Run 2524 Nanny and Co-hare Jack Russell @ Gwelup Swamp

Run 2524 Nanny and Co-hare Jack Russell @ Gwelup Swamp

Whilst the REAL hares and a modicum of walkers followed the trail one
notable idle member stayed behind ostensibly to guard the grog–he did a
good job.
About 40 runners turned out for a short run which had the early returnees
completing the course in 70 minutes. As this scribe did not venture on to
the course he is not qualified to comment on it. However, notable that venue
(start and finish with good lighting, cover-no rain and a dry pack). Mumbles
again took a tumble (Note the poetic phrase,) and managed to clean out the
first aid kit whilst tending his wounds ( just a few superficial grazes on
the BACK of his hands-work that out!!)
So into the tucker—pseudo Italian. Well it had pasta,and the pack cleaned
it out, so the majority enjoyed it. BUT Nigela Lawson was not there-pity.
Next week's snack will be cassoulet . Yes,I know that you have had it
before,but how many knew how to spell it-cassoulet that is.
Scribe 2524
Alias Mk1

Run 2522 – Shakin’ at Maylands Golf Course

Our first really chilly night running this year and fortuitously Shakin organized the rain to hold off.

Plenty of car parking and lights that worked opposite Maylands golf club.

Shakin, ably assisted by Polecat and a youthful Mitch from the relative pool, set a pretty good run. Well marked, adequate checks and falsies.

We began in the newer section of the suburb and wended our way anti-clockwise towards Guildford road at which point, the pack split at the recreation centre, never to be rejoined.

Triple and Scummy, being visionally challenged,  found it quite difficult as they were both saving the batteries in their torches.

There were 3 or 4 very long stretches which is the dilemma faced when setting runs in older suburbs.

Good length if you did the full run 60-70 minutes

Back at the bucket, a good circle, good tucker and even the luxury of a fire in Shakin’s designer bbq.

Thanks for your effort  Shakin.

Run 2518 – Triple J @ MacDonald Park, Padbury

Run 2518 – Triple J @ MacDonald Park, Padbury

The run started from Macdonald Park in Padbury. A location the we have been many times before. Off we headed at 6pm where we were greeted with our first false trail……..  and this is where everything turned to shit. We finally found some P’s after running around in circles for 10 minutes. The run headed out towards whitfords ave, this was as far a I got. We couldn’t ( we being FT and I ) find trail from there, so we had a nice run back down whitfords ave, running past Tripple J’s house where we could smell the Bunnings Sausages being cooked up! And back on home down marmion ave.

Arriving back at the bucket, I heard some rumours of Tripple J going to win the Dunny seat award this year, but lets not get too carried away.

I personally covered 8.3kms, so if I was to find the chalk and complete the whole run, I would imagine it would have been around the 12km mark! The poor walkers were out there for 1 hour and 15 mins! Poor blokes!

Q and 3G turned 18, Rumpole, Gumbi and Botak  had birthdays aswell, although a lot older than 18. We had 1 visitor – Putrid, and Gumbi and Christmas were our returnees. Gnocchi (me) was called up for my second 10 year anniversary Mug.

Emu got Tripple J up to talk about the run, which apparently took him 2 hours to set. Tripple J was disappointed we didn’t get to see the topless lady he had organised behind the Craigie leasure centre! But apparently his next 50 run starts will be from the same location until he gets it right.

His score was 4 for the run, plus 1 for the light and plus 1 for the girl walking her dog on the run! So that gave him a grand total of 6 /10.

We were served with Gourmet Bunnings sausages which have left me 5 times over. Oh, and horse was upset there were no greens!

Good job Tripple J!!



Run 2517 – Anzac Joint Run hosted by Bullsbrook at Garvey Park

Run 2517 – Anzac Joint Run hosted by Bullsbrook at Garvey Park, with Perth, Hamersley, Fremantle, West Coast and assorted others.

Hashmen of Perth amassed with all their assorted buckets at Garvey Park for this Anzac Run hosted by Bullsbrook. The weather was cool but still, so ideal conditions, another perfect night for Hashing.

Proceedings commenced just before 6:15 with some traditional Anzac words to commemorate those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for their country, with many Hashmen wearing their best Anzac t-shirts, various military regalia and a few medals in the mob.

The pack of over 100 runners and walkers set off at a good pace through Garvey Park along the River, then the runners took a couple of right-handers onto Great Eastern Highway back towards the airport. From this point I have no idea where the walkers went. The runners quickly spread out along the long straight runs, as the global chalk shortage became apparent, with the total number of checks and false trails countable on one hand. The pack found enough arrows to be taken on a tour of the airport extremities along Fauntleroy Avenue, Dunreath Drive and the now-blocked-off Brearley Drive. The front runners were cracking along at quite pace as we crossed Great Eastern Highway again, where I deliberately slowed down to allow young BONER to catch up to give him some confidence in his upcoming double-stage of the Margaret River Ultra Marathon in s couple of weeks time.

