PHact (Perth Hash Awesome Cycling Team) riders rejoice

Fri 27/03/2020 6:38 PM

FT, Providing this is not fake news one would say Trump is good man “recognising bikers”

Everyone, you & your families stay safe.

Cheers Budgie.

Fri 27/03/2020 6:38 PM
Sent: Friday, 27 March 2020 4:20 AM

To: Botak ; Bruce Sleeman; Budgie ; Bushie ; Colonel ; Crayfish ; Moses ; Mumbles; Prairie Dog ; Sawbones ; XYZ

Subject: Meanwhile, in the good old USA

President Donald Trump leads the (fake) peloton!

Run 2613 – Mastitis’ All Black Run


This is testing the memory somewhat as we have since had and written up the Blue Dress Run.

However this intrepid Horn has decided to dig deep and recalls a damned fine run set by a seasoned Hashman with a pile of smarts even if tested by rain and having to re-mark the run at the last gasp.

So we set off from Blackall Reserve on an 8km or so run which offered plenty for the serious runners, but also leaving enough for the lesser folks such as c’est moi who only ran 7.0 km in the hour.

We headed South through a bit of bush and looped getting close to the Mitchell Freeway but cleverly avoiding crossing any main roads.

Then we stayed in a clockwise circle running up Coolibah Drive before heading back East and North past the Greenwood College and the West Greenwood Primary school and another loop to test us before leading us home back to the Reserve.

Then Larry the Man delivered an adequate and elegant meal of turkey burgers.

All in all a very good show and worth everything and more of the score given by the RA.

Run 2614 – Blue Dress Run with the Harriettes

As always the Perth Harriettes did a marvelous job for the Blue Dress Run, though I thought it was a pretty poor show to rubbish a distinguished and fit bunch of Hashmen, if a little decrepit in most cases, by arranging the event at Beasley Park, where there were a gazillion young footfall spunks over whom most lechered for the early part of the evening (please note that this verb is applicable to both genders).

In spite of all the muttering, there was enough parking and the 7:00pm start was not an issue.

The run was about 6.2 km and did a clockwise loop up to South Street, meandered along it finding a little bush to make it a little harder and longer and then we came back across Beasley Road for a dose of bit more bush and sand before heading through suburbia, to a drink-stop nice and close to home and then a gentle run in.

The Circle was to a high standard with participation by numerous clubs that I will not try and list here. There was much mirth and noise of course, and there were even interstate visitors, one of whom received a down-down for having been a member of just about every Hash club in Australia.

Good job Ladies.

We hope you were happy with the funds collected.

50th Anniversary Parliament House run photos

The Premier of Western Australia, Mark McGowan MLA, speaks to the hash chapters of Perth on the steps of Parliament House.

Mark McGowan MLA, on the steps of Parliament House addressing the gathered hashers (from the many chapters in greater Perth area). The Premier spoke about the benefits of running hash and commented that he has known Eric Ripper, former leader of the Labor Party, known to us as ‘Sir Knob’ for over 25 years. He went on to say he has never seen Eric looking better so Hash must be benefitting him.

The Premier then called ‘On on that way’ and depending where you where standing it was either to the left or to the right, showing that Hash is apolitical.

The Premier of Western Australia, Mark McGowan MLA, addresses the Hash on the steps of Parliament House.
GM greets Premier of WA
Perth Hash 2020 GM, Max ‘Horse’ Hore, meets and greets the Premier of Western Australia.
Is that chalk for marking the run asked the Premier?
Polly, On Sec of Perth Hash, gets to talk next.
Hmmm…which way does the run go, ‘to the left’?
Wagon & Cans.
Hamersley Hash have a photo opportunity with the Premier.
The Premier asks Sir Knob about the benefits of joining Perth Hash.
The signing of the Perth Hash T-Shirts.
Hashers of Perth.
What time does the run start?
Last opportunity to view the Perth Hash ‘Beer Bus’.
Great food was (self) served.
It wouldn’t be a joint run without Hamersley Hash! And South of Perth Hash House Harriers.
Sir Knob, RA of Perth Hash, addressing the hashers.
Our Chief Tugger, Rumpole, enjoying a small drink.
Meanwhile whilst the runners where hitting the streets the GM and On Sec (and St Peter, a founding member along with Cans who both ran on run #1 on 16/02/1970) were posing with the Premier of Western Australia, Mark McGowan MLA.

We understand ‘Sarge’ from the Perth Harriettes convinced the Premier to don the 50th Anniversary Perth Hash House Harriers T-Shirt for the photo opportunity.

Run 2610 – Elbows Chicken Run

Chicken Run is a 2000 stop motion animated comedy film produced by the British studio Aardman Animations in partnership with American studio DreamWorks Animation. The studio’s first feature-length film, it was directed by Peter Lord and Nick Park from a screenplay by Karey Kirkpatrick and story by Lord and Park.

What Happened On Monday?

