Run 2733- Mastitis at Kingsley Memorial Clubrooms

The pack & six dogs gathered on a cold windy night at Kingsley Football Club. It is 20 years since Kingsley lost team members in the Bali bombings.

18.02 the pack set off with the walkers following Kingsley Dr south to the shops. Phantom lead them along various streets including Creaney Dr, Shepard Bush Dr, Lambeth Pl, Newham Way Park, Wimbledon Dr, Mitchell Freeway bike path, Hepburn Ave, over Kingsley Dr, east through the overgrown verge shrubbery, Gilmore St, Canis Cl, Cetus Crt, Dalmain St Primary School, Holborn Cl, Mortlake Pl & Shepherds Bush Dr again. The pack split with Birdman short cutting home and Phantom trying to find the home trail. Off again heading east in Shepherds Bush Dr again (maybe he has not seen it for a while), Chiswick Pl, Stratford Pl across the oval & home at 19.12.

The runners came in at 19.30 after their drink stop. The chips were opened and the circle started at 19.40.

The run was a bit long for the older members and nicely compensated by great food, even some leftovers for the family. Well done, Mastitis, Neon, Moses, Flasher and Polly the parrot, I mean pirate.



Run 2732- Crayfish at Charles Veryard Reserve, North Perth

A run site we have used before offering good shelter, which was a good job as the rain began as the pack assembled for the run just before 6 o’clock. After a minute’s silence to recognize and honour the late Queen Elizabeth II, the walkers, at least half a dozen canines and even a reasonable pack of runners headed off into the fading light of the evening and threatening rain which came and went throughout the run, light and not so light. I was walking with the runners and for a while kept up with the likes of FT and APITW, but after a while I found myself with some of the “back-runners” somewhere around Angove Street with no sight or sound of the pack,  nor any sign of chalk. So we made our way east towards North Perth, then headed back towards the start which turned out to be reasonably close to the actual run route.  Great timing as we came in with the rest of the pack, who claimed the run was around 6.5km, although a lot of chalk was washed out and Q pulled out a map to help make the run a success.

All Walkers, Runners and Dogs returned safe and sound, and gathered under the very adequate shelter and the circle got under way with a down down for Neon for talking in the Circle followed by birthday boy Skid who also supplied a carton for the boys. Also noted was Sir Knob and Conman who weren’t present but also were also celebrating birthdays.

Soon to be birthday boy Top Gun was awarded a DD for his birthday next week on the 22nd September, for which our duly elected Prime Minister has deemed to be a public holiday, not only for Top Gun’s birthday but also as a national day of mourning for The Queen.

Rumpole put out a call to help load a container of dentist equipment to go out to the needy people od Sri Lanka next Tuesday (20th Sept), if you are available to help please respond to Rumpole.

Mastitis got an anniversary DD (although I seem to remember starting Hash in February – go figure), new member Pig Trap got one for falling on the run and breaching the blood rule, Neon (again) and Q for breaching the new shoes rule.

Upcoming events mentioned were the Paella Lunch on Sunday (18th Sept) at Raindrops’ place – if you intend on going please pay $25 to the Hash account and let Ringburner know – must have final numbers by Thursday 15th. Also next week at Mastitis’ run in Kingsley it is also International Talk Like  A Pirate Day, so come dressed as a Pirate (you know you want to BUSHIE).

Our RA awarded the night’s C#%T Of A  Driver Award to Pembo for crashing in to Top Gun, and Elbows was the recipient of a recycled mother-daughter joke.

For the tough conditions, great walk and run, good light and shelter (despite having to duck out into the rain to find a beer at the Bucket), and good food, Hare Crayfish and Co-Hare Prairie Dog were awarded a worthy 8.5 by the RA.

Meal was crumbed chicken burger in a role with cheese and coleslaw – very nice. Thanks for a great night Crayfish!



Run 2730 – Rimmer at Warwick Bowling Club, Warwick

A new venue for many including the scribe (Moses) and a good one too. 27 or so Hashmen came out in the cold to a fine Hash location and the weather improved from arrival to departure with not too much wind and it warmed up too. The map is missing as after a holiday one finds it is not difficult to select the wrong program and end up with a record of the time of run and nothing else. So 10 runners set out at 18:00, 2 went missing fairly early, near home we had a dual pig escape with Piggy and Pig Trap thinking “on home” meant that. It is actually only to give one hope as there is then a 1km lead down Lloyd Drive back to the bucket. There was some good marking and areas where Rimmer and Triple must have been looking at some skirt or other as trail was a bit uurrrggghh.Must have been near 9km run in 1 hr 18min with six runners staying together for the duration.Excellent summer run and pretty good early spring run too. Plenty parking and light and heaps of bush too, contrary to the mumbled pre-run delivery in an unknown language.

Welcome new member Pig Trap. Short cutting at your inauguration run is not a good move and being influenced by His Piggyship is a bad start. Room for improvement!

No photo description available.

