A large pack
gathered at Peter Ellis Park, Leeming in anticipation of the virgin run of the
year. It has to be the virgin run of the year even though its only February
because there are no virgins (as far as we know) left in the club.
got off to a raucous start when the Hare politely addressed us as Ladies and
Phantom’s leadership and with his two erstwhile deputies Dick Tracy and Stewie
apparently passed over for possession of the map, the walkers split into two
factions. Fortunately the left and the right reunited just-in-time for the
cheese, biscuits and olives which preceded the circle.
meantime our faction had visited a series of pleasant parks and suburban
streets. What the right did is unknown.
reported lots of chalk and plenty of long false trails. In a sign of a good run
the pack returned together at roughly the same time as both factions of the
Boxy and Signal Man were given the traditional welcome to country down downs.
Antman put on a keg for the circle – but it held only 2.5 l of frothy bitter.
Birdman was called up for apparently summoning an ambulance to take him in
comfort to the run.
produced the winning raffle ticket and won the right to draw a card. Failing to
draw the joker he began a long submission that he deserved the prize anyway.
Many members were worried that he would engage Conman to represent him which
might have seen the food go cold.
Horse read a joke about a gynaecological exam.
Al’iimu tayir aistirali or
Emu as he is known when not in Arabic dress delivered a joke about a 57 photo
response to a Dear John letter.
feed of Penne Bolognese followed
Al’iimu tayir aistirali
awarded the hares a well-deserved score of nine.
Thanks Flasher and Phantom for an excellent night.
Horse’s NYE Party
Around 30 hardened Hashers braved another early rising to meet at Bayswater at a Virgin start point.Not many of those left . The trail was lost early thx to overnight sprinklers but recovered thanks to speedy Seagull .The pack then missed a big loop but Walkers and Runners came together after a long FT. We then followed lakes and lanes splitting at Bird Sanctuary and arriving back all together after 40 minutes Then followed a short circle (enthusiastically approved by Birdman) where down downs went to Phantom for false call, Shakin 30 years and Colonel whose dog got overexcited at a pair of river kayaks Then came Breakfast-a choice of 5 cereals,fruit , yoghurt and toast. Off we went to beat our wives and have a Happy N Y.
Well done HORSE
Hares; Phantom & Sir Knob
Being a new venue for the Hash Xmas Eve morning run, the committee ensured things would run smoothly by setting up early, having plenty of supplies and a passing parade of the female keep fit brigade. Some had dogs, most were serious about their training and all looked fitter than our assembled members.
Phantom explained there was plenty of chalk, FT’s & checks, so there is no need to short cut. Nanny was the first to get lost and trotted home to Phantoms bewilderment. The runners had a nice 45 minute tourist look at Dalkeith and the Swan River under ideal conditions. The splash was made, Champagne was opened and the conversations were jovial
Neon showed up after getting a sun tan down south, Sir Tomarse returned after 5 months at Jogjakarta Uni in Indonesia learning their language, Pembo brought his chair and new knee so he could eat breakfast and Gumby escaped from Argentina to sing us a down down song. Sherlock won the chance of pulling out the joker, whilst Polly told a Christmas joke that included Elbows trying to enter the Pearly Gates.
Dick Tracey, Chunder, Action & Po (a visitor) cooked the bacon, sausages, mushrooms, eggs and baked beans for the 56 runners. A great turn out for the start of the festive season, some even had coffee in Rokeby Rd on their way home.
This area has Religious significance More later
REMINDER Hash is not a race so Front Runners should respect the slower of us (most ) and if run is poorly set initiate Hash Halts and/or wait at end of FT
We started with several good FT’s – perhaps not long enough and then experienced a series of long stretches such that at top of hill the pack was strung out over about 600 metres .
It was then down the other side of the Golf Course with a loop back to Morley Drive.
The pack then meandered thru the back blocks and obviously the FT’s or lack of, did not work as the pack was now strung over about 1 Km . Near the end some front running sheep missed a FT and added another km before arriving home in wrong direction .
Back at Bucket we celebrated BAREFOOT's 80th with Guinness and cheese cake, Xmas was determined to tell another lie (story) but was howled down AND THEN YASSAR ARAFAT appeared in the form of stand in RA .What courage in a Jewish enclave but the pack was very nervous expecting retribution especially with YASSAR partaking alcohol .
Plenty of food in form of beef/silverside burgers with condiments
A good effort marred by lack of effective FTs and selfish front runners (no lack of them )
ON ON Phantom
I’ve always ignored run write-ups on the basis that a) its old news b) only sad souls read them, but I guess as I’m hash cash, I should do the right thing.
The Bullsbrook mob joined us in a potentially rather soggy Riverside Park, but nature was kind over this dry week and only a few leaks seeped into my runners. Have no idea where we went, but nice little bridge over river, then into the bush, only to re-enter at said bridge 45 minutes later. The runners came in awash with sweat after 70 minutes lamenting the lack of false trails.
Horse had Bulllsbrook’s Tampax up for a down-down for an unruly dog then rambled on about the Mother Hash 80th year (apparently Barefoot was a hit as he was born on same years the hash !), apologised to Polecat for his poor maths (40 years, not 30 in hash) and Emu told a great joke involving $200 in coins with Budgie as the main actor. The Bullsbrook boys finished with their boisterous song.
