Run 2724- Sir Tomarse at Carine

Thirty nine Hashmen including Tom’s good mate Halfway from HHHH were treated to a great winter evening in a good location, with good weather, parking, run, walk and feed. What more could one ask for?A contingent of 16 runners were hugely impressed by the brilliant marking and heaps of checks with some false trails for the 30 minutes until we missed a laneway or two and got into a spot of bother. However, Nanny took that extent of trouble to a new high when a three way check attacked by FT, Q and Nanny had our intrepid bugler running 1 km out to Marmion Ave and then back before turning a 7km run into a 9½km version. The inputs of Christmas were evident in the latter section of the run, but it all worked pretty well and we even got back to the Onon in 50 minutes ahead of and together with the walkers.The short circle was followed by a great, tasty and hot feed of chicken curry and rice with light fluffy rice far better for ±60 portions than this scribe manages for one.

Great job SirTom and Christmas – a credit to Monday PHHH nights.

Write up provided by Moses

Run 2723- Budgie at Charley Riley Reserve – (2)

Write-up 2: kindly provided by Sir Tom Arse

Run WRITE UP 11th July 2022

Hare:  Budgie

Co Hare and cook extraordinaire Dick Tracey

Assisted by A P I WALL

A small pack of some 35 hashers started at Charles Riley Playing fields, on a perfectly clear, chilly night, pack headed across the paddock then towards North Beach Rd. We headed West two F Trails winding South and into the Trigg Bushland Reserve. Then East to Duart rd. before going North and back to the start.

First runner in 40 Mins was Q, closely followed by Orgasm, French Tickler etc.  the runners pack of about 20, rest walkers.

Grand Master Polly ran the raffle, won by Ringburner, On sec ran the circle finishing with our Religious Advisor Reluctant, who punished the Cyclists for some reason, birthdays Mastitis and ?

Is was particularly great to have Growie ( Hashing 53 yrs ex Sydney) and Bill ‘Megs’ appearance Megsie HOSH member

I was given a down down as my better half tuned 75 today, strange I thought, but appreciated as she is an outstanding lady.

The gas fire was in demand, as the temperature dropped, acknowledgement of a successful lunch at Dardanup attended by about 8 guys, all enjoyed it. The other lunch previous Friday was at Murphy’s Irish Pub, set up by Stumbles and Doc from Mandurah Hash, about 12 hashers enjoyed the day, except the main man Stumbles who missed it due to COVID.  Shit happens

Dick Tracy outstanding pots of beautiful wholesome tucker, chicken and vegs and providing take a way.

All in all, another great night with a short circle.


Run 2722- Q at Kostera Oval

Country Boys, sorry Hills Boys the young bloke Q & the old man Seagull (giving advice of course) not that Q needs it as I had a spotter see a Hashman marking some chalk using a scooter to move around on, it appears Q was carrying his partner.
We started with a pack of 30, the 16 runners set of followed by the 10 walkers (4 kept the bucket warm) The walkers usual leader “The ghost who walks” was removed & local Stewie (I just live around the corner) took over, great move after wondering around the streets we went Bush, a lot of fun, dark as a, rocks, gravel all proved to be a challenge for the walkers unless you had a torch, well marked, easy to follow, then out to the streets for a comfortable stroll home in 50 minutes, perfect for the average age of 75.
On arrival back to the bucket the shit hit the fan, Where were the Runners!!! it appears the running team broke up going their separate ways, good plan boys whilst your fellow Hashman stood around the fire having a beer & a bit of bull shit waiting. The runners started wondering in at 1 hour, 1.15 & you guessed it the last 3 to get in Triple, Sir Knob & Mastitis at 1hr 40 min. Not sure who their leader is but perhaps he needs advice from an old runner or two.
It was a good interesting walk/run, well marked.
A delayed circle was entertaining with the fire well received with extremely tasty Pulled pork coleslaw rolls to celebrate American Independence Day.   I was pleased to see the boys from the Western Suburbs, Coastal Suburbs & others make the effort to support the Hares considering a cold night & a 40-45 min drive. 

Well done boys Budgie

Run 2720 – Rumpole & Moses at WA institute of Sport

RUMPOLE and Co   (a cast of Thousands )

Well done for RUMPY, MOSES, EMU and MASTITIS for volunteering , in place of our indisposed LASAGNE.