RUN 2728- Seagull at Kalamunda Water Park – (2 – write-up provided by Gumby)

SEAGULL couldn’t have picked a better night. With the run starting from the car park at Kalamunda’s ‘Wet & Wild Park’ and the storm hitting Perth at 5pm, it really turned the situation into a Wet & Wild night. Seagull wasn’t wrong when he asked why we hadn’t brought our Speedo’s as we were starting the run at the West & Wild park and going to be swimming on the trail. He wasn’t wrong. Seagull took charge, as a good Hare, and nominated Q to be a Live Hare, so the pack wouldn’t get lost whilst looking for the chalk that had washed away.
There was good bush running through the many tracks around and through Kalamunda, albeit wet and dark. It was good running and swimming territory and the flour held well throughout run, considering the volume of water around. The trail took us around Kalamunda, through bushlands and brought us back into town. The pack was surprised how many under cover car parks there were in Kalamunda, giving a chance to temporarily dry before the trail took us back outside into the streams. More of a swim than a run.
Fortunately Grizzly’s work mates actually got the forecast right, where most runners came with spare dry clothes, to warm up before the circle started.
In normal fashion, our illustrious On Sec, got the circle started. With the pack huddling under the small tin roof, even Pembo was struggling to be heard above the background (at times foreground) noise of the heavy rain on the tin roof. The Down Downs included Perth Hash putting up with Pembo for 23 Years (well done PH3), Neon and Seagull as Returnees, Pig Trap as Visitor along with his fellow being, Piggy, Tomarse for interrupting the circle after Ringburners Sowndowner pitch and Phantom getting frustrated trying to explain the
difficult concept of a Restaurant Run. Our Stand-in RA, Sir Knobb, did an excellent job appointing Crayfish as his Joint Minister (following latest Parliamentary Protocols), getting Elbows up because he complained about
Sir Knob’s joke involving a Mail Run, as he prefers Female Runs, and awarding SeaGull 9.12 run score because of the good run territory, good marking with glue laced flour and good shelter from the wet & wild weather. In addition, the vegetable Sheppard’s Pie was a hit – hot and perfect in wet weather. It must have been a treat, as Rumpole had four servings…..

Run 2728 – Seagull at Kalamunda Water Park

SEAGULL’s Water fall

I could not believe my eyes when 30 Hashmen turned up in totally inclement conditions. The Western Suburbs Warriors were sorely tempted to stop and stay at the Kalamunda hotel but loyalty to the hare won out.

We started in light steady rain with the running pack led by Live hare Q going one way and Walkers led by local guide Stewie in another direction. We all met briefly mid run.

Once again the Kalamunda pub looked promising but Birdy being the only one with access to funds was not prepared to buy for the mob so we soldiered on thru the shopping centre where BIRDY led a few on a short cut only to link up with Stewie again.

Walkers beat the real runners in by about 4 minutes so it was a well planned run.

The rain then BUCKETED down testing the gutters of our Water Park shelter. PEMBO called up a couple of guys for Birthdays but cartons were lacking and PEMBO had a 23 Year Down Down.

RA SIR KNOB told an old joke which few of the Demented group remembered from last time and then with Constitutional approval invested Crayfish as his Assistant RA. If Morrison can do it so can he.

We ate a very tasty Shepherds Pie, lots of it, but no chilli sauce for those who crave.

A bloody good NOT ruined by the weather. 

Good effort Lads  Deserved the 9.25  awarded

ON ON Phantom

Run 2724- Sir Tomarse at Carine

Thirty nine Hashmen including Tom’s good mate Halfway from HHHH were treated to a great winter evening in a good location, with good weather, parking, run, walk and feed. What more could one ask for?A contingent of 16 runners were hugely impressed by the brilliant marking and heaps of checks with some false trails for the 30 minutes until we missed a laneway or two and got into a spot of bother. However, Nanny took that extent of trouble to a new high when a three way check attacked by FT, Q and Nanny had our intrepid bugler running 1 km out to Marmion Ave and then back before turning a 7km run into a 9½km version. The inputs of Christmas were evident in the latter section of the run, but it all worked pretty well and we even got back to the Onon in 50 minutes ahead of and together with the walkers.The short circle was followed by a great, tasty and hot feed of chicken curry and rice with light fluffy rice far better for ±60 portions than this scribe manages for one.

Great job SirTom and Christmas – a credit to Monday PHHH nights.

Write up provided by Moses

Run 2723- Budgie at Charley Riley Reserve – (2)

Write-up 2: kindly provided by Sir Tom Arse

Run WRITE UP 11th July 2022

Hare:  Budgie

Co Hare and cook extraordinaire Dick Tracey

Assisted by A P I WALL

A small pack of some 35 hashers started at Charles Riley Playing fields, on a perfectly clear, chilly night, pack headed across the paddock then towards North Beach Rd. We headed West two F Trails winding South and into the Trigg Bushland Reserve. Then East to Duart rd. before going North and back to the start.

First runner in 40 Mins was Q, closely followed by Orgasm, French Tickler etc.  the runners pack of about 20, rest walkers.

Grand Master Polly ran the raffle, won by Ringburner, On sec ran the circle finishing with our Religious Advisor Reluctant, who punished the Cyclists for some reason, birthdays Mastitis and ?