We headed to Willetton for Elbows run.
We gave away a shitload of money, we had chicken again, thank goodness they have stopped giving chickens hormones I don’t know what we would look like with all the chicken we are eating.
We gave Rhino his name back, everyone got a T-shirt and a singlet to celebrate our birthday, we had to leave by 8-30 before the gate was locked so we all went home early some with a few bucks in their pocket.
Next stop AGPU thank fuck
On On
Triple J

Polly’s Raffle

Well what a night!

How ironic was it, that very early in the run, we went straight past Mal Atwell’s shop, where I have been buying all of the tickets from.

The night was full of expectation with the promise that all 4 kitties would be won.

Tickets sold like proverbial hot cakes and in fact, 390 were sold on the night. An all time record.

Dicky had to help get all the butts in the bucket as I was getting RSI. As it turned out I needed a bigger bucket.

First up Top Gun/Rhino pulled out Apricot H06, but there was no owner.

Then Apricot H74 owned by Grizzly who wasn’t able to pull the cover off a wet and dry thermometer let alone the Joker. He drew 2H.

That left just six cards. Grizzly drew Red H73 and then up came Q and whilst singing his theme song, “If I was Rich Man”, and then he was one, having managed to do something that nobody else could, he pulled The Joker and won Kitty2 valued at $938.25.

Back in went The Joker, back in went Q’s golden hand and out came Pink G78 and it was Another Prick in The Wall.

He stepped up to the dwindling deck and pulled The Joker, earning himself $738.25 in the process.

In went The Joker again, in went APIW’s silver hand and out came Green H54.

Up came Colonel and he drew THAT BLOODY JOKER again. A friggin’ hat trick. He collected $538.25

In went The Joker again, by this time he was emulating Elbows, in, out,in, out…

This time it was Pink G26 and up came Dollar Bill.

Could we do four in row, after 47 no shows. The odds were against him with only six cards.

No he didn’t, he extracted 2C and our little friend was still hiding.

Next was Red H90 and Xmas was given the chance to try his luck and he did it. Grabbing The Joker and collecting the last Kitty of $338.25

Last week I said that we would give away over $2,400, we actually gave away $2,553 and for some, it Was Their Lucky Day.

Total funds raised for the 50th were $2966.50, which is nearly 20% more than I estimated.

In all 44 different Hashmen had the chance to draw for The Joker.

I would like the thank Flasher for stepping in when I wasn’t available to run the raffle and Dick Tracey and Budgie for helping on the night and to everyone else who took part.

On on


Run 2612 – The 50th Anniversary of Hashing in WA

No matter what obstacles appeared on the horizon, Run 2612, The 50th Anniversary of Hashing in WA and of the Perth Hash House Harriers was going to start on the steps of Parliament House with the Harriers sent on their way by The Premier.

Subtle car park changes and negotiations with Government Departments by Seagull, Sir Knob and others, Bushie interviewing ER or UT (Extinction Rebellion/ Urban Terrorists) who, as it turned out, knew about Hash and said they wouldn’t interfere with us and a nudge to the start time, coupled with a well marked trail from the bucket to the actual start, set the stage for a fantastic celebration. With Hashmen from Hamersley, Harriettes, West Coast, Corio Bay and other clubs, and old members returning for the event, even Soapie from Thailand, there was a very large pack.

As the pack assembled for photos on the steps, The Premier arrived and after some photos with the assembled pack, proceeded to the top of the steps where he  spoke of the history of Hashing from Kuala Lumpur and its eventual arrival in Perth. With the formalities over, he declared the start of the run “On On that way to the left, or if you were on the ground it was to the right.” Just proves how apolitical Hash is.

The pack headed off to the city, a drink stop and then Jacob’s Ladder. From all reports received to date, it was well marked, well set and a very enjoyable run.

The circle was called, or in this case a polygon and the formalities started.
The welcome is reproduced in full here.

Visitors and Returnees.

Welcome everyone to the 50th Anniversary celebration of Hashing in Perth and of the Perth Hash House Harriers. Perth Hash is the 4th oldest club in Australia and along with Canberra, a daughter of Mother Hash. It is also the mother of 10 other Hash clubs in WA, across the nation and the world., including Honiara in the Solomon Islands, Jersey in the UK and Santa Cruz in Bolivia. God knows how many grandchildren and further generations have sprung from there.

50 years ago some intrepid Hashmen set off on what was the first run, but as there are so many visitors here tonight, I thought it best to get four outstanding Hashmen to represent all of us. The rest of you can do your own down downs. So, representing those first Hashmen, Foundation Members and Life Members of Perth Hash, Cans and St Peter.

Representing all of those Hashmen who missed the first run, but have joined since, some have left and others have stuck like the proverbial. A Hashman who started on Run 14 and hasn’t missed one since, Pitt.

In February 1970 this next Hashman was just past a twinkle in his dad’s eye, but not yet making his mark on the world, or his mother’s tummy for that matter, as he didn’t take his first breath until Run 30.  So representing all those Hashmen born after the start of Perth Hash, Seagull.

