RUN 2568

Hares: Trippple J and the Frying Scotsmen

McDonald Park, Whitfords.

Despite the best efforts of the Hare to reduce numbers (and his costs) by invoking the Gods to rain on his parade, 40 intrepid Hashmen arrived between showers at the park, we have been to many times before. Each time I have been there, the run takes a new twist. Always heading in different directions. Just goes to show what you can do from a great location in a hilly, park-strewn, laneway abounding suburb.

Taking off to the sound of the bell ringing (for the first time in months) into a familiar pattern down the path and into the underpass below Marmion Ave, WHAT a false trail on the other side of the tunnel. That’s different. From here on the run only improved. Despite all the harsh words said about the hare, and his poor record from this location, it really did get better and better. Unfortunately, its in-eligible for the run of the year, but a worthy recipient if it was eligible, the rain dampened the experience only marginally as we were mostly only damp by the time we returned to the bucket. Even the dogs had dried out sufficiently to be NON “wet dog smelly” when they were relocated to the vehicles. The use of false trails and the occasional check kept the pack mostly together, even when we did get strung out, we magically came back together at a good long false trail. Despite the rain, the markings were still mostly visible enough for Emu to be able to see them without his glasses on. A good pointer to the quality of the run. The lane-ways at the end of the run, despite us using them each time we come here, always seem different and interesting to negotiate a path through.

The circle was nothing remarkable and all the right people were given down downs, the food was served in a timely manner and all had a good feed. Nothing really exciting food wise, but enough to keep the ribs apart for a while longer. Despite the claim by the On Sec that it would be awarded 10/10, it was the RA who made the politically correct call of not scoring it. Very wise FT! Congratulations to Mastitis for being awarded the highly sought after musical device.

Thanks for your efforts Tripple, a good run for all.

On On


Run 2566- Phantom & Sir Knob at Shenton Park

Morning team in the absence of next weeks hare Colonel & being his co-hare I was informed by our spiritual leader Phantom to do the write up, it went something like this “Budgie you have to do the write up, don’t forget the signs etc etc “as he was getting excited I quietly placed my hand on his shoulder & whispered gently into his ear “”it’s okay Rob I’ll take care of it” then my old birthday mate went to water. The start of the run started with Dickie (tugger no 3) picking me up as Rumpole had reminded me that his yearly performance  evaluation was due, we were concerned he was drinking to much piss whilst performing his duties. After a period of time we observed him & asked for a explanation, his reply “With all the Piss left over to count I figured I best drink as much as I can” what a wonderful team man. The other concern the Dept. of Consumer Affairs had contacted Barcode re a Boot Legging operation in Honey taking place in Perth Hash. Well the run was off at the usual time & organised by the Phantom & his right hand man Sir Knob, the location was brilliant hidden in the back blocks of the old Shenton Park Hospital site, for those south of the river there is a really nice subdivision taking place, the current government realised how valuable the land is & are trying to make up for the huge loss’s from Roe 8 & the recent Albany Wave Park, this was perfect opportunity to raise funds.We spent the first 20/30 minutes thru the Shenton Bushland area which had great trails meandering throughout, plenty of FT’s along the way which kept the pack together. We then crossed the railway line & headed into Shenton Park proper at Aberdare Street, Conman & myself discussed where was the border to shires Shenton Park & Nedlands, in his old smooth way Conman started to express his view, however I had to cut him short as after asking him how long will this take & what is the hourly rate !!!  There were great lanes more Ft’s to keep the packs together, really good area/terrain as we worked our way to the Nicholson Road subway, under that, across Selby street picking up the On Home.It was a excellent run by the two hares, the food was good but not quiet as good as the previous week, I believe some members have requested going to the Knob’s place for dinner (providing the bride/cook is available)
What was interesting about the run was that the runners completed it in 47 minutes (source Bushie) & I know the walkers did it in 50 minutes, how good is that, perhaps with some of the young guns missing, Barcode, Seagull, Boner etc may have contributed but you should thank Q for keeping the runners age down to at least the early 60’s.
GM Triple J handed the boys an 8, perhaps a 9 would be more appropriate, the pressure is now on the Colonel to perform.
My Quote of the week.While I was having coffee in Scarborough during the week the guy at the next table Arthur was a RAAF vet of 30 odd years & appeared to be a character, when asked from another table to quieten down his reply was “I don’t give a shit, I am over 75 & I will tell it how it is” I asked him if he was a Hash Man.
Enjoy Budgie 

Run 2565 Sir Knob and Phantom HARVEY FIELD

A virgin run site with magnificent views on a balmy night ,sounds like the makings of a top night .Enter the dumb pack which set off north to an FT in a patch of bush .FT means check back about 100 metres and find new trail but NO NO the pack decided to spread far and wide until late arrival MASTITIS found it in the obvious spot . It was then across the golf course dodging the Twilight  golfers and down to the beach

No broads –tough  luck but a bevy of beauty awaited on Cottesloe beach where the wily walkers rejoined the pack .