Is was particularly great to have Growie ( Hashing 53 yrs ex Sydney) and Bill ‘Megs’ appearance Megsie HOSH member

I was given a down down as my better half tuned 75 today, strange I thought, but appreciated as she is an outstanding lady.

The gas fire was in demand, as the temperature dropped, acknowledgement of a successful lunch at Dardanup attended by about 8 guys, all enjoyed it. The other lunch previous Friday was at Murphy’s Irish Pub, set up by Stumbles and Doc from Mandurah Hash, about 12 hashers enjoyed the day, except the main man Stumbles who missed it due to COVID.  Shit happens

Dick Tracy outstanding pots of beautiful wholesome tucker, chicken and vegs and providing take a way.

All in all, another great night with a short circle.


Run 2722- Q at Kostera Oval

Country Boys, sorry Hills Boys the young bloke Q & the old man Seagull (giving advice of course) not that Q needs it as I had a spotter see a Hashman marking some chalk using a scooter to move around on, it appears Q was carrying his partner.
We started with a pack of 30, the 16 runners set of followed by the 10 walkers (4 kept the bucket warm) The walkers usual leader “The ghost who walks” was removed & local Stewie (I just live around the corner) took over, great move after wondering around the streets we went Bush, a lot of fun, dark as a, rocks, gravel all proved to be a challenge for the walkers unless you had a torch, well marked, easy to follow, then out to the streets for a comfortable stroll home in 50 minutes, perfect for the average age of 75.
On arrival back to the bucket the shit hit the fan, Where were the Runners!!! it appears the running team broke up going their separate ways, good plan boys whilst your fellow Hashman stood around the fire having a beer & a bit of bull shit waiting. The runners started wondering in at 1 hour, 1.15 & you guessed it the last 3 to get in Triple, Sir Knob & Mastitis at 1hr 40 min. Not sure who their leader is but perhaps he needs advice from an old runner or two.
It was a good interesting walk/run, well marked.
A delayed circle was entertaining with the fire well received with extremely tasty Pulled pork coleslaw rolls to celebrate American Independence Day.   I was pleased to see the boys from the Western Suburbs, Coastal Suburbs & others make the effort to support the Hares considering a cold night & a 40-45 min drive. 

Well done boys Budgie

Run 2720 – Rumpole & Moses at WA institute of Sport

RUMPOLE and Co   (a cast of Thousands )

Well done for RUMPY, MOSES, EMU and MASTITIS for volunteering , in place of our indisposed LASAGNE.

We got to McGillivray to witness  minor rain which going to make the ground wet and smudge the chalk. And it did.

The runners set out around north side of HBF Stadium and the Walkers on South side and never the twain did meet. BIRDMAN took over the walkers and lead half on a short cut to the drink stop, leaving PHANTOM to rally the rest. As we passed the old Asylum Building (now an Aged home) it was remarked that there were more oldies outside (us )than inside.

As the Walkers had taken a big short cut we got to drink stop early and took off well before the bedraggled runners. With the help of a map we found the lane to get the short cut home, and thank God for the map as trail was difficult to find in lane and thru holes in the fence and wet grass.  BUDGIE was a minor casualty as he took a dive on trip wire and walkers were back at 7:10.

The runners were another 10 minutes and needed the help of Live Hare MASTITIS, to find the trail at various times.

An interesting run which would have suited a Summer situation but full marks for RUMPY and Co for stepping up.

Perhaps hares could make it a little easier to find restart after a false trail.

The UWA women’s AFL team was meeting adjacent to us and DOLLA and ELBOWS could not resist the opportunity to lay on the charms (WITHOUT SUCCESS)

Food was Vege Lasagne (it was supposed to be LASAGNE’S run after all) and a couple to red bloods were heard to say “Where’s the Meat “  — what Pussies




Run 2717- Polecat at Karoonda Reserve, Booragoon

ARISTOCRAT (also known as Ace Ambulance ) with Elbows better known as :

The Freo Doctors

It’s a while since we started from this spot and there was shelter if the rains came, but it turned out to be a perfect night .

The Walkers followed a well marked map which left no doubt which route to take as we followed the spine of the run .  We followed back streets, lanes and thru Booragoon Shopping centre, until we hit the bush tracks in Wireless Hill. Here the numerous tracks did not show well on the map and we managed to get lost and come out on the West side of the Park (not the South as intended )

At this point we abandoned the map and headed home roughly retracing our steps getting back in 1 hr ten .

We assessed that the run itself might be hard to follow even with numerous false trails as the restart each time seemed a little difficult to find and at the end of 1:25 mins some of our senior runners were a little puffed out !!  But even though the incoming runners were spread they seemed to enjoy themselves

Polly stood in for Pembo (off seeing the Krauts -don’t mention the war ) and he was short and sweet  but gave a top joke about penguin shagging .

Reluctant gave both barrels to fellow geo Action for not being able to open a simple gate (you pull not push mate) and gave the run an 8.5  

Sausage hot pot went down well to finish a top night

WBDFQ   Phantom