We swung back into Garvey Park and finished on the out trail after a short, sharp 5.5km run, where we were welcomed with cheese and crackers to accompany the Splash, courtesy of the wonderful Hound Dog committee. Miraculously, the walkers appeared from a different direction, but arrived safe and sound without losing anyone, not even Phantom.

The circle was led by some interesting Bullsbrook characters, where charges were heard. BONER was made to sit on ice "probably" for talking in the circle. Our very own Hash Flash SHERLOCK upset proceedings when he was charged having a bigger one than the Bullsbrook Hash Flash (I’m taking about photographic appendage around his neck). When he was instructed to sit on ice for this crime he stood in the circle, raised his middle finger as a sign of his respect of the authority therein, and told them all to “Get fucked”. This prompted much jeering amongst the pack, whereby one of RUMPOLE's Hamersley mates offered to sit on the ice on SHERLOCK's behalf. TAMPAX, a Bullsbrook hare, was given a down-down for losing his car keys while setting the run, which were never found and resulted in the RAC towing him, and his car, home. BUDGIE was called up for his antisocial parking of the bucket, and his Perth mates offered to transfer him to Hamersley, but this generous offer was refused. So we've still got him.

Some raucous singing of Hash Club songs finished the circle, including a solo performance by the only member of Fremantle Hash to be present. After which Perth Hashmen chowed down on some delicious pasta which your GM ACTION had cooked up earlier in the day. It was so good that leftovers were taken by Antman and Horse for their dogs/chooks or maybe for breakfast the next morning. But it was a good crowd, good weather, runners ran and walkers walked. What more could you want from a night of Hashing?

Well, maybe a bit more chalk . . .

Run 2516 ANTMAN at Joondalup Arena

I was looking forward to this run after weeks of listening to Antman bang on about how good it was going to be, we have had to endure every detail as we car pool to Hash every week, mind you it makes a change to listening to him and the Mole chat incessantly about trains or train sets (yes toy trains)and yes I know they are grown men. I actually prefer trainset chatter over Antmans description of one of his thousands of beer bottle labels as I usually fall asleep then wake up at the ONON with a stiff neck.
So to the run, my night started with an unexpected passenger in mister Tracy’s car, Budgie was sitting in the front seat (where I usually sit) I wasn’t told why he was there I am assuming his normal lift has got fed up listening to him and hand balled him to us.
We then picked up the Mole and we were on our way, not to far tho as the discussion turned to which way to go, so after some excellent instructions from the Mole we were off, I did notice the mole didn’t hear mister Tracy say he knew the way as he was a West Perth supporter and went to Arena Joondalup every other week, the Mole is helpful like that always telling people where to go I don’t understand why some people find it annoying.
Budgie kept us entertained with tales of the bucket, wow what a great job the tuggers do and what fun they have doing it, it seems like a lot of fun driving all over the country side with The dog and the colonel, and at the end of the night they get to pack all the gear away count all the bottles budgie said it has something to do with keeping Alzheimer’s at bay by keeping the mind active, they even have a bloody song something about green bottles and a wall sounds like they have a laugh.
Before we knew it we were in Joondalup and the Mole and Dick were trying to decide where to park, it’s almost like they are married.
So we run out of the car park to a false trail at the back of the Arena, sadly it one of the few falsies we would see. It was very thoughtful of the hares to have us run around the Arena amongst all the young fit bodies playing soccer and rugby just a gentle reminder to us of our former selves.
It’s hard to say where we ran as sadly most of Joondalup looks the same, for me I crossed the main road through the city centre then got myself involved in a conversation with Birdman about birds of all things, then I found myself with a tough decision do I stay with the walkers or do I go down the footpath into the darkness with the pack getting farther away, I go after the pack and end up in the middle of a field with my torch running low on batteries I headed for the light found the main road again followed the out trail back to the bucket where a nice cold beer was waiting, thanks again to the tugger.
The pack arrived home to a sigh of relief from the hares, then the walkers made it back and another Perth Hash run was completed.
The circle was called and Horse jumps on the box and we are off, visitors were called up and given a drink, Horse told the story of his son Brumby being born on the day Emu ran his first Hash run or maybe the other way around, Elbows was given a down down for another imaginary sexual experience, Stewie was thanked for his efforts raising money for the 50th birthday celebration, well done Stewie.
The RA moved onto the box and we waited to see which way he would go would he be PC or non PC, I think the latter as he can’t help himself, we were shown a photo of someone’s wife wearing a burka and I’m sure I have seen her before I would need to have a closer look but I’m sure I’ve seen her face before, we needed to get going as the food was ready and the hares were pissed, Batak was called up and retrospectively given a down down for last weeks run not having enough false trails and to much Pizza, or was it the other way around.
The hares were called Antman and Scumbag what a combination, there was a bit of banter about the lack of false trails and parts of the run being to long, for me it was just the right length even if I only did half.
The food was Antmans creation from Brazil and with the assistance of Scumbag it was dished out and there was plenty for everyone, my opinion it was very good and very hot. All good as far as I’m concerned.

