Run 2541​​​ Ringburner and Polecat @ Bicton Baths

Run 2541​​​Ringburner @ Bicton Baths

The parking area was chockers when I arrived and I thought this is going to be interesting – fortunately the water polo classes soon finished and the area was cleared. Just as well as hashmen are not known for their patience and ability to adapt to abnormal disruptions. The usual early arrivals grouped to discuss items of importance, the trade period, advertising on the Opera House , Kavanagh and his problem of being guilty until proven innocent and so on.

And then Skid arrived and to our shock and horror, he arrived with a birthday carton and did not go through the birthday carton protocol. How does this happen? He was berated in no uncertain terms and was told that this indiscretion would be reported to Rumpole. As Rhino had also supplied a carton, Skid took it home and will try and sneak it through the system next week.

It was a fairly typical run from this area, a loop around the yacht club then back towards the bucket and then off along the foreshore towards Point Walter. The dog owners provided the discussion points and which were referred to later in the circle, Nanny’s dog having a dump which he chose to ignore and then being scared by a concrete parrot (it could have been the other way around) and Colonel’s and Moses’s dogs not being allowed in the confines of Point Walter – they must think that public servants work beyond 5pm to police these rules! Then through the suburbs and back to the bucket. The run was well marked and was a good choice of territory. And the runners came in before the walkers.

Horse was missing so Emu performed the On Sec and RA duties and to our delight, he promised a quick circle. After a welcome to site, he called up returnees and there were 7 of them – all genuine returnees and not ones who had missed only a week (this usually happens when the On Sec is running short of material) – Skid adapting to retirement, Birdman back from overseas hash duties, Colonel trekking in Bosnia, Rimmer and Triple J visiting their spiritual home Scotland and Sherlock on a working tour in the middle east. And Boner who was caught out exaggerating on the size of a fish he caught in the North West.

Sherlock gave a quick report on his trip, finding Aladdin’slamp, catching up with Genghis Khan and receiving a gift which he passed on to Emu. It goes to show that Emu’s love of people from this area does not go unnoticed. Phantom reported on the hash lunch with particular reference to the eating prowess of certain hashmen – in particularly Haggis who was able to put away 2 full plates – not bad for someone his size. Polly did the “Chase the Joker’ – FT drew the card but not the joker, Barcode still hasn’t flogged the Mercedes.

The RA gave a run critique and noted that the run was marked on Sunday then had to be had to be remarked due to rain. Of interest was that it didn’t rain as confirmed by our resident weather forecaster Grizzly. He complimented the hare on picking up pizzas on his Vespa and rewarded him with a well-deserved score of 8.5 for the 6.5km run.


I would like to offer my thanks to Ringburner for his food selection, I had no plates or saucepans to wash and only had to worry about the 2 watering cans – how good is that?


Again, an enjoyable night and thanks to Ringburner and Polecat for a top night.


On on Crayfish

Run 2538 Neon and Mastitis @ Kent St Weir

I’ve always ignored run write-ups on the basis that a) its old news b) only sad souls read them, but I guess as I’m hash cash, I should do the right thing.

The Bullsbrook mob joined us in a potentially rather soggy Riverside Park, but nature was kind over this dry week and only a few leaks seeped into my runners. Have no idea where we went, but nice little bridge over river, then into the bush, only to re-enter at said bridge 45 minutes later. The runners came in awash with sweat after 70 minutes lamenting the lack of false trails.

Horse had Bulllsbrook’s Tampax up for a down-down for an unruly dog then rambled on about the Mother Hash 80th year (apparently  Barefoot was a hit as he was born on same years the hash !), apologised to Polecat for his poor maths (40 years, not 30 in hash) and Emu told a great joke involving $200 in coins with Budgie as the main actor. The Bullsbrook boys finished with their boisterous song.

Neon and Mastitis excelled with a Curry (made by Neon’s 81` year old mother !!), with Ice-cream and two-fruits to finish and were awarded a well-deserved 8.    




Run 2536 Scumbag and Antman @ Yokine Reserve

On a particularly dry night (despite the weather expectations) a small group of runners set out from the bucket before losing the trail immediately. Fortunately, it was picked up again and the pack continued on the trail despite their brief lack of direction. The run was well set with plenty of false trails and checks to keep the pack together with the only gripe it needing a bit more chalk. Roughly 50 minutes and 7km later (Unless you’re a SCB) the pack arrived back at the bucket in time for chips and splash.

During the circle, down downs went to returnees Shakin, Pitt, Goliath, Mastitis and Conman as well as Polly for his 3-wheeled journey down south and Birdman for his hole-in-one. The bell went to Goliath for jumping the fence into the bowling club

For dinner, the Hares had cooked up a Hash classic of burgers with a welcome addition of bacon and onions that certainly went down well.