Bushy and Co also rejoined after  a phone call to Phantom asking  “Where the fuckRwe” and being redirected .

 Thru the civic centre and up into the redeveloped old Quarry are where the Chardonnay set have built on tiny blocks ,down to cross the Railway line into the lanes around Napoleon St  (more yummy mummies ) .

This is where Bushy in his usual non-combatant manner suggested to a driver entering the car park WITHOUT SIGNALLING that he was a Penis head or something similar.

Bushy then took off to the refuge of the railway crossing  ,only to be stopped by a train roaring thru  .Fortunately said driver seeing all BUSHY’s  big mates then decided discretion was better than valour and backed off.

Home was only a few lanes away and the thirsty pack arrived back over about a10 minute period .

Good to see the walkers did a fair bit of the run although a couple of runners (Action  hang your head ) failed to cross the  rail line .

At the bucket DICK TRACY pushed his contraband honey and JACK RUSSELL pulled the broken toe trick to avoid setting a run .

Then the food  which was a GORDON BLUE nomination of chicken and veg cooked in a Turkish oven .You have seen Eagles unable to fly after eating road kill –well our boys looked just like that and still left some ,even after takeaways .

Great Night   Well done KNOB

Wouldn’t be dead for QUIDS

Run 2564 – Gumby at Buckland Hill car park

“March hares”, suggested Sherlock as I sought inspiration for a run write up at the beginning of the walk. Did he mean as mad as the European hares in their March breeding season? Was I supposed to develop a runners and walkers theme based on the tortoise and the hare?

With no clear answer from Sherlock we were left to contemplate the splendours of Mosman Park’s public housing as the runners headed uphill on their first false trail. A parked police car promised some drama to entertain the hash but everything was disappointingly quiet.

Winding our way through more salubrious streets we met up with the runners on Stirling Highway. They had crossed the highway, run through a railway station and crossed the highway again, only to find an arrow directing them back across the highway and the railway line towards the beach. It was a long time before we saw some of them again.

Meanwhile, in a stark contrast to its beginnings, the walk took us through green and leafy streets past some of the best mansions in the suburb.

As we toured Buckland Hill Park, Phantom faced a leadership challenge from inside the walkers group which split on the issue of a quick walk home or a search for the promised gin at the drink stop. Phantom had the numbers and the splitters – Stewie, Barcode and Sir Knob – failed to find the gin.

Back at the wagon the circle actually allowed Christmas to finish a joke. Well done Christmas for your persistence in the face of the howling hash mob.

Scribes who had failed to deliver recent run write ups were chastised. Anybody who could claim any Irish blood enjoyed a down down but what was Ramrod doing in that group. Barefoot, Bushie, Rumpole and Pitt arrived back late and shared a drink in consequence

Something happened with Grizzly and there was a confusing down down for a trio who had apparently served 23, 24 and 25 years respectively. I may have been talking to Elbows about the prospects for a Bill Shorten prime ministership at the time.

As the circle dragged on it became clear that a crisis was developing. Where was the food?

In a hospital hand pass FT invited me to assess the merits of the walk at length in front of the hungry pack. As the grumbling mounted I quickly gave it a seven.

And there at last were the roast chickens and the chips in amazingly generous proportions. Future hares take note: 25 chooks is about 12 too many.

Even the gin appeared and very good it was as well.

Thanks Gumby for a great night in interesting territory.

On on

Sir Knob

Run 2559 – AGPU at Kings Meadow Polo Ground

Held on Monday 11 February 2019. The evening began with the pack starting to gather at the Kings Meadow Polo Ground. Rimmer turned up with his face covered with sticking plaster looking like an Egyptian mummy. The run then started. It was a long run and even the walkers got back after 7.00pm. The run went through bushland and through built-up areas. There were, however, several complaints and they were well justified. Many complained that when they got back, they had to spend at least 10 minutes of valuable drinking time having to get the thorns and grass seeds out of their socks. We went through snake country, but unfortunately Kilkenny was not there to enjoy it. There was not much chalk and the run got a little spread out. Fortunately, there were no bushfires in the area. A far more serious problem, however, was that of the A380s that continually flew overhead, their wheels almost clipping our heads. No one could hear themselves think over the roar of their engines and the Hash Horn and the calls of “On On” were drowned out and could not be heard, causing general mayhem and confusion.

Ultimately, everyone got back to the bucket. There was good shelter and good light. Dick Tracy was the “Food Boss” (well at least that’s what the sign hanging round his neck said) and he managed to cook some great steaks and he arranged for some unbelievable prawns to be available for us to eat before the Circle began. Bushie even had a slide show going of photos taken over the past year or so. One downside, however, was that there was no band!