We got to McGillivray to witness  minor rain which going to make the ground wet and smudge the chalk. And it did.

The runners set out around north side of HBF Stadium and the Walkers on South side and never the twain did meet. BIRDMAN took over the walkers and lead half on a short cut to the drink stop, leaving PHANTOM to rally the rest. As we passed the old Asylum Building (now an Aged home) it was remarked that there were more oldies outside (us )than inside.

As the Walkers had taken a big short cut we got to drink stop early and took off well before the bedraggled runners. With the help of a map we found the lane to get the short cut home, and thank God for the map as trail was difficult to find in lane and thru holes in the fence and wet grass.  BUDGIE was a minor casualty as he took a dive on trip wire and walkers were back at 7:10.

The runners were another 10 minutes and needed the help of Live Hare MASTITIS, to find the trail at various times.

An interesting run which would have suited a Summer situation but full marks for RUMPY and Co for stepping up.

Perhaps hares could make it a little easier to find restart after a false trail.

The UWA women’s AFL team was meeting adjacent to us and DOLLA and ELBOWS could not resist the opportunity to lay on the charms (WITHOUT SUCCESS)

Food was Vege Lasagne (it was supposed to be LASAGNE’S run after all) and a couple to red bloods were heard to say “Where’s the Meat “  — what Pussies




Run 2717- Polecat at Karoonda Reserve, Booragoon

ARISTOCRAT (also known as Ace Ambulance ) with Elbows better known as :

The Freo Doctors

It’s a while since we started from this spot and there was shelter if the rains came, but it turned out to be a perfect night .

The Walkers followed a well marked map which left no doubt which route to take as we followed the spine of the run .  We followed back streets, lanes and thru Booragoon Shopping centre, until we hit the bush tracks in Wireless Hill. Here the numerous tracks did not show well on the map and we managed to get lost and come out on the West side of the Park (not the South as intended )

At this point we abandoned the map and headed home roughly retracing our steps getting back in 1 hr ten .

We assessed that the run itself might be hard to follow even with numerous false trails as the restart each time seemed a little difficult to find and at the end of 1:25 mins some of our senior runners were a little puffed out !!  But even though the incoming runners were spread they seemed to enjoy themselves

Polly stood in for Pembo (off seeing the Krauts -don’t mention the war ) and he was short and sweet  but gave a top joke about penguin shagging .

Reluctant gave both barrels to fellow geo Action for not being able to open a simple gate (you pull not push mate) and gave the run an 8.5  

Sausage hot pot went down well to finish a top night

WBDFQ   Phantom

Run 2716 – Topgun at Belmont

Run 2716 – Topgun – Belmont

Well, what a night. I sailed west in my car pushed by 50knott gusts to the run site in Belmont. Cost me only about $1.50 in petrol to get there but probably $30 to get home.

Great cover inside the Coles Second Bite factory unit where Topgun has started his runs from time immemorial.

This was by a large margin the best run he has ever set, admittedly given a very low baseline. But wait. It was a “Claytons” run – the run you set when you don’t set a run.

Toppy had a higher calling(election work) and Phantom and Sir Knob graciously came forward as Hares to help out.

Belmont is a prick of an area to set a run, and given the harsh conditions on the night, made even worse. However, this was a crafted well thought out run and generally had the pack together throughout.

The start was the usual FT then the pack headed north into “no name” pathway along a stormwater stream. The Tickler had a map in the event the run was totally washed out and it was at the 5 minute mark that he was totally flummoxed. We have another Phantom in the making as he turned the map upside down, around and around and then turned it over to get bearings. By this time El Beaux had found trail (El Beaux?? What’s he doing running??Don’t hearts have a say in the matter)  and off we took in a clockwise direction over Abernethy Rd along GE Hwy snaking back and around Centenary Park. You know the rudiments of a good run when Peter Pitt is occasionally in front followed closely by Moses plus dog. From C Park we essentially ran west back towards home with good false trail and a few checks – again the pack was together – and finally back to the other side of the storm water walkway then back up Robinson Ave to home. I reckon about a 50 minute run of only light rain so we all returned only slightly damp. You did it, Hares. Good run in shitty conditions, and I don’t know how you did it, but the fair weather hour was picked and made the run all the more enjoyable.

