Fortunately for me, my memory is still relatively good and when I observed that hard rock-kicker Action had engaged soft rock-kicker Soft Rock to co-hare the run, I became suspicious as to the REAL reason for this seemingly-obvious liaison. For a small ‘consideration’ my very good mate, Dick Tracy, agreed to do a bit of detective work on the basis of my suspicion.
Dickie’s report, provided after payment of the normal ‘consideration’ charged by the Constabulary, confirmed my suspicion that Action, although absent ‘in the field’ at the time, had heard of Soft Rock’s huge success in setting his virgin run in Mosman Park some time ago. Being determined to have Emu score Action’s run above 9/10 this week, he had bribed Soft Rock to be his Consultant and co-hare.
Action’s objective was subsequently achieved and I believe that Action has told Soft Rock that “the cheque is in the mail”. However, based on the normal performance of Australia Post these days, I suggest that Soft Rock shouldn’t hold his breath whilst waiting for it.
It was, in fact, an excellent run with a pack of about 40 Hashmen – more like 100 when used cups and plates had to be cleaned later – turning up at Millington Reserve which is next to and perilously close to St. Mary’s Anglican Girl’s School. At 1800 hrs. and after minimal instructions from Action, the pack was told to f-off.
About 18 runners took off in the general direction of the Girl’s School, no doubt with hopeful and salacious thoughts in mind, only to be thwarted by the Hares’ anticipation of the average Hashman’s normal evil intent, when so close to some ‘fresh stuff’, when the trail turned to the right into the bush, some steep hills and some interesting geological structures.
A good quantity of false trails and checks kept the pack reasonably well together with a well-set, back-check allowing the stragglers, such as Lasagne and me, to join the pack as it headed up Jeanes Rd. and into the Karrinyup suburbia. More false trails and checks kept the pack fairly well together until, after about 45 minutes of running/walking, we hit the on-home that took us back into the park where Elbeaux was delighted to observe a female, well, most of them anyway, football team training on the oval.
Being a generous man, Action welcomed us with a hors d’oeuvres of cured sausage and bikkies which was just as well since our purveyor of potato crisps, Pitt, had been let down by his supplier, Crayfish, and as Pitt didn’t have sufficient to give all present a packet, he wouldn’t issue any to prevent the occurrence of a lynching in a public place.
With the On-Sec still being AWOL, appeasing Mrs. On-Sec by taking her on a holiday, a cheap one, as told to me, GW2, Phantom to the illiterate, ran the circle – awarding down-downs to:
• Visitors: Connor from Canada
• Returnees – Reluctant, Polecat and Budgie
• Miscreants: Crayfish for no crisps, Elbeaux for clamouring for a DD just to get free beer and also for his part in the recent Western Power, power failure debacle.
• Wilson Parking award – Ramrod ….again.
GW2 told an old but good joke about the chook farmer who kept being provided with what he thought were poofter roosters and then he handing the milk crate over to Emu who, apparently suffering from brain-fade, seemed to forget all about his mates, the Muzzies.
Emu commenced with a promise not to get into the commies in our ranks – and elsewhere – and then being bereft of anything more to say, told us about a conversation between a Yank and an Aussie in a bar resulting in the Aussie informing the loud-mouth yank that the bubblegum he was chewing was made from used and recycled Aussie frangers before awarding the Hares 9.2 for the run to popular acclaim.
The pack then formed the semblance a queue at the food table to enjoy Action’s con carne, gourmet delight – obviously good as it was all eaten with some Hashmen testing the length of their tongues by trying to lick the pot clean. One amazed Hashman commented that “it wasn’t even burnt at the bottom!” The simple reason for that was that the pot belonged to Action.
So ended another Monday evening of Hash frolicking, fun and frivolity.
Well done Action and Soft Rock and thank you to Polly for ordering the booze and driving the Bucket.
On onnnnnnnnn ……… Rumpole