assembled.  Folks looking for North from the South were disappointed as it is called Longroyd from Lawley Street.

The horn was blown to get the attendance list done and the pack away and the Hare from Lala land was elsewhere on the planet.  A belligerent arrival and a brisk on-on had us away through the burbs, not crossing Walcott or into ECU, A good start.  Arrows, checks and FTs plentiful.  We use Ps at HHH but not Scummy; he uses arrows.   There were enough of them.

We crossed Alexander Drive, used laneways rather well and came up through the back of Angove. This was good running territory.

Thereafter we crossed back over Fitzgerald and now the smallish pack disintegrated.  At this stage, there were seven of us left. We got across Walcott together and remained on trail until we are asked to turn right at Queens when on Clifton Street. By then Gumby had called enough and Bushy and Moses, thought the extra loop to the East a luxury,

The four who decided to go on must have lost trail and added a stack as Gnocchi had 9.4km and Moses only 7, with Q somewhere in between.

All said a pretty good run; the hamburgers were really terrific after a long spell of Covid suited food and this author would say something over 8 was an appropriate score.

Well done Scummy and Antman.

(Written by Moses).

Run2628- Ringburner @ Swan Hotel Carpark

Run2628- Ringburner @ Swan Hotel Carpark 

The run start, The Swan Hotel Carpark… We all gathered around and were told which way the OnOn was. Off we went and before we knew it we were crossing over Stirling Bridge, heading deep into Fremantle’s loins. Good use of the streets until we hit a 3 way check and were unable to find the OnOn. Down past the Army Museum and back over the old bridge to the bucket. Once we reached the Bucket, after a nice 7.5 km run, we were told that there was to be NO alcohol to be consumed in the carpark as Ringburner had pissed off the owner of the Swan Hotel.  

We had 2 Birthday cartons for Emu and Flasher, lets hope Rumpole counts these correctly and brings them along to next weeks run.
Anniversary’s were Pembo ( 21 ) Rain drops ( 45 ) and Vespa ( 3 ) 

Sherlock and Pembo received the Parking awards, when will pembo learn! 

No Shelter, No beer, but the food was plenty full and all in all was a good run. Although they only scored a 3.5 / 10. 

 OnOn 

Gnocchi. 

Run 2627 – Another Prick in The Wall @ Subiaco

RUN 2627: Who were the hares? Where was the run? Have we run there before? What did we eat? What day of the week was it? What day is it now?

Unfortunately, the H3 song (“we go hashing every Monday…” – thank you Nanny) can only help so much to answer such existential Tuesday morning questions for an ageing H3 membership. Luckily for you lot, I committed to memory some of the key points of interest of Monday night’s run. Another Prick in the Wall (APitW) ably assisted by his pubic hair co-hair, B’man…set a low carbon foot print run of approximately 5 km.

This being my first walking run, an experience in itself, which I’ll return to later, I am relying on hearsay to comment on the running part of the run. By all reports, APitW was trying to reduce his carbon footprint by being extraordinarily efficient in his use of chalk/plasterboard. He is estimated to have used 1 square foot (0.09 m2 for younger members) of plasterboard over 5 km of trail. I can attest to his efficiency…. After the run, I asked the hares if they had any plasterboard leftover for next week’s run. They gave me two small pieces of plasterboard which I think should be enough to mark 200 m of trail. Be prepared for a short run, folks, or another super-efficient low carbon footprint run.

By all accounts, the run was ‘interesting’. It started in a southerly direction, then a westerly direction for about half a km before heading north, north-west, east, south and eventually back to the bucket. Is that a fair summary?

As I mentioned above, this was my first walking run (or run with the walkers). A few weeks earlier I got an infection (no, not that kind) in my foot when at Moore River getting out of my kayak into knee-deep toxic sludge, and so was a hobbler rather than a runner.