Well done to the Hares and good on you Antman for trying out some new territory 10 out of 10 for me.

All in all a good nights Hashing was had and my thoughts turned to the journey home and how it would go with the mix of personalities, I soon found out as we got in the car mister Tracy turned to the Mole and said Mole I know the fucking way home so sit down and shut up.
Thank you for reading this and remember those of you who think this is a load of shit, it probably is.


Triple J

Run 2515 – Botak @ Empire Avenue Reserve

Monday the ninth of April – a night to remember! Botak, and his ex-Vanuatu Hash mate Dick Cargo, set us a run in the hilliest, most mountainous of Perth suburbs (unless you include where the hillbillies come from). Wembley Downs, noted for housing some of those athletes who came to the Commonwealth games when they were held in Perth, provided an excellent venue for demonstrating our athletic prowess. After welcoming a few returnees and visitors, and also the West Coast Hash boys who were running with us, we set off through the leafy streets of this serene suburb. Many of us, myself included, were completely spent by the top of the first hill. No sympathy from Botak though. Five kilometers into the run the trail was still heading outwards. Eventually the end appeared, but only after I had run (well, partly run)  7.6 kilometers.

The bucket was more convivial than usual, possibly due to the high number of returnees, including Tank and Fingers, and the presence of our younger brethren from the other Hash. Bushranger treated us to a tour of his new BMW  X5, which had every gizmo conceivable. The car was so pristine and shiny that I am surprised that Bushy allows it out on the streets, especially on a Hash night. Birthday boys were Shaken, who brought along a carton of Elsie beer (I once had an Aunty called Elsie) and JJJ who did not bring along a carton as he found the instructions for providing it to be too complicated. Scumbag treated us to some entertainment by smashing a glass bottle on the ground in front of the wagon, and a collective down-down was laid on for all the runners of English origin. Quite a number, except for the notable absence of Scummy who was too embarrassed to appear in front of the gathering – always was a shy, retiring fellow was Scummy.

The run was very well received and was followed by some generously topped pizzas – not the thin cardboard type with a smear  of tomato paste across the top. Well done Botak – we look forward to your next run



Run 2514 Pembo’s (9th) Easter Tuesday Laksa Run

It was a warm balmy evening when the pack assembled in anticipation of Pembo’s annual Easter Tuesday Run, to be followed by the Laksa meal at his chosen eatery.

Horse called us to order at precisely 6.00 pm, then encouraged Pembo to tell us what was in store. No one believed him when he said that the walkers’ trail was marked with Hi Vi paint, but it was subsequently found to be so. Astonishing, when an earlier paint-marked run by Pembo, some time ago, sparked something akin to the current debate over Messrs. Smith, Warner and Bancroft!

The runners ran, the walkers shuffled, the dogs did what dogs do, and we advanced into Pembo country. Then followed a welcome diversion into Pembo’s back yard, for a mid-run drinks stop – more than kind, and much appreciated.

Then we hurried-on into the ever darkening evening, before returning to The Beer Truck just before 07.00. Emu was firm but discrete, Horse was avuncular. The down-downees were accepting of their fate and, soon, we hurried into the eatery for the promised Laksa, preceded by spring rolls, washed down by the darkest Shiraz it has ever been your reporter’s pleasure to sample.

Afficianados of Asian food declared the Laksa excellent, and required the chef and his staff to acknowledge our appreciation of the food, with their down-downs. There were some who darkly muttered that they would have preferred sausage, but not me, Botak, your white Singaporean.

It was a great evening, appreciated by all. I hope that my Wembley Downs adventure next week will be as good, although the pizza that I will be serving-up will be a faint shadow of the quality and quantity of the Laksa.



Run 2512 – The Mole and Dick Tracy @ Kallaroo

The weather was good and torches were not yet needed. Twenty-one runners set out (and came back!) and the walkers looked to be a similar number. With the runners were two hounds; a very small one with Moses and there was 'Meeka' a dingo type from Meekatharra? showing Nanny how to run!

