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Hare: The Mole
To paraphrase JJJ’s report outrageously:
We headed north to Whitfords Beach for The Mole’s run no 2609.
After a warm to hot day we were encouraged to bring our bathers for a swim. By the time we assembled the temperature had dropped under the influence of the sea breeze and living was easy so no one availed themselves of the opportunity. Shame. Some of the local ladies looked ok too.
We were joined by Lasagna looking much the worse for wear after his tumble the previous week in the hills.
A smallish crowd of about 35 gathered, buying raffle tickets like crazy in the hope of recovering their annual fees.
An unusually jovial Mole grumbled slightly less than normal as he sent the pack off on what turned out to be approx. 8kms of very close checks and FT’s which kept the pack together really well and was very well commented upon by the pack. The walkers, ably led by NCO Dollar in Colonel Walkers’ absence on sick leave, followed a lot of seemingly identical streets before emerging very close to the bucket after about 45 minutes. Perfect and included a non-alcoholic drink stop. Not sure why but we did get a stern instruction about where to go from there by the Mole. It worked even if no-one listened.
The runners all appeared about 30 seconds after Polecat who had short cut at about 100m from the bucket.
Returnees were Antman, Bushie and Park Ranger. Mole celebrated his 19th Perth hash anniversary with a smile (I think that’s what it was anyway- or maybe gout). Xmas outdid himself with a good joke nobody listened to because his rendition is always more entertaining than the joke itself. Gotta love him don’t you?
Generally a very well regarded run and given 8 out of 10 I think.
Into the dinner of hot chicken, buns and salads which went down so well the left-overs were sea-gulled by Elbows, Horse and Lasagna. Gotta be good then, cos Lasagana and Gnocchi were seen eating it for lunch the next day. Come to think of it: So did I.
Good run, good night and good company. Well done Mole.
Now on to next week’s run of the century.
Stewie and Dave the Pom in Kalamunda
A pack of 40 hashers gathered on a balmy afternoon for a mainly bush run where goats would not dare to tread.
We were about half way up Kalamunda hill so it was a given that we will be scrambling uphill on pea gravel tracks for the next 40 minutes or so…. Dave the Pom had a fall the weekend before just setting the run, so injuries were high on the agenda.
The pack set off uphill, slipping and sliding with near misses from the start. Up, up and more up only too see a hazy view of Perth due to some bushfires down south. As we got to the top of the hill, we had our first casualty in Lasagne who took a tumble.
A bit of bitumen road, many false trails, then back onto the bush tracks to head for the drink stop. The pack got a little lost when they turned into bush only, but they soon found the drink stop at Dave the Pom’s house. Mulled wine was offered and we drank.
Pack got in in about 45 minutes.
Lasagne’s wounds were cleaned up by JerryCan and he promptly went home to get some sympathy from his spouse.
Stewie put on Lamb biryani and rice, which was a bit like Scottie’s Scottish Broth where you had to look for ANY meat in the soup. I think Stewie put in 2 chops and it was a bonus if you got it. Stewie also put on a 70 th Birthday cake to celebrate his milestone.
Next week back to the flat lands at Kallaroo – NO PEA GRAVEL…..
Hare: Mumbles with Co-Hares: Budgie and Crayfish.
Location: Leeming Bowling Club.
A balmy, January evening at the Leeming Bowling Club, on the southern boundary of Melville Glades Golf Club. Three highly experienced and thoroughly reliable PH3 Hares sat awaiting the arrival of the bucket and some 45 hounds. All anticipating an exciting evening of well crafted trail, circle and dinner.
Little did the assembly realize this was the hi-point of the evening as even before the starters pistol we were evicted from the bowling club car park. Sleuthing by Dick Tracey found that once Mumbles name was mentioned to the club president, the gates were immediately locked.
Rarely deterred by such minor irritations, the mob set off at an impressive pace towards Karel Avenue and led by The Mole, newly invigorated after his extensive holiday break but with all others equally exhilarated by the prospect of a long fast run, even Horse was chomping at the bit.
Phantom, with the map grasped in his hand, launched into a sprint but after 50 metres his body gave way and the map was passed to Dick Tracey quicker than an Olympic baton handover.
Trail led the pack to the first falsie, which was in lieu of the standard loop. From then on walkers and runners separated until walkers met a deleted running pack at Peter Ellis Park on Findlay Street. Walkers had not seen trail and these intrepid and “lost” runners had also been suffering the same fate. Anyway after exchanging pleasantries such as “dead man walking” and where the FFF…flip is the trail the groups defined their own routes back to the bucket. (OUTSIDE OF THE BOWLING CLUB CAR PARK).
This evening clearly demonstrated that chalk is not always necessary to set a Hash run.