At the On On afterwards it was good to see Dicky back after illness, but also Deeply Boring and Fijian Rumpy OD back. Then I heard Polly say “Fuck tradition we’re serving food first before the circle”. This had Top Gun frantically putting out boxes of pizza which he told me quietly he was hoping to serve cold after a long circle just to give the boys the shits after such a good run. Some hashmen never change!

Now it was reported that Stewy fell over on the walk. What!!! Another one!!!! It’s now obvious that we are going to have to nominate a weekly fallee as part of the run agenda so everyone gets a turn.

Also, it’s time to notice board those weekly Covid winners and this week it was Xmas and Dollar. Get well boys, it’s not the nicest way to spend time absent from hash.

And now we have a child abuse segment with Q receiving the short end of Reluctant’s stick with a brothel joke. I’m told he is of tough extraction so he’ll pull through the trauma by next week…..and so will Q.

Did you notice that there was no talk about aussie rules football on the night. Yeah, well, we’ll let that one rest.

It did not go unnoticed. The smirk”I told you so” on one hashman’s  face all through the walk and On On afterwards. Never easy with… Sir Knob. And worse still Crayfish sucking up to this man in political discussion during the night. Is the crustacean going to change sides? Have the libs moved too far right???So, which is true – have the Pentecostals won or lost??

Happy birthday to Ace – was it your 77th?

Well that’s it. Great run and On On. This factual run write up will be on time as the author has been freatoned with the curse, “ may all the hairs on your arse turn to little hammers and beat the shit out of you”  if it is not.


Run 2715 -Bushie at Tuart Hill

The below is ‘stolen’ from Moses’ write up (thanks anyway):

Bushie’s 70th bash

We gathered in Acorn Lane with a turnout of 41 including Growie and Deeply Boring. Good to have Ace and Dick Tracey back too.

Locating the Bucket to satisfy the two pilots took some resolution but it all worked pretty well with enough parking and not too much through traffic during the circle.

The run was well set and used the territory well as one would expect from Bushie and FT. The two drink stop blew the minds of some of the runners and it was with relief that we found the second school water fountain so the Hashmen could concentrate on running, There were 14 runners to start and 11 finished together at a shade over 7½ km in 67 minutes.

At Dog Swamp, Jack Russell decided to have a closer look at the verge which smelt pretty bloody awful with a tumble that hurt only his pride.

Bushie provided Guinness at the bucket and provided a damned fine meal of curry & rice with chips and it was pretty impressive to see forty plates being delivered almost simultaneously. A bit of sweating from Bushie when the meal took just a while to come out, but it was hot, tasty good chips and greatly appreciated by the throng.Well done Bushie.

The stand-in RA/Nanny score of 9.17 a good result.Another Monday evening in paradise.

Run 2714- Wagon at Brown Park, Swan View

The run directions were easy to follow with the added advantage that Crayfish was driving so I didn’t have to know the way: –


Proceed North on Roe Highway, turn right onto Morrison Road continue to Amherst Road turn right – Look For Feet

☒ There were ample parking places so those challenged with that skill could easily be accommodated.

☒ There were plenty of lights.

☒ There didn’t appear to be a lot of shelter, but now the awning has been erected several times that was now an option for the erection experts.

I set off with the walkers then joined the runners at Eldwick Loop heading north, although the pace was 14 minutes a km so one could keep up when walking. Later the pace picked up to sub 10-minute k’s.

Then right into Churchill Drive and meandered north until Willoughby Way where we headed west. The views of Perth in the distance were stunning.

Clever use of territory found us heading back past Swan View Senior High School. Eventually crossing the playing field east of Amherst Road.

A well-set run by experienced hares which kept the pack together.


  • Visitors
  • Returnees
  • Others

Gumby didn’t get to sing any down-down songs.

Polly spoke about Ace and the flowers that the club sent to the nurse (Isobella Oats) who was a great help liaising with the St John Ambulance (via 000) when they wouldn’t give me much information, as well as using her nursing skills to help Ace. Isobella lives adjacent the street that Ace fell on.