On On




Run 2535 Scottish Ensemble Ramrod / Haggis / Hon. Scott Scummy

We started with a customary loop and off  GAYLANDS . Some FTs were used but a few early would have slowed the Swifties although a couple of well place FT finally did that . THEN we crossed busy Guildford road and a head count was needed to ensure no one was a casualty .  Thru side streets and over Garrett Rd to a series of lanes near Bayswater subway and the back to the Railway .

The Walkers (some ) crossed under the Railway for a brief contact with the pack and then followed the West side of the line to Meltham station .A small group of Rebel Walkers stayed on the East of the line to short cut home under guidance of FAGS who lead them the LONG way

OH yes the Drain . When the pack reached the drain they avoided the obvious crossing to avoid wet feet and as a result entered the GREAT SANDY DESERT which seemed to go on forever –some option!!

Finally another disaster ridden crossing of Guildford Rd and the Walkers were home in 1 hour and Runners about 1:10

There was panic from MUMBLES  as the  RA called in sick and there appeared to be no chips  .SIR KNOB to the rescue with chips and RA duties which included (eat your heart out EMU )a Welcome to Country and a personal message from the local muslim IMAN )

HAGGIS got the bell for setting the run ,and then running the run to keep pack together  Looked a great run which good have been even better with a few more FTs to keep the pack less strung out .

MULIGATAWNY soup followed and finally because of the small pack BUDGIE and DICK insisted on take aways to reduce bottle counting

Great night

Wouldnt be dead for QUIDS







Run 2534 – French Tickler and Dollar

RUN 2534 20 August 2018


Timberlane Park Community Centre, Woodvale

Hares:  French Tickler & Dollar

Under a threatening sky a pack (about 35 – 40) gathered in a good location.  The hares optimistically decided to dispense with the shelter and set up in the open.  A certain golden retriever demonstrated a new meaning for the term “dog wash” involving a vehicle and proved he could out pee anyone in hash.

The runners set off into the gathering gloom whilst a recovered Phantom led the walkers across the park and into some bush.  Unfortunately he had some difficulty reading the map and spent some time to and froing.  He was concerned that the pack had lost the trail (which seemed to be well marked the bits we saw) and considered retreating to the bucket in case the runners drank all the beer & ate the chips.  However in the nick of time the runners arrived out of the dark from a walkway, said “where the fuck are we” and then continued on their merry way.  Phantom then retreated with the walkers and led them back to the bucket by a circuitous route arriving just before the front runners who had short cut some of the run.  The trail did appear to be well marked but had given the runners some problems.

Down Downs were held (amongst others – blame my senile dementia) SCB – returnee, Emu – birthday, Jack Russel – anniversary

Dockers supporters for Fremantle setting a record no one else would want  and the wrong dogs got blamed for the dog wash.

Food was plentiful – an excellent spicey sausage, beans and potato stew with brinjal pickle.

Showers eventually dispersed the pack and Emu awarded it a well deserved 9.

On On


Run 2533 – Jaapie at East Fremantle

Instead of his usual On On under the Fremantle traffic bridge, Jaapie decided to have us assemble at the lacrosse ground down river but on top of the hill where there was little to no cover from a biting westerly which near froze out the pack. Nice views from there though…

The run was cleverly set with many falsies which kept the pack tight (thankfully so we could keep warm) and a lot of hills. The return to the On On was sudden and much appreciated except for One Prick in the Wall who decided to dive into the carpark. That cost him a down-down and some skin also but he'll live.

The circle was called and Colonel coped a well deserved down-down for submitting his first letter to the West suggesting Ross Lyon should be sacked for some unclear reason. Also collecting down-downs were Chunda who entertained us with his recollections of the Kalgoorlie Boulder HHH weekend and JJJ for going back to Scotland to sort out Brexit. Returnees included Deeply Boring, Wagon, Jack Russell & Dick Tracy and Polecat finally supplied his birthday beers. As luck would have it the cold wind dropped when the RA ran out of imagination and in time for hot Goulash soup. On on. FT

Run 2531 Reluctant with Phantom and Sir Knob

Reluctant strategically asked Phantom and Sir Knob to be his co-hares so that he could blame them had the run been a dud.  He didn't need to worry as the run was well designed going down to the river, then north through UWA and then South through Nedlands.  Emu scored it a nine but probably would have given it a ten if Sir Knob had been a Liberal.
Cheese, bickies, sausage and a welcome fire pit greeted the runners on their return.  The food, delivered by a couple of girls, was a very tasty hot, spicy stew. 
Returnees including Fags, Mark1, Yaapi, Polecat, Crayfish & Rumpole.