An entertaining circle conducted by triple J and French Tickler had the pleasure of joining Budgie (73) and Stewie (70) in their birthday celebrations followed by a splendid repast of ham rolls.
The hash gathered at the traditional run site – the car park opposite the Royal Perth Yacht Club. It was well attended by members from various clubs including Hills Hash, South of Perth, Rocky City Hash, West Coast, the Harriettes, Hammersley and small numbers from other clubs. Perth was represented by approximately 20 members. The weather was chilly with a cool wind blowing from the across the river.
Rumpole arrived in the bucket without any assistance of a co-driver. Which could suggest that there may have been some hint of cowardice in face of the enemy by his subordinates? Still Rumpole manfully put on a brave face as he set up the bucket. Moses appeared, supported by the only canine at the event, together with his Finnish mate who took an instant liking for our golden throat rinse.
At 6.30, the tranquillity was suddenly shattered when Screwdriver announced to the world that he and Butless had set three trails so as to cater for various abilities of the aging pack: being runners, a walkers and a stroll to the drink stop trails. So the pack separated into their designated groups and headed off toward the University. Given that Rumpole had handed over the control of the Bucket to your semi illiterate scribe, the description of the run is pure hearsay. According to my informant, the run bore a striking resemblance to previous meanders from this location. A gentle stroll through the hallowed halls of
On their return the pack was assailed by the Hammersley who conducted the Circle with the usual acknowledgments and charges: Virgin Runners, charges for indiscretions of the run, etc.
The Hares were awarded an 8/10 for the run.
The night was closed by all clubs singing their various Hash anthems
All in all it was a good night
The run without the Phantom’s phantom ( mainly Rhino ) who after being asked to be co-hare said yeah , no problem then went to London !!! As far away as he could possibly get !!! The run/walk started with a bang , we got a drink stop at the start of the run/walk instead of halfway thru as is normal .
The run started promisingly from the training ground for athletics with some great bodies , and that was just the blokes , it then meandered ( good word meandered ) thru to a ecological reserve , according to the expert on the ecology , Stewie , who said animals supposedly like these reserves to procreate and after they’ve procreated like to feed .
It then meandered up to Wireless Hill , where according to Skid , no dogs are allowed .
Hash dogs can’t read and then meandered down to The Ramble , THE STREET about 30 years ago , and then finally on home where our esteemed On Sec blessed us and wished us Happy New Year
The food was pizza , again , which was just a tad late , and one watering can later, we all chuffed off.
Iwbdfq (Ed: I failed to be able to interpret this, bit like trying to understand Mumbles at the best of times)
‘I Wouldn’t Be Dead For Quids’
Crayfish & Bushranger at Wembley Sports Centre
We all arrived at the Wembley Sports Centre, ready for a great run. Before the run start we were all offered bottles of water.
As we took off, half way across the park, we saw Nanny trying to teach his dog (MEEKA) how to fertilise the lawn.
We were lead over Selby Street and into the old Shenton Park Quadriplegic Centre, where we were given an automated Warning from a security device. Falling on Deaf ears, with the average age of the pack it was Deaf ears.
Crossing back over the train tracks and over a busy Railway road but being so close to Karrakatta cemetery, Seagull mentioned that if you were hit by a car you could hitch a ride on the bonnet to the cemetery.
Another few more kilometres running through Shenton Park and then on home.
We were greeted with Cheese & Biscuits. Chase the Ace is still alive as Dick Tracey failed to pull the jocker card. For dinner we were served Chicken Schnitzel burgers cooked with love and bare hands by the one and only Chunder.
They were scored 8/10, Great run all in all!
Run Director: Phantom
We arrived to be greeted by a very nervous Phantom, because of his injury was unable to assist in setting the run but was confident he had sufficiently briefed the hares to follow his instructions and set a run which lived up to his high standards. I was privy to the run instructions and there were 4 pages (yes 4) of detailed notes. He was hoping that they would not to be tempted to do their own thing.
We watched the early arrivals and assisted the RA to find nominations for the Wilson Parking Award. Colonel arrived and tried to park in the motor cycle bay but fortunately Twitch was able to re-direct him. Then Nanny and he eventually worked it out and his next attempt into a parking bay saw him nearly wipe out the front bumper of is car – he was declared the winner of this prestigious award.
We were briefed by Botak and then 42 intrepid runners and walkers set off heading towards the streets of Shenton Park. Within a short time, we were heading back to the bucket and for a brief minute I thought that a major stuff up was occurring but then figured that the genius of Phantom had introduced a very clever twist to the run. We then headed off towards the hospital and then into Hampton Road. At this stage, the main pack was well ahead of us backmarkers. We were following Scumbag who was following God knows who turned out not be a hashmen so this was where we lost the pack. All was not lost, we headed off towards Kings Park and missed a good part of the run but were fortunate enough to be briefed by Antman on the problem of South American fire ants which were found in Fremantle recently. We beat the pack home and soon saw the RA leading the pack in with Haggis – yes Haggis – following him. According to the Bushie gadgetry, the run was 6.22km, duration 54 minutes and an average speed of 6.9km.