The walking group was a surprise for me. They are not dodderers, as many of you runners might think. They kept up a brisk clip of walking and banter for the 5 km, that the walk seemed to be over before it started. I remember snippets of the conversation… plenty of bullshit of course, and discussions of old pub hotels in rural WA and various escapades of our older members.

Walking through a graveyard with a group of ageing hashers was disconcerting, especially when Ace took a tumble and dropped like a sack of loose spuds when he stumbled over a tree root. Hope you are feeling better, Ace. J

The On On at the bucket was good. Plenty of good jokes – wish I could remember them – and down downs for the usual sinners, including Scum Bag, Sir Tom Arse, the RA, Nanny and yours truly (twice).

Bulk pizza was shovelled out to the ravenous mob of hounds. The run got 8.4 points.

Thanks APitW and B’man for a good run.

On On

Ringburner

Run 2626 – Grizzly @ Pop-Eye Lake

Did Grizzly forecast the weather right this time?

The above was the question to answer prior, during and after run 2626 on 10th August.  The weather forecast that I checked during the day showed a brief spell of “no rain” around the 6-7 pm but as we all know a forecast is a forecast and not necessarily correct as experienced during the last few runs. Arriving at the run side near Herdsman Lake that was not quite obvious as there where plenty of dark clouds and the temperature must have been around freezing pint or at least it felt that way due to the wind chill factor. Only a very few runners dared to go in short sleeves. 

Pembo arrived as usual with his 2 dogs. As the parking lot was reasonably full at the time of his arrival he decided that the best parking place was near the bucket. However, in order to get that spot he had to move a tree a few cm to the south, which he tempted to do with his ute but was unsuccessful. He only managed to kiss the tree without obvious damage to tree and ute. For this Pembo received the “parking award” which was hotly contested and narrowly beating the other nominees Reluctant and Polly. Well done.

The pack of around 30+ set off at 6 o’clock (hash time so always late) with a short false trail as a start that served as appetiser for what was to come. Of course, the false trail was a “runners only” event.

For there remainder of the run there were plenty of false trails and several checks keeping the pack together. One of the checks was a 3 way check: left, straight ahead and right. However, there was no straight ahead unless one wished to climb a fence and go through the bush.  This must have cost Grizzly 0.05 points for the run score later set by Goliath at 8.75 (we seem to go for more digits to differ between the various run qualities, so don’t be surprised if a future score comes out as 8.95555).

The run was well set and the front runners arrived home after around 49 min and 6.9555 km. The walkers arrived around the same time.

Now back to the question: Did Grizzly forecast the weather right this time?

The answer to this is “yes” and he must have accurately timed it as well. We all kept dry during the run but immediately thereafter the rain starting pissing down. BoM should give him a bonus for this.    

As usual the ON ON was lively with Pembo taking on the RA role. Some down- downs: PH3 hash dog owners (the Claremont dog owners community that wishes to have the Claremont Oval considered a leash free area and which the Tigers are worried about because the dog s**t they may encounter, should come and join the hash to witness how PH3 dog owners are behaving like “responsible” dog owners), Botek, Pembo, APITW, Reluctant and probably a few others.

All in all a good run.

ON ON

Another Prick in the Wall (ak APITW or Prick)

Run 2625 – Rotator @ Coolibah Park

On another wet night the pack of 31 set off through the streets of Duncraig. Apparently, Grizzly had had enough of running in the rain, so he turned it off.

I’ve heard that he turns lots of things off.

ROTATOR RUINATED

Not even GRIZZLY or MOSES could save ROTATOR’s Virgin Run.

The weather before 6 PM ruined the markings of ROTATOR and SKID so the pack was given a sealed map to guide them. And then of course it rained no more !!!

Thanks to the movement of a cut off low pressure system moving N. True…no lies here.

It was great area to set a run and both walkers and runners arrived back about the same time, although LASAGNA and SON who were late got a little lost as did TRIPLE , our resident back marker .