We found the trail prominently marked including many FTs and although somewhat confusing (especially when our own 'FT' often ran back through us) it all seemed to keep us together. This was comforting for our tailenders Triple J., Emu, Action, 3G (back from Spain; might run The Bulls another time) Ringburner, Pitt, Haggis, and Barefoot of course who heard from Ringburner that his cousin ? Henderson played rugby for Ireland in the victory over England the previous Saturday! And on St. Patrick's day! Efforts are being made to see this — Ringburner hasn't seen it himself yet!

We didn't see the walkers until 7 pm when we arrived together at the bucket! Brilliant! Of course they had been tasting beer (at Whitford's Brewery?) as evidenced by Vimeo (between bouncing boobs). The Hare told me he measured the entire run at about 7.5 km? and including all false trails at 12 km.

At The Bucket Religious Adviser Emu kept us amused with solemn stories plus an amusing one about a dog named "Sex".

We had a hot soup richly supplied with potatoes and including onion, meat, and a nice, sticky gravy sauce (I found it hard to clean off the bowls) and I guessed it was 'goulash'.

The Hares were complimented on their run, weather, light and scored 8.5/10.

 BAREFOOT, runner and scribe.


Run 2511 Barcode with Boner @ Hedley Jorgensen Park

The baying hash hounds assembled in the hills just west of Kalgoorlie on a hot autumn evening in frantic anticipation of catching and devouring the infamous Hillbilly Hares. Although the hounds had travelled a great distance for this event there was no delays to start this event.

The horn sounded, the baying increased and into the hot Parrot Bush scrub they ventured, impeded only by the clever laying of small orange ball bearing like stones by the Hillbilly Hares. Uphill, down dale, some strange black top surface and more ball bearings.

The hounds were treated to a well-earned, although short drink stop to continue the chase. After 55 minutes of chasing the Hillbilly Hares they returned emptyhanded. More welcoming drinks were offered.

The gathering was addressed, redressed and undressed, the hares were awarded a score of 9.

The hounds then fed on some unusual but tasty game meat served with corn a potato salad. Some more drinks and the hounds slowly found their way back to their home kennels.

2496 Emu and the old Piggery

RUN 2496            Emu & Thommo – South Coogee

Well this was by far the best run held on Entrance Rd, South Coogee this year. No question, it should win the “South Coogee Run of the Year” award.

As usual you are never too sure how many will turn up when a run is set below the Fremantle traffic bridge plimsoll line but on this occasion forty or so hashmen turned up for a run in an area that would be unfamiliar to most. We set off heading south for a small loop before crossing Hamilton Rd heading towards the local mosque, which just happened to be the former Watsonia cochon small goods processing plant, to the sound of the call to afternoon prayers. Being well-known happy clappers who holds godlike qualities close to their hearts we had to stop Crayfish and Bushy from staying to long on the prayer mat and so we continued in a close knit pack for some way towards the east.

The run moved in good territory with well set FT’s and checks to give all the old bastards a chance to at least stay within cooee of FT and Seagull. A note to remember – if you are too far behind just follow the Molster as he always has an incredible ability to reduce the yards to find the front of the pack. This is called “Short Cutting” and it should not be considered a sin to be such an accomplished master at the art as it takes many years to perfect this quality and Rumpole isn’t necessarily the best teacher.

We continued on throughout the newer parts of South Coogee but always to the east which was where most of the interesting area is. Most Freo people understand this magnetic eastern effect as there is this tremendous and powerful draw towards Cockburn the home of the mighty Freo Dockers. I digress even if it is recognized that this fantastic club has picked up a list of the best young players ever – just ask Colonel who apparently talked up the list on his walk with the vigorous but perambulating Mumbles and company.

The runners almost caught up with the walkers near the railway track where we got side tracked by Gnocchi with the pack, a little strung out now,  heading away from home again. Q and Debbie didn’t let us down and finally we started heading back and under the bridge to home. All in all a good run was enjoyed.

Back at the bucket we all had the opportunity of downing one of Jaapies birthday beers and Seagull took over the circle in the absence of our cerebral but deadly On Sec Bark Hode. All the formalities were discharged with a welcome to an old member Thommo and another welcome to that pommie guy?? who has had a number of runs with us already –  then on to Tripple J who gave us the benefit of his weekly diatribe – he does put in a lot of effort for the small amount of time he is on the crate.

Hash food was well prepared galettes de viandes with salade and a delightful range of salsas.

Top night enjoyed by all.

Polecat(also known as Aristo)