It took the usual 25 minutes for the circle to begin, down downs for Rotator from Albany as a guest and Gnocchi as a returnee. Action (not sure why) and Stewie for injuring his nose on a sliding door and Grizzly being responsible for the severe hot weather (climate change, temperatures rinsing, coal I wonder?). Then Bushie and Flasher for sending jokes to the On Sec which he had used about a month ago (the beginning of dementia?) and Conman for being the 1st to pay his 2020 fees.
Then the RA’s turn – he received applause when he mentioned that the committee had only 10 weeks to go. He asked for someone to give a report on the Saturday night Pride festivities but no takers, acknowledged Mumbles for raising $185 for the Movember Appeal and Nanny for receiving the parking award. Nanny’s dog was there to celebrate and quite oblivious to the 15 metre dog restriction – but I guess Nanny’s dog can’t read so is unaware of this rule. No bell was awarded – I reckon the bell should have been awarded to the RA for suggesting that Xmas read out a joke.
The hares were awarded 7.5 but I reckon they should have got a bonus point for not using the plates. I thought the venue excellent, the run interesting and enjoyable, beer cold and the pizzas delicious – I am sure no one went home hungry. At the end of the circle, Grizzly showed his astronomy knowledge and pointed out Jupiter, Venus and Saturn in the night sky, all within proximity to each other with the moon close by.
Well done Botak and Birdman. I wouldn’t be dead for quids
On on Crayfish
Hare: Cans Co-Hare: Pitt,
Rising to the challenge, most of us had our cars serviced and fueled-up, and tyres checked for an early departure to that Mecca of the Hills, Darlington, WA. Incidentally, Botak, your scribe, hails from the town of the same name, in the Northeast of England. Apart from the same name, the towns bear no similarity to each other! The Run started close to Darlingtons’ Swimming Pool, We departed almost on time, with a good-sized pack. We were joined by friends and fellow hashers from the West Coast. I think the size of the Pack was pre-determined by the prospect of Can’s reputation for putting on a good meal, with the prospect of a glass of wine, or two. Seriously, we were looking forward to a proper run in good running territory. We were not disappointed, but what would you expect when the Hare and Co-hare have almost 100 years of Hashing experience between them! There were lots of hills and, since it was a warm evening, some of us had our work cut-out negotiating the terrain and the gum nuts. We headed-out East through the “Nan MacMillan Reserve”, then followed a good trail up and down and round and about, to a Drink (water) Stop on Hanzell Road. The water was actually very welcome. Then on again uphill we returned, eventually, and over about 6 km in total, to the On On site near the Swimming Pool. The Circle was called and Triple J and FT officiated. Grizzly and Sir Knob were called as Returnees, both having been away in China at a Pan Asia Hash gathering. Our guests from the West Coast Hash were given a down-down, despite the fact that their beer came at our expense, but then, that’s what friends are for. The food was up to all expectations, with cold meats, cheese, buns and pickled onions. Cans generously provided wine for those who needed it, and a good time was had by all.
Run 2598 – Another Prick in The Wall 11/11/2019
Co=Hares Phantom and Birdman
Location: Hollywood Subiaco Bowling Club (rear parking)
The pack rolled up to a be shunted into parking spots by mine-hare Phantom. Yours truly was early for a change with the best wine bargains this side of Christmas rushing out of the boot. Reluctant brought along aging dog Leila all drugged up and ready to go.
About 40 hashers including a few new faces headed off on the run. On good authority, I’m informed that even Q lost trail and didn’t complete the long run. The wily, experienced hares had it heading up Carrington, to the Highway, over to Kings Park (where most lost the trail), back into the hospital complex, then to Shenton Park and under the Railway…whew!
The walkers had a more leisurely time of it, with numerous short cuts. Sir Tom was saved in the nick of time for ducking into a massage parlor on Broadway by his ?mates, and we were regaled with stories of his early misadventures in these parts in days gone by.
It was very fitting that the run location was on Verdun, the site of an epic WW1 Battle, on Armistice day. FT called for 1 minute’s silence. Antman and Elvis produced a very flat home brewed stout that was stronger than my constitution and the charming Elvis was given an appropriate sendoff back to Brazil. Bankrobber from Malaysia put on a carton of very much appreciated Guinness. Scummy was called up for misplacing his keys last week and various miscreants from Grandad’s hash lunch were called up.
The hares were awarded a score of a measly 5. This was deemed very harsh and unwarranted by many, for a first time hare who had brought in experience help and then laid on a great spread of beef
curry and rice. Well done Prick- in-wall.