Polly also spoke about Dick Tracy’s gall bladder operation and that he didn’t have septicaemia. He is on the mend and should be back at hash next week for Bushie’s Birthday Bash run.

Pembo was interrupted several times by planes flying low as the prepared to land at Perth Airport. Wagon was criticised for not arranging for a lull in plane movements to coincide with our hash circle.

Pembo then told a great joke about a Rabbi and a Catholic Priest that nobody had heard before.

Priest and Rabbi

A priest and a rabbi were having lunch and the priest asked, “Have you ever strayed from not eating pork?” The rabbi said, “Well, once, but there was absolutely nothing else to eat, so I had a ham sandwich.”

Then the rabbi asked the priest, “Did you ever stray from your vow of celibacy?” The priest said, “Yes, just once.”

And the rabbi said, “Sure beats a ham sandwich, doesn’t it?”

Maybe he will tell this one next time?

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi decided to go skinny dipping…

Suddenly, they saw three women walking towards them. Each was a member of their flocks. The priest and the minister covered their privates with their hands and closed their eyes waiting for the agony to end.
After the women walked away they noticed the rabbi had covered his face and not his nether regions. He said, “My flock recognizes my face. What kinda sermons do you give?”

The run was awarded 8.3 points after a long and confusing (to me) method of arriving at this total. Q kept note of the running total as points were added and subtracted for various reasons which I can’t remember.

The food was served, and it was meatloaf with salad consisting of lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, onion on a bread roll. Very tasty. And very kind to next week’s hare (me) who’s duties include washing the cups, plates and pots used. That would have been fine until Xmas decided they could all go in one tub thus spilling the dregs from the down-down cups all over the plates which were dry at that point!

A great night wouldn’t be dead for quids.

On On


Run 2713 – Reluctant at Point Resolution

Write up by next week’s hare : Wagon

A cool autumn evening at a good location with about 43 Hashmen pitching up (eventually) for a moderately well set run, with no signs, no cover, but good enough parking, lots of variation on the run, a great drink stop and a terrific run home along the beach and up a good climb to end.  6.6km and 58 minutes for the group that stayed together.  The run fell apart somewhat at the four way check and there were multiple groups thereafter. Meanwhile the walkers had a pleasant ramble through the streets of downtown Dalkeith ably led by the navigation skills of Mr walker

The walkers had Ace damage himself after a nasty fall.  The Circle was negatively affected and we all hope that Ace is AOK and back next week. His accident brought out the best in most of our Hashmen, but not all with some incredibly stupid behaviours too.  To those who stood by, fetched others and assisted; well done as that is what Mates do. (He is now home and on the mend.)

In the event, a great night, a good run and a great spag bol, thanks to Reluctant and his senior management.  Certainly worthy of an 8 using the Emu true evaluation criteria.( although under the reluctant mathematical model it came in at 11)

Run 2711 – Pembo at Canning Vale

Write-up courtesy of Phantom

As usual PEMBO does it differently
We all got on a Bus at the factory (Dogs included) and were driven to near Pembos home
The Walkers got off first,but 500 metres too far, as the driver missed the drop off point. The runners were taken somewhere else.
After a 600 meter walk we got to Pembos house for the traditional drink .It was chaos with his dogs,our dogs and the runners all arriving at much the same time.
We then had a 4.4 km walk ,basically following the bus route we had just come on, until we met the runners about 10 minutes from home arriving at the bucket at 7:30.
The run apparently was a bit short on FT and checks but who cares after what came nexy.
Now the fun started. 2 nubile lasses serving the beer which included cartoons from BIRDMAN,BOTAK (off to the motherland )and PIGGY .There was good red wine too and a shot of Scotch if you were game.
The nubiles were very friendly but must have been cold (still nipples).
Then came the REAL PIZZAS in a never ending stream, including for you non-believers, seafood pizza
If that was not enough we now had DAKOTA (not a plane but a real live Entertainer),and entertain she did,at the expense of ELBOWS who was covered in more cream than a Pavlova ! She had more moves that chess board and more toys than my grandkids. What a show. Not sure what the Finale was as my driver was so overcum he had to leave

PEMBO Tops as usual
ON ON Phantom