On On 

Run 2532 Fags and Cans @ Morris Buzacott Reserve

The scribe was late for the run only to find Fags alone at the bucket with Mark 1 assisting??  Mrs Fags (Pat) was also there keeping the hash nosh warm. Cans had apparently assisted in setting the run but was not there to get any of the credit or blame!


We have previously run in Kardinya but not from this site so here is some information:-

Morris Buzacott Reserve is a sporting space in Kardinya suitable for picnics, medium sized gatherings, family reunions and children’s birthday parties. (And apparently Hash runs!) I couldn’t find any information on who Morris Buzacott was but Google did tell me that a

Hash Run was scheduled there for August 6 involving Hares Fags and Captain!!


The run started with a loop around the Community Centre to a check on Prescott Dr. Then it went along Cassidy, Burdett and Donavon streets and across Somerville Bvd into Chingthrop. A few falsies and checks later and it headed towards Piney Lakes Reserve. Then looping around towards Winthrop Drive around Winthrop Park and back over Somerville into Kardinya and Home.


The front runners arrived at the Bucket around 7pm closely followed by the walkers and the rest of the peloton. About 15 minutes later Haggis, Triplej, Antman and a few others made it back only to be told they had missed the chips. Triplej explained that “any good Scott will never turn his torch on as it uses up the battery and this was why they had lost the trail.” I’m still scratching by head! The Run was scored 9/10!


I had a phone call from one of my golf mates “Stormin” Norman Burd who was standing nearby wondering if this was one of the strange Hash Runs I had talked about. As he was a Burd I introduced him to Birdman. 


The Circle was eventful with various references to the Hash Lunch, very nice Japanese I am told and Stumbles had a complaint for The Mole. Something about coming all the way up from Mandurah and being the only person there? Various down downs awarded for dogs having pyjamas on Antman and Moses. Mumbles for something nobody understood. The entire bunch of Eagles supporters for a weekend in which a huge Gaff was made and for their hierarchy who are a complete embarrassment.


Food was an excellent chicken curry and the pots were not too hard to clean. Thank you Fags!!


On On



Run 2528 – Birdman and Barefoot

It was a great run set up by Birdman and co-hare Barefoot.

The only major criticism is maybe they should not trust meteorologists (especially those in hash) to give you weather forecasts … there was no need for wellington boots.

It was a nice 7.7km run through an area with various stops to admire the impressive houses (mansions and castles).

A warm ham and pea soup was perfect for a nice cold night.

Speial mention to Sir Knob for contributing a whisky for the raffle, to Jerrycan for the insight into Ned Kelly (may he rest in peace), to the committee for allowing Xmas to say a joke (and this time, it was actually pretty good and short), to Dick Tracey for ensuring Bushy never looses his keys again, to Emu for the nice picture of the Croatian president lookalike and to the neighbour dancing along on Birdman's back patio (refer to Shirlock's video at around the 3min 14sec mark).

Thank you Birdman.


Perth #. On On.

(Editor's note from Sir Knob: I think the whisky was donated by Antman)

Run 2530 Dollar Rises Again

We turned up to same same as last time   -It was raining and bleak –Usual for a Monday lately ,except for BIRDMAN”S effort earlier in month .

We took off in the rain with Hare’s instructions to walkers to go thru tunnel  . A small panic as we could not see chalk in dry tunnel . Local knowledge from the Supremo short cutter MOLE , soon had us on trail .

The runners had obviously had some initial difficulty in finding trail in the rain as when they had not caught up at 6:30 the courageous walking group reached the local shopping centre and headed home .Realising we were well ahead ACTION and Google  lead us past home and we came in via the back passage –always pretty exciting !!

According to ANOTHER PRICK In the WALL the  runners had totally lost trail and dribbled in about 7 pm and all quickly headed for shelter for a dry drink .

SIRTOMARSE delivered the worst joke I have heard since Primary School and SCUMMY rabbited on forever about some Harriet function Who Bloody cares ,except BIRDY if the circle lasts more than  7.5 minutes.

EMU then chastised (correctly ) the previous weeks hares for no signage  (left    ‘em home ) and appealed to future Hares to help JMs by finding replacement when unable to perform (a few of us are familiar with that problem )

We then heard about COLONEL’s dick amputation (that WAS funny ) and enoyed DOLLAR’s tasty beef stew .

Well done DOLLAR and FT but there is no reason why you can’t set this run again in 18 months as no-one has fully completed your run yet