We retired to ROTATOR’s front yard (God knows what the neighbors (sic) thought ) to beverage ,including red wine -this is becoming a habit – .The area was great if rain came and we were treated to a delicious vegetable soup plus more Reds. A combination that can increase methane the following day.

The circle had it’s usual frivolity and PHANTOM, that consummate COLLINGWOOD supporter was presented with a Collingwood watch. HOWEVER dear ELBOWS you are up for a Massive down Down as is turned out to be a CARLTON watch !

Any Carlton supporters need a new watch

Then to cap it all off SIR KNOB on the mound was tricked into being a likeness of STALIN

Good night, pity about the weather but having a beer and a josh with your mates is what it’s all about

ON ON

Run 2624 – Cans – Christmas in July @ Stratton Community Centre

On a wet night the pack of 40 set off through the streets of Stratton. Not many had run there before, apparently.

Various experts commented on the likelihood of further rain. All were wrong.

The run was to Cans’ usual high standard and the food was excellent, so rather than put it in my words, here are the comments received so far;


Many thanks to the helpers who contribute to the successful run, circle & ONON.

The weather, neighbourhood or Covid-19 could not reduce the enjoyment of the night, better than being at Optus Oval.

OnOn
Horse

Run 2623 – Chunda and Haggis Fraser Park, East Vic Park

Good location, adequate parking, light and shelter (not needed). I don’t recall starting here before  and neither did Elbows ,who has set a few runs in the area but there always seems to be someone who claims we have.

The assembled pack of 40 plus including 12-15 runners set off together towards the north east. A quick series of false trails was a promising start and kept the runners together despite at times having to weave past  the walkers and their  numerous  mutts. This is always a problem for the age disadvantaged runners who are not as fleet of foot as those more youthful.

Good use was made of the lanes and off street access to shops etc with plenty of long false trails (these days one of the few options to effectively keep the pack together). In the initial stages calling was again terrible but did improve as the run progressed. Horns ,where’s Emu, and the bugle have a place but are not an excuse for not calling, as some front runners seem to think. From the culinary pleasure houses of E.V.P. where there must be more cafes restaurants per km than any other food precinct in Perth, we headed south,  still pretty well grouped and stunned by a cameo appearance of Elbows, apparently inspired by the having been told he did  not require a hip replacement.

We hit the bucket a bit on the short side at 45 mins with myself and Barefoot in at 47 mins.. Mind you, when Perth Hash first started , 40 t0 45 mins was the target time. This steadily progressed out to the hour which is now the standard. Q in his summary of the run during the polygon gave it 8.6 though commenting more chalk would have helped. I concur with the chalk but dropped off the 0.6 for relatively short run. Well done Chunda and Haggis.

Now the polygon aka circle is always a challenge for those who  have both memory and hearing problems. Added to this I  only became aware I was doing the write up because Cans was not there. Mind you I should have guessed knowing that the chances of seeing Cans at a run these days are pretty remote.. Hopefully Polly as usual will provide a summary of anniversaries , birthday etc. I seem to recall Haggis put on a carton of non-alcoholic beverage, daring to call itself beer and someone else a carton of Guiness cans. After much publicity it was announced the missing Virgin Run Cup, initially thought to have been pilfered turned buried in the wagon and was ceremoniously awarded to Flasher who attained the privilege by being the only virgin run setter last year. A co-hare was sought for Grizzly who has a virgin run coming up, where-upon Birdie promptly volunteered Phantom to unanimous acclamation . It appears Grizzly was attempting to drive to S.A. but turned away at the border for fear of species contamination. He then apparently headed north..

It was announced that former deceased Hashman, Misty, had a become a grandfather . Poor Misty together with former Hashman , Croaker, were examples of the perils of fun running albeit Croaker survived..

Our illustrious R.A. finished of proceedings by calling out FT for not bringing the bell and promptly awarded it to him again only to be advised FT had thrown it in the bin at the last run. Maybe it’s vale the bell.

Pies and Mash was the food of the night and concluded an enjoyable evening.

OnOn

Pitt