Neon and Mastitis excelled with a Curry (made by Neon’s 81` year old mother !!), with Ice-cream and two-fruits to finish and were awarded a well-deserved 8.
On a particularly dry night (despite the weather expectations) a small group of runners set out from the bucket before losing the trail immediately. Fortunately, it was picked up again and the pack continued on the trail despite their brief lack of direction. The run was well set with plenty of false trails and checks to keep the pack together with the only gripe it needing a bit more chalk. Roughly 50 minutes and 7km later (Unless you’re a SCB) the pack arrived back at the bucket in time for chips and splash.
During the circle, down downs went to returnees Shakin, Pitt, Goliath, Mastitis and Conman as well as Polly for his 3-wheeled journey down south and Birdman for his hole-in-one. The bell went to Goliath for jumping the fence into the bowling club
For dinner, the Hares had cooked up a Hash classic of burgers with a welcome addition of bacon and onions that certainly went down well.
We started with a customary loop and off GAYLANDS . Some FTs were used but a few early would have slowed the Swifties although a couple of well place FT finally did that . THEN we crossed busy Guildford road and a head count was needed to ensure no one was a casualty . Thru side streets and over Garrett Rd to a series of lanes near Bayswater subway and the back to the Railway .
The Walkers (some ) crossed under the Railway for a brief contact with the pack and then followed the West side of the line to Meltham station .A small group of Rebel Walkers stayed on the East of the line to short cut home under guidance of FAGS who lead them the LONG way
OH yes the Drain . When the pack reached the drain they avoided the obvious crossing to avoid wet feet and as a result entered the GREAT SANDY DESERT which seemed to go on forever –some option!!
Finally another disaster ridden crossing of Guildford Rd and the Walkers were home in 1 hour and Runners about 1:10
There was panic from MUMBLES as the RA called in sick and there appeared to be no chips .SIR KNOB to the rescue with chips and RA duties which included (eat your heart out EMU )a Welcome to Country and a personal message from the local muslim IMAN )
HAGGIS got the bell for setting the run ,and then running the run to keep pack together Looked a great run which good have been even better with a few more FTs to keep the pack less strung out .
MULIGATAWNY soup followed and finally because of the small pack BUDGIE and DICK insisted on take aways to reduce bottle counting
Wouldnt be dead for QUIDS
ON ON PHANTOM
RUN 2534 20 August 2018
Timberlane Park Community Centre, Woodvale
Hares: French Tickler & Dollar
Under a threatening sky a pack (about 35 – 40) gathered in a good location. The hares optimistically decided to dispense with the shelter and set up in the open. A certain golden retriever demonstrated a new meaning for the term “dog wash” involving a vehicle and proved he could out pee anyone in hash.
The runners set off into the gathering gloom whilst a recovered Phantom led the walkers across the park and into some bush. Unfortunately he had some difficulty reading the map and spent some time to and froing. He was concerned that the pack had lost the trail (which seemed to be well marked the bits we saw) and considered retreating to the bucket in case the runners drank all the beer & ate the chips. However in the nick of time the runners arrived out of the dark from a walkway, said “where the fuck are we” and then continued on their merry way. Phantom then retreated with the walkers and led them back to the bucket by a circuitous route arriving just before the front runners who had short cut some of the run. The trail did appear to be well marked but had given the runners some problems.
Down Downs were held (amongst others – blame my senile dementia) SCB – returnee, Emu – birthday, Jack Russel – anniversary
Dockers supporters for Fremantle setting a record no one else would want and the wrong dogs got blamed for the dog wash.
Food was plentiful – an excellent spicey sausage, beans and potato stew with brinjal pickle.
Showers eventually dispersed the pack and Emu awarded it a well deserved 9.
Instead of his usual On On under the Fremantle traffic bridge, Jaapie decided to have us assemble at the lacrosse ground down river but on top of the hill where there was little to no cover from a biting westerly which near froze out the pack. Nice views from there though…
The run was cleverly set with many falsies which kept the pack tight (thankfully so we could keep warm) and a lot of hills. The return to the On On was sudden and much appreciated except for One Prick in the Wall who decided to dive into the carpark. That cost him a down-down and some skin also but he'll live.
The circle was called and Colonel coped a well deserved down-down for submitting his first letter to the West suggesting Ross Lyon should be sacked for some unclear reason. Also collecting down-downs were Chunda who entertained us with his recollections of the Kalgoorlie Boulder HHH weekend and JJJ for going back to Scotland to sort out Brexit. Returnees included Deeply Boring, Wagon, Jack Russell & Dick Tracy and Polecat finally supplied his birthday beers. As luck would have it the cold wind dropped when the RA ran out of imagination and in time for hot Goulash soup. On on. FT
Reluctant strategically asked Phantom and Sir Knob to be his co-hares so that he could blame them had the run been a dud. He didn't need to worry as the run was well designed going down to the river, then north through UWA and then South through Nedlands. Emu scored it a nine but probably would have given it a ten if Sir Knob had been a Liberal.
Cheese, bickies, sausage and a welcome fire pit greeted the runners on their return. The food, delivered by a couple of girls, was a very tasty hot, spicy stew.
Returnees including Fags, Mark1, Yaapi, Polecat, Crayfish & Rumpole.