Emu, as Hare, self-analysed his own run and gave it 15 out of 10. A very doubtful score and as a consequence of him bring a stockbroker, one can only wonder what type of prospective valuations he puts on shares that he recommends to his clients!!!

All in all, a great run.


Run 2560 – Conman and Budgie at Trigg Beach

Who ever wanted to get rid of global warming? Even prior to the start, the beachside carpark wasn’t exactly warm with a strong sea breeze chilling the group of supreme athletes.

The eye candy was a good distraction! Well organized boys.

So away we went, under West Coast highway to the east, along some pleasant bush walking trails, up to the oval next to St Mary’s school – we’ve had plenty of runs from this location.

Across the oval and up the hill. Q leaped a metre into the air when he saw a little dugite – where is Kilkenny when you need him?

No wonder he subsequently ran through a ft and got the bell!

Then back into suburbia where a 2-way check held us up for probably 7 minutes.

From there we weaved our way back to the coast, before the hares ran out of chalk and consequently a long run home of a couple of kilometres.

Ideal run time ~ 65 minutes, well set, well marked, plenty falsies and checks.

Followed by tasty mince in large quantity.

Well done. Score: 8.5

On On Emu

Run 2558 – Flasher and Phantom @ Peter Ellis Park Leeming

A large pack gathered at Peter Ellis Park, Leeming in anticipation of the virgin run of the year. It has to be the virgin run of the year even though its only February because there are no virgins (as far as we know) left in the club.

The event got off to a raucous start when the Hare politely addressed us as Ladies and Gentlemen.

Deprived of Phantom’s leadership and with his two erstwhile deputies Dick Tracy and Stewie apparently passed over for possession of the map, the walkers split into two factions. Fortunately the left and the right reunited just-in-time for the cheese, biscuits and olives which preceded the circle.

In the meantime our faction had visited a series of pleasant parks and suburban streets. What the right did is unknown. 

The runners reported lots of chalk and plenty of long false trails. In a sign of a good run the pack returned together at roughly the same time as both factions of the walkers.

Visitors Boxy and Signal Man were given the traditional welcome to country down downs. Antman put on a keg for the circle – but it held only 2.5 l of frothy bitter. Birdman was called up for apparently summoning an ambulance to take him in comfort to the run.

Mark 1 produced the winning raffle ticket and won the right to draw a card. Failing to draw the joker he began a long submission that he deserved the prize anyway. Many members were worried that he would engage Conman to represent him which might have seen the food go cold.

Horse read a joke about a gynaecological exam.

Al’iimu tayir aistirali or Emu as he is known when not in Arabic dress delivered a joke about a 57 photo response to a Dear John letter.

An excellent feed of Penne Bolognese followed

Al’iimu tayir aistirali awarded the hares a well-deserved score of nine.

Thanks Flasher and Phantom for an excellent night.

Sir Knob

Run 2557 – Skid and Elbows @ South of Perth Yacht Club overflow car park

Visitors: Pete who is a mate and work colleague of Seagull at PTA and Kimon invited by Phantom and Bushy. We hope to see them again as members as together they may drop the average age of the group by a few years.

It was a great night for a run starting at the vacant land behind the South of Perth Yacht club at the bottom of the Heathcote Cultural Reserve.  A quiet secluded spot out of sight from the prying eyes of the locals.

Skid and Elbows laid out a good run along a very scenic route of the upmarket Applecross dwellings and then along the river with views of Perth, only to be outdone by some of the dog walkers on the paths.

Bushy decided that running 1.6km was enough and decided to drop in for a drink stop at Kimon’s home only to re-appear at the finish line sometime later.

Birdman was thought to be looking for a new nest as he was seen investigating every property that was for sale but then announced that flying south of the river was not for him.

Dick Tracey won the chance of picking the Joker. He did his best but only managed to pick the Jack of Harts so the jackpot keeps climbing and gives us all another chance to pick the Joker next week.

Action standing in for the absent Emu, scored the run at 7.5 claiming that a few more Ft’s and checks would have scored them higher.

The pies, pasties and chips were very tasty and appeared to be a big hit with the members and although they were very filling, a few gluttons went back for seconds.

PoleCat caused a minor panic when he couldn’t find his car keys and had the remaining mob scouring the area and bins for the keys only to announce sometime later that he found them in his back pocket.

The Mole has been talking to his doctor who confirmed he does, in fact, have a heart but his arteries are in need of serious attention, so he is booked in for the operating table on Thursday for a quadruple bypass. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Anniversaries:  Rhino 28 yrs,  Colonel 35 yrs, Stewie 37 yrs, Sir Tom 44 yrs,  Phantom 47 yrs.

Cheers, Flasher  OnOn