Instead of having a racist, sexist, politically incorrect joke on such an auspicious occasion, the On Sec instead reminisced about the state of the world at the time of the birth of Perth Hash, included by request.

 Back in 1970, the world was a very different place,

There was a famine in east Africa and many in the Western World were volunteering to go there and assist.

This included some from Australia.

Anyway, there was a good looking girl over there dishing it out…. the food I mean, and she was kidnapped by an African war lord.

As I said, it was a very different world and the Iranian Army was over there as peace keepers.

Soon they rescued her and, as she was very good looking, she ended up in a prince’s harem.Remember that there were no mobile phones back then and you had to book trunk calls.

The UN was able to get a message to her family back in Australia that she was all right.Eventually, after quite a few weeks, she was able to contact her family in Australia. Her mother said, “But why didn’t you try to escape?”

To which she replied,

“It was like this…

I’d rather be pleasantly perforated by the perfumed penis of a Persian Prince than have my belly button battered by the bouncing balls of a Biafran Bandit.”

The Grand Master then presented Cans and St Peter with Founding Member shirts which said on the back,“I’m over 70 and have been running Hash for over 50 years.”The RA then took over with down-downs for Hashmen with over 40 years experience and then he told his joke.After all of this, it was time for a feed and a great job was done by Dick Tracey and his helpers, cooking the chicken breast fillets which were consumed with with bread rolls and salads.More drinking and interacting with the other clubs, finally brought the night to a close at around 9:30.All in all a very pleasant conclusion to the evening.From the congratulatory messages received on the night and over the next couple of days, it was a roaring success. So well done everyone involved.Here is a list of our daughter clubs.
Honiara H3 [SLB 1973],
Casuarina H3 [AUS 1973],
Perth HH Harriettes [AUS 1978],
Hamersley H3 [AUS 1978],
South of Perth H3 [AUS 1981],
Bendigo H3 [AUS 1985],
Jersey H3 [GBR 1986],
Santa Cruz H3 [BOL 1990],
Perth Bush H3 [AUS 1998],
West Coast H3 [AUS 2002]

50 Year Anniversary

Saturday at the Pickering Brook Sports Club, started with some early starters arriving at around noon to find Growie already set up from the night before.

As the attendees arrived to set up camp, some on the top car park, others at the back of the oval and the non campers trickling in right up to the 4:00pm run start, lots of stories were exchanged and contacts re-established.

The Hare, Boner explained that the trial was uphill, except when it was down hill or on the flat. Off went the pack, walkers included for a ramble through the hills and bush to a drink stop and then a return journey back to the club.

There were some stories from the outgoing GM and Nanny had a Hard Quiz section whilst everyone was assembled on the lawn. After some showers for those smelly ones, and the arrival of 200 cars from the Ford Car Club, the food was served just as it started to rain.

The car club’s band struck up and was still going when the last of the car club members left, so the Hashmen, wives and partners, took over the dance floor. When the band finished and was packing up, an executive decision by GM Barcode, saw them stay for another set, thereby ensuring that those Hashmen who weren’t worn out from running up and down hills were knackered from dancing.

Run 2611 – AGPU @ Forrestfield

We arrived at the longest, skinniest car park ever. Looked like the Mitchell Freeway at 5:00 pm except that the cars were side by side instead of end to end. It stretched from Forrestfield to Orange Grove.

Eventually the Hashmen congregated at the sports pavilion for Triple J’s final departure speech and then we were off.

Through the streets of Forrestfield, along creek reserves through parks to a drink stop that the runners apparently missed. Don’t know how, before wending our way back to the bucket.

Down-downs were given for visitors; Son of Dave and Boner. Pembo got one for letting his dog crap between the cones on a relatively pristine oval just as the kids were starting training. Remember dogs 15m from the food and now dog shit 15m from the kids. New Rule. Rumpole get one for a lack of Tooheys Old in the bucket.

Hash 10 Year Anniversary mugs were given out to Pembo, Conman, and Sherlock and a 20 Year one for Moses. Of course they all got downdowns, but cleverly placed the plastic cups inside their new mugs so they didn’t get it dirty, or they didn’t get poisoned, one or the other.

Budgie got a well deserved down-down for throwing Triple J’s hat in the bin, although after Triple described how it got there, it was more like a condom that a hat apparently. Maybe VW stands for Very Wet.

Grand Master Barcode then took the crate and called forward our Two Founding Members, Cans and St Peter and made them both Life Members of the club. A well deserved honour for 50 years of Hashing in Perth.

He then presented the Annual Awards.

This will also re republished in the ANAL.

Annual Awards
Henry Lawson Award for EloquenceGoliath
The Silver TrapRimmer
Dunny SeatShakin’
Gordon Blue Sir Knob
Run of the YearLasagna
Prick of The YearXmas
Hashman of the YearPolly